The sun was beginning to rise over Kingdomland. The sky churned with black smoke as far as the eye could see, but dawn light still broke through to the swamp.
“Whiffs and stinks! I’m s’posed to smell like strawbleflowers, not pong gobbins,” grumbled Princess Rainbow. The heir to the throne of Kingdomland was a plump five-year-old in a rose pink dress decorated with tiny diamonds. She was perched on the shoulders of her bodyguard, Man-Lor, a mammoth of a man clad in little more than a furry loincloth, and toting the bound Krud and Kroop under each arm.
“Swamp smells like Man-Lor’s toilet,” noted Man-Lor. “And Man-Lor’s toilet does not flush.”
“Baa,” agreed Frog’s trusty steed, Sheriff Explosion the sheep, as he perched on a tree branch to avoid the stagnant swamp water.
“Take that!” Frog cried, hacking madly at the decimated Kroakan traceships with his sword. “Taste the SWISH! and Ka-SLICE! of Basil Rathbone, the most unbreakable sword in the world! Eat the justice! Eat it!”
“Silly Greeny,” huffed the princess. “Why is he smash-ting everything that’s already been smash-ted?”
“Baa,” offered Sheriff Explosion.
“Because Frog is the son of King Kroak,” came the more helpful reply. From behind a tree emerged Kryl, a slender Kroakan decked in flowing robes, with long antennae protruding from her forehead. “The King intended all of his one thousand sons to be merciless conquerors.”
“So does that mean Greeny’s going bad?” asked Princess Rainbow, peering suspiciously at Frog’s white-daubed Kroakan armour. “He’s even starting to dress bad.”
“No, of course not. I’m Frog’s Keeper, Princess. I know him. He’s…” Kryl trailed off, watching Frog attack the traceships.
“Mightiness pie in your face!” roared Frog.
“Well, he is smash-ting the ay’lun invaders at least,” declared the princess. She put her hands on her hips. “With the help of the Pretty Princess Lovely Biscuit Team.”
“That is not our name!” cried Frog, hopping down from the traceship wreckage into the waist-deep water. “I already gave us a name that inspires lip-trembles and pant-wetting! We are … the Defeat All Foes Team!”
“That’s daft,” replied the princess. “It ackshully spells it. D-A-F-T.”
“That’s not important!” snapped Frog. He swished his sword in the air. “What’s important is that Basil Rathbone here is spoiling for another fight and I’m spoiling to spoil the Kroakans. I’ll spoil them to pieces!”
“Perhaps we should get these prisoners back to the royal palace before the rest of their squadron turns up…” suggested Kryl.
“Baa,” agreed Sheriff Explosion.
“Why do we always have to take them to my house?” groaned Princess Rainbow. “What if they ex-scape and steal my dresses?”
“We’ve got to put them somewhere, Princess Brain-Slow,” tutted Frog. “Anyway, we’ve stolen enough Kroakan prison domes to hold a million Kroakans … maybe even a hundred.”
“As long as no one finds them,” added Kryl. “The more prisoners we have, the harder they are to conceal.”
“Which is why the King and Queen are keeping an eye on them,” sighed Frog, suddenly impatient. “Look, I’ve been doing world-saving all week and I’ve captured bumbles knows how many Kroakans. I’m getting mighterier by the minute! Even my kroak cloak is more skilled up. I can turn myself one hundred per cent invisible now – even my undies!”
“Yes, but—” Kryl began.
“You said we should run and hide from the invaders,” added Frog sternly. “You didn’t believe I could do it, and I did it!”
“We did it,” added Princess Rainbow. “Pretty Princess Lovely Biscuit—”
“That is not our name!” snapped Frog.