I woke up this morning and saw that it was raining again. Resigned to continuing on my wet, soggy Camino, I got dressed for the day. I bundled up and had breakfast, got my passport stamped, then headed out.
Holy Mother God,
I am open to learning all that serves my spirit and helps me better serve you today.
Amen.
The walk was quiet as I strolled along, but about two miles into it I realized that, even though it was raining, it was actually quite warm outside. With all the layers I had on under the big plastic bag called my poncho, I was suddenly so hot I almost passed out. It was like walking in a sauna.
I stopped and began to disrobe, almost down to my underwear. I took off my wool shirt, and down vest, and headband, then rolled up my pants into shorts and took off my poncho. I didn’t care if I got wet. I was dying.
Stripped down to a more comfortable level, I resumed walking, and as I did I began to notice huge black, slimy, gooey slugs all over the path. I looked ahead. They were everywhere. The Camino was giving me a very important message by placing these in my path today.
My mind started saying, Slugs and leeches. Slugs and leeches. The more I saw, the more I began to reflect on people in my life who had been—and were still—slugs and leeches.
These were people who didn’t take responsibility for themselves. People who were deadbeats and didn’t pay their bills or tell the truth. These were people who promised what they didn’t deliver and didn’t think they had to. People who were more interested in what they could get from others than what they could offer.
I could see how I had entertained so many of these slugs and leeches because I didn’t have strong enough personal boundaries to say, “Go away. I’m not interested.”
I carried these people way too often and way too far. Who knows why, really? I just did.
As I walked, I knew it was time to stop hosting such people in my life. People who were not really interested in showing up with integrity, for example. Or people who were more committed to drama than to creative solutions. Or people who felt sorry for themselves and expected others, like me, to rescue them from their own emotional BS. I knew that I had allowed way too many of that kind of person to take my energy and drain my spirit. It clearly was time to let go of the slugs and leeches in my life.
“Thank you, Camino. I get it,” I said out loud, dodging the gross, slimy creatures as best I could without stepping on them, which wasn’t easy, as they were everywhere.
But the longer I walked, the more I began to realize that the real slugs and leeches in my life were not people, but rather my own unexamined thoughts dragging me down and draining me of my joy.
I thought of how these negative, self-condemning thoughts and beliefs just rode on my energy, contributing nothing, while stealing away my life force, my joy, my peace, and my sense of self-love. They sucked my spirit dry.
The message was clear. It was time I paid closer attention to what I was allowing in my life, whether people or thoughts. It was time to be rid of what did not uplift my spirit. It was time to love myself that much. No more slugs and leeches, on any level.
Eventually I came across a sweet little place along the path that looked like a church but wasn’t really. The door was open, so I walked in. It was very small inside. There were a few chairs, some small paintings of nature on the walls, and several lit candles, but no one was around. At the front of the single room, on a small stand, was a Bible opened to a highlighted passage that said, “Trust in the Lord.”
I read it several times, then sat down and prayed for a while. I realized that this passage was what the Camino was about. It was a journey away from fear and wounding and into healing and trust in the Lord.
A short time later a man entered the room and introduced himself, saying his name was Ernest. He then asked me if I would pray with him, to which I happily agreed. Then he took both of my hands and said a prayer of gratitude for my being there. I was so touched and surprised that he would do this, and felt honored and loved in his presence.
After our prayer he shared with me that he had come to the Camino from England ten years earlier, so troubled and saddened by his life that he almost wanted to end it, and when he had finished the Camino he was healed. After that he realized that he had the means to walk away from his old life and came back in search of a way to serve future pilgrims. So he found this place and began doing his artwork and receiving pilgrims along the way. It was his bliss and he was serene and peaceful ever since then. I gave him a hug and he wished me a “Buen Camino,” and I was soon back on my way.
Shortly after, I entered a section of the Camino where everything seemed strange and magical and out of this world, and I found myself totally turned around. I couldn’t find the arrows anywhere. I was lost. I continued on a bit farther and came to several forks in the road, a heavy mist in all directions. I was confused and didn’t know where I was or which way to go.
There was not a soul around, so following my instincts I took the path to the left, where eventually I came upon a clearing with what appeared to be a work shed of some sort.
As I got closer, I could see that the shed was attached to a house with an open door, so I called out. Then I boldly walked in, hoping to ask for directions back to the Camino. Inside was an older, scruffy, Spanish-speaking man with sparkling eyes, wearing a red bandana for a headband, who invited me into his kitchen to have a coffee. I don’t know how, as he was speaking mostly Spanish, but I understood every word he said.
I thanked him and declined, saying I just needed to get back to the Camino, but he shook his head and said that I was brought to him by the Camino for a reason and should stop and rest. Seeing the light in his clear dark eyes, I knew that it was true. So I took off Pilgrim, set my poles down, and sat at the table.
He prepared a very strong coffee for me and then said, “Antonio, your brother, brought you here.”
My heart lurched when I heard that. “He wanted you to come because he wanted you to know he is happy you are here on the Camino.”
My eyes filled with tears hearing this. There was no way this man knew about my brother or his name, and yet it was the first thing he said to me. He continued, “Antonio is helping you with your worries and wants you to know this. He also wants you to know he is with your father and very happy.”
I was so surprised to be hearing this from him that I was speechless. Then he said, “Please enter my meditation sanctuary.” Then he walked me from the kitchen to an incredible meditation room, with gorgeous works of art that he had made out of crystals and stones all over the walls.
“This is a healing room,” the man said. “Please relax and allow the earth to heal your body and heart. Stay as long as you want.” Then he left.
I sat down, feeling a bit stunned that I had been brought here by my brother. I could feel his presence and knew it was true because my brother had loved stones all of his life. I could also feel how happy he was to be here with me at this moment.
I heard my brother singing, “May the good Lord shine a light on you,” and felt his love surround me.
I sat and prayed for some time, reflecting on what a powerful day it had been so far, and thanked God and all my guides, and especially my brother for bringing me here.
Eventually I walked back to the kitchen, where the man told me he was a shaman and wanted to give me my animal totem. With that he pulled out a deck of very old, worn cards wrapped in some sort of animal skin, and put them before me, asking me to shuffle, which I did. He then asked me to pull a card. The one I pulled was of a spider. He smiled and told me that my feminine self was whole and healed now. I no longer needed to be a warrior and it was time to be creative and be at home in my spirit.
“Walk with spider wherever you go,” he said. “She is the protector of your spirit. She is your helper.”
He then said, “Peregrina, as you are walking home on this Camino, your brother is walking with you.”
I just cried and cried when I heard this. It was true. I had run away when I was younger. Now I was walking back home.
He put the cards away and then gave me a beautiful raw crystal, saying that the Camino’s wisdom and power would go with me in this crystal because it was from this mountain we were on.
I put it in Pilgrim and thanked him with a big hug.
He said, “Go in peace. All is well. Buen Camino.”
I believed him.
I walked out his door and started walking, failing to ask him which way to go to get back on the Camino. Ten minutes later I came to the same fork in the road I had seen earlier, only this time there was a huge yellow arrow clearly pointing the way.
Two hours later, I arrived in Sarria.