Hana’s uncle was responsible for her father’s death. She didn’t have proof yet, and she didn’t know how hands-on he was, but deep down she knew.
Her ruse of acting like the perfect, doting daughter was working just as she planned. Her mother was thrown off, and her uncle didn’t know how to act around her when they weren’t at each other’s throats. Best of all, Noriko and Dennis were letting their guards down. Hana was even able to steal their phones for a few hours while they thought she was locked away in her room. It seemed the lessons she gave them on cybersecurity when she was in middle school never paid off since they both had basic 4-digit codes for their lock screens. Noriko’s was set to Hana’s birthday, and Dennis’ was the year he graduated high school. She went searching and was able to log into their bank and credit card accounts and send herself years’ worth of transactions and delete all traces of her actions’ notifications from their inboxes. There was nothing else telling in their messages or notes, but what she found before returning their phones was more than enough for her to dive into.
She realized that her journal would be too easy to discard if it was found, so she needed a digital backup that couldn’t be easily wiped from existence. She created a new email account and only logged into it using an incognito window. She wrote everything into a draft, and she didn’t send the email so there wasn’t a digital trail.
After looking over all the evidence she’d accumulated, including a revised copy of her paternal grandparents’ will, she was beginning to gather real evidence that wasn’t just a sinking feeling in her stomach. She didn’t know if Noriko was a coconspirator in any way, but after reviewing Dennis’ bank statements, she was sure that he was a part of it.
In the weeks leading up to her father dying, Dennis made a series of cash withdrawals between $250-$700. The day he died he took out a final withdrawal of $3,500, and all together the withdrawals totaled $10,000. The same amount that Jake Hansen’s mother said he set aside for his funeral. It couldn’t be a coincidence.
Hana needed more concrete proof — she knew firsthand what a good defense attorney could do with evidence like this. No district attorney would pursue a case against a defense attorney as high powered as Dennis Holm without an airtight case.
Dennis was coming over for breakfast as he often did after one of Noriko’s overnight shifts, but today he was coming before her shift instead of after. Noriko had traded a shift with a coworker who needed Tuesday afternoon off, so she was working a rare daytime shift today. Hana could count on one hand how many of those she remembered Noriko working since her father’s death, and she tried not to think about whether Dennis inspired the change or not.
Hana made sure that she looked the part of a girl who grew up and was accepting her place in the world the way her mother and uncle wanted her to. She wore a pair of jean shorts with an oversized New Paltz sweatshirt tucked in at the waist. Her hair was meticulously brushed, and her lips had just the right amount of gloss. She was the picture of a casual college kid home for the summer.
When she came downstairs, she leaned against the doorway of the kitchen, taking in the scene in front of her. Dennis was in their kitchen already, wearing pajamas.
“Good morning, Hana!” he said jovially.
“Good morning.” Hana worked hard to keep a contented smile on her face even though she hated the fact he must have slept over. He had stayed here playing house like they were that kind of family, like he wasn’t involved in her father’s murder. She was seething, but she kept it together.
“I hope you’re in the mood for a big breakfast! I’m making up eggs and pancakes, and your mother ran out for muffins.”
“Woke up with an appetite for some reason?” Hana asked innocently.
Her uncle blanched. “Uh ... yeah, I, um ... one of those mornings, I guess. Just in the mood for something sweet,” he said, sprinkling chocolate chips on the pancakes.
“That’s the same way my dad used to make them,” Hana said, unable to stop the comment from slipping out.
“Oh, well, he and I learned from our dad,” Dennis said uncomfortably.
“He never got around to teaching me, but I suppose I still picked up on it. It’s almost the same,” Hana said softly.
“Well, maybe I can show you sometime,” Dennis said, though it sounded forced.
“Thanks, Uncle Dennis. That sounds good.” Hana gathered things to set the table and left the kitchen without another word.
Noriko got home a moment later, and Hana gave her a half nod in greeting from where she was setting the dining room table. Her mother smiled at her before going into the kitchen to help Dennis, and Hana wanted to scream at her mother to run, to get away from the life-ruining man in front of her.
The two adults came out to her carrying breakfast a moment later, already wrapped in their own conversation.
“I wish I wasn’t telling the truth, but really, that patient looked at me and started talking like I didn’t speak English. It’s ridiculous,” Noriko complained.
“So, what did you do?” Dennis asked.
“Well, I let her know that I spoke English, and then every time I was close to her for the rest of the night, I muttered the few completely innocuous phrases in Japanese that I know so she would think I was talking badly about her.” Noriko laughed. Hana laughed as well, even though she usually would use this as a start for a rant about how old racists need to just die off already.
“I can’t even imagine doing what you do,” Dennis said. Hana rolled her eyes.
“Well, I can’t imagine doing what you do either. Anything big happening lately?” Noriko asked.
“No, nothing too important. Just the usual cases lately.”
“Is it more interesting being a partner rather than just an associate?” Hana asked. Did her uncle think killing his brother was worth it?
“I think so. I have first pick of the interesting cases. Plus, I’ve always liked being busy, and I’m definitely busy as a partner,” Dennis said wistfully.
“That’s great,” Hana said, not adding anything more as she began to serve herself. Dennis and Noriko exchanged a confused glance out of the corner of her eye, but she didn’t comment on it.
She was elated. Clearly, they were buying her act, and if her pretending to be the girl who they wanted her to be would make them trust her she would lean in. If it meant getting one step closer to finding her father’s killer, she would do anything. She would smile without her teeth and put on the clothes her mother bought her and rain down hell when she discovered the truth.
After breakfast, she helped clean up, much to her mother’s relief. Noriko needed to get ready for work, and it left Hana and Dennis alone to do the dishes. Hana was loading the dishwasher and Dennis was handwashing a few in the sink. She paused, starting a voice memo on her phone before shoving it back in her pocket. She let the silence settle between them for a moment before she broke it.
“Uncle Dennis, can I ask you something?”
Dennis glanced over, puzzled, before focusing back on the pan he was scrubbing. “Yeah, kid, what’s up?”
“So ... I was wondering if you could tell me more about how my dad died,” Hana said slowly. Her pacing probably came off as uncertainty, but Hana knew exactly what she wanted to say. She kept loading the dishwasher, deliberately arranging and rearranging things while looking at Dennis out of the corner of her eye.
A look of anger came and went so quickly that Hana wasn’t sure if it was actually there, and it was replaced by a mixture of confusion and sadness. His downturned lips fit the expression along with the crease on his forehead, but his eyes were too steady for the expression to look right. Had he ever done theater when he was younger or was his acting was an extension of his natural ability to lie?
“I ... I don’t like to talk about it, you know that.”
Hana fought against the urge to roll her eyes. “I know, I just ... I miss him, and I can’t help but have some morbid curiosity about the whole thing.”
“I ... Well, he went quick, Hana. The coroner’s report said that the bastard hit him just right with one of his shots. Mark, he ... It was seconds.”
“Do you think his life flashed before his eyes? Do you think — do you think he thought of me? And my mom?” Hana asked. It might be too far, but she wanted to make sure she pushed him. Surely her placid behavior at breakfast won her some leeway.
“I ... Well, I haven’t died before, so I can’t say for sure, but I’m sure he did. He loved you very much,” Dennis said. Hana noticed how he left out mentioning how much Mark loved Noriko too.
“Yeah, he did.”
She kept going. “I know you were in the restaurant when Dad was shot outside, but was it ... Where were you when it happened?”
“I was inside. It all happened so fast, and by the time I got outside, he was already gone.” The way Dennis spoke sounded practiced, rehearsed, and was almost word for word the same as the original statement he gave at the crime scene.
“Do you think Hansen followed my dad or did he know where he’d be?”
“I don’t know, Hana.” Dennis’s voice sounded exasperated. “I wish we could’ve gotten a trial, but Hansen killed himself before the police figured out he was the one who killed Mark. He took the coward’s way out.”
“Yeah, he did,” Hana said. “Thank you for answering my questions. No one ever does.” Hana closed the dishwasher and starting the cycle.
“No problem, kid. As long as you don’t bother your mom with this stuff I don’t mind.”
“I won’t. Bye, Uncle Dennis,” Hana said. She left the kitchen and went straight to her room to add the voice memo to her email draft.
Hana had a feeling her uncle had already caught on to what she was doing and left the note on her windshield, but he couldn’t know how much evidence she had. He was smart enough to cover up his involvement in his brother’s death, but she was good at covering her tracks. Still, between the note and the way he was so insistent she didn’t involve Noriko, Hana worried that something would happen to her and no one would be any the wiser that she was investigating her father’s death. She needed someone to carry on the investigation if she was gone.
The only person she trusted wouldn’t give up on this if something happened to her was Daisy. Hana didn’t understand Daisy’s obsession with detective stories, but it was convenient for now. Hana just had to figure out a way to give her the login for the email in a way that wouldn’t be too obvious.
She wrote a note that she hoped someone would find in case anything happened to her. If she was gone, Daisy would want answers. At least, the version of Daisy from last week before Hana tore out her heart and stomped on it probably would. She just had to hope that even now Daisy would still care enough to look for her.
Hana wrote a note to anyone who might find it and included a short message to the three people she felt she still owed something to — Noriko, Will, and Daisy. She only gave a hint in the note about where Daisy’s real letter would be, and she hoped Daisy would understand her cryptic message.
She wrote another letter, this one for Daisy, and tried to assure herself that it wouldn’t come to this. Most likely these were all just unnecessary extra measures while she figured out the true next step in her investigation. She would be okay, and she would solve this mystery and get closure for her father’s death. But just in case anything happened to her, she needed to hide this letter somewhere only Daisy would know to look for it — the water tanks.
After Hana heard Noriko and Dennis both leave, she went downstairs to grab a manila folder and a handful of gallon sized baggies she could use to hopefully waterproof the letter. She carefully packaged the folder in the baggies and pulled on an old pair of knee-high rain boots that could probably keep her dry while she hid Daisy’s letter.
Hana sat in silence for half of her drive to the water tanks. When it finally became too much, she flipped on the radio to her favorite oldies station, and “Heaven is a Place on Earth” started playing. Hana smiled and nodded along to the familiar beat, wishing the song was enough to get her mind off everything going on.
She hiked to the water tanks quickly, pausing at the end of the trail to make sure no one was around to watch her. All she heard was the breeze rustling the trees and the distant bark of a dog, so she started to circle the tank, looking for their graffiti. She counted how many panels there were between the door of the tank and their initials to make sure she hid the folder in the right spot inside. She circled back and listened carefully once more before stepping through the doorway.
The water was only about six inches deep, and Hana shuffled forward through it, kicking up the mud and making the water murkier with every step.
When she got to the area she wanted to hide the folder, she found a large rock that would be perfect to hide the letter for Daisy under. It was a few feet long and about half a foot wide, and she tucked the folder against one of the shorter sides of the rock before rolling it so the folder was now submerged in the water under the rock.
She took a step back to admire her handy work. The rock stuck straight up like a tombstone, and she hoped that if Daisy needed to go looking for the folder, she would be able to tell the rock didn’t belong there. She slipped out of the tank and walked cautiously back to her car, happy to see that the trail was deserted and there was no one to give her odd looks about her mud-covered hands and clothes.
Her drive home was uneventful. She didn’t turn on the radio, though she did roll down all the windows and open her sunroof to enjoy the early summer sun and the humid heat it brought with it.
When she got home, she was relieved to see that her mother and uncle’s cars were both still gone. He mentioned that he had the day off to go to some doctor’s appointment, so Hana worried he would already be back, but he must have still been out at his appointment.
She showered off the mud and made sure to really scrub at her legs and arms to ensure that no traces of her endeavor were left behind. She stuffed her muddy clothes and boots in a garbage bag and hid it in the back of her closet. She would figure out what to do with them both later, but for now she wanted to transcribe her conversation with her uncle.
She fished her laptop and journal out of her bag, but before she logged into the email, she ripped out the page with her could-be last words and placed it on her bedside table. She put a few things on top of it, but she made sure that it was easy to find if something did happen to her and someone needed to find it.
She was about to log into the email when the doorbell rang. She froze, figuring if it was some religious zealot or aspiring politician that would just go away if they thought no one was home. This idea was shattered a second later when whoever it was pounded on the door.
“I know you’re in there, Hana! I see your car in the driveway!” Will Polo called, still pounding on the door. Hana cringed. He was probably there to make good on the series of shovel talks he gave her over the years.
She closed out of the email and shut her laptop before bracing herself to go downstairs and answer the door. She needed him to leave as quickly as possible, so she decided that she would keep up her docile doormat behavior for him as well.
She answered the door meekly, her eyes barely meeting Will’s for a second before she opened the door entirely. “Hi, Will, come in,” she said.
“Yeah, that’s the plan,” he said, walking past her and slipping off his shoes. Even angry, Will was always a gentleman.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” she asked, shutting the door gently behind him. His breathing was harsh, and his face was red.
“I don’t think this will be pleasurable,” Will snapped.
Hana wilted like a flower in dried out soil. “Is this about Daisy?” she asked, trying to dive straight to the inevitable pain of the conversation.
“Yes. Of course it is,” Will said.
“Do you want lemonade? My mom just made some yesterday,” Hana said.
“I don’t want lemonade. I want you to tell me what the hell is wrong with you,” Will snapped. Hana walked towards the kitchen anyway, and Will followed at her heels.
“Where should I start?” Hana asked.
“Start with whatever is off in your head that would make you cheat on Daisy. Why would you do that?” Will demanded the answer to something not even Hana understood.
“I regret it, but I thought hiding it was wrong,” Hana said tamely, pouring herself a glass of lemonade. She tried to put the pitcher back in the fridge, but Will got in the way.
“Doing it was wrong, Hana. What were you thinking? How could you do that to her?”
Hana paused, floundering for an answer that was both out of character for her and would possibly end this interaction sooner. Will wanted to know why, and he wouldn’t accept that Hana wasn’t thinking of Daisy when she cheated on her. Will would want her to say something reasonable, something that could satisfy his need for answers. Then it clicked into place, and her blood ran cold. She said a prayer for forgiveness for what she was about to say, and it suddenly struck her how long it was since she last went to church. Maybe she would go to mass on Sunday.
“I figured she was doing the same to me. I mean, why else would she not want to tell anyone we were dating?” Hana responded, nudging Will to the side to put away the lemonade.
“I — what? What do you mean you thought she was doing the same?” Will yelled.
“Well, her reasons for not coming out, they were always ...” Hana stalled while thinking of how to word it and hated herself for saying it. “Well, they always seemed like excuses. And she had so many of them, they came so easily, I figured she was telling some other girl the same thing. Or guy, who knows?”
“You’re seriously messed up, Holm. What happened to all that talk about how you would never hurt her, how she was too good for you, how you would try to be the person she deserved?” Will demanded. She wished there was a way to do this without hurting Daisy and Will, but this was the only way to get them out of her life.
“All I did here was prove that I’m exactly the person you thought I was. Look, Daisy can fight her own battles, so why did you come here? Why today?” Hana finally looked up and met Will’s eyes, wild with rage. The way he clenched his fists made Hana realize he really might hit her for breaking Daisy’s heart.
Then again, maybe this treatment was what she deserved. She tried not to linger on that masochistic thought for more than a beat.
“She told me a few days ago, but she just left for her pre-calc final,” Will said, “and I biked over here because I wanted to see your face when you admitted to it. I thought you would feel bad about this. I thought you could be better than this.”
It stung to hear, even if she deserved it. She thought for half a second about dropping the ruse, about telling Will everything, but she wasn’t sure that Will would help her even if he knew the truth. He loved Daisy more than he loved her, and he would always take her side.
“I’m the same person I’ve always been. It’s not my fault you never noticed,” Hana said after a beat. She turned and left the kitchen, and Will followed her. He pushed at her shoulder, and it sent her off balance enough that she nearly fell over.
“You never deserved her,” Will spat.
Hana looked up at him, and she realized she’d never seen him so angry. “You should go, Will. I can’t go back in time and become a better person, no matter how much I want to. I can’t do anything to fix things between Daisy and I. I can’t unbreak her heart.”
“You should have been better. You should have known better. Your dad would be ashamed of the person you became,” Will said.
“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Hana snapped. Will seemed spurred on by her anger, like he was feeding off it.
Hana was doing this wrong. Every part of her investigation was failing in one way or another. She couldn’t find definite proof that her uncle paid off Jake Hansen, she didn’t know who to trust and trying to keep the people she loved safe she was just hurting them. She was in so far over her head that she was struggling to breathe through it all.
She hoped that Will could forgive her eventually. Will knew what it was like to lose a parent, and maybe someday he would empathize with her burning need to know what caused her father’s death. He was the one that came to Hana’s house one day when they were eight and nine, fuming because Henry wouldn’t tell him more about his mother’s death. Hana sat with him and helped him look up articles about the accident she died in. They searched on the family desktop without clearing the history, and when Hana’s mother checked it and asked Hana why she was looking it up, Hana told the truth. The next time Will came over, Noriko pulled him aside and promised she wouldn’t tell Henry. Will had cried in her arms. What Hana remembered most clearly was Noriko saying that he needed to stop looking for answers to questions that didn’t really matter.
Hana met Will’s eyes and flinched back at his perfect picture of righteous fury. Something in his eyes made her blood run cold. He took a step forward, and she stepped back.
“Will? What are you doing?” Hana asked. Maybe if she could calm him down, he wouldn’t do anything stupid.
“You think just because you’re rich and beautiful you can do whatever you want?” he seethed, pushing Hana again. She stumbled but regained her balance quickly and continued backing up, Will matching her movements step for step.
“I, what? Will, look, you’re scaring me. I can explain, please—”
“I told you I would kill you if you ever broke Daisy’s heart.”
Hana put up her hands in surrender. “Will, I can explain — I promise, I have my reasons for telling her now. I was — I’m looking into my dad’s death, and I think there’s something more. I got this note threatening me, threatening Daisy, and—”
“Bullshit!” Will yelled. “Mark’s killer is dead. Stop trying to make up ridiculous excuses for breaking Daisy’s heart.”
“I promise — I can show you the note. I couldn’t let her get hurt because of me.”
“She’s already hurt because of you,” Will spat.
Hana flinched back, tears pricking her eyes. “But she’s safe. I just wanted her to be safe. I promise, I’m not lying.”
“Who sent it?”
“I don’t know. There’s something not right about my father’s death, and I’ve been looking into it, but I haven’t been able to find concrete proof yet.”
“So you didn’t cheat on Daisy, and you only told her that her to keep her safe?”
“I, well ...” Hana was never any good at lying to Will, and he saw it in her eyes right away.
“Oh, I see. You were going to just keep lying to her. If none of this happened, would you have just hidden this from her forever?”
Hana kept backing up, her hands raised defensively in front of her. “No, that’s not it, and I — I was an idiot, okay? I made a mistake, and I wasn’t brave enough to tell Daisy until it was for her own good. I didn’t want to hurt her.”
If she could just get to the back door, she could run to a neighbor. Will could cool off. But she only got one step into the living room before Will grabbed her around her upper arm, yanking her back in the hall and sending her falling into the hardwood floor. She cried out in pain when her head slammed into the wall, but she struggled back to her feet to face Will. It was like the boy she grew up with was completely gone, replaced with an angry man she didn't recognize.
“Well, you did hurt her the moment you cheated on her with some slut. You’re just like all the other idiotic rich bitches in the world — you think you can do whatever you want without any consequences,” Will snapped.
Hana was crying in earnest now. “What? Will, that’s not me. I never — this isn’t a consequence of my actions. Just — please, Will, I know you’re better than this.”
“You don’t know shit about me! You have no idea what it’s like to be me!”
“I don’t. You’re right. But I know the kind of person Daisy thinks you are. You’re better than this. I’ll hurt forever for what I did to Daisy. This — this will hurt her. If she finds out about this, it’ll kill her,” Hana said. She knew it was a mistake when she saw the stormy look on his face.
“You don’t get to tell me about Daisy. You’ve taken yourself out of her life, and I’m just supporting your decision.”
“Will, you’ll destroy your future if anyone finds out.”
Will wasn’t going to listen to reason, though. Hana tried to make a break for the front door, but she wasn't fast enough.
Will caught up to her in seconds, grabbing her arm again and whipping hair around so fast her legs tangled beneath her. He shoved her away once she was facing him, but she was still off balance, and she fell backwards.
There was a moment as Hana fell when she realized her head was going to hit the marble plant stand in the foyer. Her stomach dropped, her reflexes too slow to react, and the swoosh of fear, of knowing, made her think of the first time she kissed Daisy. Her stomach dropped almost the same way, like it knew what was happening would change her forever.
The last thing she saw was Will reaching for her, anger replaced with fear.
Then, there was nothing.