‘You look like you just ran a marathon.’
‘Not quite a marathon.’ I had left the gym with just enough time to walk and feed Cocoa. My evening preparations had involved scraping back my hair and throwing on some jeans, a shirt and a jacket.
I knew I looked terrible, but hey, I wasn’t the one on display tonight.
I reached out and straightened Bob’s tie and then combed his hair into place with my fingers. ‘You scrub up pretty well.’
‘You think it’s too much?’ He touched his tie.
‘Nah. You look great. Come on.’ I pushed open the restaurant door and scanned the room. They weren’t there yet.
A waiter stood by the reception desk.
‘Booking for four under the name of Monica,’ I told him.
‘This way.’ He led us through the room to a table in the corner and waited while we sat side by side. With a deft movement, he flicked the folded serviettes off the table and onto our laps, and deposited menus in front of us.
‘Hmmmm.’ I flicked open the menu. I was pretty hungry after my cardio session.
‘What if she doesn’t come?’ Bob picked up his serviette and started tearing little strips off the edge.
‘Stop that.’ I reached out and slapped his hands. If he kept going, he was going to have a lap full of confetti.
He looked at me with puppy-dog eyes.
‘She’s here.’ I nodded past him to the door where Monica and Sasha had just appeared.
‘Help,’ he let out a whimper.
‘Toughen up,’ I mumbled out of the side of my mouth as I waved. ‘This was your idea.’
He wiped his hands on his serviette, turning it into a torn, soggy lump.
‘Sorry we’re late.’ Monica shot a look at her sister. ‘Have you been waiting long?’
I stifled a smile. Obviously Sasha had been freaking out as much about this as Bob had been. ‘No, just a few minutes.’
Bob raced around the table, hip-thrusting the waiter out of the way so he could pull the chair opposite his out for Sasha. She smiled shyly at him and slipped into her seat.
I had been right yesterday. Her features were flawless. Creamy skin with blue eyes large enough to match her full lips. It was hard not to be jealous.
‘Have you had a nice day?’ she asked Bob.
‘The best day ever,’ he said. ‘I mean now. Now it is the best day ever.’
It would have been impolite of me to stick my finger in my mouth, so instead, I turned to Monica.
‘Where’s your little man?’
‘At home with his Dad.’ She picked up the menu and opened it. ‘Do you want to get a heap of dishes and share them?’
‘Sounds perfect.’ I looked sideways at Bob and Sasha. They were totally oblivious to us, each of them looking into the other’s eyes and finding things nobody else could see.
‘I think we should order for all of us.’ Monica rolled her eyes. ‘Don’t know why they needed us at all, but I’m glad for the excuse to get out.’
‘Sure. I’m starving.’
We placed our order with the waiter and then chitchatted about motherhood and my job, each of us trying not to eavesdrop on the conversation going on beside us.
The food arrived quickly and we all dug in, Bob far more restrained than normal. It was delicious, but my mind kept creeping back to the one place I didn’t want it to go. Billy.
What if he had come home and I wasn’t there? What if he hadn’t?
I’d been ignoring Bruce and Martine’s texts and missed calls. It was rude I knew, but I wasn’t ready to talk.
I knew what people were going to think. How the boys at work would translate this. And I just didn’t want anybody to know. Didn’t want to deal with the questions. The pitying looks. The whispers.
But Bruce at least deserved to know that Billy wouldn’t be coming to work.
I put my fork down and wiped my mouth with my serviette. Yes, that was the least I could do.
‘I’m so sorry,’ I said to Monica. ‘I just realised I forgot to tell my boyfriend’s boss that he’s sick.’
She waved a hand at me with her mouth still full and I pulled out my phone and sent off a text to Bruce. I felt guilty about the lie as soon as I had hit send, but it was all I had in me at that moment.
I placed the phone back in my bag and helped myself to some more red curry. The food was really good and we didn’t talk for the next few minutes while we ate.
‘Well, it looks like our work here is done.’ I leaned back in the chair and debated undoing my top button.
Monica looked at her sister and nodded. ‘Yup. I think they can take it from here.’
They hardly even noticed as we hopped up and headed for the door. ‘He’s paying,’ I told the waiter as I pointed at Bob.
Monica laughed. ‘Thanks. That was great.’
‘Yeah, you too.’ I almost managed a sincere smile. She had been good company. Talking enough, but not feeling like she had to stuff every silence with words.
It didn’t take me long to walk home. I pulled out my keys as I jogged up the stairs, letting myself into the apartment in record time. He wasn’t there.
Tears pricked my eyes as I sagged onto the couch. Cocoa crawled into my lap and lay there. No doubt he was also missing Billy.
‘Come on, boy.’ I dragged myself upright and took his lead off the hook by the door. He stood still as I attached it to his collar, but his front legs shook with excitement.
The walk did nothing for my mood, but it did help clear my head. By the time I got home I had a plan of action. There was one person that Billy may have confided in, and that one person just may be willing to put me out of my misery.
I looked at the clock. 9.50 P.M. It was probably too late to ring him now, it would have to wait till the morning.
I showered and went to bed, expecting to toss and turn. But instead, sleep came easily, my conscious mind diving deep to avoid the pain that reality brought with it.
***
The phone answered on the third ring. ‘Hello?’
‘Matt, it’s Chanel. Sorry, did I wake you?’ I had no idea if he and Tara were night owls or morning risers.
‘Hey Chanel. No, not at all. How have you been? Has your ankle recovered yet?’
‘Yes, back to full function.’
‘Oh that’s great. Tara and I feel awful about that.’
‘Don’t be silly Matt. It wasn’t your fault.’ I cleared my throat. What if I was reading this all back to front? What if this had nothing to do with the Super and everything to do with me?
‘Everything okay?’
‘Yes. No. Maybe.’ I took a deep breath. ‘Billy’s missing.’
There was a second’s pause on the line ‘Missing? What do you mean missing?
‘He didn’t come home the night before last and I haven’t been able to contact him.’ The tears, I had been trying so hard to ignore, pushed their way to the front of the queue.
‘Tell me everything you know.’
The tears escaped, trailing down my face as I filled Matt in. It didn’t take me long. ‘Sorry. I don’t know much.’
‘You know some,’ he said. ‘I hate to say this, but I agree with Trent. If he’s gone deep undercover you would only be endangering him if you did manage to find him. I know it sounds harsh, but you need to stay out of it.’
I flinched at his words. Stay out of it?
It was my fault. I had to make it better.
But, what if he was right? What if I messed up and Billy’s cover was blown?
It was food for thought.
‘Thanks.’ I let out a sniffle. ‘I’ll try.’
‘Try hard.’
I smiled. ‘Give my love to Tara.’
‘Will do.’
I stood as I hung up and started to pace the apartment.
Was the chance of Billy getting hurt higher if I did or didn’t interfere? I couldn’t pick it. I didn’t have enough information. I would need a crystal ball to know. But that’s not the question that haunted me, that went round and round in my head.
The real question, the most important of all, was what would Billy do if the situation was reversed? Would he hold back, believing it best for me, or would he follow his intuition and forge ahead?
I just wasn’t sure any more.
***
No-one noticed when I walked into the office. They were all clustered around Bob, staring at his phone.
‘No way,’ Nathan said. ‘You did not have dinner with her.’
‘She’s beautiful isn’t she?’ Bob said.
‘I don’t believe it. You’re having a lark.’ Mark turned to Dave. ‘What date is it? Is it April? April the first?’
I looked over Nathan’s shoulder. It was a photo of Sasha sitting in the restaurant. Bob must have taken it after we left.
‘That’s her all right,’ I said. ‘In fact, I don’t think the photo does her justice.’
Bob beamed at me and mouthed, ‘Thank you’. It wasn’t often he got to one-up Nathan and Mark.
‘So, it went well?’ I asked him as we were leaving the Station.
‘You saw it.’
‘No, I mean after we left.’
‘Yeah.’ His façade washed a faint shade of pink. ‘We went for coffee. There’s just so much we have in common. We talked until the café kicked us out at eleven. Then I walked her back to Monica’s.’
‘And?’
‘And?’ His face turned even pinker.
‘Well? Did you kiss her?’
His smile could have snapped the rest of his head off.
‘I’ll take that for a yes.’ I let out a deep sigh. I hadn’t been kissed for a couple of days.
‘What do you want to do today?’ Bob held up the keys to one of the Station’s patrol cars.
‘Really? We get a car?’ Normally Nathan and Mark took the car while we went on foot. But that had been when Ramy was in charge.
‘Trent said it was our turn.’
I punched the air and headed around the back of the building to the car park. ‘You drive,’ I said.
The last time I had driven I had backed into a post and – oh, right…that’s what I’d done to land me on the front desk the last time.
I fastened my seat belt while Bob started the ignition. ‘So,’ he said, ‘did you want to talk about anything in particular?’
I looked over at him. He checked both directions and backed out of the park. ‘Like what?’
‘Like, maybe what’s making you so miserable.’
I always made the mistake of underestimating Bob. Maybe that’s why we made good partners. Everybody always seemed to be underestimating me. ‘Nah,’ I said. Why rain on his parade?
‘Well, what do you want to do?’
‘Let’s go catch some bad guys.’
We drove for a couple of hours, during which time we booked a couple of drivers for speeding, one for failing to stop, and one for going the wrong way up a one-way street.
‘I’m hungry,’ Bob declared at ten-thirty. It was actually quite late for him. ‘Dunkin or Krispy?’
‘You had Dunkin yesterday.’
‘You’re right.’ He smiled. ‘It’s only fair to share the donut love around.’ He turned right and headed for a petrol station that stocked Krispy Kreme donuts. It also housed a fine selection of roasted nuts and protein bars for which I was grateful.
The way I was feeling, it was possible I might turn into a donut-starved banshee and go on a rampage. That could get ugly.
A few minutes later I was perusing the protein bar selection while listening to Bob choose his donuts. It sounded like he was going hard today, either that or he was feeling generous enough to take some back to the station. Given his mood it was probably the latter.
I heard the front door jangle and then a gruff voice said, ‘Put your hands up. This is a stick up.’
I ducked down in the aisle and started creeping away from the door so that I could peer around the end without them seeing me.
‘Ahhh Christ,’ a second voice said. ‘It’s a cop.’
‘And he’s buying donuts. A cop buying donuts. Get it.’ The first man started to laugh. ‘Spread your legs fat boy and get down on the ground.’
Stick up? Spread your legs? These guys had been watching too many cop movies.
‘Hey,’ it was the second voice. I wasn’t sure if it was a man or woman. ‘Don’t cops come in twos?’
‘Yeah. They does. Where’s your friend, fat boy?’
‘I don’t have any friends.’ Bob was trying to be brave, but his voice had a tremor.
I reached the end of the aisle and slowly slipped around the corner till I could peer through the chip packets.
‘Sure you do. Now, where is he?’
It was two men. Both wore balaclavas. The larger man, the owner of the gruff voice, also had a gun.
Awww, shit. I mean I know I had said I wanted to arrest some bad guys, but I liked it better when I was the only one with a gun.
‘No really.’ Bob looked up at them from his position on the ground. ‘The other men in the station won’t ride with me.’
It was an eloquent truth.
‘Won’t ride with him.’ The larger man laughed.
I was beginning to think he might be a bit dim-witted.
‘Why’s that fatty. Is it because your farts stink?’ He nudged Bob’s shoulder with his foot. ‘Is it because you’re a fat, little stinky porker.
He and his mate laughed again.
Dim-witted and just plain rude.
‘What’d happen if we put some holes in your piggy skin? Would they be upset?’
Awww, double shit. I’d been hoping they were just going to get the money and go away. But they were bullies.
I hated bullies.
Ever so gently, I lifted first one, then a second and third container of Pringles from the shelf.
I was going to have to be fast if this was to work. I doubted Bob would be able to get up in time to help me, and from what I could see, the petrol-station attendant was hiding behind the counter. I was hoping he had hit some sort of silent alert or something like that.
One… Two…
I lobbed the first Pringle can in a high arc over the men’s heads. They didn’t see it, but they certainly heard it as it crashed into the glass front door.
As they spun towards the door, I leapt out from behind the chips and sprinted towards them. I only had a few seconds before they realised I was behind them.
Bob flailed on the floor like some sort of beached sea creature as I launched the second can. It hit further along the store, spraying chocolate bars onto the floor.
The men spun towards the noise and the one with the gun squeezed off a round. The sound roared inside the tiny store.
Oh great. He was untrained and trigger happy.
He held the gun with his right hand, which put it on the far side of where I was. I was going to have to take him down to disarm him.
Bob had managed to roll onto his side and was pulling his legs up underneath himself when I leapt. It was a move I had seen in karate movies and it did the trick.
I jumped with one leg straight out in front of me, aiming low. I felt my foot crunch into the side of the big man’s knee. He let out a yelp and toppled towards me.
I landed in a crouch and launched my final Pringles can at the second man. It made a clunk as it smacked him in the forehead. He screamed and fell to his knees with his hands clutched over his face.
The big man might have had a broken knee, but he still also had a gun. I jumped over the top of him, coming down on his arm as he used it to try and halt his fall.
The crack his forearm made preceded his scream by a second. The gun fell from his fingers and I kicked it over to Bob.
I whipped my handcuffs off the back of my vest and cuffed the man’s good arm. Then I dragged him a metre to the nearest aisle and cuffed him to the bottom of the stand. It seemed cruel to attach a cuff to his broken arm.
‘Bloody hell.’ Sweat rolled down Bob’s face as he trained his gun on the smaller man.
I held my hand out to him. ‘May I please borrow your cuffs?’
‘May I please borrow your cuffs?’ A grin formed on his pudgy face. ‘May I please borrow your cuffs?’ He started to laugh. ‘Oh, that’s too good.’
I shook my head. ‘I’ll take that as a yes.’ Honestly, sometimes I just didn’t understand men.
He handed me his cuffs with his spare hand and I walked over to the man still clutching his face. ‘Do I have to hurt you?’ I asked.
His eyes were wide through the balaclava openings as he stared up at me. He was really more a kid than a man. He shook his head and placed his hands behind his back, turning so I could cuff him.
‘We’re going to need the paramedics,’ I said to Bob.
He nodded, holstered his gun and trotted out to the car.
The petrol station attendant popped up from behind the counter. He stared at the two men with his mouth open.
‘Has Bob finished choosing his donuts?’ I asked.
He shook his head.
‘Okay. Well just stick whatever you want in there. Oh, and I want a protein bar.’ I trotted back to the aisle and grabbed a peanut butter one. I had no idea how they managed to make peanut butter healthy, but the packaging said it was, so I was going with that.
I handed the attendant thirty dollars and went to stand beside the big man. His groans were becoming hard to ignore.
‘Hang in there,’ I said. ‘The paramedics are on their way.’
The little jangle announced Bob. I pulled a pair of disposable gloves out of my vest and took the plastic bag he held out to me.
The gun went into that one. I labelled it and sat it to the side.
Bob had started searching the kid, so I leaned over the big one. He let out a high-pitched squeal as I reached toward him. ‘Don’t let her touch me,’ he begged. It sounded like he might actually be crying.
I stood up and backed away. ‘Perhaps you should do this one as well.’
Bob gave me a grin as he dumped the contents of the kid’s pockets into another plastic bag. He handed it to me and I labelled it as he went through the big man’s pockets.
‘Bingo.’ He stood and turned to face me. In his hand he held a bag which housed multiple smaller bags full of crystals. ‘You said you wanted to take down a dealer.’
I took the bag from him. ‘What is it?’ The crystals were blue, and a little stone, the colour of a sapphire, was glued to the corner of the bag.
‘If it weren’t for the colour I’d say crystal meth.’ He took it back from me and slipped it into a larger bag with the rest of the man’s things.
Flashing lights drew my attention to the ambulance pulling into the petrol station. Another patrol car followed it.
A team was going to have to go to the hospital with the man, while we took the kid back for questioning.
Dave came in ahead of the paramedics. I could see Daniel out near the pumps, waving his arms at a car that had just pulled in.
‘Bloody hell,’ Dave said. ‘What happened here?’
‘They tried to rob the petrol station,’ I said. ‘Bob and I stopped them. This one,’ I nudged the bigger one with my foot, ‘has a couple of broken limbs. You’ll need to go with the paramedics.’
Dave let out a groan. It meant a long boring wait at the hospital. ‘You’re sure they’re broken?’
‘Pretty sure.’ I grimaced. ‘Okay, well, we’re going to take this one back to process.’ I crossed to the counter to retrieve the donut boxes. My thirty dollars sat on top, pinned down by my protein bar. ‘Oh,’ I said, ‘no, here.’ I pulled the money out and handed it back to the attendant.
‘Take them,’ he said. ‘And you can have free donuts and protein bars anytime you want them.’ He turned to Dave. ‘You should have seen her. It was incredible.’
I pocketed the money and the protein bar, grabbed the boxes and rushed for the front door. ‘Just doing my job,’ I called over my shoulder.
I hated how when a man did it, it was normal, but when a girl did it, it was incredible. Like we couldn’t do things as well as men.
Bob followed me out to the car. He held the kid’s cuffs in one hand and the evidence bags in the other.
‘Oh wait.’ I popped a box of donuts on top of the patrol car and took the other one back inside.
Dave had uncuffed the man and the paramedics were in the process of examining him.
‘Here.’ I held the second box of donuts out to Dave. ‘You might need these.’
‘And then she flew through the air. It was like something out of a karate movie.’ The attendant was talking to no one in particular.
I blushed and fled back out the door.
Bob had the kid in the back of the car and was sitting behind the wheel. Daniel hovered by the passenger door.
‘Hey,’ I said. ‘Left some donuts for you with Dave.’
‘Thanks.’ His right hand twitched towards his nose and then stopped.
‘Oh, wow.’ I reached out and touched his face. ‘No glasses. Looks great.’
‘Thanks.’ He looked down at his feet as he smiled. ‘So what happened in there? Bob said you whipped their arses into shape.’
I let out a laugh. ‘Bob’s funny. They tried to rob the joint. We stopped them.’
He looked back up at me and said, ‘I doubt it was that easy.’ His pale blue eyes crinkled at the corners. They no longer looked disproportional to the rest of his face.
‘You’ve got pretty eyes,’ I said. I’d never noticed that before.
He ducked his head and pulled the door open for me. ‘Thanks.’
‘Have fun at the hospital.’ I climbed into the car and he shut the door for me.
‘I don’t know nothin’ about them drugs,’ the kid in the back said.
I pivoted and stared back at him and he cringed into the far corner of the car. Bob had removed the balaclava and there was a red mark in the middle of his forehead. It was already starting to bruise.
‘What drugs?’ I said.
‘Those ones that Dick had. I know nothin’ about them.’
I looked at Bob and smiled. We had ourselves a right old chatty cat. This was going to be fun.
‘What’s your name?’ I looked back over my shoulder.
He pressed his lips together and folded his arms.
‘What’s your name?’ I used my scary voice as I pivoted and raised myself up in my seat.
‘Dylan,’ he squeaked. ‘Dylan O’Connor.’
Oh yes. This was going to be fun.
***
Trent was waiting for us when we got back. It wasn’t that he was hovering in the hallway, but that he appeared as soon as we led Dylan into an interview room.
‘What ya got?’ he asked.
‘Armed robbery attempt,’ Bob said. ‘And we found this on the one that’s on his way to hospital.’ He held out the evidence bag with the drugs in it.
Trent’s mouth pressed into a fine line as he squinted at the bag. Then, he nodded once and said, ‘Larry and Robert are going to take over from here.’
‘The detectives from The City Station?’ I asked.
‘They’re sharing their time between there and here till we get a detective of our own.’
‘Ah hah,’ I crowed. If we were getting another detective, it meant that Trent was staying right where he was. Ramy wasn’t coming back.
Trent looked at me and rolled his eyes. ‘You are so transparent Probationary Constable Smith.’
‘You won’t get to call me that for much longer.’ Another few months and I could drop the Probationary off my title.
‘I know. So I intend to make the most of it while I can.’ He flashed me a quick smile and then turned and headed back towards his office. ‘Detectives Garrison and Winters won’t be too long.’
‘Better hide the donuts,’ I said to Bob. Detectives were notorious for assuming that all food was there to be shared.
‘I can’t believe we don’t get to interview him.’ Bob scuffed at a dirty mark on the floor with his shoe. ‘We did all the heavy lifting.’
I shrugged. ‘Yeah. But think of the paperwork it’s saving us.’
‘Guess so.’ He locked the door to the interview room. ‘I was hoping to have a great story to tell Sasha. But I didn’t really do much.’
‘Are you kidding me?’ I fell into step next to him as we walked back to the office. ‘The way you distracted them was amazing.’
‘You think?’
‘You had a gun pointed at you and yet you were quick-witted enough to make them think you were alone.’
‘Yeah, I did do that, didn’t I?’ He reached out and pushed open the door. ‘Although I might leave out the bit about them saying I fart in the car.’
‘That might be a good idea,’ I said. ‘Nobody needs to think about farting this early in a relationship.’
***
Harry pulled the door to the penthouse open and swept me into a one-armed hug. ‘How’s my hero?’ he asked.
‘Hero?’ I returned his hug and then bent and unhooked the lead from Cocoa’s collar. He let out a bark and raced off into the apartment.
‘I’m great,’ I lied. Yesterday’s antics had taken my mind off Billy for an hour or so, but my thoughts had returned with a vengeance later. And then last night, waiting for the sound of a key in the front door, had been the longest of my entire existence.
I had lost count of the number of times I’d called his mobile and got the same annoying burbling sound. Each time had cranked my angst up another notch.
Another running session at the gym and a long walk with Cocoa had not helped one iota.
I followed him back into the kitchen where Mum was fussing over Cocoa. A leg of lamb she had been basting sat on the cooktop. It smelled delicious and reminded me that besides an apple I had found in the fridge that morning, I hadn’t eaten that day.
‘How’s my girl?’ Mum threw her arms open and rushed towards me.
‘Ummmm. Good.’ I accepted her hug suspiciously. It’s not that she was unaffectionate. It’s just the way she did it that had me on edge.
‘Everyone’s been ringing me to talk about it.’
I pushed away from her. ‘Talk about what?’
She grabbed my shoulders as she stared into my eyes. ‘You don’t know?’
‘No.’ I threw my arms in the air. ‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’
Cocoa let out a whine and clawed at the cupboard that housed the treats.
She practically trotted to the massive, teak dining room table. ‘Here.’ She held a newspaper out to me, shaking it when I didn’t immediately accept it.
I wasn’t quite sure I wanted to know what she was talking about, but I took the newspaper anyway. A quarter of the front page was taken up by a photo of me. Another quarter by the story.
‘Isn’t it wonderful?’ Mum clasped her hands and smiled, a cat with the canary in its mouth.
I groaned as I read the headline.
Constable Smith To The Rescue.
I was surprised they hadn’t photo-shopped a cape into the photo.
I looked up at Mum. ‘It’s Probationary Constable.’
She tutted and flicked her hands at me, urging me to read on.
I sped read through the article. It seemed Stan, the fuel station attendant from the night before, had been busy after we left. He waxed lyrical about my prowess through the entire article and by the end, I could feel the heat of the flames on my cheeks.
‘You’re a hero, Darling.’ Mum clasped me to her bosom.
‘Hero schmero. I was just doing my job. It was either that or wait for them to pick us both off.’ I walked over to the table and put the paper back down.
‘Says the hero.’ Mum let out a little laugh. ‘That’s your copy.’ She walked back into the kitchen as she said, ‘Where’s Billy?’
‘Working.’ I threw the word out there as nonchalantly as I could but it must have come off sounding a bit odd.
She paused in the act of reaching into Cocoa’s special treat jar and turned towards me. ‘Have you two kids had a fight?’
‘What?’
‘A fight. You know. An argument. A falling out.’
‘No. I mean why would you think that?’
‘Well. I know for a fact he’s not at work. Bruce told me he was sick.’
Ahhhh shit. Caught in my own web of deceit.
‘Here, love.’ Harry handed me a glass of champagne.
I took a sip and then met Mum’s eye which hadn’t moved from my face. ‘He is working.’ I shrugged. ‘Just not for Bruce.’
She stared at me for a moment more and then nodded.
‘What?’ I said. ‘That’s it?’
‘What do you want me to say?’
‘You would normally subject me to your own form of Spanish inquisition. Maybe water board me.’
She laughed and picked up the basting brush. ‘I’m not that bad.’ She painted lamb juice over the roast and then popped it back in the oven. ‘Anyway,’ she said, ‘Werner mentioned Billy might do some work for him.’
I could feel my blood pressure rising with my eyebrows. ‘He said what?’
‘Oops.’ Mum turned back to me. ‘It seems I’ve hit a raw nerve.’
‘Damned right you’ve hit a raw nerve. It seems everyone knew that my boyfriend was going to disappear except me.’
‘He just disappeared?’ Harry said. ‘That’s not like him.’
I walked into the lounge and sat on the couch. I placed my glass on the coffee table and then put my head between my knees.
All of a sudden, the pressure was too much. The pain too raw. The not knowing was unbearable. I wanted to scream, to punch, to break something.
I felt the tears form and fall as I concentrated on my breathing.
‘Hey.’ Harry’s hand started to rub circles on my back. ‘He’ll be okay. I know my boy.’
‘What if he’s not?’ I whispered. I looked up at him. ‘What if he gets hurt, or…?’ I couldn’t finish that sentence. I couldn’t imagine a world in which Billy’s perfection did not exist.
The couch shifted as Harry sank down beside me and pulled me into his arms. I resisted for a moment but it felt really good to have someone to confide in. And I knew that Harry was worried as well. I sagged against him and let the tears come.
‘I know my boy,’ Harry said again, ‘and I know one thing for sure. He will move heaven and earth to come home to you. When he looks at you, I can see that the way he feels about you, is the way I feel about your Mum.’
I blinked up at him through tear-filled eyes. His words rained through my fear, crystallising into the answer to the question that had been doing loops inside my head.
If the situation was reversed, Billy would not just be sitting there like some useless victim just hoping I came home. He would be moving heaven and earth to find me.
That knowledge gave me the strength I needed. It swam through my veins, strengthening my resolve.
I sat back up and picked up my glass. I didn’t care what Trent said. I didn’t care what Matt said. I would find Billy. I knew in my heart that he needed me, even if he didn’t know it.
‘Thanks Dad,’ I said. ‘It was just a bit of a shock that’s all.’
‘You’re welcome, Princess. Anytime you need to talk.’
I did need to talk, but just not to him. If I was going to do this I was going to need help. It was time to round up the troops.
***
Bruce was waiting when I got home. He leaned back in a foldout chair with his head resting against my door. A newspaper rested on his lap.
I ignored the newspaper. ‘You brought your own chair?’
He opened his eyes and looked at me. ‘Didn’t know how long you would be.’
‘I was at Mum’s.’
He nodded. ‘Yeah, she told me you were coming over. She also told me to get a paper.’ His face lit up as he waved it at me.
‘Yeah, yeah.’ I grabbed the paper off him. ‘I don’t know what all the hoo-ha is about. Anybody would have done the same.’
He stood and folded the chair, backing away to allow me to open the door. ‘You honestly believe that, don’t you?’
I stopped in the process of turning the key. ‘I don’t think it, I know it. The only reason they’re making such a big fuss is cause I’m a girl.’
‘And that annoys you, why?’
‘I find it condescending.’ I screwed my face up while I tried to put my emotions into words. ‘It’s like I’m being rewarded just for doing what’s expected of a guy. As if I don’t normally do my job as well as a man.’
He stared at me for a moment before saying, ‘You have the weirdest way of looking at the world.’
I stuck my tongue out at him and finished opening the door.
Cocoa stood on his hind legs, bouncing up and down until Bruce picked him up. ‘I swear he is becoming more of a sook,’ Bruce said.
‘Don’t I know it.’ I unlocked the door and pushed it open. Bruce followed me into the apartment. ‘Want a coffee?’
‘Thanks.’ He grabbed the kettle, filled it up and put it on to boil while I got the mugs down.
‘Who’s watching the club?’
‘Bianca.’
I spooned coffee into the mugs and got the milk out.
We didn’t speak again till we were seated on the couch with our coffees. He may have started the conversation with the stupid newspaper article, but I doubted that was why he had set up camp outside my door.
‘How bad is it?’ he asked. He bent and lifted Cocoa onto the couch. My little furball immediately climbed into my lap.
I smiled. It was nice not to be chastised for my poor behaviour over the last couple of days. ‘I’m not sure. All I know is that the Superintendent asked him to do a job. I don’t know what it is or how long it’s going to take.’ I paused and took a sip of my coffee. ‘I just know, though, that I need to find him. That he will need my help.’
I thought he might ridicule me and tell me to stay out of it like all the other men in my life. But Bruce was not like all the other men in my life.
‘You should never mess with a woman’s intuition.’ He reached across and took my hand.
I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘For not telling you sooner.’
‘Sometimes you’ve got to take time to process stuff.’ He shrugged. ‘I get that. So for now the story is that he’s sick?’
‘Yeah.’ I nodded.
‘Have you got any plans on how you will find him?’
‘No.’ I picked at a sharp nail on my left hand. ‘But I have a feeling that if I just put myself out there, it will come to me.’
‘Why do you figure that?’
I let out a slightly-crazed laugh. ‘Because it always has before.’
There was a knock on the door. Bruce hopped up and opened it and Martine, in her pole dancing dress, bustled in. I counted at least three different coloured feather boas wrapped around her neck.
‘What did I miss?’
I raised my eyebrows at Bruce.
‘What?’ he said. ‘You know you were going to tell her anyway.’
‘Coffee?’ I asked her.
‘Do you have any green tea?’
‘Green tea? Since when did you start drinking that?’
‘Oh, well.’ She tugged on one end of a feather boa. ‘Caffeine’s not that great for you, apparently.’
I dug around in my tiny pantry, finally emerging with a box of green tea I had bought months ago when I had been having trouble sleeping. I’d had one bag and then given it up as a bad idea.
Bruce was doing an admirable job of filling Martine in, so I popped one into a mug and put the kettle back on to boil.
‘Oh, she’s right,’ Martine said. ‘She’s a total shit magnet. It will come to her.’ She turned to me. ‘So you think he’s close?’
I paused to think. I hadn’t really considered the fact that he might not be in Sydney any more. ‘I think he’s close,’ I finally said. ‘Why else would Trent tell me to stay out of it?’
Martine nodded. ‘What are you going to do?’
‘I’m on nights tomorrow and the next day, so the most I can do in uniform is keep my eyes open. But after that I’ll start visiting some of the shadier clubs in the area.’
‘I’ll come with you.’
I bit my bottom lip and tried to think of a polite way to dissuade her. A six foot drag queen would stand out like a sore thumb. I was going to need to be inconspicuous.
There was another knock on the door.
I looked at Bruce. ‘Did you tell anyone else?’
‘Of course not.’ He placed his hand over his heart.
‘Who could it…?’ Billy. Maybe he’d lost his key.
I flew to the door. Yanking it open just as…. ‘Nick?’
My four foot eight sidekick had his clenched fist raised to knock on the door again.
‘Who did you think it would be?’ He pushed past me into the flat, towing a suitcase behind him. ‘Santa?’
‘Nicky?’ Martine let out a shriek and launched herself at the little man. She picked him up in a hug and shook him from side to side.
‘Put…me…down…you over-sized canary,’ he said as he beat at her with his fists.
She put him down and smoothed down his jumper with her hands. ‘It’s so good to see you.’
‘Pftttt. Thwwww.’ Nick spat a couple of feathers out of his mouth. ‘Oh, look what you’ve done.’ He gestured towards his feather-covered jumper. ‘I look like I’ve been in a drive-by pillow attack.’
It was unfortunate that he said the word attack at the same time that he threw his arms out.
Cocoa, who had been observing the newcomer with cocked ears and an uncertain tail, leapt into action.
His ears went back, his lip curled up and, with a ferocious growl, he launched himself off the couch.
‘No,’ I shrieked as his teeth snapped onto Nick’s arm.
‘Eeeeeeeeeeeh.’ Nick whirled on the spot and Cocoa hung on, streaming out like a chair swing ride at the local fair.
I made a grab for Cocoa and missed. ‘Stop,’ I yelled.
‘Get this vicious animal off me,’ Nick screamed.
‘He’s not vicious.’ I made another grab for Cocoa. ‘You need to stop so I can give him the command.’
‘Arghhhhhhhh. He’s killing me.’
This time I managed to catch Cocoa. ‘Release,’ I shrieked as the momentum of Nick’s arm carried me around. Cocoa let go and, still holding onto him, I flew across the room and crashed into the door.
‘Oh baby.’ I pulled at his beard to check his mouth. ‘Are you okay?’
He waved his tail and licked my face but I couldn’t be sure he wasn’t putting on a brave face.
‘Is he okay? Is HE okay?’ Nick held his arm out. ‘Look what he did to my jumper.’ A hole the size of Cocoa’s mouth gaped in the bottom half of Nick’s sleeve.
Martine tugged at it, poking her finger through and feeling around. ‘He didn’t even scratch you,’ she said.
‘Oh, and that makes it okay? You are so sizist.’ He stumped over to the couch and sat down.
‘Hi.’ Bruce held his hand out. ‘I’m Bruce.’
Nick took his hand. ‘Nick,’ he said.
I climbed to my feet and carried Cocoa back to the couch.
‘Don’t bring that animal near me.’ Nick waved his hands at me.
‘Oh, please.’ I sat down on the other side of Bruce and examined Cocoa’s face. ‘It was all your fault.’
‘My fault? My fault?’ His voice climbed an octave.
‘You told him to attack.’
‘Exactly when did I do that?’ He folded his arms across his chest.
‘Durrrr,’ I said. ‘You don’t go throwing your arms out in front of a police-trained dog and yelling attack.’
‘I…What…How….’ His jaw moved up and down a few more times but no sound came out. ‘Police trained?’
‘You did say attack,’ Martine said.
‘Oh, of course you’d take the dog’s side,’ Nick said.
‘Exactly what is that meant to mean?’ Martine huffed in a big breath of air and put her hands on her hips.
Nick poked his tongue out at her and she responded in like.
‘Is it always like this?’ Bruce asked.
I shrugged. ‘Pretty much.’
‘Oh goodie.’ He clapped his hands together. ‘This is going to be fun.’
‘Nick.’ I took my finger out of Cocoa’s mouth. I wasn’t sure how many teeth there were meant to be, but none seemed to be missing. ‘What are you doing here? Not that I’m not happy to see you,’ I threw in before he could take offence.
‘Billy rang. Said you needed a babysitter.’
‘He what?’ I peered around Bruce at Nick.
‘Yeah, he rang me yesterday morning and asked is I was doing anything. Then he said that the package I had looked after last time, needed to be watched again.’
I knew my mouth was open but I couldn’t seem to get it to shut again. Billy had asked Nick to come and guard me?
‘Anyways, I wasn’t doing anything else so I decided to come for a visit.’
‘What about work?’
He shrugged and stuck out his bottom lip. ‘Somebody found out I wasn’t five foot.’
‘Oh,’ I said. ‘I’m so sorry. You were a great police officer.’
He lowered his eyebrows and peered at me sideways, no doubt to see if I was taking the piss out of him. ‘One door closes and another opens.’
‘Am I the door?’ I asked.
‘What? No. I’m waiting for my Private Investigator’s Licence to come through.’ He picked some feathers off the front of his jumper and dropped them on the rug. ‘Anybody going to offer me a coffee?’
‘I’ll get it.’ Martine hopped up and put the jug on again. ‘I haven’t had my green tea yet.’ She looked over at Nick. ‘You sure you want coffee? You know drinking caffeine at this time of night has been shown to give you disturbed sleep patterns.’
‘Not me,’ Nick said. ‘I sleep like a baby.’ He looked around. ‘Speaking of sleeping, which way is my bed?’
‘Hmmmm.’ I looked at my nails. ‘You’re sitting on it.’
He looked down at the couch. ‘What? No way. I’ve come all this way to look after you, no way I’m on the couch.’
‘I didn’t ask you to.’ I crossed my arms.
‘And what with the trauma of being attacked by your vicious dog….’ He raised his eyebrows at me.
‘You wouldn’t dare.’
‘Just try me, Doll Face.’
I stared at him for a few seconds longer. ‘Oh fine,’ I spat out.
A night on the couch wasn’t going to kill me. I was going to be on nights for the next couple of evenings anyway. And we could re-have this conversation after that.
I stomped up the stairs and grabbed a pillow, my nightie and Cocoa’s bed. Then I took down the spare doona from the top of my wardrobe and stomped back down again.
Nick wore a triumphant smile. I would let him have his petty victory for now.
‘Here you go,’ Martine held a mug out to Nick.
‘Thanks, Big Bird.’
Martine looked like she was considering pouring the coffee over his head, but then she took a deep breath, pasted a saccharine smile on her face, and handed it to him.
Bruce looked at his watch. ‘I’d better head home,’ he said. ‘Got to do a stocktake tomorrow.’
‘Thanks for coming.’ I hugged him and then opened the door. ‘You’re the best gay friend a girl could ask for.’
He pinched my cheek and ruffled my hair. ‘And don’t you forget it.’
Martine stayed for a little longer, sipping her green tea out of a cup she held with her thumb and first finger. She led her little finger out to the side as if trying to be daintier.
‘Did you ever see that nurse from Hamilton Island again?’ I asked.
‘Nah.’ Nick drained the last of his coffee and put the mug on the table. ‘Didn’t want to break her heart so I never rang.’
‘Break her heart? Exactly how were you planning on doing that?’
‘Well you know, I’m a bit of a stud.’
Green tea spurted out of Martine’s mouth as she barked out a laugh.
Nick crossed his arms and turned to look at her.
‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘Just thought of something really funny that had nothing to do what-so-ever with what you just said.’
‘Hmmphhhh.’ Nick turned back to me, angling himself so that Martine was looking more at his back than his side.
‘Anyway it was just never going to work. Women can’t get enough of me and sooner or later her jealousy would have driven us apart.’
‘That’s a pretty big assumption,’ I said.
He leaned back in the couch and placed his arms behind his head. ‘Yeah, well, history does seem to repeat itself.’
Martine stood and placed her cup on the sink. ‘Got to go get some beauty sleep,’ she said.
‘Big Bird,’ Nick said, ‘even if you slept as long as Snow White you still wouldn’t be beautiful.’
Martine crossed her arms. ‘I take back what I said about it being good to see you.’ She tossed her feather boas back over one shoulder and spun towards the door. ‘Chat tomorrow, Chanel.’ She blew me a kiss and then exited the apartment, shutting the door a tiny bit harder than was her norm.
‘Anything you want to share?’ I raised my eyebrows and looked at Nick. ‘I mean that was pretty mean, even for you.’
He sunk lower into the couch but didn’t say anything.
‘Okay. Well, I’m going to have a shower and then I’m off to bed. Your bedroom is up the stairs. I’ll see you in the morning.’
I headed into the bathroom, had a shower and climbed into my nightie. Nick was upstairs by the time I came out. I could hear him throwing my pillows onto the floor.
‘Night, Nick,’ I called out.
He gave me a grunt in return which I took for a sleep well.
I put my pillow on the couch and lay down, pulling the doona over me. Cocoa, confused by the change in sleeping arrangements, stood looking between me and the stairs. But then he let out a huff and jumped up onto the couch, turning around a few times before settling with his head on my feet.
The couch was more comfortable than I had expected, and I was soon sound asleep.