“An excellent read—full of guidance and practical, ageless wisdom for teens who are looking to better themselves.”
—Robert W. Hasselmann, MA, middle school teacher, Robbins, IL
“As with other books written by the author on this subject, this is easy to read, makes sense, and easy to apply with my clients individually, in group settings, or in family therapy sessions. My clients’ ages range between ten and twenty-three, and many are at-risk youth, children, and families. I like using the book for ideas to assist clients who struggle with depression, bullying, and anxiety. They find the information applicable as they read and journal, and we process new skills. The information is therapeutic and backed by empirically sound research. This is not merely a ‘self-help’ book. This book is a great tool I’ve added to my counseling toolbox.”
—Nancy DeWeese, MAMHC, LPC, family therapist with Professional Services Group
“Excellent resource that can be used by everyone—young and old! ‘Perceive it, believe it, achieve it!’ is a thought and activity process in the book that can be used in every area of life. In addition, the fifty simple ways to build confidence are just that—simple. Finally, the exercises are easily personalized for each person. Highly recommended! Great workbook!”
—Kim Kanish, blended case manager, Family Psychological Association
“Lisa Schab’s The Self-Esteem Habit for Teens is a well-articulated definition of self-esteem and how a teen can acquire and strengthen it in their life. It’s really simple and easy to follow, builds on itself, and it’s not boring.… This manual is a ‘must-have’ for any teen who wants to feel good about themselves.”
—Edward J. Nekarda, LCSW, BCD, MDiv, psychotherapist in private practice, attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) specialist, and certified rapid trauma resolution therapist
“A wonderful resource and guide for all ages. The exercises in this book are easy to follow and there is something to appeal to almost everyone looking for a self-esteem boost or reset. I finished reading with the thought that I wish I would have had this when I was a teen.”
—Ann Almgren, president at Harvard Diggins City Library Board, Harvard Diggins Library, Harvard, IL
This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher is not engaged in rendering psychological, financial, legal, or other professional services. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, the services of a competent professional should be sought.
Distributed in Canada by Raincoast Books
Copyright © 2017 by Lisa M. Schab
Instant Help Books
An imprint of New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
5674 Shattuck Avenue
Oakland, CA 94609
www.newharbinger.com
Cover design by Amy Shoup
Acquired by Tesilya Hanauer
Edited by Karen Schader
All Rights Reserved
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data on file
This book is dedicated to my great-grandfather Louis A. Wiemann (1854–1934), a wise and successful man—with healthy self-esteem!
by Louis Wiemann
Be good. The straight path is the only path that leads to Health and Happiness.
Do the best you can with your own faults—as nobody is perfect.
Associate with happy people.
Look at Life from the right angle and remember that on the whole your disappointments most likely were beneficial.
Have a Plan in Life and a Hobby.
Use one thing to balance another.
If you are a mental worker choose a Hobby which requires exercise and vice versa…
Change your surrounding sometimes.
If you don’t travel, alter the interior of your house, office, et cetera…
Belong to some club.
Belong to some religion.
Believe in people. Don’t allow any of your disappointments to destroy your faith in people.Contents
Get Started: The First Six Steps to Healthy Self-Esteem 1
part 1: Positive Thoughts 17
1. Recognize Your Power 19
2. Claim Your Value and Worth 22
3. Understand and Release Devaluing Messages 26
4. Choose Positive Self-Messages 30
5. Adjust Your Attitude 33
6. Practice Gratitude 36
7. Celebrate Your Strengths 39
8. Embrace Your Differences 43
9. View Yourself with Compassion 46
10. Learn from Your Mistakes 49
11. Compare to Yourself, Not to Others 52
12. Love Your Body 55
13. See Infinite Possibilities 58
14. Focus on the Present Moment 61
15. Avoid Overgeneralizing 65
16. Don’t Take Everything Personally 68
17. Believe in Abundance 72
18. See the Bigger Picture 75
19. Eliminate All-or-Nothing Thinking 78
20. Realize No One Has a Perfect Life 81
21. Think from the Facts, Not the Feeling 84
22. Know It’s Okay If Not Everyone Likes You 87
23. Refuse to Have a Pity Party 90
24. Accept Your Journey 93
25. Find More Than One Source for Self-Esteem 96
part 2: Positive Actions 99
26. Get to Know Your Authentic Self 101
27. Live from Your Authentic Self 104
28. Use Mindful Breathing to Stay Calm and Clear 107
29. Manage Your Feelings 110
30. Learn to Tolerate Discomfort 114
31. Set Realistic Goals 117
32. Increase Your Peace 120
33. Use Problem-Solving Skills 124
34. Make Positive Decisions 127
35. Act with Conviction 130
36. Take Responsibility Instead of Blaming 133
37. Work with Your Weaknesses 136
38. Face Challenges Head-On 139
39. Turn Things Around 143
40. Practice Basic Social Skills 146
41. Act Assertively 150
42. Set Healthy Boundaries 153
43. Choose Friends Who Value and Respect You 156
44. Run Your Own Life 159
45. Surround Yourself with Positivity 162
46. Move Your Body 165
47. Try New Things 169
48. Wear a Smile 172
49. Look the Part of Healthy Self-Esteem 175
50. Ask for Help 178
Ending Notes 181
Acknowledgments 183