Chapter 13
As happy as his words made her, Laura’s ever-present rationale took over. “Adam, you have a lot at stake by having us stay here. What if you get the part? How long is the play in Bristol to run? One month? Two?”
He lifted his shoulders. “Eight weeks, I think. It doesn’t matter.”
Laura shook her head. “I won’t let you risk ruining your reputation. The public loves you. Women adore you and want to be with you. Do you really want to be associated with two women society will forever view as whores?”
“What if Baxter comes after you? How can I go to Bristol without knowing you and Bette are safe or even where you are living?”
The anxiety in his eyes clawed at her heart. “I didn’t come here expecting you to change your plans.”
He tightened his grip on her waist. “Why don’t you turn this around in your mind and conscience, and view my supposed generosity as me investing in my career? I want this to work. I want you in my play. I do not care what people think or say. I know you want this as badly as I. Let’s just take one day at a time. If things are not meant to be, God knows we will find out soon enough.”
Laura’s mind whirled. Since when had she shied away from a challenge or the derision of others? Weren’t her feelings for Adam, rather than the sharp tongues of gossips, what truly made her want to put distance between them? While she’d endured numerous counts of humiliation, his rejection of her would be far worse. He already meant so much more to her weakening heart than any bastard gent out for a quick thrill. The notion of a middle-class actor and a whore without means ever being a real couple was laughable, and she needed to accept that if she was to keep her heart intact.
She swallowed. “Adam, I’m not a grand lady or a friend. I’m not even a relative. I’m a whore who works at the theater selling wares. It’s one thing for me to be here and risk scandal with you to bear it as well, but if people discover you have entrusted me in your home whilst you are out of town, they will assume—”
“That we are lovers? That I have marriage intentions toward you? Let them. Let them think what they want. I am going to Bristol and will hopefully come back with an investor and a few months’ work to fund my play without help from anyone else.” He shook his head. “I am on the brink of achieving what I have always dreamed of. A life of my own making. If you leave, you will not come back. I know it. Worse, I may never find you again. I want to go to Bristol secure in the knowledge you will be here when I return.”
Laura looked into his eyes. The fear that his passion and desperation were borne from his infatuation of her being Lucinda rippled through her once again. Could she accept this might always be the case? Unfairness struck a cruel slash across her heart, yet his obliviousness to her feelings for him was undoubtedly a good and safer route to follow.
That she’d forever regret not taking this opportunity to change hers and Bette’s life forever continued to beat at her conscience. “What will we say to people?”
He shook his head. “Nothing. Everything. I do not care. I learned long ago the only way to move forward is to care less and less what people think. Surely you understand that more than anyone?”
Heat struck her face at his insinuation. She glared. “Because I’m a whore, I suppose.”
He closed his eyes. “I did not mean that.”
“Yes, you did.” Humiliation twisted a knot in her stomach. “That’s exactly what you meant.”
He opened his eyes. “I meant you have known poverty, known the streets, known what it is to eke out a living. This is a chance to do something more. Laura, I am begging you, please, take it.”
Anger and self-worth mixed with fear and longing as her heart beat faster. He had so much more to lose than she did. Whether they succeeded or failed in this fantastical endeavor, wouldn’t she and Bette have somewhere decent to live for a while? Wouldn’t it provide the perfect habitat for Bette to recover?
She met his eyes. They pleaded with her. “If I stay, you cannot hold me responsible for any irreparable damage to your career. I’ve warned you—”
“I do not care.”
Her hands trembled as flutters of excitement churned in her belly. She had to do this. Had to stand up and grasp this chance. She drew in a long breath. “Fine. Then we will stay.”
His brow smoothed and he grinned. “You will?”
She forced a smile. “How can I not?” Despite the risk to my stupid heart. “If my being in your play is important enough you’ll risk your parents’ wrath and society’s disgust, who am I to argue?”
He laughed. “I will look after you and Bette, come what may. I promise.”
Without a word or warning, he pulled her tight to his body and, after a moment’s hesitation, he kissed her. She foolishly allowed the moment to continue. The scent of musk and man drifted mercilessly, the strong confidence of his hands gripping her, owning her, was more sensual an experience than she could remember wanting.
She’d seen love in the eyes of others, knew it existed. Now there was every possibility she was falling into the same trap she only had once before. Yet, it wasn’t hearts and flowers as she’d always dreamed; it was terrifying and left her completely out of control of her sanity and actions.
His tongue teased and tormented the edge of her lip. Her nipples tightened as she fought every primal instinct in her body. Resistance was futile. It was beyond the realms of her imagination Adam would ever care for her the same way she did him. He was in love with a character. Not her. For now, though, she was powerless not to take this moment. To keep the soft caress of his lips as a memory for the rest of her life.
The passion pulsed between them and Laura slid her hands over the muscled planes of his shoulders. They were rock hard beneath the thin silk of his shirt. Any second now he would stop the madness, step back, and realize what he was doing.
He pulled her closer and kissed her deeper. Laura exhaled a soft moan. The anticipated pleasure of basking in this simple yet erotic need from him, of what she’d imagined it would be like to be desired by him, was too much to resist. She hungrily slipped her tongue into his mouth and gripped her fingers in his hair. He pulled back to feast on her neck.
“I want to make love to you, Laura. I have to.”
The soft brush of his breath and the urgency of his tongue ripped through her common sense, obliterating it and leaving it shattered and useless at her feet. She’d take, for her. She wanted this on a physical level . . . nothing more. She could do this and not suffer because of it. Hadn’t she experienced more heartache through her struggles to be fed and warm than she ever had at the hands of a man? She knew how to rise above such futile emotions and accept the physical was more often than not a means to an end.
You fool. You damn fool. Stop this. Stop it now!
She stepped back. “You don’t want me. You want Lucinda.”
“I want you, Laura. You excite something so deep in me I feel I might die from it. That moment I saw you in the theater . . .” He shook his head, his gaze caressing her face, hair, and lips. “I knew. I knew you were there entirely for me. For us.”
She wet her lips and fought for the words to deny the exact same bolt of lightning hadn’t hit her where she stood. “It’s lust, Adam. Nothing more.”
His face flushed. “I have no idea what this is, but it is so much more than lust. Let me show you what you mean to me, what you do to me. Please.”
The ardent intensity of his eyes and the tightened line of his jaw hitched her nerves and inflamed her desire. He was so masculine. So damn sure of everything he did and said. Her heart hammered and her center pulled with unsated desire. “I’m not yours.”
“I know that.”
“This is my decision. I’ll make love with you, Adam . . . but to do so is my decision.”
He nodded, his gaze dropping to her mouth. “Yes.”
Her stomach twisted with a yearning so deep, her breath turned harried. “Then let’s go to bed.”
He lifted her into his arms. With her legs slung over one arm and his other secured around her back as though she weighed little more than a feather, he carried her from the drawing room and upstairs. Laura’s heart raced and her body came alive with arousal like she’d never known. She wanted to feel his skin under her fingers, his mouth on every part of her.
She closed her eyes and mind to the doubts that threatened and kissed his jaw as he carried her into a room and gently lowered her to her feet. She opened her eyes and his lips found hers as his hands worked on the buttons at the front of her dress and hers at his shirt. It would take forever for him to undress her and impatience made her step back. She trembled. “Let me.”
As fast as she could, without completely abandoning all decorum, she shed her dress and crinoline before bending to untie and remove her boots. At last, she tossed them aside and looked up. Adam pulled open his shirt and yanked it from his trousers. He took off his boots and dropped his trousers and underwear. Her study dropped to his groin. Her breath hitched. God, he was beautiful. Her cunny twitched as she lifted her chemise over her head and stood naked before him.
His gaze moved to her breasts, to her revealed bush, and his eyes darkened with desire. “Look at you.”
Laura smiled as she stepped into his arms. He cupped her breast in his hand, his thumb roaming over her nipple until it hardened. She quivered like an inexperienced woman, confused yet desperate for a lover’s touch. Her heart swelled with the desire to know this man. No matter how many times she told herself this was physical, that she was in control, the welcome relief that her years of whoring and her mother’s derogatory words hadn’t hardened her heart was overwhelming. She was falling desperately in love.
Slowly, Adam steered her backward. She surrendered her intuitive need for control and let him lead her. The tip of his cock touched her belly and his moisture wet her skin. She relished the tingling of warmth readying her core. They reached his huge bed, its surround elegantly worked in golden brass.
She hesitated. She had never bedded with a man in such romantic grandeur. “Adam, I don’t think—”
“I want you in my bed. I want you where no other woman has lain with me. I want you to understand this is not about the play.” He ran his gaze over every inch of her face. “This is not about the theater, or Lucinda, or what happens tomorrow. This is about you and me. Now.”
Her heart melted as sanity fled and she nodded. Was he saying her affection was reciprocated? Joy and yearning filled her with a rush of heat and she kissed him.
He eased her back onto the bed. It was as soft as duck down beneath her. She sank into the coverlet as he lay down beside her. His hands roamed from the curve of her breast, over her ribs, to her waist and hip. Their kiss deepened. She clawed her hands up his biceps and onto his incredible shoulders once more.
Without warning, he plunged two fingers deep inside her most intimate place and Laura stared into his eyes, her mouth agape and her arousal soaring. The intense mix of tenderness in his eyes and roughness of his touch was more than she could stand. Her impatience heightened and she reached between them to grip his hardened cock. He was big and wide in her palm and she massaged him, running her fingers over his balls and across his thighs. Satisfaction furled in her stomach when his breathing turned harried.
He rubbed her expertly. Faster and harder. Their breaths became one until she wanted to scream aloud from the agonizing torment. She wanted him inside her, deep and unyielding, yet she wouldn’t confess her yearning aloud. He had to want her and take her as he dreamed and wanted. She was surrendering everything to him and he was taking a huge risk having a whore in his bed—no matter how much he wanted her to believe otherwise.
“I have to have you.” His breath whispered hot against her breast before he sucked her nipple into his mouth.
“Then have me, Adam. Please.”
He lifted his head and looked into her eyes. “Do you want me as I want you? Truly?”
She nodded. The threat of his rejection vanished. Sincerity and vulnerability shone in his eyes and she understood, in that moment, he wanted her as equally as she wanted him. Who was she to say this wasn’t just as terrifying for him? She wouldn’t be a person so jaded by mankind to paint another’s feelings in ignorance. He smiled and kept his gaze on hers as he slid between her open thighs.
With the tender persuasion of a true gentleman, he teased his cock against her most sensitive spot before sliding lower and entering her. Relief pushed a rush of air from her lungs, which he captured in a kiss.
Together, they moved. Thrust for thrust, she held him as he took her deeper and deeper. Their need increased in intensity, as did their sexing until nothing could have stopped her from going over the edge for the second time in her life.
“Oh, God, Adam . . .”
The words whispered from her lips as she came. A second passed before he thrust hard to the hilt and, sucking his breath between his teeth, he emptied his seed inside her. He collapsed with his head at her breast, his fingers trembling as he gripped her thigh.
“Laura.”
She closed her eyes and held him to her, hoping he couldn’t hear her heart breaking. The last and only time a man had truly made love to her, the act had planted the seed of a baby. Her baby. Her precious baby that never lived . . .
Adam woke to gray morning light coloring the room. He turned his head to the side, hoping she would still be there but knowing Laura would have fled his bedroom as soon as possible. He rolled over to put his face to where she had lain. The pillow was cold and he squeezed his eyes shut. She must have left hours ago. Scared of discovery . . . or scared of him? What would happen now? Would everything change between them? He had promised Monica he would not pressure Laura with his intensity and now he had made love to her.
He rolled over onto his back and strained his ears to any noise from within the house. Any noise that would tell him Laura still remained and had not fled more than the bedroom.
Nothing.
He groaned. “What in God’s name have I done?”
He scrambled from the bed and wrapped himself in his robe. He strode across the room, opened the door, and stepped onto the landing. Laura’s and Bette’s bedroom doors were open. His heart pounded as he hurried first into Laura’s room. Her bed was neatly made, everything in its place.
“No, you promised. You promised you would stay.” He moved to the dresser and yanked open a drawer.
Laughter bubbled in his throat as relief rushed through him. Her cotton underwear lay neatly folded inside. He left the room and once he reached the stairs, the muted sound of female chatter filtered from the kitchen. He rushed downstairs and followed Laura’s and Bette’s voices.
He stood at the kitchen door. “Good morning, ladies.”
Bette sat at the table while Laura fried eggs at the stove. She turned and their eyes locked for a moment before she snatched her attention back to her task. “Good morning.”
His stomach rolled with uncertainty and Adam forced his wavering smile to stay in place as he faced Bette. She studied him with wizened intensity. “Good morning, Mr. Lacey. Did you sleep well? You certainly woke in a hurry.” She lifted an eyebrow and ran a glance down the length of him.
He tightened the belt of his robe. The teasing tone of her voice left no doubt she knew of Laura spending time in his bed. He swallowed and pulled out the chair beside hers. “I did. And how did you sleep?”
Her eyes glinted. “Not too badly . . . considering some strange knocking on my wall during the night.”
He glanced at Laura. Her shoulders were up around her ears. “Is that so?”
Bette reached for her tea. “Yep, went on for a mighty long time before everything fell silent. Whoever made the noise had some tenacity, that’s for sure.”
Laura slammed a plate of toast and eggs on the table in front of Bette. “Eat.”
Bette winked at him and Adam bit back a laugh. When he looked up, Laura glared at him with enough venom to down a horse. He cleared his throat. “Why don’t you sit and have your breakfast? I can make mine.”
She smiled sweetly. “No, you sit there. I’ll see to you.”
Bette sniggered.
Adam glanced at her bowed head. The woman was ill, yet her humor and torment were rife. It was no wonder Laura cherished the ground she walked on. With all the hardships they had undoubtedly had to endure, Bette’s wickedness would have gone a long way in keeping the desperation at bay.
Laura put two laden plates on the table and slid into the chair opposite him.
Adam picked up his knife and fork, and cut into his egg. He brought it to his mouth and chewed, his gaze on her flushed face. “This is delicious, thank you.”
Finally, she met his eyes. Even with Bette’s teasing, happiness brightened her eyes. “You’re welcome.”
He smiled and the next few minutes passed in silence as they ate.
“Nurse and I are going to take Bette for a stroll in the park this morning.” Laura reached for her teacup. “What are your plans today?”
“I am meeting Victor for a spot of lunch later to discuss the audition in Bristol. I need this part just to keep me in finances, and any direction he can give will help me secure it.” He paused. “Would you consider joining us?”
She halted with her fork halfway to her mouth. “Pardon?”
“I would like Victor to meet you.” His mind drifted to the dreaded meeting with Annabel and he drew in a shaky breath. “I would like to make a last-ditch attempt to get him to invest in the play. I am convinced if he meets you, he will succumb.”
Her eyes gave nothing away. There was no judging what she thought about his leaving for Bristol now they had made love. He wanted to talk to her. He could not leave without ensuring she knew how important the previous night was to him.
Upon her continuing silence, Adam cut into some toast. “I am meeting Victor at the Pump Room at midday. Do you think you will be back from the park by then?” He looked up.
She stared, her violet eyes wide with uncertainty. “I’m not sure it’s a good idea—”
Bette coughed, the sound raw once again. The day before it had seemed marginally better and Adam frowned. “Are you not feeling any better than yesterday?”
She pressed her hand to her mouth and waved dismissively with the other. “Don’t you go fretting about me. I’ll be right as rain soon enough.”
“I could get the doctor to come and see you. That cough—”
“Will see itself right.” She inhaled a raspy breath and reached for her knife. She pointed it at Laura. “You go with Adam and meet with this fancy director. After everything the man is doing for us, the least you can do is suck up to some rich toff who has the money to make his play happen. I’ll go with Nurse to the park and you go with Adam. I’m sure the two of you have plenty to discuss before you see this director.”
Laura shook her head. “I’m coming with you. Adam is perfectly capable—”
Bette pinned her with a glare. “I said, go.”
Two spots of rose darkened Laura’s cheeks, and when she looked at him, he raised an eyebrow. What had gotten into Bette?
Laura shook her head and raised her hand in surrender. “Fine. I know when I’m not needed. I’ll join you for lunch, Adam. Only, Lord knows what you think I can say or do to change Mr. Talisman’s mind.”
Bette grunted her approval and bit into a slice of toast.
Adam smiled. “That is settled, then. I will leave you ladies to it and get duly washed and dressed.”
Neither Bette nor Laura offered a response. Adam glanced from one woman to the other—sometimes it was best to steer clear of women poised for a fight.