“You need to stop viewing sex as something that must only be tied to love.” I lay back on the daybed. I put on my hat, loving the sun, but needing a break from the heat of the afternoon.
“And you need to open yourself up to the possibility of love.” Fritz stretched his legs out from his place in the chair across from me. My cousin made the chair seem positively tiny. His tall and broad frame dwarfed most of our kind.
“Why?” I glanced up at the clear blue sky. Storms would be coming soon, but not for at least a few more hours. Weather wasn’t always perfect in Summer Court, but it did follow a pattern: sunny, bright mornings that turned into stormy weather in late afternoon. Evenings were usually cooler and clear, aside from a strong lingering storm every few days. “Give me one good reason.”
“Power. You know you cannot come into your gift without mating.” He leaned forward, pressing his hands into his knees.
“And mating requires love?” I volleyed back. He knew as well as I did that life didn’t always work that way.
“One hopes it will.” He leaned back in his chair.
I tossed a pillow at him. “You are a foolish man, Fitz. Sometimes I wonder how we are related.”
“Why?” He caught the bright pink pillow with one hand. “Why can’t mating involve love?”
“Because love requires choice. Mating doesn’t.” And choice was something I wished I had. I had plenty of good in my life, but I’d have traded it all for choice.
“Perhaps your destined mate will be someone you love.” Fritz shielded his eyes from the sun.
“Have you met the wolves around here?”
“Sure. Some of them are great guys.” He moved to a different chair more in the shade.
“Yes… but none my type.” Sure, plenty were handsome, but none called to me in any real way.
“But have you truly met all the wolves of the court? Or other courts?”
I sighed. “I suppose not. But really, what does it matter? I need to mate for my family line to continue. I will do my duty. But love will have absolutely nothing to do with it.” Love was hard to find, and it didn’t last anyway. Why worry myself over something so fleeting?
“Sometimes I wish I could send even a tiny bit of my romanticism over to you.” Fritz mimed throwing something in my direction.
“Nah.” I played along with the motions and mimed punching it back. “Save it for yourself. You will enjoy it far more.”
“What happened to you, cousin?” Fritz scooted forward in his seat. “You used to have a heart.”
“I still have one. Last time I checked I’d be dead without it.” I pulled down on the brim of my hat to shield my face.
“You know exactly what I mean.”
I looked out at the pool in front of me. It was a tranquil enough day. Normally I’d have avoided this conversation altogether by taking a dip in the pool. “Yes, I do. And I don’t know what to tell you. I guess I grew up and saw the world for what it really was.”
Fritz made complete eye contact. “This is about your father.”
I shook my head. “No, it isn’t.”
“Yes, it is.” He nodded. “And that’s completely normal. It would be surprising if it didn’t color your views on relationships.”
“Please don’t play at understanding my mind. You don’t.” No one did. Not even me, as sad as that was.
“Fine. I’ll stop. But the sooner you accept your feelings the better.”
“Why?” I wasn’t going to let his words hang there. “Is this where you tell me I’m not getting any younger, and I need to find my mate?”
“No.” His face was completely serious. “It’s not.” He stood and walked over to sit beside me. “This is where I tell you to take care of yourself. Because it’s not all about you. Your court needs you.”
“The court has my father. It is doing just fine.” I avoided looking at the palace, at the place the people of my court looked to for hope and for help.
Fritz snorted. “Oh yes. Doing just fine. When word gets out about what your father did… He’s crossed a line this time. Even he—”
“It won’t get out,” I interrupted before he could go on about the mess my father had made. “My mother has promised her silence.”
“And Gala? Has she pledged her silence as well? We all know she is a woman of honor.” Fritz raised an eyebrow.
“She has all the money she could ever want now. She and the baby will want for nothing.” I knew there was an edge to my voice, but I didn’t care. Fritz was one of the few people I could speak openly with.
“And you think that will satisfy her?” He pressed. “You know what she really wants.”
“A baby born in that matter cannot rule. I have nothing to fear.” One always had something to fear, but it was wise to hide that fear. At least that’s what my father always told me.
“There is always something to fear when dealing with the likes of Gala.”
“Wow. That sounds rather pessimistic. What happened to my romantic of a cousin?” Snapping at Fritz was out of line, but I didn’t much care at the moment.
“Being a romantic does not mean one should be blind to reality.” He reached over to the table and poured himself a glass of water. “That is dangerous. And reckless. Need I say it again? This goes beyond you.”
“I will mate. I will carry on the line.”
“And I do care about you.” He paused with his glass inches from his lips. “Just so you know. I say this goes beyond you, but even if it were just about you, I care.”
“That’s sweet. What a heartfelt statement.” I poured my own glass of water, suddenly parched.
He tipped his glass back and took half the glass in one big gulp. “Come on. You know I care.”
“I do. And I feel the same about you. Most of the time.”
“What do you want to do?” He set down his now empty glass. “We can’t just sit around here all day.”
“Can’t we?” I stared into my water cup before taking a small sip. “My father cancelled the council meeting. My parents have forbidden me to go anywhere right now in fear that I might inadvertently let details slip. As if I want any of that known.” I laughed dryly.
“Surely they would let you go somewhere with me. We can avoid the public.”
“Where did you have in mind?” Getting away, especially far away from the palace, sounded heavenly.
“The lake house. There is hardly any staff there right now. No would even know we were there.” He wiped his brow. “Plus, it’s cooler over there. You know I love the sun as much as anyone, but it seems stronger lately.”
“And the lake house will be better than here? Aside from the heat index?”
“Yes. Because it’s not here. It’s away from your parents.” He knew exactly the right words to say.
“This isn’t a set up, right?”
“A set up?” He raised an eyebrow.
“You know. You’ve got a nice wolf waiting there for me to meet.” I felt silly even suggesting it, but I was starting to wonder if I could trust anyone anymore. When I was a child my life was simple. Now it was anything but.
Fritz laughed. “Last time I checked I wasn’t a matchmaker.”
“Yet you could easily be one.” It wasn’t mere flattery. I wasn’t one to flatter people anyway, but he did have a way with relationships and seeing connections no one else could.
“Is this your way of asking me to set you up?” A small smile played at the corners of his lips.
“Oh, gosh no. I didn’t mean for me. I meant for other people. Maybe also yourself, since if you focused more on yourself you wouldn’t be so focused on me.”
“So sweet.” He poured another glass of water, emptying the pitcher.
“Convince my parents to let us go and I’m in.” I needed a distraction, and being stuck in the palace meant those were far and few between.
“Sure thing.” He rose. “I’m holding you to that.”
“I never claim to be perfect or even good, but I keep my word.” And that also came from my father. I’d watched him break his word over and over and knew I could never do the same.
“I know you do. And I know you are good. You aren’t perfect, but then again who is?”
“You mean other than you?” I teased.
He laughed. “Oh yes. I’m completely perfect.”
“Go on now. I don’t have all day.” I stood and removed my hat. The pool was sounding better now.
“There’s the Coral I know. I was even starting to miss your bossiness.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll always be here to tell you what to do.” Like it or not, I was stuck in Summer Court.
“I sure hope so,” he mumbled before walking inside the palace.
I said nothing, trying not to let his words worry me. Gala wouldn’t try anything. It would only put her comfortable life in jeopardy, right?
The thought wouldn’t leave my head, so I slipped off my robe and dove into the refreshing water of the pool. I stayed submerged for as long as I could, wanting to forget everything going on in the world above.