Chapter 59
The time had come, as it invariably did, to call a halt on a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere. Connor sighed as he made his way across town to Tabitha’s flat. He hated this bit, the telling-them-it-was-all-over bit, but he could no longer put it off. The other day Tabitha had rung to invite him to meet her parents this coming weekend. They were lovely people, she’d eagerly assured him, it wouldn’t be a chore and they were so looking forward to meeting him.
Connor was sure he would have liked Tabitha’s parents, but what would be the point of meeting them? They would be mentally sizing him up as a potential son-in-law and that wasn’t fair, on either them or Tabitha. He had made an excuse, followed by another excuse when she had said brightly, ‘Well then, how about the weekend after next?’
Tabitha was a great girl. He didn’t want to hurt her or string her along. So here he was, about to do the deed as gently as possible.
God, he hoped she wouldn’t cry.
‘Sweetheart, you’re early!’ Excited to see him, Tabitha gave him a hug and pulled him into the flat. ‘Now don’t be cross, I know I said I was cooking tonight, but something’s come up and I just haven’t had time so we’re going to be ordering in a pizza instead.’
‘That’s fine.’ Connor hadn’t wanted Tabitha to cook in the first place, but she had gone all Nigella on him and insisted. Finishing with someone over a pizza would be far easier than doing it during the course of some dinner it may have taken her hours to cook.
‘Let’s have a drink. We need to talk. God, everything’s happened so fast.’ Hurrying him through to the comfortably cluttered living room, Tabitha sloshed red wine into two glasses. All the better to throw at a man when he chucks you, thought Connor, watching her take out a cigarette. She was wearing a green striped shirt and a figure-hugging pink woollen skirt, and her handbag and jacket were dumped on the blue checked sofa, indicating that she hadn’t long arrived home from work.
‘So what’s all this about then?’ Connor pulled a lighter from his trouser pocket and lit her cigarette.
Tabitha exhaled a long stream of smoke. ‘I’ve been offered a new job.’
‘Hey, great.’
‘In financial journalism.’
‘Tab, that’s fantastic news!’ He was genuinely pleased for her.
Taking a hefty gulp of wine, Tabitha said, ‘In New York.’
Connor almost shouted, ‘That’s brilliant,’ but sensed it wouldn’t be appropriate. Over the rim of her wine glass, Tabitha was eyeing him intently.
Aloud he said, ‘Well . . . that’s a surprise.’
‘I know. And I’m flattered, of course I am. It’s always nice to be wanted. But I don’t know whether to accept.’
‘I see.’ Carefully, Connor said, ‘And why’s that?’
‘Well, I was rather hoping you’d guess. It’s a pretty good job,’ said Tabitha, ‘but it’s still only a job. How would you feel if I went to New York?’
‘Well, I’d . . . um, I don’t really . . .’
‘Because if you’d rather I turned it down and stayed here,’ Tabitha went on hurriedly, ‘I would. You know, if you thought we had something worth hanging on to, I’d turn them down in a flash.’
There was a kind of hopeful yearning in her eyes, but it was tinged with sadness.
‘Tab,’ Connor said gently, ‘you’re a great girl and I think a lot of you, but you mustn’t turn down an opportunity like that on my account.’
There was a long silence, then Tabitha heaved a sigh and said, ‘Bugger. How did I know you were going to say that?’
‘Sweetheart, it’s not you. It’s me.’
Tabitha rolled her eyes. ‘How did I know you were going to say that?’
‘I hope we’ll always be friends,’ Connor struggled on.
‘And that.’
‘You deserve better than me,’ said Connor.
‘And that!’ By this time half laughing, half crying, Tabitha picked up her packet of cigarettes and pretended to throw them at him. ‘OK, don’t say any more, I get the message.’ She wiped her eyes and raised her glass. ‘Let’s have a toast, shall we? To my dazzling new job and my dazzling new life. And to the fact that the next time I hear some man churning out those clichéd old lines, he’ll be saying them to me in an American accent.’
They smiled at each other and clinked glasses. Overcome with relief, Connor gave Tabitha a hug, then they settled down together on the sofa.
‘You didn’t even tell me you were applying for jobs in New York.’
‘It wasn’t that planned. A friend of mine went over there last year. She emailed me a couple of days ago, to tell me her latest boyfriend had dumped her. I emailed back and told her that mine was about to chuck me. I’d kind of guessed,’ Tabitha explained drily in response to the look on Connor’s face, ‘when you made all those excuses not to meet my parents. Anyway, I jokingly asked Kate if there were any jobs going on her paper. Ten minutes later she rang me from work and told me there was. The next thing I knew, she’d put me on to the editor of the financial section whose assistant had just handed in his notice. We had a long chat - his name’s Duane, can you believe it? - and he said he’d need to see some of my work. So yesterday I sat down and wrote three completely brilliant pieces - if I say so myself - about mutual funds, futures and annuities. At midnight I sent them off to him. Then this afternoon he rang back to offer me the job!’
‘It’s the opportunity of a lifetime. You couldn’t turn that down,’ said Connor.
‘No.’ Her smile rueful, Tabitha said, ‘But I would have.’
Connor reached for the bottle of wine and topped up her glass. ‘Trust me, you’ll have the time of your life. And end up meeting someone who really deserves you.’
‘How about you, then?’ Tabitha eased off her pink high-heeled shoes and tucked her feet under her. Tilting her head to one side, she said, ‘Who deserves you?’
Connor pulled a face. ‘God only knows. Who’d want an old wreck like me?’
‘Don’t be flippant. Honestly, typical man. Any mention of emotions and you panic.’ Taking a sip of wine, Tabitha said, ‘Come on, you can tell me. Who do you like?’
Connor immediately began to panic. As if he was going to tell her that. Banishing all thoughts of Nancy firmly from his mind, he said, ‘Well, Michelle Pfeiffer’s not bad. If you want to put in a good word.’
‘See? You’re doing it again.’
‘Or that Penny Thingummy who reads the news on GMTV. Sparkly eyes,’ said Connor. ‘And a naughty smile. I like her.’
‘How about Nancy?’
‘What?’ A breezeblock landed with a thud on Connor’s chest. Had he just said Nancy’s name aloud instead of thinking it? And why was Tabitha looking at him like that?
‘You heard.’
‘I don’t know what you mean.’ The breezeblock was pressing ever more heavily on his lungs. Was this how it felt to have a heart attack?
‘Oh, come on, Connor, why don’t you just admit it? Because I know,’ said Tabitha. ‘I saw you.’
‘Saw me where? Saw me when? Doing what?’ He’d felt like this once before, upon being caught stealing apples from the local priest’s garden. He’d denied it, despite the fact that apples were bulging from the pockets of his grey school trousers. For thieving and having the shameless gall to lie about it, the priest had walloped him so hard he hadn’t been able to sit down for a week.
Except he’d been eight years old then. At least Tabitha wasn’t likely to give him a walloping.
‘Your face.’ Lighting another cigarette and taking fast, jerky puffs, Tabitha said, ‘You should see yourself. OK, remember me ringing you from work after Mia glued herself to that lion?’
Rather than risk actually saying anything, Connor nodded.
‘Well, I wasn’t at work. As soon as I got your message I jumped into a cab and came down to Trafalgar Square, but you’d already left by then, so I guessed I’d find you at the police station. And I did,’ Tabitha went on, her expression rueful. ‘When I turned up, there you were. Outside the station with Nancy. I watched the two of you together from across the road. That’s where I was when I phoned you.’ Puffing faster than ever on her cigarette, she said, ‘That’s when I knew, really. Well, you’d have to be blind not to know. It was so obvious.’
Connor exhaled slowly. Tabitha sounded resigned rather than angry. ‘Was it?’
‘Oh yes.’ Her smile was crooked. ‘Well, I clung on for a bit, you know. Tried to pretend it hadn’t happened. Deep down though, you know when you’re beaten, don’t you? But what I don’t understand is why the two of you never got together in the first place. I mean, what was to stop it happening before I came along?’
Oh well, if Tabitha could be blunt, so could he.
‘It hasn’t happened because Nancy doesn’t want it to happen,’ Connor admitted. Now that it was finally out in the open, he felt a rush of relief. ‘I’m crazy about her, but she just isn’t interested. I asked her out more than once and she said no every time. So you see, I do know how it feels not to have your feelings returned. And there’s nothing I can do about it.’ Resignedly he said, ‘I suppose I’m just not Nancy’s type.’
Two dimples appeared in Tabitha’s cheeks. ‘You berk.’
‘I know. God, talk about embarrassing. To think you could tell, just from watching from across the street.’ Closing his eyes, Connor sighed. ‘She must be laughing her head off. I can’t believe I was so obvious.’
‘You complete and utter berk,’ Tabitha repeated, patting his knee and starting to laugh. ‘You really don’t get it, do you? When I was watching the two of you, it wasn’t just you who was being obvious.’
‘What?’ Connor’s eyes shot open in disbelief.
‘You should have seen the way Nancy was looking at you when you weren’t watching. I’m serious,’ Tabitha insisted, stubbing out her cigarette. ‘This was absolutely a two-way thing. I know what I saw that day, and I don’t know why she turned you down before. But trust me, you are one hundred per cent most definitely Nancy’s type.’