DJ visited Tom and Bette as soon as his homework was finished, bringing two new friends with him. Cormac and Anna from the Lodge. They were all charmed with Bette and the feeling was mutual. They sat and chatted for a few minutes, then disappeared off to play on the swings in Fairview Park.
‘Hey, Doc.’
Tom looked up and saw a couple of the volunteers who helped the homeless heading his way. Whenever he faced the bad in this world, he thought of those who gave up their time every night, for no reason other than to help others.
‘Soup? Or a sandwich?’ they offered. He wasn’t hungry but he took both all the same. He’d learned over the years that it was better to accept food when it was offered and keep it until he was hungry. ‘Do you want to come back to the shelter? We’re heading in soon, so we can give you a lift.’
‘No, thanks. I’m exactly where I want to be,’ Tom told them.
‘All right, mate. We’ll be back tomorrow. Sleep well.’
They walked on, scouring the park as they looked for more of the invisible. Those who most people ignored and walked past.
The evening soon changed to night, and the park changed, too. Trees cast dark shadows on the ground and every sound seemed electrified as it bounced around the near-empty place. It had been a big day. Lunch with Ruth, then DJ and his friends. A good day. Yesterday, for the first time in years, he had welcomed the day, waiting to see what it unfolded. He sensed that it had surprises for him, like it used to. Back then. With Cathy. He set up his bed, climbed into his sleeping bag, and closed his eyes to the now.
18 October, a date of significance for Tom and Cathy. The day they met, Tom’s proposal, their wedding day.
‘Happy Anniversary,’ Tom said, and they swapped cards with hearts and flowers on the front.
‘No baby talk today,’ Cathy promised. It was her attempt to bring back normal. ‘Or tonight when we go out for dinner.’
Just before Tom saw his last patient before lunch, Cathy called him. ‘Come upstairs. Now. Please.’
Tom didn’t ask why, he simply jumped up, shouting to Breda, ‘Back as soon as possible.’
Ever unflappable, Breda told him to go on up, that she would keep the last patient in their waiting room happy with tea, if need be.
He ran upstairs taking two steps at a time, calling out Cathy’s name. His heart hammered in his chest and he found himself crossing his fingers on both hands behind his back, in the way he had done as a young boy, when he made a wish. There had been something in her voice. He was sure he’d heard a tremor in it when she called. It was not one of upset, it was one of excitement.
Please let me be right. Please.
She was standing in the centre of the living room, her back to him. And when she heard him approach she turned around slowly, keeping her arms behind her. His eyes searched her face and he knew without the need of any words of confirmation from her.
‘I’m breaking my promise not to talk babies today.’
He held his breath.
‘You see, it appears you were right all along,’ she whispered.
‘I usually am,’ Tom replied. He took a step closer.
‘I’m especially glad you’re right about this.’ Her eyes danced with joy and she held up three pregnancy tests. ‘I would have done more, but I ran out of pee.’
Tom laughed. Or maybe he cried. Probably both. He knew that he would never again feel joy like they were experiencing in their flat right now. They had done it. They were going to have a family of their own.
‘I knew my boys could swim!’ Tom said as he grabbed Cathy and he danced her around the room. Their laughter filled the air, their flat swelled with happiness.
‘We are literally dancing for joy,’ Cathy said.
‘You have really excelled this year at the whole anniversary present giving,’ Tom said.
‘This is your early Christmas present, too!’ Cathy joked.
‘You need never buy me another gift again. Nothing could ever beat this, my darling,’ Tom said.
Wait and see.
They did just that and look!
When Tom went back downstairs he ran into the waiting room, unable to help himself. He stood in the middle of the square room, with a big goofy grin on his face. Breda followed him into the room, standing beside him.
‘Are you OK? Is Cathy OK?’ she asked.
‘I’m going to be a daddy!’ he screamed, and she laughed with him.
‘Luckiest day of my life, this day,’ Tom said.
Breda was crying and he pulled her in for a tight hug.
‘Lucky, lucky baby, having you and Cathy as parents.’
Tom wasn’t sure how he managed to get through the rest of the day. He would find himself daydreaming about the possibilities of their future. Would they have a boy or a girl? He didn’t care. Either way, he would spend every day of his life working at being the best possible father he could be.
When his last patient walked out of the surgery, Tom sat down in his office and for a moment, felt a rush of overwhelming fear paralyse him. His wife, his beautiful wife, was pregnant. As a doctor he had seen so many complications that being pregnant caused. The thought of her health being compromised in any way scared him.
‘I’ll lock up. You go on up,’ Breda said, walking into the room. Then taking in his face, she walked over and sat down on a chair opposite him. ‘Oh, you got there quickly.’
‘Got where?’
‘To the “Oh no, I’m terrified” stage! It took my husband a little longer.’
‘That obvious?’
‘The unflappable Mr Cool finally flaps,’ Breda teased.
‘Most children are loved even before their arrival, right?’ Tom asked.
‘Yes. Thankfully, in the main that’s true.’
‘I know it’s unfair to say that this child is wanted any more than anyone else’s. But it feels like that to me.’ His eyes filled with tears and he shook his head to stop them.
‘You’ve been dreaming about this day for a long time,’ Breda said. ‘It’s no wonder you are so emotional.’
‘I’ve wanted to be a father long before I ever managed to persuade Cathy to be my wife. I can’t believe it’s finally going to happen. I’m scared I’ll mess it up.’
‘Listen, Tom, no father or mother knows what the hell they are doing when they become a parent. You just make it up as you go along and do the best you can. You and Cathy are far better placed than most parents. You’re a doctor, Cathy is a social-care worker. Between you both, I have no doubt you’ll do beautifully.’
Tom relaxed with each word Breda spoke. It was going to be OK.
‘I have so much to do. I need to buy a house. And my car is totally unsuitable and unsafe for a baby.’ He glanced out the surgery window and took a look at the battered old Volkswagen he’d owned since university. It was held together with rust and dirt, but he loved it and up to now had refused to change it.
‘Maybe. But that can wait. Your wife, however, will be upstairs wondering where you are. You need to get ready for your anniversary meal.’
He stood up and kissed Breda lightly on her cheek. ‘I’d be lost without you.’
‘I know. You can be a right eejit sometimes.’
‘Good job I’m a charming fecker …’ he answered with a laugh then he ran upstairs to Cathy.
He found her lying on the couch fast asleep, a magazine on her lap, opened on a page showing a mother cuddling her baby.
First trimester tiredness. A rush of tenderness overcame him. His darling, beloved Cathy. Carrying their child. He needed to cop the fuck on. He had a job to do now. He had to protect them both. Pulling a throw from the chair beside him, he gently laid it over his wife.