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When the alarm went off on Monday morning, I immediately felt Kelly's absence from my bed. After our conversation Sunday evening, I had to fall asleep holding a pillow to ease the emptiness of my bed. Once asleep, my dreams were haunted with blips of what my life might have looked like had it been Kelly instead of Maggie at speed dating that night in 2002. Allowing myself ten more minutes to snooze to the memory of my dreams, I made sure to shake the thoughts of what-ifs before waking up my children.
In the end, 15 years of being in a loveless marriage was worth bringing my twins into this world. All I could do is make sure that the next 15 years held Kelly in them.
Once I had the kids in the car, and before I put my van into reverse, I sent Kelly a quick text to let her know I was thinking of her. Surprisingly, despite the morning's sluggish beginnings, we arrived at school early enough for breakfast and were able to snag some pancakes from the lunchroom.
At least a few times a week I attempted to get to school early enough to have a sit-down breakfast with my kids without the hassle of cooking. Granted, I could always stop by the Waffle House on the way into work, but there was just something about knowing that you only have to walk a short distance down the hall that stops you from feeling rushed.
Plus, our cafeteria staff rocked and could rival even the best breakfast café.
When the kids were settled into Mrs. Dalton's class for the morning, the rest of my day flew by in typical fashion.
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A TYPICAL WORKDAY FOR me consisted of the following:
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9:00 AM TO 11:00 AM – Meetings with various teachers and administrative staff.
11:00 am to 12:00 pm – Lunchroom duty
12:00 pm to 1:00 pm – Recess duty
1:00 pm to 1:30 pm – Personal Lunchtime
1:30 pm – 3:00 pm – Office hours for parent meetings.
3:00 pm – Pick up the kids from Mrs. Dalton
3:30 pm-5:00 pm – Day end paperwork for me, homework for the kids
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AFTER MY PAPERWORK had been completed for the day, the twins and I made it home by 5:30 pm. Since both John and Katie were busy in their respective rooms, I suddenly found myself with an abnormal amount of childfree time that felt oddly lacking.
Usually, this would be when I would start dinner, or catch up on the local news. But since tonight's dinner consisted of leftovers from our day at Sadler's Ridge and cable was flitting in and out, I ended up sitting in my recliner, wishing that Kelly were here to help fill my free time.
Realizing that 10:00 pm was still over four hours away, I found myself staring at my cell phone debating whether or not to send her a text or not.
I was trying to play things smoothly and organically without seeming desperate, but the more I fixated on the blinking cursor that kept teasing me from my waiting cell phone, I finally gave in.
Dale –
Good Evening, Beautiful. Missing you.
Kelly –
Good Evening, Handsome. Love you.
Was it pathetic that those five words should bring my heart such joy?