The One You Really Want

Doreen was in the middle of a dream. Mia hoped it was a happy one. Sitting down carefully next to William on the sofa in the living room, she watched Doreen’s paws twitch and her eyelids flicker, for all the world as if she was chasing rabbits.

Or was that just Irish dogs? Could a London one, born and bred in the city, dream of chasing something it had probably never seen in its life? Maybe urban dogs dreamed of chasing taxis or traffic wardens, or just old discarded burger wrappers as they blew down the street.

William, careful not to disturb Doreen while he ate a bacon sandwich, said comfortably, ‘Don’t blame yourself, love. It wasn’t your fault.’

‘We are,’ William agreed. ‘Well, who wouldn’t get on with a lady like that? What you see is what you get with Rose.’

Mia nodded. This was true, more or less. Apart from the fact that Rose knew something he didn’t know.

The beginnings of an idea began to unfurl inside Mia’s head. It was so unfair that Nancy and Zac should have to pretend to be a couple purely for William’s benefit. In fact, more than that, it was ridiculous.

William shrugged and swallowed a mouthful of sandwich. ‘So long as it isn’t about quantum physics.’

‘OK,’ said Mia. ‘There’s something I really should tell him, but I can’t because I’m scared he’ll hate me for it.’

William, watching Doreen’s ears twitch, said easily, ‘I can’t believe that. Fathers don’t think that way. What kind of something?’

Exactly the question Mia had wanted him to ask. This was going perfectly to plan. Fiddling with the stem of her glass, she said, ‘I can’t tell you. It’s . . . difficult.’

William gazed steadily at her. Doreen opened one eye then closed it again as he stroked her head.

Finally he said, ‘Well, that’s not so terrible, is it? I’ve only met Connor a couple of times but I can’t imagine he’d refuse to speak to you again. You’re his daughter, his own flesh and blood. He loves you. He just wants you to be happy.’

William said nothing. He carried on stroking Doreen’s head. Then he exhaled slowly, stirring the hairs on her silky ears.

‘I didn’t. Not for sure.’ Shaking his head, William said, ‘But I suspected he was. He never told me, though. Never dropped any hints, never said anything. Which made things difficult. I mean, it wasn’t something that ever came up in conversation. We just aren’t that kind of family. And it wasn’t up to me to force the issue. How could I ever ask Zac if he was gay? What if he wasn’t? He’d never have forgiven me.’

‘I just left it.’ William nodded. ‘I figured if Zac wanted me to know, he’d tell me. If he didn’t want me to know, he wouldn’t. And maybe he wasn’t gay after all, in which case all the more reason not to say anything.’ He frowned slightly. ‘Does Nancy know?’

‘Nothing. It was all for show. To be honest, I had high hopes for Nancy and my dad, but she isn’t his type. I’ve done my best.’ Mia gestured ruefully in the direction of the noisy kitchen. ‘But this lot are hopeless. Everyone’s destined to be just good friends.’

‘I don’t know. But that’s why people generally hide that kind of thing from their parents, isn’t it? I just think it’s better to get it out in the open,’ Mia said simply. ‘Then everyone can relax.’

‘No. She just thought it was time you came clean. It’s all right,’ said Nancy. ‘You don’t have to worry.’ Her mouth twitching, she added, ‘You won’t have to kiss me any more either.’

‘It wasn’t very nice, was it? Sorry about that.’ Anxiously Zac said, ‘Are you sure Dad’s OK?’

Nancy pulled him into the hall. ‘Why don’t you go and see for yourself? He’s in the sitting room with Doreen.’

Bracing himself, Zac went to meet his father. As he entered the sitting room, Doreen leapt down from William’s lap and launched herself joyfully at Zac. Picking her up and cuddling her, Zac wordlessly met his father’s gaze.

‘It’s fine, son. You don’t have to say anything.’ Rising to his feet, William made his way across the room to Zac.

‘Nothing to apologise for.’ Slightly awkwardly - they’d never been a demonstrative family - William rested his roughened hand on Zac’s shoulder. ‘I’m as proud of you today as I was the day you were born. No one could have asked for a better son.’

Zac’s eyes filled with tears as the weight of keeping his secret all these years fell away. ‘I’ve had a good dad.’

Evidently terrified that Zac might be about to hug him, William gave his shoulder a series of jerky pats, while Doreen licked Zac’s face.

‘Come on then, son. It’s been quite a day. Let’s go through to the kitchen, shall we? I reckon we could both do with another drink.’

Rennie stood in the kitchen and silently re-read the copy of the press release faxed through by his agent.

Biba Keyes had been rushed to hospital last night in excruciating pain and had undergone an emergency caesarean. The baby, born five weeks prematurely, was a healthy boy - name yet to be announced. Biba was currently exhausted and recovering from the trauma of surgery but delighted by the safe arrival of her beautiful son.

‘All right, pet? You’ve gone pale.’ Rose, busy making a plum crumble, looked anxious. ‘Bad news?’

How could the birth of a child be bad news? His emotions scarily mixed, Rennie offered the fax to Rose, who held up her sticky hands.

Rennie’s hand shook as she read the press release. Rose’s expression changed and she said, ‘Oh, sweetheart, and they didn’t even ring you. Well, I suppose it all happened too fast. Thank goodness they’re both OK.’ Wiping her hands on a cloth and pushing the bowl of crumble away, Rose said tentatively, ‘Am I allowed to say congratulations?’

‘I don’t know. It feels a bit weird.’ The phone in Rennie’s jeans pocket burst into life.

‘For Christ’s sake don’t visit them,’ his agent announced without preamble. ‘Don’t go near the place. I’ve been in touch with the lawyers and they’re arranging the DNA test.’

‘She says it’s mine.’ Rennie watched Rose untie her floury pink apron and slip out of the kitchen.

‘Ha,’ his agent snorted. ‘And her dad’s Elvis. Innocent until proven guilty, remember. Just make sure you keep away from her and the kid.’

Rennie hung up. His agent had three ex-wives and five children he seldom saw but paid a fortune to support.

At this moment, his own son could be lying in a hospital cot less than two miles away.

‘Here, pet, I made it last week. I don’t know if you’d like to take it with you when you visit.’

Rennie took the small parcel and unwrapped the crackling tissue paper. How typical of Rose to have thought of doing such a thing. The hand-knitted jacket was tiny, white and immaculate. Extraordinarily, the sight of it almost brought tears to his eyes.

‘What’s perfect?’ Carmen, yawning and running her fingers through her spiky hair, wandered into the kitchen. Since giving up her work at the hostel she had taken to sleeping late.

‘Well. How exciting.’ Reaching for a cup and a tea bag, Carmen sloshed in boiling water. Her shoulders stiff and her tone brittle, she said, ‘You’re a dad.’

Carmen shrugged, still not looking at him. ‘Call me old fashioned, but don’t you think it might be an idea to find out?’

‘I’m here to see Biba Keyes,’ Rennie told the receptionist. ‘Can you tell me which room she’s in?’

‘Just one moment please.’ The receptionist picked up the phone and murmured into it.

Three minutes later, the faint smell of hospitals was replaced by a blast of Obsession as a blonde girl tapped Rennie on the shoulder. Heavily made-up and less pretty than Biba, wearing a glittery yellow boob tube with spray-on jeans and yellow stilettos, she eyed him up and down before breaking into a slow smile.

Rennie disliked her at once. ‘I’d have been here last night if I’d known what was happening.’

‘I’m Jodie, Biba’s sister. You can’t see them now. Biba’s knackered and the baby’s asleep.’

‘No, you don’t understand. Biba doesn’t want to see you. She feels very let down by the way you’ve treated her. It’s, like, she needs time to work through the pain of your heartless rejection, after everything you meant to each other.’

Rennie wondered if Jodie always spoke tabloid, or just saved it for special occasions.

Jodie painstakingly adjusted her sizeable breasts inside the confines of their yellow Lycra cage. Then she shook her head.

‘Biba says she needs some quality time alone with her precious son, in order to come to terms with the pain of your heartless rejection.’

‘You already said that.’ Rennie tried not to breathe in the overpowering smell of Obsession.

‘Yeah, but it’s like a kind of grief she needs to work through,’ Jodie parroted. ‘Becoming a single parent is, like, so not what Biba wanted.’

‘Five minutes, OK?’ If the child was his son, Rennie couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing him.

Without warning Jodie reached out and shoved him violently away from her. Staggering backwards on her high heels she yelled, ‘Security! Get this man out of here! HELP!’