The neighborhood grew more lively as the weather turned warmer. Even when the nights were still cool, people could be seen out walking their dogs later than usual or going for a jog. And then there were the cars that passed by, determined to get wherever they were going as quickly as possible, conveniently forgetting the danger their speed posed to themselves the people around them.
Frankie sat on the front steps of the house and watched the neighborhood move around him.
It had been on those front steps that his life had changed. The first glimpse he got of his wife’s suicide. The first moment he realized his life would never be the same.
The mourners and well-wishers had finally cleared out. Frankie’s parents had agreed to move in right away, only spending the days at their house until they could get it packed up and sold. Suddenly the house was noisy again. But it was different.
Frankie needed to get away from that noise. He needed to clear his head. Think things through. Gary was right. The only way he was going to get through this was to spend some time in the raw emotions. As long as he was careful not to let those emotions whisk him away forever.
Samantha and Kathy needed him to stay strong.
The door opened behind him and Frankie turned to see his father coming out.
“Here.” James handed him a jacket. “It’s cold out here. Put this on before you get sick.”
Frankie had barely noticed the temperature, but he complied simply to avoid any amount of bickering. As he moved, he noticed that he had been crying and wiped away the tears from his eyes.
“I also brought this out for you.” James handed him a bottle of whiskey. “Today was rough. Nobody would blame you for taking the edge off for one night.”
A genuine smiled spread across Frankie’s face as he took the bottle and studied it. “Thanks, but I think I’m all set.” He put it aside. Just like he couldn’t let his emotions control him, he knew it would be too easy to drown his grief in alcohol. Better to keep it out of his life completely for a while.
“That’s probably for the best,” James said. “But I just thought I’d offer.”
“I want to be fully-present for the girls,” Frankie said. “How are they?”
“They’re a little sadder now that it’s night time. All they want is their mom.”
Frankie nodded, feeling the tug at his heart. He had always been the one to put them to bed, but that was usually after the girls had spent all day with Marie. Now that she was gone, he needed to step up. So far, all he’d been doing was pushing off the extra responsibilities on his parents. On top of his grief, he also felt guilty of being a bad parent.
“I should go up and put them to bed.” He started to rise, but James grabbed his arm and pulled him back down.
“Your mother has it under control. You can put them to bed tomorrow night. The three of you will need each other now more than ever. Your mother and I will be here to help, but we’re still just Grandma and Grandpa.”
“That’s why it should be me up there.”
James shook his head. “Not right now. Give yourself time to grieve your wife. Your girls will understand. They need to grieve too, but first they need to understand what had truly happened.”
Frankie couldn’t imagine answering all of their questions. He was so burned out from a long day of interaction and questions about the days leading up to his wife’s passing that he needed time to recharge before he took on Samantha and Kathy’s questions too.
“I just can’t wrap my head around it,” Frankie finally said. “The shock of it. Up until the last few days, Marie never seemed like the type who would…”
James nodded. “I know. I was thinking the same thing too.”
Frankie scrutinized the last week of Marie’s life. She had gone from taking the kids to the zoo and having a good time to blowing off a date with him and then—
“You know,” James started quietly, “have you considered the possibility that she was led to end her own life supernaturally?”