Misunderstandings
Grace
I woke to a loud knocking on the door behind me. Somehow, I’d fallen asleep again, maybe because I wasn’t as superhuman as I’d like to believe. I scooted the chair to the side as quickly as I could, which meant it took me at least two minutes while the aggressive knock caused my adrenaline to spike past the safe levels of what a twenty-two-year-old should experience in such a short life.
I looked through the peephole and noticed two cameras and a few people speaking to each other loudly, including one guy with a boom mic.
The camera crew.
It was four a.m.
And I still needed to shower.
I jerked open the door and waved, then opened it wider as each of them started firing out different things in Korean.
“You guys are here.” I could not have chosen a more obvious blanket statement to use, but they seemed to understand enough for them to nod and make their way into the hallway.
The guy in front of the camera nodded toward Rae’s room and then gave me a little shove and made a motion to knock.
Okay, I could communicate this way. I made the motion again, all five of them nodded with wide smiles. See? Didn’t even need my handy language app!
“All right…” I knocked softly and took a step back, hoping I didn’t scare the guy with my bedhead and raccoon eyes.
When I looked over my shoulder, both cameras were on. Wasn’t I supposed to be behind the camera?
The door slowly inched open as Rae peered out with sleepy eyes and his hair all over the place.
He was also shirtless.
I kept my wide eyes straight ahead.
He took one look at me and slammed the door in my face amidst the laughter from the camera crew.
They made me do it to each shared room.
Waking all five of them.
And almost all the guys slept shirtless.
Which meant I was subjected to five perfect, shirtless, smooth men while I looked worse than a struggling college student surviving on day-old Pop-Tarts.
According to the schedule, we had until five to get ready before going to the studio. I abandoned the camera crew and sprinted into my room. I needed a shower at least… I didn’t mind wet hair, I could even just scrunch it a bit into a wave, giving every one of them a heart attack. I figured the most terrifying words to them had already been announced: “I only brought one dress.”
Imagine the horror.
Then again, it was probably a good thing I wouldn’t just be getting them coffee. I imagined next to my job description, it said: “They ask for it, you do it, no questions asked.”
I took a five-minute shower and quickly applied some foundation, a brush of lip gloss, mascara, and a nude shadow that would bring out the color of my eyes. I checked my Apple watch. I had around ten minutes to figure out my hair before getting dressed and grabbing something for breakfast.
I chose to just run my hands through it with some sea salt spray and blow-dry the roots so I wouldn’t freeze to death. I took a look in the mirror and smiled; at least it was a night and day difference from yesterday, I had color in my cheeks despite the lost sleep, and the bags under my eyes weren’t as noticeable.
I dashed into my room and grabbed a pair of ripped skinny jeans, Nike high tops, and a long-sleeve black shirt that had a few grunge holes purposely decorated around the midriff section, and then grabbed my favorite black moto jacket. At the last minute, I decided on a red beanie to pull over my messy hair since it still felt kind of wet, and the last thing I needed was to find myself sick in a foreign country with band members who weren’t necessarily the warmest to me.
I thought back to last night.
Rae would probably be the only one that would at least point me in the right direction if I needed medicine. Then again, after more reading, I found out what the earlier notes meant by he was the dad of the group. He kept harmony, kept everyone in line, and kept everyone happy! He was three years older than me and had probably seen his fair share of strange things in life, likely why he was warning me the night before.
I grabbed my small Kate Spade purse, crossed it over my shoulder, and locked the door to my room.
Laughter bounced off the walls as I made my way into the kitchen. The camera crew had stopped filming and were all in the corner talking while the guys sat at the bar, eating various breakfast foods, some of which appeared familiar while others looked like something that should have been eaten at dinner. I could have sworn I saw one of the guys eating raw fish with rice.
“Morning!” I announced, trying to go for a friendly yet casual opening as I walked over to the fridge. The minute my greeting was announced, Sookie started choking on his food. Rae hit him on the back, and chaos ensued as all the guys started talking at once and pointing at me.
Great, I had done something else wrong.
Sookie’s voice was strangled as he motioned to me and then motioned back to Rae and then his phone.
My outfit was either seriously offending them, or the fact that I touched the fridge was the one cardinal sin nobody had told me about.
“What’s wrong?” I made eye contact with Rae.
He smiled down at Sookie, who looked like he was blushing. The guy was adorable with his pierced ears and his light brown hair. He had an easy smile, and I loved that he was still in school; there was a sort of innocence about him that was extremely endearing.
“You bathed,” came Rae’s answer.
I glared.
He glared back and then smiled. “What?”
“Very funny. I didn’t have time yesterday!”
Sookie piped up with some rapid-fire Korean and nodded to Rae like he wanted him to translate. Rae gave him an increasingly annoyed look then looked over at me. “Sookie says you can’t eat his cereal.”
“Tell him that’s okay; I don’t eat Lucky Charms anymore. I’m not six.” I did a little curtsy.
Rae translated.
Sookie burst out laughing and slapped Rae on the shoulder like he wanted him to say something else. Rae sighed and spoke in English. “He says you’re funny.”
“I’m hilarious,” I clarified with heavy sarcasm, noticing that Kai, Lucas, and Seven, AKA Jay, had yet to say anything.
Lucas was staring into his mug as though it was telling him secrets while the others looked uncomfortable. Then he stood and mumbled something in Korean, earning a glare from Rae.
“Did I do something?” I asked softly.
Rae didn’t answer, just stared after Lucas and then flashed me an apologetic look while Jay fired off something and pointed at my beanie.
When I didn’t do anything, he pushed his stool back, made his way over to me, and pulled the beanie from my head then dropped it onto the counter before he left.
“No… hats?” I asked.
Rae smiled into his mug. “He wants to wear a beanie today.”
“You’re joking.”
“Wear it and find out.” He shrugged.
“Do I need to change my clothes?”
He seemed to think about that, and the remaining three guys looked me over from head to toe, then back up like I was there for their amusement.
“Never mind, don’t answer that.” I didn’t want to know that I was ugly or, according to them, fat or crazy. I just wanted breakfast.
I went back to the fridge just as someone clapped. All the guys started shuffling toward the camera crew, who looked ready to head out the door.
Panic washed over me.
Food.
What could I grab that would be—
Rae pushed me toward the door then held out a bar that had foreign writing in pink letters all over it. “Eat.”
I exhaled in relief. “Thank you.”
He looked down at me for a few seconds again, studying me or maybe just seeing if I was being genuine in saying thank you. “You’re welcome.”
The happy feeling in my stomach didn’t last long as we all made our way down the elevator and through the lobby.
It was early enough that I didn’t expect any screaming fans, but sadly I was mistaken. At least twenty girls were outside with signs, yelling, trying to get the guys’ attention, and being extremely aggressive about it. Security for the building was already opening the glass doors; the screams were piercing and a bit scary.
Couldn’t they digest their breakfast in peace?
The guys all smiled big and waved, many of them doing this little signal with their fingers that I had yet to decipher; I made a mental note to ask Rae later.
I was stunned at how gracious they appeared, how thankful that fans would come out at five a.m. just to see them off to choreography. How did they even have our top-secret schedule? Or were they just camping out all night long in hopes that they’d see one of the members of SWT?
It was alarmingly different from the States in a way that had my jaw dropping a bit.
The fans held out things to sign; Rae shook his head and said something about being late to practice in Korean then in English, possibly for my benefit? The girls started getting more aggressive. Without thinking, I shoved my way ahead of the security and camera crew, opened the other remaining door to the van, blocking off one of the girls and making it so the idols had a path to get into the van without getting groped. I didn’t think I’d ever seen a group of guys look so thankful in my entire life, as the camera crew followed suit, surrounding the guys and blocking them off from the girls.
The minute the doors closed, a shiver rippled through my body as one of the girls threw something at the van and started yelling.
I frowned and looked down to see that she’d crumpled up a shot of the band with Lucas’s face scribbled off in black marker.
I winced.
Lucas sighed and slid down in his seat, then pulled his wide-brimmed baseball hat over his eyes like he was sleeping, his body language stiff.
I wanted to know what the girl said to make him shut down like that, but I was afraid I already knew it had to be about the scandal. I suddenly wanted his laughter back from that morning, even if it meant it was at my expense like it had been the day before.
I didn’t know what to do, so I pulled up one of their music videos on my phone, making sure it was loud enough for them to hear I was actually studying them on my way to practice.
They were incredible.
Perfect sync.
Insane rapping.
My respect for Jay skyrocketed, as did my crush on the adorable Sookie, who had very slowly started to lean over my shoulder and watch the video. He started commenting in Korean, earning the attention of the other guys, who slowly but surely turned around to face in my direction.
When it was finished, I sighed and looked up. All eyes were on me, including Kai’s, like they wanted someone to say good job even though they heard it twenty-four seven.
I was nervous to try because I knew they’d make fun of me, but I said it anyway. “You guys are incredible.”
Rae inclined his head to me while Sookie took my phone, scrolled through to another video, and handed it back to me.
All right, I was making progress. I clicked on it and watched.
We repeated this process the entire way to practice.
And when I had to pause on their latest, I was disappointed. Then again, I was getting to watch this in real life.
I was more excited than I’d been in the past two days, but that all came crashing down when we got out of the van, and Kai shut the door in my face.
I knew it was on purpose because he saw me wait for him to get out first. I tried not to let the rejection sting, but it was hard knowing that even if I tried, he was going to be irritated.
I didn’t say anything, just opened the door again, shut it, and swore to myself that I would win him and everyone else over, no matter what it took.
I wasn’t just going to quit like the other interns. I was in this.
Besides, how hard could it be for an intern to watch them dance? At least I’d get to sit.
Two hours later…
“Coffee.” Rae handed me an order scribbled in Korean. “Everyone wants coffee. Have the driver take you to the nearest coffee shop, and don’t get the orders wrong.”
“Or else I’m fired?” I joked.
He chuckled low. Sweat was streaked across his face. They’d been doing nothing but rehearsing their choreography for the last two hours, and Sookie kept struggling with one of the dance sequences, meaning they had to start all over again from the top, which just annoyed Lucas further, made Kai sigh loudly, and caused Jay to throw a water bottle. Don’t get me wrong, they were super supportive of each other, but it seemed like everyone was feeling the pressure in a way that I could never possibly understand.
The dance was a complicated mess of hip hop, gymnastics, and a few spins that I think even Michael Jackson would have struggled with.
I was just turning away from Rae when Jay ran up to me and made a motion with his hands and nodded like I should know exactly what he’d just communicated.
I mimicked the motion and the word.
He shook his head.
I tried again.
The music started.
I could not get his order wrong!
“He wants cream!” Rae shouted.
“Ohhhhh…” I nodded to him. “For your coffee?”
His smirk was everything girls’ mothers warned them about in high school, the smirk that led them to do very bad things with boys who just wanted to hold their hands during skate time then make out in a dark corner later.
I gulped and moved away from him, and his little finger wave.
I was two days in, roughly, and already needing to find a way to jolt my heart back to normal condition.
I jogged from the room and out of the building. Thankfully the driver seemed to know what I was talking about when I said the word coffee.
Finally, a universal word everyone understood that didn’t make me sound like an idiot.
He drove me around the corner, and down maybe a mile, I noticed the small coffee shop and prayed I would be able to just hand over the order along with money.
The coffee shop looked identical to something I would see in the States, with the smell of freshly brewed coffee, pastries that looked to die for, and several small tables spread around the room. It had a nice-looking espresso machine and iPad for payment. I could do this.
They didn’t give me a company card, but I would ask later. They wanted coffee now; they were getting coffee.
I pulled out my Visa and did a little bow, “Annyeong.”
Hello was still the only word I’d managed not to butcher, and according to my trusty little app, it was used in almost every social situation. Thank God.
She smiled and repeated it back, plus a lot of other things that I didn’t understand.
I smiled and then pointed to the paper.
She nodded and took the list from me, carefully reading it and then typing in the orders.
So far, I was doing good.
I breathed a sigh of relief as she fired off in rapid Korean, “Uhsuhoseyo. Joomoonhashigessuhyo?”
I caught absolutely nothing.
I stared at her in wide-eyed panic and then tried. “English?”
She inclined her head and then held up four fingers.
“Yes!” I almost shouted. “Four, four macchiatos.”
Then like a toddler, I pointed to the large cups behind her.
Frowning, she nodded again slowly and typed it into her iPad, then said, “Duh pilyohashinguh essuhyo?”
Panic hit me.
That and insecurity.
What was she asking?
Slowly she licked her lips and said, “You need anything else?”
Her accent was slight.
I stared down at my shaking hands as someone got into line behind me; it was a nightmare. I held up one finger. “One Americano with cream.” I extended the rest of my fingers. “Five drinks total.”
“Cream?” she repeated.
Oh shit.
Was there another word for cream?
“Milk?” I asked.
She frowned. “You want just milk?”
Searing heat crept across my face as someone grumbled behind me. Did I just grab all the drinks and deal with it? I tried again, this time pointing at the steam wand. “Cream?”
“Cream in a cup?” she asked in confusion.
“No.”
“No?”
I felt the onslaught of tears and tried to focus. “One of the Americanos needs to have milk in it.”
“Ahhh…” She nodded. “Milk added to the drink.”
I apologized to the person behind me, who looked like he needed coffee more than I did, and I must have done something wrong again because he stepped back like I was crowding his space.
They really shouldn’t let me out of the building by myself yet—where was my friggin’ keeper?
I handed over my credit card and waited while the barista swiped it, then almost forgot to receive the card and my receipt with both hands, meaning I almost impaled her with my fists as I grabbed my things and gave a curt bow.
At least the barista smiled like it was just another day at the coffee shop where a crazy American looked willing to sell her kidney for a cup of coffee!
Five minutes later, and I not only managed to make it back to the studio in record time, but I was feeling marginally better about the exchange. It wasn’t horrible, and if I could just learn a few simple words, things would be so much easier.
Just one more thing to study at night—the language, otherwise I wasn’t going to be helpful at all, and I’d end up returning home with a hunch in my back from all the stress—and even though I was on the fence about kids, I really did want a boyfriend.
The van pulled up to the curb; I hopped out and walked as fast as I could through the revolving door.
I felt triumphant as I walked back into practice, only to notice that every single one of the guys was on a break and drinking coffee.
Not my coffee.
Starbucks.
Tears stung my eyes as I made eye contact or attempted to make eye contact with each of the group members. I thought we were getting along. What happened? And why?
Rae sighed and slowly walked over to me; his red sneakers made a screeching noise against the wood floor. “Lucas had some delivered because you were taking so long.”
Embarrassed, I lowered my head so I wouldn’t have to look at him or anyone else. “I struggled with my order.”
“Looks like you got it right,” he whispered kindly.
“Yeah, well…” I forced a smile and looked up. “I guess I’ll just be drinking coffee for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, no big deal.”
“That”—he shook his head—“seems like a really bad idea for someone who already has enough energy to stay up all night and spy on Lucas.”
I frowned. “I didn’t mean to—”
“Give him his privacy. He’s in a bad place right now. Next time pretend you don’t hear anything, and he might start being nice to you.”
“So basically, be invisible,” I whispered, wondering why the words hurt so much to say out loud. Why did it matter? Was it because I was lonely? In a foreign country all by myself? Embarrassed?
Or just all of the above?
“I’m not sure that’s possible.” He reached for me, then dropped his hand and grabbed one of the Americanos even though he already had one in his other hand.
It was kindness like that which made me like him. One minute he was scolding me in a way that was gentle but firm, the next minute, he was saving me, it seemed, from myself.
I walked off and put the coffees on a nearby table, then sat on the chair next to it.
Every single guy finished his coffee, threw it away in the trash, then walked over and grabbed one that I bought, following suit, each of them repeating, “Gamsahapnida” or thank you. All except one.
Shocker.
Lucas walked over to the trash, dumped his, then grabbed the last remaining macchiato and threw it away, never once breaking eye contact with me like he wanted me to see him do it and wanted me to be hurt by it.
I smiled at him and looked away.
And could have sworn my lack of response made his entire body jerk toward me like he wanted me to be angry at him.
Maybe that was what he wanted.
Something to feed his anger. But all I had in me was a compliment. “I liked your voice.”
Even if he didn’t understand it.
It was all I had.