Chapter 16
Laura pushed away from the door and swiped at her cheeks as she hurried upstairs to dress. The walls were closing in on her, and her heart was nothing more than a traitorous problem residing in her chest. She needed to get some things to take with them if she and Bette were to leave today.
Her head ached with tension as she entered the guest bedroom and pulled open a dresser drawer. Where would they go? Bette traveling to London was an impossible notion considering the state of her health. Laura retrieved a shawl and wrapped it around her shoulders. Bristol was no longer an option because Adam would undoubtedly be there for the coming months.
That left the surrounding villages.
She grimaced as she tied her boots. She’d never considered country life before because of her embedded love of the city. Nothing but fields and animals day after day. This might have filled some people with peace, but it filled her with dread and an innate burden of isolation.
Putting her off more than anything was the fact she was in the country when she lost her baby. Traveling to see a lover who promised her the world—who promised farm life would suit her once she left the bustle of the city. What a fool she’d been to think men who came visiting Bath had any intention of giving a teenage whore a future.
It wasn’t a broken promise that lingered in her blood—it was the miscarriage of her unborn child. A baby she’d known was made because the lovemaking felt wholly different than ever before. Tears smarted her eyes and she hastily blinked them away. The passion, hope, and love she’d harbored for her baby’s father had given them the blessing of a child. It was fear the same sensations had pulsed through her under Adam’s caresses and love that frightened her more than anything.
Inhaling a deep breath, she looked around the room. What other choice did she and Bette have but to flee? Yet, she couldn’t ease the fear of what it would do to Bette’s condition, traveling into town, let alone enduring an undoubtedly rough and bumpy ride by coach into Saltford or somewhere similar.
She left the room and headed toward the stairs. They had limited money and limited resources. Lord only knew how they’d manage past a fortnight without her earnings from the theater. The sense of finality that squeezed her heart when speaking with Adam earlier reappeared. Why did she have to fall for the man?
As she descended the stairs, she shivered.
Something was wrong. Here. In the house. A sense of impending doom cast its shadow around her.
She reached the bottom stair and Nurse’s muffled voice filtered from the back room. Laura lifted her chin and shoved her negativity aside. No matter what, her life was settled with Bette. Without her, it tipped and dipped until she felt sick with dread. Doing something tangible would only silence the little voice inside her saying she was running scared from her life, while constantly living through others.
Another shiver ran up her spine and she glanced toward the back room.
She swallowed. Getting them away from Bath would be the best thing in the long run. Her feelings for Adam were just a symptom of wanting more—of wanting a real, bona-fide relationship one day. Undoubtedly, the break from whoring and having a taste of something better had caused her to lose her mind a little. Once she and Bette were packed up and on the road, reality would ground her once more.
Looking to the mirror, she pinned her hat into place with shaking fingers.
“Miss Laura, where are you?” Nurse’s hurried footsteps clattered along the parquet flooring.
Laura froze as every instinct in her body screamed of danger.
She spun around. “What is it? What’s wrong?”
“It’s Miss Windsor. I’m so sorry.”
Panic ripped through Laura’s blood on an icy-cold stream as she looked past Nurse along the hallway. “What do you mean, you’re sorry? Has something happened?”
“She’s dead, miss. I’m sorry.”
Laura stared. No. No. No! “You’re wrong. She can’t be.”
She brushed past Nurse, their shoulders knocking, causing the other woman to stumble backward. “Get Dr. Penders. Now. Run there as fast as you can.”
A vile, metallic horror coated Laura’s mouth as she rushed forward. Don’t do this to me, Bette. Don’t you dare leave me. Tears blurred her vision and she stumbled into the back room. “Bette. Oh, God. No.”
Her beloved friend was slumped motionless in the wheelchair, her head tilted to the side, her mouth gaping lifelessly open, and her pallor that of an old woman. Tears burned and scalded Laura’s eyes as she touched Bette’s forehead and her cheek. She was warm, but so very still.
“Bette. Bette, please.” She shook her shoulders and Bette’s head lolled backward. “No, please.”
Laura drew her friend into her arms and held her tight. “Come on, Bette. Talk to me. Let’s sing, shall we? What shall we sing?” Tears ran like hot wax down Laura’s cheeks, searing and burning. “Please sing with me. Please.”
The minutes passed like hours while she waited, holding and rocking Bette, memories of their years together tumbling through her mind.
“Laura? It’s Dr. Penders.”
She gently eased Bette back into the chair and kissed her cheek. “It’s all right, the doctor’s here now. It will be all right.”
Dr. Penders appeared in the doorway just as she pushed to her feet. Their eyes briefly met before the doctor strode to Bette and placed his fingers at her neck. Laura trembled, her heart splitting and cracking. She pushed her fist into her mouth to stop from screaming aloud as the doctor leaned his ear to Bette’s mouth.
If she dies, it’s my fault. Talking with Adam, fretting over the state of my stupid heart instead of looking after her.
She swiped at her tears. She had no right to cry. No right at all. She looked to Dr. Penders and inside screamed, Tell me she’s alive. Tell me!
The kindly doctor shook his head, his eyes glazed with tears. “I’m sorry, Laura.”
She sucked in a breath that scratched her throat, like the sharpened blade of a knife, and staggered forward. She fell to her knees in front of the woman who’d shared her life for so long.
Her heart split in two as she dropped her face into Bette’s lap and her friend’s skirts muffled the howl that ripped from deep inside Laura. How could she go on? Would Bette ever forgive her for meeting Adam? For falling in love and neglecting the only person she could ever count on?
“Bette, don’t leave me. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Adam grimaced. The coach journey from Bath to Bristol would have been an uneventful one if he had not been squashed between a woman of ample stature and her daughter, who clearly wanted to make herself known to him in ways that left little to the imagination. Once upon a time, her pretty blond curls and delicate porcelain features might have caught his interest. The expensive and flamboyantly rich color of her clothes even more so. Clearly, the young woman’s parents were not short of a penny or two. His ambition would have made her a tempting prospect.
However, any philandering came to an abrupt stop the moment he set eyes on Laura. She inspired him to be more and want more. He smiled. Good God, she would give these two a run for their money and leave them quaking in her wake. Silliness and vanity were so low on Laura’s list of priorities, it was laughable.
The coach drew to a stop at the bottom of Park Street and Adam levered himself out from where he was wedged. He came free with an almost audible pop. He touched a finger to his hat and smiled at mother and daughter in turn.
“Well, it was very nice to meet you, ladies. Enjoy your time in Bristol.”
He stepped from the coach and succinctly slammed the door just as the mother made a lunge for his sleeve. Forcing a wide smile, Adam waved as the coach rolled away. He released his held breath. Undoubtedly a lucky escape.
Shaking his head, he lifted his overnight bag from the cobbled pavement and strode toward the hotel where he had booked a room for the night. It was also where he had arranged to meet Lady Annabel Harvard, otherwise known as his interested investor.
Adam tightened his jaw. He should not be there. He should have gone straight to the audition and then caught the first coach back to Bath. Had being in Laura’s company not taught him anything? A person did not run from trouble—or take the easiest solution to the detriment of their soul. They kept their integrity and strode the right path for as long as it lasted. Yet, here he was, walking straight along the wrong one.
He should continue to take his script to every theater in town and scout the actors’ studios and bars for an interested director or producer. He should not be entertaining this meeting. He should not be seeing Annabel again. If all was as innocent as he had told himself a thousand times since he left the house, he would have told Laura the investor’s name. He had not. Which was as good as lying.
The bronze-colored canopy of the Royal Hotel came into view and Adam’s footsteps slowed. Nothing untoward had happened thus far, and if he had his way, nothing would. He intended on making it clear to Annabel he would welcome her money as a bona-fide investor, nothing more.
“So why is your heart racing and your nerves jumping? You’re a fool if you mess this up, Lacey. A bloody fool.”
Drawing in a long breath through flared nostrils, he mounted the steps and moved into the hotel foyer. The Royal Hotel was lavish and expensive. A stay he could ill afford. It would’ve been wiser to save the money for the production of his play. Forcing the scowl from his face, Adam approached the desk clerk.
“Good afternoon. I have a room booked. Adam Lacey.”
The clerk beamed, his eyes lighting like lamps. “Ah, Mr. Lacey. Lady Harvard has been eagerly awaiting your arrival.”
Adam’s stomach knotted and his shoulders tensed. What was wrong with the woman to be broadcasting his arrival to all and sundry? He smiled tightly. “Has she indeed.”
“Yes, sir. If you’d like to leave your luggage, Lady Harvard is in the lounge taking a glass of wine before dinner. Maybe you’d like to join her?”
“My room—”
“Will be ready as soon as you are, sir.” The clerk held Adam’s gaze, one eyebrow raised.
Adam slumped his shoulders. “Instruction received and understood. I will join her now.”
The clerk gave a curt nod and gestured for a bellboy. Knowing it was a lost cause to delay the inevitable, Adam turned and strode toward the lounge at the other end of the foyer. He entered the room and was greeted by muted chatter and high-ended, high-pitched laughter. After a less than comfortable journey, a glass of wine might be just what the doctor ordered. He glanced around.
Annabel rose from her chair a few feet away. “There you are.”
He pulled on a smile and approached her, taking her outstretched hands in his. When she offered him her cheek, he chastely kissed her and pulled back. “You look as immaculate as always.”
She smiled demurely, moving a thick coil of blond hair to lie over her breast. “I’m so glad to see you again.”
He nodded toward her seat. “Shall we? I could do with a drink. That journey from Bath never gets any easier. I think I’ll take the train next time.”
“Oh, it’s wonderful. You really should.” Annabel’s eyes glittered with her usual childlike euphoria that had lords and gentlemen falling over themselves to be with her.
Adam turned away, lest he be drawn into the farcical innocence of a woman who scratched like a cat in bed, drawing blood and squealing as she came. The waiter caught sight of Adam’s raised hand.
He bowed. “Yes, sir?”
“Another glass for Lady Harvard, please, and I’ll have the same.”
“Yes, sir.”
The waiter left them and Adam faced Annabel. “So . . .”
She smiled. “So, indeed.”
Irritation simmered. So she was going to make this as awkward as possible. That was fine. She could play it whichever way she wanted. He had zero intention of indulging her. This was a business meeting. No more, no less.
“Shall we talk about the play?”
“I was very surprised to hear from you, you know. Beyond surprised, if I am honest.” Annabel shifted back in her seat and fixed him with a calculating smile he knew well. Negotiation. She wanted something, and the chances were she would not leave without it. She glanced around the bar. “I thought our parting conversation the last time we saw each other made things perfectly clear how you feel about me and my offer to help you.”
He stared at her profile. “Nothing has changed, Annabel.”
She snapped her head around. “Yet here you are sending me a message to meet you. How very strange.” Her green eyes were cat-like as they ran languidly over him.
He tightened his jaw. “I will not lie. Asking you to meet me was not what I wanted to do, but I hoped you would take me seriously about something I believe will make you a lot of money.”
Her sweetly satisfied smile vanished. “It is not money I want.”
Taking a deep breath, Adam held her angry gaze. “I have found my Lucinda.”
She stiffened and her eyes darkened. “What?”
“The heroine from my play. I have found the perfect actress to play her.”
Annabel’s gaze narrowed and her cheeks flushed. “Is she as equally beautiful on the outside as inside, as you describe her in the play?”
“Yes.”
“Her name?”
Protectiveness poured into his veins as Laura’s face, relaxed and flushed after their lovemaking, filled his mind. “Does it matter?”
Her eyes flashed with anger. “Who is she, Adam?”
“No one you would have heard of or know. She had no idea she could even act until I showed her she could.”
She raised her eyebrows. “You showed her? What on earth does that mean? You tied the poor girl to some scenery and shouted a few lines at her?”
Her laughter caught like fire in his blood and when the waiter stopped beside them with a silver tray, Adam swiped his wine from atop it.
The waiter nodded. “Anything else, sir? Madam?”
Annabel took her glass and waved her hand in dismissal. “Not at the moment, thank you.”
The waiter left them alone and Adam drained half his glass in a single gulp.
Annabel’s gaze bore into him as she delicately raised her glass to her lips. She sipped and smiled. “And so it all becomes clear.”
Adam frowned. “What does?”
“You want me to finance this girl’s career. Am I right?”
“It would be better if you looked on it as an investment.”
She huffed out a laugh. “You treat me like a bank and expect me to see anything you do as an investment.”
“That is not the case at all.”
“I do not care about money or profit or any of those things. I have money. I will always have money. What I do not have is a lover.” She drew her gaze over his upper body. “A lover who can touch me and make me melt with just the soft lick of his tongue.”
Self-hatred furled inside his stomach. He could not do this. Nothing was worth this. “Do you know something—”
“I will give you whatever money you need, my love. I will get the money for you today. But you will not get a penny unless you return to our previous arrangement.”
Frustration burned like wildfire in Adam’s chest and he shook his head. “The arrangement will not be reinstated. I hoped you would deliver on your words. You once spoke about your belief in my play and me. I hoped you would view an investment as a sound business decision. Nothing more, nothing less.”
“I see.” She slowly placed her glass on the table between them. “Then we have nothing else to discuss. I am not a charity. If you want something from me, you have to be willing to offer something in return.”
“Annabel, for crying out loud.” He squeezed his eyes shut and took a long breath. “Why will you not listen to me?”
He opened his eyes.
She elegantly rose from her seat and stood above him, her eyes dark with fury and her cheeks flushed. “It is not difficult. I want a lover and you want money. Now you have a decision to make. I am neither blind, nor stupid. I see the change in you. I spoke to Monica before I left. She told me an orange seller has caught your eye and you believe she is your Lucinda. Do you really expect me to believe this girl can act? Can star in a play you hope to take to the West End?”
“Why is that so hard to believe?”
“You are passionate. Ambitious granted, but ultimately passionate. Something about this woman has affected you enough that you are not seeing the whole picture. Now, I suggest you get this girl out of your system in any way you see fit and then come back to me when you are ready to be serious about what you want to do in regard to your future.”
Adam glared. “I am serious now.”
She laughed. “This girl is nothing more than a strumpet. Admit it.”
He stood, his body trembling with suppressed anger. “She is Lucinda, Annabel. I know she is. With her in the starring role, the play will succeed. That much I can promise you.”
“Then you have wasted my time by asking me to meet you. I thought you would have come to your senses and wanted to take your play forward. Instead, I learn the rumors are true and you have become fixated with a pauper girl. My God, even Monica and her uppity ways were preferable to that. At least she has a modicum of talent.”
“How do you know Laura hasn’t without at least meeting her?”
Annabel smiled. “Laura? That’s her name? Laura who?”
Goddamn it. “Why is it important? Why don’t you meet her when you return to Bath? Let her and I play a scene for you and then you will need no further convincing I am right in what I am saying. She is everything I have been looking for.”
Her smile dissolved and two spots of color darkened her cheeks. “Get rid of her. Your eyes contain nothing but blind lust. With Monica it was different. You had seen what she could do and wanted her to continue to act. This is nothing more than a girl who has stirred your loins. My God, how could you be so foolish to think she did not target you?”
Adam glanced around the lounge. People talked and laughed, oblivious to the atmosphere between him and a woman who possibly held the future of his play in her hands. She was his final point of call. He could think of no one else from whom to beg, borrow, or steal.
He stepped toward her. “Annabel, please. Do this for me and I will never forget it. I promise you.”
She stared at him for a long moment before she narrowed her eyes and shook her head. “How dare you think you have anything other than sex to offer me.” The words were whispered from between her clenched teeth.
“All I’m asking—”
She jabbed her gloved hand into the air, cutting him off. “My money is mine to do with as I will. I saw your potential and supported you so you could keep acting. Now you think I will do that again, for one of your friends, for nothing but risk in return. How dare you.”
“Laura is not a friend.”
Her eyes flashed with knowing and her mouth twisted in contempt. “As I said. Lust, not the appetite for success, mars your common sense.”
Rare heat warmed his cheeks. It was undoubtedly obvious how Laura affected him. How he wanted to hold her every minute of every day. Look into her eyes and feel the soft sensation of her skin against his lips. How the hell was he supposed to hide that from a woman who knew him so intimately?
Annabel’s eyes widened with knowing. “My God, you have already slept with her, haven’t you?”
“No.” He clenched his jaw.
Her smile turned wolverine. “Oh, Adam, it is written all over your puppy-dog face. You are besotted.” She lifted her purse and pulled out a key. “Here.”
“What is this?”
“A spare key to my room. You know where I am when you have come to your senses and realize you have a decision to make. What is it you really want? A piece of strumpet on the side and a lowly role in a small play in a backstreet Bristol theater? Or do you wish to see you and a real actress starring in the West End? The future is entirely up to you.” She took his hand, opened it, and curled his fingers around the key. “I will invest if you come back to me. You are supposed to take care of me.” She leaned close to his ear. “You are supposed to take me where and when I want, fuck me like you mean it, and enjoy every damn second.” She pulled back and smiled demurely. “The decision is yours.”
“Annabel—”
“You know where I am.” She whirled away and sashayed toward the lounge exit.
His heart raced as she disappeared through the gilded double doors. He slumped into his chair and picked up his glass. The liquid trembled within. He drained his glass and put it back on the table with a clatter. Damn Annabel. Damn his parents. Damn his entire situation. He glanced toward the doors once more.
The faint image of Annabel reflected in the glass of one; Laura in the other.
For the first time in his life, his heart was split between the stage and something—or someone—else. How was he to know which would last?