Willow
“Your door has been fixed.”
I glanced at Ronan. “The apartment door?”
“Yes. I talked to the landlord and had someone repair it. They finished last night.”
It was the morning following the most magical day of my life. I’d been midway through dressing when Ronan had walked into the spare bedroom—which I hadn’t been using, except to store clothes—and made his announcement.
“Thank you.” I wrapped my arms around his waist. “I hadn’t even thought of that.”
I’d been so wrapped up in Tom’s drama and my newfound love life that I’d barely thought of the apartment at all. I supposed I should head back there soon. I couldn’t continue to stay at Ronan’s place indefinitely, however much I wanted to.
“A cleaning crew has been in, so it’s looking as close to normal as possible,” he added. “They’ve reported that a few things are broken, but the damage is reasonably limited.”
“That’s great.”
Although I still didn’t think I’d be able to live there. Sage would be flying into Chicago later this morning, and we could discuss our search for a new apartment when she arrived. We’d already agreed during a phone call that ours would never feel safe. We just needed to put this nastiness behind us and move on.
I pulled away from him, went to my suitcase, and started folding the items laid on the bed.
“What are you doing?” Something in his tone made me look up, and when I did, his brow was furrowed.
“Packing my things.” I’d thought that was obvious.
“Why?”
I stopped to give him my full attention. “Because you’ve taken care of the mess at my place, and I’m safe now, so I should head home today.”
He didn’t seem pleased by that.
I put my hands on my hips, trying to figure out what was bothering him. He’d had the door fixed and the apartment cleaned, but didn’t want me to go back there? Or was I reading him wrong?
“You could just stay here,” he suggested. “I’d be happy to offset your portion of the rent to make sure it’s still affordable for Sage.”
My jaw dropped. “You what?” I fell back a step. “Are you asking me to move in with you?”
“I like having you here, and we don’t know whether Petrov has completely backed off yet. It wouldn’t hurt to wait until we know for sure.”
I cocked my head, unsure how to feel about his offer. I liked the idea of him wanting me around, but things were moving very quickly considering we hadn’t been together for more than a few days. “So, would this be temporary, or for the foreseeable future?”
He shrugged. “Whatever makes you more willing to say yes.”
Part of me wanted to laugh and agree, but he couldn’t just ask me to move in like that and expect me to go with the flow without telling me exactly what I’d be agreeing to.
“No,” I said slowly. “I need an actual answer.”
“The second option then.”
“Oh, wow.” I rubbed my temples. I was tempted to go along with his suggestion without questioning anything, but much as I wanted Ronan in my future, the past few days had been insane, and we both needed time to think. I finally had my feet firmly beneath me, and I needed to be sure that we both knew where our relationship was going. “Most people date for months before they move in together.”
The furrow between his brows deepened. “There’s no rule that says it has to be that way. We can do this however works for us. I want you close.” He stepped closer and put his hands on my waist. “I love you.”
My heart exploded with warmth. I’d never get used to hearing him say that. I also liked that he knew what he wanted. Nevertheless, part of me wondered if his desire for me to move in was a reaction to the danger I’d been in and if he’d regret it down the road. Without the events that had pushed us together, would he still want to move in so quickly? He was an inherently protective man, and I needed to be careful that his motivation to have me here was coming from the right place.
“I love you too.” I stretched up to kiss him, then allowed my body to sink onto his, letting him support me. “You’re amazing. But are you sure you aren’t making different decisions than you usually would because you’re worried about me?”
His facial muscles twitched, and he didn’t seem to know how to react. For a long moment, he stayed quiet, and his silence told me what I needed to know. Perhaps concern for my safety wasn’t the whole reason for his invitation to stay, but it was at least part of it, and I wouldn’t be moving in until his sole motive was the desire to keep me close each and every day.
“You mentioned a couple of nights ago that I might see you as some savior,” I reminded him. “You kind of are my savior, but that’s not the only reason I love you. You’re thoughtful, honorable, and you have a good heart. It might be a bit walled off, but it’s generous and loving. The fact you even wondered about my reasons for being with you makes me think you need to be sure that I’m with you for who you are, not what you can give me, and I need to know that you’re inviting me to stay for the right reasons. We’re not at that place yet.”
Ronan
This conversation was not going according to plan. I tried to think of a way to bring us back to the ease we’d shared earlier.
She was right though. Even if it had been brief, I’d worried about where her feelings might have been coming from. But I didn’t want to lose her, and my chest tightened with panic at the memory of those men trying to grab her off the street.
I didn’t know for certain she was safe yet. We needed to wait it out.
“I won’t be able to think straight if you leave.”
She kissed me chastely. “Then have someone keep an eye on me. I promise not to do anything risky. Sage and I will find a new place, and you and I can go on a proper date. See where things lead.”
“There’s no point in dating,” I growled, my patience wearing thin. “I already know I want you.”
“I want you too. But everything has been so topsy-turvy. It’s not the right time to make a big decision like moving in together.”
My heart sank. I wanted to argue, but I couldn’t. She was right, and I didn’t want to be another man trying to push her around. What if I got her here and she resented me for rushing things? Just because I was completely certain of what I felt for her didn’t mean she was in the same emotional space. I was scared to let her go in case she didn’t come back, but it was time to man up and trust her.
“Okay, that’s fair.” I stepped away from her. “If you need to leave, then go. But I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere.”
She swiped at her eyes, which were shining with emotion.
“I love you,” she whispered, and as she closed the distance between us to kiss me again, I felt something crack in my heart.
I knew this wasn’t goodbye, but it sure as hell felt like it.
Willow
I managed to get through a day at work, although I spent way too much time replaying our conversation in my head. When I arrived back at our apartment and saw the new door Ronan had organized to have installed, my chest squeezed. It was a strange feeling, knowing he was looking out for me. I hated the thought I might have hurt him, but we both needed to know this relationship wasn’t just a result of the situation we’d found ourselves in.
“Willow?” Sage asked as I let myself in and dropped my bag on the floor. She’d messaged a couple of hours ago to let me know she’d made it back safely. “Are you all right?”
The sight of her beloved face lifted my spirits, and I flew at her with open arms. She caught me in an embrace and hugged me tight.
“I’m sorry I got you involved in Tom’s mess.” It was my millionth apology to her.
“It wasn’t your fault.” She gestured to the sofa. “Come sit down. I want to hear everything. Then we can burn some of my namesake to clear out the lingering negative energy from the break-in.”
She knelt in front of the coffee table and lit a pair of tall candles I hadn’t previously noticed. They must have been new. She rubbed a white crystal positioned between them before sitting on the sofa.
I joined her and slipped my hand into hers.
“So, what happened?” Sage asked.
I word-vomited the whole story, ending with my conversation with Ronan this morning. “I haven’t seen him since I left his place.”
She cocked her head. “He didn’t drop by to see you at work?”
“No.” I sighed. “He’s probably giving me space.” I rested my head on her shoulder. “Do you think I’m being ridiculous? Is it crazy to ask questions when the universe has just dropped this perfect man in my lap?”
“No.” She reached for the crystal and passed it to me. “Hold this. It will help.” I took it, more to appease her than anything else. “You’ve been through a lot. It makes sense that your emotions are jumbled. His probably are, too. That doesn’t mean you’re not supposed to be together.” She grinned. “You know how I feel about you two. But you’re allowed to take as long as you need to work through your feelings and make sure that the choices you make are right for you. That’s okay. If he really loves you, he’ll be patient.”
“I hope so.”
I’d accused him of being motivated by the desire to protect me, and while I loved his protective side, I was scared that what I’d said might be the truth.
I really hoped it wasn’t. This was real for me.
Please let it be real for him too.
“Okay.” Sage nodded. “I’m here for whatever you need. Now, shall we burn the sage?”
“Let’s do it.”
Willow
The next morning, I woke alone. There was no Ronan to bring me breakfast or to snuggle in bed with. I ate by myself while Sage led a virtual yoga session in her room, and then locked the apartment when I left for work. I’d gone through the same routine hundreds of times before, but it had never felt so lonely.
I took the stairs to the ground floor and walked out into a gloomy Chicago day.
I’d barely made it twenty steps when I felt a sting in my shoulder. I glanced down and saw a dart sticking out of it.
My head spun.
Holy crap, was that a tranquilizer?
The world swam before my eyes, and the last thing I saw before I passed out was a white van.