Moment of truth…
Grace
Super fun, being rejected by Rae, even though there was nothing to reject. Still, it didn’t feel awesome.
Nor did Lucas’s look of pity lessen the blow.
Note to self: no more soju.
No more relying solely on Rae either, considering I’d apparently been annoying him this entire time.
I still wasn’t completely sure how I even got back to the apartment and onto the couch, let alone covered in a blanket that wasn’t mine. I did have the best dream though, I was lying there, and Lucas was on top of me, his face close to mine, and I remembered just wanting to hold him close because he was so warm and smelled so good, then felt like an idiot when I later woke up and he was on the floor like he’d just tripped over my massive body.
I took a deep breath. I still had my pride, right?
Maybe?
And at least Lucas didn’t throw away his coffee.
Rae hadn’t said more than a few words to me. He either felt bad, or he was just as embarrassed as I was.
Jay at least seemed to be attempting to crack jokes during rehearsal, but all bets were off once we got to Idol Variety.
Everyone suddenly got uber-serious, even though the set looked really fun. I tried not to gape as different idols arrived from other groups, all of them beautiful and larger than life.
I honestly needed to take notes on some killer skin care routines because I was clearly lacking and dehydrated from the night before.
I yawned behind my hand and chugged down more Iced Americano while the guys finished up with makeup and wardrobe.
Staff ran around attempting to get everyone ready and in their spots. It was fascinating; I tried to blend into the back and was thankful again that I looked the part, even though I felt like a giant imposter as people got the stage ready.
It looked like a normal classroom setting, with desks and everything. In fact, it was super cute and made me smile. I knew that some of SWT’s videos were a bit on the intense sexy side, whereas this made them look more approachable. There had to be a marketing plan along with it, and I made a mental note to ask one of them or Solia later—if she returned my texts after being annoyed this morning.
How was it my fault they were messing up the routine?
A little alarm sounded like a quiet ding-dong you’d hear at an old suburban household. SWT, wearing cute red and white school uniforms, made their way onto the stage and sat in desks, followed by another three-member guy group, who looked very young, as in, might still be in high school and just debuted, young.
A girl in a short red skirt and red jacket followed. She was stunningly gorgeous with her thigh-high white socks and cute boots—I tried not to stare, but it was near impossible, and it must have been a theme because the three young guys immediately blushed when they saw her walk on stage and sit in her chair.
How did she not flash ass cheek to everyone?
Everyone had a different sort of duffel bag next to their desks. Lucas was directly in front of her.
She yawned, then leaned down and touched the zipper on his bag, and shoved something inside.
I was about to say something when filming started.
What had she put in there?
“We’re late. Again,” Solia said suddenly.
I jumped. “When did you get here?”
“I’ve been here for five minutes standing next to you. Distracted?” A perfectly penciled brow arched. “They don’t look as tired. Makeup did a good job.”
“Yeah.” I couldn’t relax. “Who’s that girl behind Lucas?”
Solia made a face. “Chae-Won?” Her shoulders stiffened. “She debuted at another label two years before SWT. She’s…” Solia seemed to be searching for a word as her lips pressed together in annoyance. “Spoiled.”
“Oh.” Apparently, I wasn’t going to get any other information.
“She shot a drama with Lucas two years ago. There were a lot of dating rumors—none of them true, but most netizens want them together so much that it would be national news.”
Well, that wasn’t comforting since she’d just slipped something into his bag. Chill, Grace, it could be a love note. A piece of gum? It could be part of the show. I relaxed instantly.
I was being protective of someone who didn’t even like me.
It would be fine.
“Make sure they’re ready for the next interview once they’re done. They have two more just down the hall. Makeup will touch them up, but they’ll keep the uniforms on.”
“Got it.” I clutched my ever-growing bag to my chest.
“Good.” Solia examined her nails then looked over to me. “You should really go shopping soon.” Granted, I knew she had her plate full with the group, and I was just the grunt worker but would it kill her to be nicer?
I wanted to scream. Sure, yeah, in all my free time.
“I’m running a lot for the guys. I don’t need anything fancy.” Plus, if I had heels, I’d be tempted to use them as a weapon when girls like Solia gave me nasty looks.
I smiled sweetly.
“Suit yourself.” She sauntered off while I gritted my teeth and watched the show.
They didn’t cut a lot.
In fact, a lot of the outtakes I’d have thought the director wouldn’t want to keep—they did, which was interesting compared to US TV. I’d only been on set once in the States, and it was for a reality show I was an extra in.
That had been the most boring day of my life.
And it was nothing like this.
I found myself laughing several times as people went through their own bags and did a “What’s in your bag?” challenge.
Sookie had a brownie he’d most likely hidden, which just endeared him more as people laughed around him. Cologne followed, then a brush, a face mask, his phone, typical things that would be seen in a high school kid’s bag.
Everyone else was pretty similar.
And then it came time for Chae-Won. She pressed her perfectly manicured hand against her chest and laughed, tossing her hair over her shoulder. Ah, so she was one of those who had perfected the hair toss.
Not jealous at all.
My jaw hurt.
I needed to stop clenching my teeth, but the more she spoke, even though I couldn’t understand her, the more annoyed I got with how much she laughed at herself and covered her mouth with her hand like she was embarrassed at how funny she was.
And everyone—I do mean everyone—on set was eating it up like she was next in line for the British Monarchy.
Seriously?
Even SWT seemed to join in.
Sookie had stars in his eyes.
Kai was flirty toward her, constantly finding reasons to touch her.
Jay’s laugh was infectious, so much so that even though I was annoyed as she pulled things out of her bag: perfume, an iPad, more perfume, lip gloss.
I found myself smiling.
She had a worn paperback that she set out next as her expression turned serious. I was surprised the place didn’t break out into applause. One of the PAs literally wiped their cheeks like they were moved emotionally.
What the hell was going on?
I shifted from my right foot to my left as she finished pulling out tissues. Huh, that must have made people happy too, as she made a little heart expression with her fingers and smiled at the camera like the cutest girl in the world.
What was this horrible feeling in my chest as my guys—I mean SWT—just hung on her every word?
The only person who smiled politely was Rae. My heart tightened a bit at his expression went from her then flickered toward the audience—toward me.
No, I wasn’t going to let him just say sorry. What he’d said earlier was hurtful and totally inappropriate, all things considered. I mean, had I been somehow sending mixed signals? Just because I thought he was beautiful—like every other SWT member—didn’t mean I was throwing myself at him or even attempting to.
It was borderline insulting.
The more I thought about it, the sicker I felt to my stomach. Did they all feel that way? That I was just this easy girl who wanted every single one of them? Or were they just so used to it they assumed any female, or male for that matter, with eyes, was attracted and wanted something from them?
I looked away from Rae, purposely focusing on someone else. Sadly, that someone else just happened to be Lucas—I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t flutter despite his intense dislike of me. Why was it always the ones who didn’t like someone that made the heart act like an idiot?
He was scowling while everyone else was laughing. Big surprise there.
Rae went next. I honestly expected him to pull out a tie or something for when he retired and entered the workforce as an accountant. Not that he was boring; he just seemed so serious most of the time. Instead, he had things like lip gloss, an old history book he carried from his trainee days when he’d had to study late at night—super endearing.
He also had protein bars and other snacks, which made me smile. At least he ate.
Lucas was last.
With a forced smile that still managed to be sexy, he dropped his bag onto his desk and started pulling out items.
A notebook.
Two different types of pencils, and a black sharpie.
The guys teased him, or it appeared they did, and Chae-Won used almost every single second of the taping to touch him as he pulled things out. He had an extra beanie in the bag, a shirt for after practices, body spray, a toothbrush, and then his hand grabbed something. Nostrils flaring, he gave the bag a shake and pulled his hand out. As if to say that’s it.
Chae-Won leaned over, attempting to peer into his bag. She even reached for it, but he jerked it away and held it tight, smiling at the host.
They ended minutes later, and everyone bowed to each other politely—everyone but Lucas, who pulled Chae-Won by the arm once she was off the stage and into the hallway.
Where were they going?
I shot Rae a panicked look, but he was busy talking to the host, and the other guys had made their way over to a snack table, leaving me the only stalker in residence.
Solia wasn’t around.
Did I follow them?
All I kept thinking was scandal.
And the kissing scandal.
And the fact that he was alone with this flirty girl, who everyone seemed to worship. It truly wasn’t my business at all, but I couldn’t let anyone find them alone. Even if they were just talking, it didn’t look good.
Great, crazy loud Grace to the rescue.
I power-walked in front of the stage and entered the hallway they’d disappeared into. Hushed voices sounded to my right. I slowly crept down the darkened hallway and stopped when they picked up.
“What the hell are you doing?” It sounded like Lucas, but Lucas didn’t speak English. Had I followed the wrong voice?
“Oh, please.” The girl’s high-pitched voice definitely sounded like Chae-Won, but that made zero sense.
Paralyzed, I eavesdropped more.
“It was a joke!” She laughed. Yup, totally her; it was the same laugh. But was she with Lucas?
No. I refused to believe it.
And yet, my feet were rooted to the ground, unable to take me in any direction even if I wanted them to.
“It’s not funny. Do you even realize how bad that could have been? It was one time, and it was a mistake, you know that.” He said something in Korean that had her gasping. Then he added, “Seriously, it’s over.”
“I disagree,” she said in a haughty voice. “You know I could help salvage your career from the shithole it just took a dive into. Just let me help. We’ll say we’ve been dating, I’ll express my outrage, we’ll show the picture of us kissing, and all—”
He must have cut her off.
Silence followed.
My heart strained against my chest as an almost nervous ringing filled my ears.
“No,” he finally said again. “I told you before, it was a mistake; we were a mistake. I need to focus on the group right now. You should know that better than anyone.”
The sound of someone getting slapped was unmistakable. “Don’t you dare bring that up!”
“Why?” His voice was amused. “Do you feel guilty for making it impossible for your group to have a comeback?”
“You’re such an asshole,” she hissed.
“Yeah well, just another reason why it would never work.”
“You’ll change your mind… you better hope I’m around to save your sorry ass when you do.” Footsteps sounded. Thankfully, she strutted off in the opposite direction, leaving me leaning against the wall feeling like I’d just witnessed some TV drama.
English. He was fluent in it. There was a good reason he never spoke English in front of me, though, right? I told myself it wasn’t because he was just messing with my head, and then my head told my heart it was dumb to be sad that he’d been involved with such a witch.
Instead, everything failed.
Completely.
Numb, I waited for him to come out, clutching my bag to my chest. It sounded like he was cursing to himself again, though I still didn’t know all the good Korean curse words. I smiled sadly to myself. Maybe I’d ask Rae later today, so I knew just what Lucas was saying when he was pissed off and didn’t want me to know it.
It was maybe two minutes later when Lucas came out of the room and headed in my direction.
In three, two, one.
He stopped in his tracks, his eyes widened, lips parted like he had some sort of worthy excuse.
Schooling my expression, I just said, “You have an interview in ten, don’t be late.”
Shaking, I turned around and started walking back toward the studio.
“Grace.”
Ugh, he was saying my name, and I both loved and hated him for it. Livid, I just kept walking.
“Grace, wait, I can explain—”
“I doubt it,” I called over my shoulder. “Check in with makeup before you join everyone, and I know I don’t have to remind you how important it is that you stay clear of scandals before the Showcase. If you need more security, let me know.”
And just like that, I left him.
Went into the bathroom.
And wiped away two stupid tears that found their way down my cheeks.
I was hurt.
I felt embarrassed.
Mocked.
Stupid.
And what was worse?
Every single member of SWT knew he was toying with me, and nobody… nobody had come to my defense.