Chapter 4

Making New Friends and Enjoying Small Talk

In This Chapter

Using informal and formal versions of you

Knowing phrases for hello and goodbye

Introducing yourself and others

Chatting about your life

Greetings and introductions in Russian are a bit more formal than in English. If you greet somebody correctly in Russian, that person is impressed and probably wants to get to know you better. If, however, you botch your greeting, you may get a funny look or even offend the person you’re addressing.

In this chapter, we give you details on how to make your best first impression and then make small talk with your new friends.

To Whom Am I Speaking? Being Informal or Formal

When you want to say “hello” in Russian, it’s important to know who you’re talking to first. Unlike in English (but similar to French, German, or Spanish, for example), Russian uses two different words for the word you — informal ty (tih) and formal vy (vih).

Here’s how to know when to use which form of you:

In Russian, you’re allowed to use the informal ty only when you’re speaking to your parents, grandparents, siblings, children, and close friends.

The formal vy is used in more formal situations when you talk to your boss, acquaintances, older people, or people you don’t know very well, and any time you’re speaking to more than one person.

As you get to know somebody better, you may switch to the informal ty. You even have a way of asking a person whether he or she is ready to switch to ty: Mozhno na ty? (Mozh-nuh nah tih?; May I call you informal you?) If the answer is da! (dah; yes), then you’re free to start calling the person ty. If, however, the answer is nyet! (n’eht; no), you’d better wait until the person feels more comfortable with you!

Comings and Goings: Saying Hello and Goodbye

Greetings and goodbyes are essential Russian phrases to know — because they’re the start and finish of every conversation.

Saying hello to different people

To greet one person with whom you’re on informal ty (tih) terms, use the word zdravstvuj (zdrah-stvooy; hello). To greet a person with whom you’re on formal vy (vih) terms or to address more than one person, use the longer word, zdravstvujtye (zdrah-stvooy-t’eh; hello). Note that the first letter v in zdravstvujtye is silent. Otherwise, it would be hard even for Russians to pronounce!

The informal way of saying “hello” in Russian is privyet! (pree-v’eht). It’s similar to the English hi, and you should be on pretty familiar terms with a person before you use this greeting.

Here are some other ways to greet people, depending on what time of day it is:

Dobroye utro! (dohb-ruh-eh oo-truh!;Good morning!): This is the greeting you use in the morning — until noon.

Dobryj dyen’! (dohb-rihy d’ehn’!; Good afternoon!): This is the greeting you can use most of the day, except for early in the morning or late at night.

Dobryj vyechyer! (dohb–rihy v’eh-ch’ehr! Good evening!): This is the greeting you would most likely use in the evening.

Handling “How are you?”

Here are the easiest and most popular ways to ask “How are you?”:

Kak dyela? (kahk dee-lah?): You use this phrase in rather informal settings.

Kak vy pozhivayetye? (kahk vih puh-zhih-vah-eh-t’eh?): You use this phrase when speaking with your boss or somebody you’ve just met.

Here are some way to reply to Kak dyela?:

Khorosho (khuh-rah-shoh; good)

Normal’no (nahr-mahl’-nuh; normal or okay)

Nichyego (nee-chee-voh; so-so [literally: nothing])

Nyeplokho (nee-ploh-khuh; not bad)

Pryekrasno! (pree-krahs-nuh!; wonderful)

Vyelikolyepno! (vee-lee-kah-l’ehp-nuh!; terrific)

Although optimistic Americans don’t hesitate to say “terrific” or “wonderful,” Russians are usually more reserved. To be on the safe side, just say either Nichyego or Nyeplokho.

But don’t stop there! Be sure to ask the person how she’s doing. You simply say A u vas? (ah oo vahs?; And you? [formal]) If you want to be less formal, you say A u tyebya? (ah oo tee-b’ah?; And you?)

Taking your leave

The usual way to say “goodbye” in almost any situation is Do svidaniya! (duh svee-dah-nee-uh!), which literally means “’Til (the next) meeting.” If you’re on informal terms with somebody, you may also say Poka (pah-kah; bye or see you later).

The phrase you use while leave-taking in the evening or just before bed is Spokojnoj nochi (spah-kohy-nuhy noh-chee; Good night). The phrase works both for formal and informal situations.

Break the Ice: Making Introductions

Making a good first impression is important for the beginning of any relationship. This section shows you phrases to use when getting acquainted with someone, how to ask for somebody’s name, and the best way to introduce your friends to new people.

Getting acquainted

In English, introducing yourself is the best way to start a conversation with somebody you don’t know. Not so in Russian. Russians like to begin with first suggesting to get acquainted. They have two ways to say this:

Davajtye poznakomimsya! (duh-vahy-t’eh puhz-nuh- koh-meem-suh!; Let’s get acquainted!), when addressing a person formally or two or more people

Davaj poznakomimsya! (duh-vahy puhz-nuh koh-meem-suh!; Let’s get acquainted!), when addressing a person informally

If somebody says one of these phrases to you, you should politely accept the suggestion by saying:

Davajtye! (duh-vahy-t’eh!; Okay! [literally: Let’s!]), when addressing a person formally or two or more people

Davaj! (duh-vahy!; Okay! [literally: Let’s!]), when addressing a person informally

Asking for people’s names and introducing yourself

The formal version of “What is your name?” is Kak vas zovut? (kahk vahz zah-voot?; literally: What do they call you?). The informal version of “What is your name?” is Kak tyebya zovut? (kahk tee-b’ah zah-voot?; literally: What do they call you?). To introduce yourself in Russian, just say Myenya zovut (Mee-n’ah zah-voot) + your name.

After you’re introduced to someone, you may want to say, “Nice to meet you.” In Russian you say ochyen’ priyatno (oh-cheen’ pree-yat-nuh; literally: very pleasant). The person you’ve been introduced to may then reply mnye tozhye (mnye toh-zheh; same here). You use the phrases ochyen’ priyatno and mnye tozhye in both formal and informal situations.

Saying names in Russian is a bit more complicated than in English because Russians use the patronymic (father’s name) right after the first name. The patronymic usually has the ending –vich (veech), meaning “son of,” or –ovna (ohv-nuh), meaning “daughter of.” For example, a man named Boris, whose father’s name is Ivan, would be known as Boris Ivanovich (Ivanovich is the patronymic). A woman named Anna whose father’s name is Ivan would be known as Anna Ivanovna (Ivanovna is the patronymic). A Russian almost never formally addresses a person named Mikhail as just “Mikhail” but rather as “Mikhail” plus his patronymic with the suffix –vich (for instance, “Mikhail Nikolayevich” or “Mikhail Borisovich”).

Men’s last names and women’s last names have different endings. That’s because Russian last names have genders. Although most Russian male last names have the ending –ov (of), female names take the ending –ova (ohv-nuh). Imagine that your new acquaintance, Anna Ivanova, is a married woman. Her husband’s last name isn’t Ivanova (ee-vuh-noh-vuh), but Ivanov (ee-vuh-nof).

Introducing your friends and family

Everyday, common introductions are easy in Russian. When you want to introduce your friends, all you need to say is Eto . . . (eh-tuh . . . ; This is . . .). Then you simply add the name of the person.

To indicate that the person is an acquaintance or a colleague, you say one of two things:

If the person is a man, you say Eto moj znakomyj (eh-tuh mohy znuh-koh-mihy; This is my acquaintance).

If the person is a woman, you say Eto moya znakomaya (eh-tuh mah-ya znuh-koh-muh-yuh; This is my acquaintance).

Let Me Tell You Something: Talking about Yourself

What do people talk about when they first meet? The topics are highly predictable: You usually talk about yourself.

Stating where you’re from

To start the conversation, you can say Otkuda vy? (aht-koo-duh vih?; Where are you from?). To answer, you can say:

Ya iz Amyeriki (ya eez uh-mye-ree-kee; I am from America)

Ya zhivu v Amyerikye (ya zhih-voo v uh-meh-ree-k’eh; I live in America)

After a Russian finds out your country of origin, he may ask you where in the country you’re from (such as a city or a state). You may hear questions like

V kakom shtatye vy zhivyote? (f kuh-kohm shtah-t’eh vih zhih-vyo-t’eh?; What state do you live in?)

Vy iz kakogo goroda? (vih eez kuh-koh-vuh goh-ruh-duh?; What city are you from?)

You can answer:

Ya zhivu v Siyetlye (ya zhih-voo f see-yet-l’eh; I live in Seattle)

Ya iz Siyetla (ya ees see-yet-luh; I am from Seattle)

Notice that when the preposition v is followed by a noun beginning with an unvoiced consonant, it’s pronounced like f, not v, and when the preposition iz is followed by a noun beginning with an unvoiced consonant, it’s pronounced ees, not eez.

When you say Ya zhivu v . . . (ya zhih-voo v . . . ; I live in . . .), use the word describing the place where you live in the prepositional case, because the preposition v (in) takes that case. When saying Ya iz . . . (ya eez . . . ; I am from . . .), use the next word in the genitive case because the preposition iz (eez; from) requires genitive.

Telling your age

To inquire about someone’s vozrast (vohz-ruhst; age) in Russian, you ask one of two questions:

Skol’ko tyebye lyet? (skohl’-kuh tee-b’eh l’eht?; How old are you? [informal])

Skol’ko vam lyet? (skohl’-kuh vahm l’eht; How old are you? [formal])

Answering isn’t as simple as you may think. First of all, in Russia, age is seen as something that happens to you, something you can’t control (and this is, after all, very true). That’s why, instead of using the subject in the nominative case, Russian uses the dative form of the person whose age is being described. In Russian you say literally “To me is 23 years old.”

The second tricky part of talking about your age is that the translation of the word year(s) depends on how old you are. This is how it works:

If you’re 1, 21, or 31 years old (in other words, if the numeral indicating your age is 1 or ends in 1), use the word god (goht; year), as in Mnye dvadtsat’ odin god (mnye dvaht-tsuht’ ah-deen goht; I am twenty-one years old).

If the numeral denoting your age ends in a 2, 3, or 4, use the word goda (goh-duh; years), as in Mnye dvadsat’ dva goda (mnye dvaht-tsuht’ dvah goh-duh; I am twenty-two years old).

If the numeral denoting your age ends in 5, use the word lyet, as in Mnye dvadsat’ pyat’ lyet (mn’eh dvaht-tsuht’ p’aht’ l’eht; I am twenty-five years old).

If the numeral denoting your age ends in a 6, 7, 8, or 9, or if your age is 10 through 20, use the word lyet, as in Mnye dvadsat’ syem’ lyet (mn’eh dvaht-tsuht’ s’ehm’ l’eht; I am twenty-seven years old).

Talking about Family

Family is a big part of Russian culture, so your Russian acquaintances will certainly be curious about yours.

Beginning with basic terms for family members

Your best bet is just to talk about the members of your family with your new Russian friend, using the following words:

mat’ (maht’; mother)

otyets (ah-t’ehts; father)

rodityeli (rah-dee-t’eh-lee; parents)

syn (sihn; son)

synovya (sih-nah-v’ya; sons)

doch’ (dohch’; daughter)

dochri (doh-chee-ree; daughters)

zhyena (zhih-nah; wife)

muzh (moosh; husband)

brat (braht; brother)

brat’ya (brah-t’yuh; brothers)

syestra (sees-trah; sister)

syostry (syos-trih; sisters)

ryebyonok (ree-byo-nuhk; child)

dyeti (d’eh-tee; children)

babushka (bah-boosh-kuh; grandmother)

dyedushka (d’eh-doosh-kuh; grandfather)

babushka i dyedushka (bah-boosh-kuh ee d’eh-doosh-kuh; grandparents [literally: grandmother and grandfather])

vnuk (vnook; grandson)

vnuki (vnoo-kee; grandsons)

vnuchka (vnooch-kuh; granddaughter)

vnuchki (vnooch-kee; granddaughters)

vnuki (vnoo-kee; grandchildren)

dyadya (dya-d’uh; uncle)

tyotya (tyo-t’uh; aunt)

kuzyen (koo-zehn; male cousin)

kuzina (koo-zee-nuh; female cousin)

plyemyannik (plee-m’ah-neek; nephew)

plyemyannitsa (plee-m’ah-nee-tsuh; niece)

syem’ya (seem’-ya; family)

Talking about family members with the verb “to have”

When talking about your family, use phrases like “I have a brother” and “I have a big family” and “I don’t have any brothers or sisters.” To say these phrases, you need to know how to use the verb yest’ (yest’; to have).

Use the construction U myenya yest’ . . . (oo mee-nya yest’ . . . ; I have . . .) when talking about your own family:

U myenya yest’ brat (oo mee-n’ah yest’ braht; I have a brother)

U myenya yest’ syestra (oo mee-n’ah yest’ sees-trah; I have a sister)

If you want to say that you don’t have a brother, a sister, a nephew, and so on, you use the construction U myenya nyet (oo mee-n’ah n’eht) plus a noun in the genitive case:

U myenya nyet brata (oo mee-n’ah n’eht braht-uh; I don’t have a brother)

U myenya nyet syestry (oo mee-n’ah n’eht sees-trih; I don’t have a sister)

The genitive plural forms of some family members are irregular, and you need to memorize them:

brat’yev (braht’-yehf; brothers)

syestyor (sees-tyor; sisters)

synovyej (sih-nah-v’ehy; sons)

dochyeryej (duh-chee-r’ehy; daughters)

dyetyej (dee-t’ehy; children)

Where Do You Work?

Because what you do for living is crucial for a Russian’s understanding of who you are, be prepared to answer the question Kto vy po profyessii? (ktoh vih puh-prah-f’eh-see-ee?; What do you do for living? [literally: What’s your job?])

To answer the question about your profession, you just need the phrase Ya + your profession, as in Ya yurist (ya yoo-reest; I am a lawyer) or Ya pryepodavatyel’ (ya pree-puh-duh-vah-t’ehl’; I am a professor). Here’s a list of the most common professions:

agyent po nyedvizhimosti (uh-g’ehnt puh need-vee-zhih-muhs-tee; real-estate agent)

aktrisa (ahk-tree-suh; actress)

aktyor (ahk-tyor; male actor)

archityektor (uhr-khee-t’ehk-tuhr; architect)

bibliotyekar’ (beeb-lee-ah-t’eh-kuhr’; librarian)

biznyesmyen (beez-nehs-m’ehn; businessman)

bukhgaltyer (bookh-gahl-t’ehr; accountant)

domokhozyajka (duh-muh-khah-zyahy-kuh; homemaker)

inzhyenyer (een-zhee-n’ehr; engineer)

khudozhnik (khoo-dohzh-neek; artist, painter)

muzykant (moo-zih-kahnt; musician)

myedbrat (meed-braht; male nurse)

myedsyestra (meed-sees-trah; female nurse)

myenyedzhyer (meh-nehd-zhehr; manager)

pisatyel’ (pee-sah-t’ehl’; author, writer)

predprinimatyel (preht-pree-nee-mah-t’ehl; a businessman or a businesswoman)

programmist (pruh-gruh-meest; programmer)

pryepodavatyel’ (pree-puh-duh-vah-t’ehl’; professor at the university)

studyent (stoo-d’ehnt; male student)

studyentka (stoo-d’ehnt-kuh; female student)

uchityel’(oo-chee-t’ehl’; male teacher)

uchityel’nitsa (oo-chee-t’ehl’-nee-tsuh; female teacher)

vospitatyel’ (vuhs-pee-tah-t’ehl’; preschool teacher)

vrach (vrahch; physician)

yurist (yu-reest; attorney, lawyer)

zhurnalist (zhoor-nuh-leest; journalist)

zunbnoj vrach (zoob-noy vrahch; dentist)

You can also specify where you work. Russian doesn’t have an equivalent for the English “I work for United” or “He works for FedEx.” Instead of for, Russian uses its equivalent of at — prepositions v or na. Instead of saying, “I work for United,” a Russian says, “I work at United.”

The Russian prepositions v and na (at) require that the noun denoting a place should take the prepositional case. Here are some of the most common places people work. Say Ya rabotayu . . . (ya rah-boh-tuh-yu . . . ; I work . . .) plus one of these phrases:

doma (doh-muh; from home)

na fabrikye (nuh fah-bree-k’eh; at a light-industry factory)

na zavodye (nuh zah-voh-d’eh; at a heavy- industry plant)

v bankye (v bahn-k’eh; at a bank)

v bibliotyekye (v beeb-lee-ah-t’eh-k’eh; in a library)

v bol’nitsye (v bahl’-nee-tseh; at a hospital)

v byuro nyedvizhimosti (v b’u-roh need-vee-zhih-muhs-tee; at a real-estate agency)

v kommyerchyeskoj firmye (f kah-m’ehr- chees-kuhy feer-m’eh; at a business firm, company)

v laboratorii (v luh-buh-ruh-toh-ree-ee; in a laboratory)

v magazinye (v muh-guh-zee-n’eh; at a store)

v shkolye (f shkoh-l’eh; at a school)

v uchryezhdyenii (v ooch-reezh-d’eh-nee-ee; at an office)

v univyersityetye (v oo-nee-veer-see-t’eh-t’eh; at a university)

v yuridichyeskoj firmye (v yu-ree-dee-chees-kuhy feer-m’eh; at a law firm)

Let’s Get Together: Giving and Receiving Contact Information

Just before you’re about to take your leave from a new Russian acquaintance, you probably want to exchange contact information. The easiest way to do this is just hand over your business card and say Eto moya vizitnaya kartochka (eh-tuh mah-yah vee-zeet-nah-yuh kahr-tuhch-kuh; This is my card [literally: this is my visiting card]). In case you don’t have a business card, you need to know these phrases:

Moj adryes . . . (mohy ah-dr’ehs . . . ; My address is . . .)

Moya ulitsa . . . (mah-ya oo-lee-tsuh . . . ; My street is . . .)

Moj nomyer doma . . . (mohy noh-m’ehr doh-muh . . . ; My house number is . . .)

Moj indyeks . . . (mohy een-dehks . . . ; My zip code is . . .)

Moj nomyer tyelyefona (moy noh-mer tee-lee-foh-nuh . . . ; My telephone number is . . .)

After you give your contact info, be sure to get your new friend’s address, phone number, and e-mail address. You can use these phrases:

Kakoj u vas nomyer tyelyefona? (kuh-kohy oo vahs noh-meer tee-lee-foh-nuh?; What’s your phone number?)

Kakoj u vas adryes? (kuh-kohy oo vahs ahd-r’ehs?; What’s your address?)

Kakoj u vas adryes elektronnoj pochty? (kuh-kohy oo vahs ahd-r’ehs eh-l’ehk-troh-nuhy pohch-tih?; What’s your e-mail address?)

I’m Sorry! I Don’t Understand

When you first start conversing in Russian, there will probably be a lot you don’t understand. You can signal that you don’t understand something in several ways. Choose the phrase you like best, or use them all to really get the message across:

Izvinitye, ya nye ponyal. (eez-vee-nee-t’eh ya nee pohh-n’uhl; Sorry, I didn’t understand. [masculine])

Izvinitye, ya nye ponyala. (eez-vee-nee-t’eh ya nee puh-nee-lah; Sorry, I didn’t understand. [feminine])

Izvinitye, ya plokho ponimayu po-russki. (eez-vee-nee-t’eh ya ploh-khuh puh-nee-mah-yu pah-roos-kee; Sorry, I don’t understand Russian very well.)

Govoritye, pozhalujsta, myedlyennyeye! (guh-vah-ree-t’eh pah-zhahl-stuh m’ehd-lee-nee-eh!; Speak more slowly, please!)

Kak vy skazali? (kahk vih skuh-zah-lee?; What did you say?)

Povtoritye, pozhalujsta. (puhf-tah-ree-t’eh pah-zhah-luh-stuh; Could you please repeat that?)

Vy govoritye po-anglijski? (vih guh-vah-ree-t’eh puh uhn-gleey-skee?; Do you speak English?)