What man wears beneath his trousers
Women confide, seldom arouses
Silken briefs or satin thong
Will make her giggle loud and long
Of course, you’ll never stand a chance
in saggy, Y-front underpants
Wear boxer shorts, ideally plain
(Not Disney, cartoons are a pain
in the bum) Tartan only for the Scots
No stars and stripes, no polka dots
No union jacks or football logos
Phallic jokes? Definitely no-noes
Regard your underwear as a friendly go-between
So teach it manners, and above all, keep it clean.