I wasn’t sure how we got home. I know I drove, but I have no memory of the drive.
Climbing the two flights of stairs felt like climbing Mt Everest. I struggled to get my limbs to move.
Billy.
I unlocked the door to the apartment and pushed the door open.
‘Chanel.’ Mum jumped up from the couch and crossed to me. Harry looked over from where he was adding milk to mugs. ‘What happened? Why are you so dirty?’
‘Oh, Mum.’ I started to cry, and once I started I couldn’t stop.
She pulled me into her arms and rocked me as I sobbed.
‘Billy.’ I hiccupped. ‘Billy.’
‘What about Billy?’ Harry wrapped his arms around both of us but I could feel the tension in him.
‘He’s alive,’ Nick said. ‘He got shot. He’s undergoing surgery as we speak. We need to shower so we can go to the hospital. I’ll go first.’ He trotted up the stairs to the bedroom to get some clothes.
Mum pushed away and peered into my face. ‘Is he going to be okay?’
‘I’m not sure,’ I hiccupped around a sob. ‘I thought he was fine, but a stray bullet got him. And then he just collapsed. And there was so much blood. And I couldn’t stop it.’ I started to shake.
Harry walked me over to the couch and pushed me into it. ‘Tess,’ he said. ‘Can you make Chanel a cup of tea? Put plenty of sugar into it.’
He sat next to me and took my hand. ‘If I know anything about my boy,’ he said, ‘it’s that he’s a survivor. If anyone can make it through, he can.’
I nodded, staring at the floor, torn between wanting to remember my last moments with Billy, and wanting to forget them.
‘By the way,’ Harry said. ‘When we arrived there was a strange man tied up to your balustrading. ‘I hope you don’t mind but after reading your note we decided it best we call your friends at The Station. They came and took him, and urrrr, all the other stuff away.’
‘Thanks,’ I said. I wasn’t capable of dealing with Big Bad Ben right now. ‘What time did you get here?’
‘We came here instead of the airport.’
‘What about Spain?’ I looked up at him.
‘Pumpkin.’ He shook his head. ‘Do you really think we could leave not knowing if you and Billy were safe?’
I took a deep breath. I hadn’t looked at it from that point of view. ‘No,’ I said. ‘I’m sorry.’ I knew how much they had been looking forward to it.
‘We can go anytime,’ Harry said. ‘But today we get to be here for you two.’
Mum held a cup of tea out to me. I looked at it but didn’t take it. It felt selfish to be worrying about my own needs when Billy was hurt.
‘Drink it,’ she ordered. ‘You need to stay strong for Billy.’
I sighed and took it from her. The sugar made me shudder but I swallowed it. She was right. I needed to pull myself together.
‘Next,’ Nick called out as he came out of the bathroom. ‘You have no idea the places I just had to wash mud out of.’ He shook his head. ‘There was some inside the end of my pecker.’
‘Nick. Please.’ I took another sip of the overly-sweet tea.
‘What?’ he said. ‘I’m a man. I have a pecker. I can’t help it.’
I sighed and stood up from the couch.
‘Want me to heat you up some pizza?’ he asked.
‘No.’ I put the tea on the coffee table and headed for the bathroom. The thought of food made me feel sick.
‘You snooze, you lose,’ he said as he opened the fridge. ‘Harry, Tess, what about you?’
I shut the door before I heard their response.
Billy. How long had it been since he got to hospital? Was he still in surgery? Was he still alive?
I let the water wash away my tears with the mud as I sagged against the wall. I washed my hair and got as much mud out of the cracks and crevices of my body as I could. Nick hadn’t been exaggerating about that.
When I felt I was clean enough to be let in to see Billy, I hopped out and dried myself. A little more mud came off on the towel, but overall I had done a thorough job.
‘Chanel.’ Mum’s knock accompanied her voice. ‘I have some clothes here for you.’
‘Oh. Thanks.’ I opened the door wide enough to take them from her. ‘A dress?’ I held it up.
‘You want to look pretty for Billy don’t you?’
‘It might be hours before they let us see him.’ I had often seen people trying to sleep in the hard, plastic, waiting-room chairs. And it got cold in there if you were sitting still for too long.
‘Jeans,’ I said. ‘And a jumper, to go.’
She nodded and took the dress back off me. I towel-dried my hair and put on the underwear she had left. I pulled my hair back into a hair band and put some deodorant on.
She knocked again and I took the jeans and shirt from her. ‘Thanks.’ I slipped into them.
‘Right.’ I was feeling better now that I was clean. Or maybe it was the sugar. ‘Let’s go.’
Nick shoved the last of his pizza into his mouth while I dragged on my shoes. I grabbed my wallet out of my vest, transferred it to my handbag and then followed Mum and Harry out the door.
I stared out the cab window, ignoring the idle conversation happening around me. The cab driver was a chatterer, and I was incapable of chatting.
He dropped us off at the Prince of Wales Emergency Department. I marched through the doors and up to the reception counter.
‘A gunshot wound was brought in here about ninety minutes ago,’ I said. ‘Billy Milano. We are his family.’
The clerk nodded and looked at her computer monitor. ‘Take the lift to the second floor. Turn right as you exit and follow the hall, past the canteen, to the end. There’s another waiting room there. Ask the nurse on duty.’
‘Thanks.’ We followed her instructions and easily found the next station.
‘Billy Milano?’ I asked the nurse. ‘We were told to come here.’
She looked at her monitor. ‘He’s still in surgery love. Take a seat. I’ll let you know when news comes through.’
Still in surgery. It was better than some of the alternatives. I shook my head to dislodge the picture of Billy being zipped into a bag in the morgue.
‘Let’s sit down.’ Harry tugged on my arm.
I nodded and followed him to the chairs. They were as hard as they looked.
I sat with my head back as I stared at the clock on the wall. The big hand pointed at the twelve, while the smaller was on the one. I couldn’t believe it was only one o’clock. Only two and a half hours since we were lining up to start the Miss Muddy.
If I could go back, what would I do differently? How could I have stopped this? How could I have stopped Sally from shooting Billy?
If I had gone for that gun first, rather than give Billy mine, then he would have been unarmed against Luca. Would that have made things better or worse?
If I hadn’t tackled Billy, would he still have been standing in the exact spot that he was when the gun went off?
If I had tackled Sally, rather than go for the gun, then she wouldn’t have pinned me down. She wouldn’t have been trying to shoot me. Then Martine wouldn’t have hit her.
The day’s events went round and round in my head as the hands on the clock went round and round. I knocked back food, I knocked back coffee. I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep. But all I could think about was what I could have done differently.
‘Chanel.’
I opened my eyes and looked up at Trent. ‘Hey.’ I patted the seat next to me.
‘Your Mum asked me to give you this.’ He held a coffee out to me. ‘They’re down at the canteen.’
I stared at it for a second before taking it.
‘How is he?’ he asked as he sat.
‘Still in surgery.’ My voice broke a little on the word surgery, but I managed not to cry. He’d been in there for five hours.
He nodded and took a sip of his coffee.
‘How did it all go?’ I asked.
‘The Super is very pleased,’ he said. ‘They’re in the process of going through the warehouse offices at the moment.’
I nodded. They would be taking all the files and computers back for the detectives to go over.
‘What about, Gloria?’ I whispered her name.
He leaned back and stretched his legs out in front of him. ‘I was worried it might become a case of her word against Billy’s,’ he said. ‘But Sally Sparkles rolled over. Something about trying to avoid a murder charge.’
‘But…he’s not dead.’ The unspoken word ‘yet’ hung heavily in the air between us.
‘She didn’t know that.’ He shrugged. ‘And I didn’t feel the need to inform her. Anyway she identified Gloria from a photo. Said she had seen her and Christina together quite often.’
‘Game over.’ I took a sip of the hot liquid. It wasn’t bad for hospital coffee. ‘I’m sorry.’ I looked up at him.
He pulled a face. ‘Let’s consider it my rebound relationship.’
A woman in scrubs walked towards us. ‘Mrs Milano?’
‘Miss Milano.’ I sat up straight, wishing I could read her mind.
She smiled. ‘Billy is out of surgery.’
‘He’s okay?’ I sucked in a deep breath as I tried to control my suddenly trembling hands.
‘He came through surgery. His vitals are strong. He’s in recovery at the moment.’ She smiled at me. ‘Things are looking promising. We’ll come and get you when you can see him.’
‘Oh.’ I put the coffee on the seat next to me. ‘Oh.’ I put my hands over my face. He was going to make it. Billy was going to live.
This time is was tears of joy that rocked me.
‘Chanel?’ Mum trotted towards me. ‘What is it? Is it Billy?’
‘It’s okay, Tess.’ Trent held a hand out towards her. ‘Billy’s out of surgery and he’s doing well. Chanel’s just a little overwhelmed.’
‘Harry.’ Mum turned and jogged toward the canteen. ‘Harry. Billy’s out of surgery.’
Within the minute Nick, Harry and Mum were clustered around me asking for details.
Trent squeezed my hand and stood up. ‘Better get going,’ he said.
‘Stay,’ I said.
He smiled as he shook his head, his eyes straying to Mum. ‘I’ve got to get back to work. Keep me in the loop.’
‘Sure.’ I nodded. He was in enough pain over Gloria’s betrayal without me forcing him to be in the same room with Mum and Harry.
We waited for another hour before they came to get us. ‘He’s still unconscious,’ the nurse said. ‘But family members can come through.’
She eyed us all as we stood as a group. ‘You’re all family?’
‘I’m his father,’ Harry said. ‘This is his step-mum, his step-sister, and his step-brother.’ He gestured to each of us in turn.
‘Good enough for me.’ She shrugged and led us through the doors to the hospital rooms.
We followed her down a corridor to room three. ‘He’s in here,’ she said. ‘Let us know if he wakes up.’
‘The surgery?’ I asked.
‘The surgeon will fill you in when she comes to check on him.’
I pushed open the door and walked into the room. If not for the monitor tracking his heart rate, and the IV attached to his arm, Billy may have just been having an afternoon nap.
I pulled a seat up on one side of Billy, and Harry did the same on the other side. We each held a hand as Mum and Nick made themselves comfortable at the end of the room.
I couldn’t believe he was here. Couldn’t believe he was okay. The past seven hours felt like a nightmare that had been chased away by the morning light.
‘Hey, Billy,’ Harry said. ‘You gave us all quite a scare. It’s good to see you son.’
I squeezed Billy’s hand and leant over and kissed it. I placed my head on the bed next to it and closed my eyes. I wasn’t moving from there till he opened his eyes.
‘Chanel.’ Mum nudged me. ‘The doctor’s here.’
I started and sat up, rubbing at my eyes with my spare hand. The other still held Billy’s.
A woman stood at the end of Billy’s bed looking at his chart. She made some notes then hung it back up, clicking her pen and putting it into the pocket of her white coat.
‘How did the surgery go?’ Harry asked.
‘It went as well as could be expected,’ she said. ‘The bullet was lodged between one of his kidneys and his spine, so we had to go slowly.’
‘But, everything’s okay?’ I asked.
‘His kidneys are intact and his spine is undamaged. He was remarkably lucky. One inch to the left and he might not be able to walk.’ She smiled. ‘Our concern over the next twenty-four hours is internal bleeding.’
‘How will you know if that’s happening?’ Nick asked.
‘His blood pressure will drop and initially his heart beat will increase. Then it will weaken. Both are strong at the moment. I’ll be back in the morning to check on him. The nurses will page me if there are any changes.’ She paused as if waiting for us to ask her more questions. When we didn’t, she nodded once and left.
‘How long have I been asleep?’ I flexed my neck from side to side.
‘Two hours.’ Mum handed me a plate with a sandwich on it.
My stomach grumbled as I took it from her. ‘Thanks.’ I winced as I placed the plate on the bed. My hand had stiffened up while I’d slept.
‘What happened to your hand?’ Mum took it and turned it gently so she could look at it.
‘Sally Sparkles ground her heel into it,’ Nick said.
‘I’m surprised you saw that while you were being bitch-slapped by Christina,’ I replied.
He chuckled and gave me the finger.
‘You need an X-ray,’ Mum said. ‘It could be broken.’
I looked at it. It was bruised and swollen but it would have to wait. ‘After Billy wakes up.’ I picked up a sandwich and took a bite. ‘See. It still works.’
She sighed and ran her hand through her hair. ‘Do you want a coffee?’
‘Sure.’ I took another bite of the sandwich. The edges were a little stale but it was better than nothing.
‘I’ll come with you.’ Harry took her hand as they left the room.
‘Might go stretch my legs,’ Nick said. ‘Find the little boy’s room.’
I finished my sandwich as I looked at Billy. Then I stood and leaned over him so I could run my fingers through his thick hair.
‘I love you,’ I whispered. ‘For a while there I didn’t think I would get to tell you that again.’
I squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back.
‘Billy?’ I placed my hand on the side of his face. ‘Can you hear me?’
His eyelids fluttered and then I was staring into his chocolate-brown eyes. ‘Are you an angel?’ he whispered.
‘No. Billy, it’s me.’ I sniffed as tears ran down my face.
He reached up and cupped my cheek with the hand I wasn’t clinging to. ‘Hello, Me.’ He winced at the movement of his arm.
‘Careful,’ I said. ‘You’re all stitched up. I’ll go get the nurse.’
I made to go but he tightened his grip on my hand. ‘Chanel, wait.’ He stroked my face. ‘I need to tell you something.’
I pressed my face into his hand, enjoying the feeling of something I’d thought I’d never experience again.
‘I’ve missed you so much,’ he whispered.
‘That’s what you wanted to tell me?’
‘No.’ He shook his head, his eyes solemn as they held mine. ‘I wanted to tell you I never meant for any of this to happen.’
‘Nobody ever means to get shot.’
He smiled. ‘I mean this job. When Werner first asked me to do it, I said no.’
‘So….’ I frowned. ‘What changed?’
‘I didn’t go looking for it. It came to me.’
‘That day at Dazzle?’
He nodded. ‘If I hadn’t been there I hate to think what would have happened to Bruce.’ He closed his eyes. ‘I managed to convince them that Dazzle was not where their target market hung out. Carlos offered me a job. I took it because I saw it was the only way long term I could keep Dazzle safe.’ He opened his eyes again. ‘The only way I could keep you all safe. I was going to tell you but….’ He stopped and pulled a face.
‘What is it? Are you in pain?’
‘Only here.’ He tapped his left breast. ‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I wanted to, but I knew you would try to get involved and I didn’t want you anywhere near those thugs.’
I smiled. ‘Well, that plan worked out well.’
He tugged at my fingers. ‘With anyone else it might have.’ His eyes became serious. ‘If anything ever happened to you, I’d never forgive myself.’
‘Ditto.’ I leaned forwards and pressed my lips to his. ‘It’s all over. You can come back home now.’
He nodded. ‘It’s not enough,’ he said.
‘What do you mean?’
‘All of this has made me realise that each breath could be our last.’
‘Billy. That’s just the….’
‘Shhhhhh.’ He moved his hand so that his fingers sat over my lips. ‘Let me get this out.’
I nodded my head and he removed his fingers from my mouth.
‘Chanel. I don’t want to spend another day without you. But it’s not enough to be your partner, or your live-in boyfriend. I need to know that you are mine.’
‘I am yours.’
‘Good.’ He smiled as he put his hand back over my mouth. ‘Chanel Abigail Smith,’ he said, ‘I’ve loved you since the moment I first saw you with your manky fake tan.’
I smiled and opened my mouth to defend my tan, but the look on his face stopped me.
‘My love for you fills me up and gives me purpose.’ He shook his head and looked up at the ceiling. ‘I can’t imagine anything better than spending the rest of my life with you by my side.’ He turned towards me and stared into my eyes. ‘Chanel, will you do me the very great honour of becoming my wife?’
I felt my mouth moving against his hand even though no sound was emerging. He moved his hand and finally, one word made it past my larynx and out of my mouth. ‘Ooooooooh.’
THE END