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Hmmmm, it's morning. I haven't slept this well in forever.
Reaching out, I could feel Dale's hand next to me and laced my fingers through his.
Turning on my side, I was immediately aware of the tenderness in my abdomen that had been bothering me for a while now. I needed to set up an appointment for that UTI.
Opening my eyes to greet my Dale, I instead found myself face to face with a hospital rail.
I tried to call out to Dale, but my throat was abnormally sore, so I squeezed his hand to try and get his attention. Unable to move my body with ease, I looked down and saw that Dale was lying on a cot next to my bed fast asleep.
Thankfully, only a few minutes passed before I saw Polly pulling open the curtain separating my room from the door.
"Welcome back, Kelly!" Polly chirped. "How are you feeling?"
Attempting to use my voice, but finding that it was just a rasp, I chose to use my free hand instead to give the "eh" sign.
Looking towards Dale, and then back at Polly with a questioning gaze. Polly said, "He's been awake for over two days and finally passed out around 3:00 am this morning."
What day is it?
As if sensing my thoughts telepathically, Polly replied, "It's Monday morning around 5:00 am."
I'm late picking up the girls. My overwhelming sense of panic allowed me to squeak out, "my girls?"
"I think Dale said that Geoff had the girls till Tuesday and then your mom was taking over. Don't worry. You've had a whole team of people looking out for you." Then Polly gave me a reassuring pat on my arm. "Now, I'm going to try to roll you back so that you're lying flat; otherwise you're going to freak out the IV machine into thinking it's disconnected."
Giving her my thumbs up, I also made a point to gesture towards Dale and give the universal sign for "shhh."
To which Polly agreed, but only after at least two minutes of indecision.
After Polly had helped right my position, she began running my vitals in silence looking at me periodically to give a small instruction or a smile. At some point, while she was taking my temperature, I found myself unable to keep my eyes open and drifted back to sleep.
The next time I woke, I was no longer holding Dale's hand, but I could see him talking to someone by the curtain.
What time was it?
Glancing at the clock above the room’s dry erase board, I saw that it was just past 10:00 am. I had been asleep for another five hours.
"Damn it, Polly! Why didn't you wake me?" I heard Dale say in the background sounding desperate.
Feeling the need to defend Polly, I croaked, "Because I didn't want her to!"
Shocked by the noise coming from my direction, Dale abandoned Polly and rushed to my side.
Touching my face with his palms, Dale did a once-over to make sure that I wasn't a mirage before kissing me lightly on the lips. When he pulled away, his eyes were glistening with unshed tears.
"Hey!" he said tenderly.
"Hey!" I whispered.
Why was he so close to my mouth right now? My breath must have smelled like rotten milk.
"Kelly, I hate to bother you guys right now, but the doctor is doing rounds, and I thought you might want to hear from him what's happened since Friday night," Polly said sympathetically.
Nodding in agreement, I looked towards Dale and saw him clenching his jaw as new tears began to form in his eyes.
That’s when I knew that something was terribly wrong.
Twenty minutes later, once everyone but Dale had left the room, I crumpled.
I had lost a baby. I had lost ANOTHER baby!
When I was married to Geoff, I had a total of four miscarriages. One of those while pregnant with Mandy and her twin. It was one of the reasons why I went ahead with the tubal ligation. That and Nichole felt like my support system at home wasn't strong enough to handle more than two children on my own, and I had agreed.
Allowing myself to cry on Dale's shoulder, I was vaguely aware of how much time we had before I was transferred out of ICU. I was going to use all of that time to mourn my little girl.
How did I know it was a little girl? Because every time I had had a miscarriage in the past, I had the same dream.
I remembered that dream from my medically induced sleep.
"That explains the dream," I whispered to Dale. My voice was getting stronger, but it still felt stiff.
"What do you mean?" he asked while holding me tightly.
"Every time I lost a baby with Geoff, I had a dream where my grandfather greeted the child in a meadow near Sadler's Ridge, and as they walk through the picket fence, they would wave goodbye to me and smile. That's how I'd know they were with each other," I said between sobs. "I remember dreaming after my collapse, of a little girl who looked like you, with my hair and nose. She was so beautiful. So, so beautiful, and my grandfather took her through that picket fence."
That's when I felt a tear from Dale land on my forehead as we embraced each other and rocked in silence, mourning the loss of our sweet angel.
Once we were transported to the transition wing of the ICU, it was 1:00 pm and by 2:00 pm family and friends began trickling in to check on my status.
Thankful to hear that the doctor hoped to release me by Tuesday afternoon, everyone was gracious enough to leave by 5:00 pm. That way Dale and I could have a night of rest before we went home.
According to Dale's mom, Pam, Sunday morning Maggie called her demanding that she pick up the kids. Unsympathetic to my hospitalization, Maggie had informed Pam after loading the kids into Dale's van, that if Dale wanted her to take the kids for more than the weekend, he needed to pay her child support.
As a result, the twins had been staying with Pam and Brian at the retirement village since yesterday morning. Though they would happily have kept the kids the rest of the week, their HOA had a regulation against children staying for more than two nights at a time.
Usually, we could see if Aunt Shawn would come to stay with the kids along with Mazie and Mandy, but the twins overheard the comment that their mother had made about deserving to spend part of her work vacation without kids in tow.
John had pretended that he didn't hear her, but later that night, Brian caught John rocking a crying Katie and reassuring her that, "At least Kelly and Daddy love us."
Knowing that our children were hurting, we couldn't stand to spend another night without them. Plus, they were good kids, and my only restriction was that I couldn't pick up any of the older children for two weeks. Thus, since Dale's vacation started the previous Friday afternoon, we would be okay.
Once everyone had left on Monday evening, Dale and I sat and discussed in detail the terms of the settlements and the information Brian had received this afternoon from his friend, Judge Caldwell. Deciding to take Nichole's advice regarding Dr. Johnston, we submitted two signed settlements to the attorney's office and one with a personal request for amendment. Because our request wasn't regarding the payout, Dale's father felt that it would be accepted without issue.
In response to our request, we received a visit from a very relieved Nate the following morning.
Off the record, he informed us that by making our request formally, it was the leverage the hospital needed to force Dr. Johnston into retirement. He had threatened Danville Memorial with an age-ism lawsuit when they initially suggested it on Saturday afternoon, before revising it to a suspension of privileges.
As much as I hated someone losing their job, I was reassured by Nate that both Trish and Dr. Johnston had received hefty severance packages to avoid countersuit and that I shouldn't allow it to stress me out. After all, I was still carrying twins.
Delightedly, the appointment with the Ultrasound technician before we went home went well, and we were later advised by the on-call OBGYN that both babies seemed to continue showing endurance and that I was an estimated 10-12 weeks along.
Based on their age, that meant that our babies were either conceived in the laundry room or the lean-to the Sunday that followed.
When the doctor left, our discussion turned to how to proceed with birth control going forward. Though Dale was not opposed to a future pregnancy, my increased risk of another ectopic pregnancy scared him after nearly losing me on Friday. So, he decided to go ahead with a vasectomy when I came back for my follow up appointment on Friday.
"Are you sure you want to have a vasectomy?" I asked tentatively.
Geoff had been completely opposed to taking one for the team.
"Baby, Friday night was the worst night of my life. If I can prevent you from having unnecessary surgery, I will." And the kiss that followed this admission confirmed every word he'd said.