Walking to Delvi was something I’d never imagined doing. That’s what carriages were for. But then again, I never imagined having kids from another world show up in a village that was supposed to be at the bottom of a lake either. I also never imagined I’d be continually fantasizing about a wolf on my personal guard. My personal guard. I laughed thinking about it. My guard was what, my cousin and a couple of wolves that had agreed to come with me on this crazy adventure? But the fantasies were there, and it was the worst possible time for it. The kids were at the palace, waiting for me to find a way to get them home. I really hoped it didn’t prove to be impossible.
The sound of distant thunder kept me marching along. We were going to get stuck in the storm, but I hoped we’d be close to the caves by then so we could find shelter.
We were all moving faster now. Even Preston who had been sluggish was moving at a fevered pace. He had gotten a second wind for one reason or another. I didn’t know what to make of him. He seemed honest, but one could never know. I also knew some of my suspicion came from his court. Try as I might, trusting Wren was nearly impossible.
“You know I could carry you if you got tired.” Stafford walked so close to me his arm brushed against mine. I should have been prepared for the spark, but I wasn’t. I wondered if I would ever get used to it.
Once the shock wore off, I let his words set in. My mood immediately changed, and I got ready to let him have it when I noticed his smile for the first time. He was joking. He was messing with me. No one but Fritz ever did that. It was so new I wasn’t even sure how to handle it.
“You okay?” He watched me with worry in his eyes. “Did I cross a line?”
“No. Sorry,” I quickly reassured him. I wanted the teasing look back, not the concern. “It’s just new. I’m not used to anyone actually making jokes to me. Well, aside from Fritz, and he doesn’t count.”
“I heard that.” Fritz glanced back at us over his shoulder.
“Yeah, but you’re like a brother.” And so the teasing felt entirely different.
“And that’s supposed to make it all better?”
“I’m just saying. It's different. You have a pass when it comes to that stuff. You know nothing can really happen to you.”
“But it can happen to me?” Stafford had moved a little bit further away. “I am only joking. I understand the seriousness of the situation. I will be more careful.”
Bran frowned. “Yes, he will be.”
“No.” I put my hand on Stafford’s arm, this time finally prepared for the spark and intensity. It was hard to handle, yet so pleasurable. “I’d rather you not. I’d rather you just be yourself.” I reluctantly removed my hand. “I’m tired of everyone walking on eggshells around me.”
“Oh. Yeah. Right.” Fritz turned to look at me again.
“I’m not saying I’ve always felt that way, I’m saying now I do.” I looked up at the clouds rolling in. “And maybe it’s just with you guys. We’ve had some bonding time.”
“Because this experience is the perfect kind to bond over.” Preston grinned.
“Hey, did I say you could make jokes?” I teased. It felt so good to let loose. I was always so careful about what I said, but I was too far past exhausted and stressed to care anymore.
He looked horrified.
“That was a joke. If I’m allowing all of you to joke with me, I expect the same in return.”
“Allowing, huh?” Fritz hung back and slung an arm over my shoulder. “Not quite ready to let go of the control? Still feel the need to remind everyone you can revoke the privilege at any time?”
“No, but maybe you do.” I playfully punched Fritz’s arm.
“We know our position.” Stafford looked straight ahead. “We will be careful not to cross any bright lines.”
“Well, you can cross some.” Fritz laughed. .
I glared at him. This was what I got for telling him anything about the kiss. I had such a love, hate relationship with my cousin.
Stafford glanced at me. I looked away. Ugh. Now he knew I kissed and told. I hoped that didn’t mean he would do the same. Not that it mattered. I had nothing to be embarrassed about.
“Is this professor trustworthy?” Bran asked, thankfully moving the subject off of what I did or did not do with Stafford. “Yes, I know I should have asked this before we started our trek, but after what you said about making jokes, I assumed that meant I could also ask questions.”
“She is trustworthy.” Fritz moved to walk alongside Bran. “She is loyal to the court, but more loyal to the truth.”
“In other words, she won’t turn us in to my father.” That was really what everyone was dancing around.
“Are you sure your father wouldn’t support this?” Preston pushed some hair away from his eyes. “Not that I doubt you. I’ve known Wren well enough to see what rulers can be like, but I don’t know much about your court.”
“I don’t know for sure what my father would do, but I do know keeping face is usually what matters to him. Although as the rumors are swirling, I don’t think he’s been doing a great job of that of late.”
“And we don’t know how much he’s been hiding.” Fritz rubbed the back of his neck. “I generally respect my uncle, but canceling council meetings is a dangerous practice. There have been no briefings, and considering all the trouble brewing both inside and outside of our borders… he was wrong to do that.”
“Do you believe he will abdicate to you willingly?” Stafford rolled up his sleeves revealing his sexy forearms. Even his forearms were sexy. I was hopelessly gone when it came to having a chance of resisting him.
“When I am mated and declare my intention to take over, he will have no choice.”
“He will have no choice officially, but does that mean he will truly do it?” Stafford didn’t seem to be asking anyone in particular. “Who will challenge him?”
“I will.” Fritz turned and walked backward. “I will challenge him. I will not rest until Coral becomes queen. It was the position she was born for. She has the strength, intelligence, and reason to do the job.”
“You don’t have to convince us.” Preston rolled her shoulder back as if to get tension out. “We obviously are putting our trust in her.”
It was strange hearing Fritz talk about me that way. He had always been supportive, but in the teasing, and family have to build each other up, sort of way. This was different. This was intense and shared with others.
“Thank you for the vote of confidence, Fritz.” I hoped he knew I was actually moved.
“Of course. Never doubt my loyalty.” He made direct eye contact before turning back around.
“I never have.” But I had never fully appreciated it before either. There was so much I had never appreciated, and that needed to change now.
More thunder crackled. We had to get moving. I picked up the pace, and thankfully, so did everyone else.
We made it to the caves just in time. The sky opened up sending down torrents of rain, but it was the lightning and wind that made it so important we’d found shelter. This was a stronger and longer storm than usual. I’d planned on us having to stay put for three to four hours, but before long it became clear we were there for the night. With no shelter between us and the university after we moved past the caves, continuing on was too great of a risk.
We set up camp with the meager supplies we’d thought to bring with us and tried to sleep. I say tried, because after an hour I was tired of lying there in the darkness trying to quiet my thoughts. I could no longer hear any thunder, so I left my spot and headed outside to see if the rain had let up.
The night was clear and dark aside from a few stars and some faint moonlight.
I took a seat, leaning back against the rock bordering the opening of the cave. I looked out at the night, wondering what else was out there and what waited for me. My life had always felt too planned out, yet now I had no clue what was happening. I’d been begging for weeks to get out of the palace, and maybe it wasn’t with permission, but I was certainly far outside the palace walls now.
“Couldn’t sleep either?” Stafford sat down beside me. “Don’t mind if I join you, do you?”
“A little late to ask permission.” I soaked in the sensation of his body so close to mine.
“Not really. I can easily stand up and move if you prefer.” He was so close that our bodies were almost touching.
“I don’t prefer it.” I scooted over enough to close the small gap. I savored the rush from the connection.
“Okay then.” He leaned back. “Nice night out.”
“It’s always nice after the storms, isn’t it?” I relaxed into the rock, trying to focus on the cool stone rather than on my desire. “It’s tranquil. Peaceful after such intensity.” It was hard to talk about peacefulness when my entire body was on fire. Need surged through me.
“It is nice.” He placed his hand right beside mine on the ground. “It’s the best thinking time. It’s something I don't get tons of.”
“Too busy?” I knew so little about Stafford’s life, but then again, he knew very little about mine.
“Yes and no. Often there is just too much going on, and my time isn’t my own.”
“Downside to being on the force.” I linked my pinky with his without really thinking about it.
“Yes. And I assume you know a bit about what it’s like. Having your time planned by others.”
I laughed. “Oh, I know it too well. And not just my present is planned by others. My future is too. There’s no limit to my enlisted time. But I’m sorry. I know that sounds pathetic. I do want to be queen.”
“No need to apologize. We all want control over our lives.” He stroked my hand with his pointer finger.
“Yes. Yes, we do. And we seem to keep having these conversations.”
“Anything wrong with them?” He glanced over.
“No. Of course not.” I shook my head. “Just noting it’s a recurring theme.”
“We can talk about anything you’d like.” He crossed his legs at the ankle. “We skipped all the normal talks.”
“Or maybe we had no need for them.”
“Very true. Who really has a need for talk of favorite colors? And often you can get answers by merely talking. Like I already know your favorite time of day.”
“As I do yours.” But I wanted to know more.
“I also know you long for freedom, yet you understand your duty. You don’t mind roughing it, and you care about children.”
“I do have some questions for you.” I wouldn’t force him to tell me things, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t ask.
“Oh?”
“What made you join the protective force?” I had been trying to figure that out all day. “You turned over control, and you seem like someone who likes it.”
He didn’t say anything at first, but I waited. Finally he started, “I needed to pay off some family debts. It was an easy way to do it.”
“Easy?” I raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know if I ever heard someone call protective force duty easy.”
“How many members have you spoken to informally without them having risks of repercussions?”
“See, I knew everyone was afraid of me.” I looked out at the night.
“Not afraid of you. Afraid of your power and what it could mean.”
“That’s not fair.” I turned to look at him.
“Who said anything in life was fair?”
I let his words sink in. “I like that.”
“You like what exactly?”
“How you really just say it like it is.” I pressed my back harder into the rock behind me, it felt so solid. “No pretense. No filter.”
“Oh. There is a filter.” Stafford stroked my hand. “I can assure you.”
“So you are holding yourself back right now?” Desire surged through me. The closeness set off waves of needs I knew I couldn’t ignore forever.
“From some things.”
“Like what?”
“If I told you, I wouldn’t be holding myself back.” There was a twinkle in his eye.
“Then show me.” It was a dangerous request, but it was one I needed to make.
“I’m not sure if I should.”
“You should.”
“If you say so.” He leaned in and brushed his lips against mine. It was so light it was teasing. I moaned, as even that tiny touch set me on fire. He kissed me harder with one hand on the back of my head pushing me closer. I groaned in pleasure as he pushed his way into my mouth.
I tangled a hand in his hair as I slipped a hand under his shirt so I could feel his skin. I felt muscle, hard and enticing.
He bit my lip before once again diving into my mouth. He held me close, his hand slipping under my tunic and his fingers running up and down my stomach, each time nearing my breast but stopping short. I wanted to move his hand up higher, but I didn’t. He was in control, and I liked it that way.
He bit my lip again before he broke the kiss, slowly releasing his hold on me. “How’s that for not holding back?”
It took me several moments to catch my breath. “Wow.”
“It was wow for me too.”
“You will need to do that again.”
“You really do like bossing people around.” He kissed my forehead.
“Yet I love when you are in control.”
“Hopefully sometime I’ll have time to show you more of that.”
“Oh, you will.” I would be sure of it.
I settled back down next to him, and he wrapped his hand around mine. There was no denying it now. There was a connection between us, and eventually I would have to face exactly what it was.