Jacob was still stunned long after Mick’s speech had sent the reporters into a frenzy. He watched Mick work the room, laughing at reporters’ jokes and reminiscing with them about how terrible he had been to them when he was a toddler running around Planet Royale. Every now and then he would turn to wink at Jacob, clearly relishing that he had so thoroughly upstaged his opponent.
Not knowing quite what to do, Jacob found a video screen to stare at and was surprised to see his old friend Moonman from the tiny planet Numonia. He was being interviewed in front of the spaceship Swift and looked as if he was the only person in the universe more uncomfortable than Jacob.
“Why… Jacob Wonderbar? Of course I remember him,” he said.
A reporter stuck his microphone closer to Moonman’s face and he flinched. “Could you please comment on reports that the Earther candidate is here to bring war to Astral colonies and is advancing a hard-line pro-Earth agenda?”
Moonman screwed up his face and regained some composure. “Now you listen here,” he said. “You couldn’t find a finer young man than Jacob Wonderbar and we would be lucky to have such a… a… fine young man for president. He’s welcome back on Numonia anytime, which is more than I could say for all of you rotten…”
Night fell on Numonia at that moment and Moonman fell asleep standing up.
“Sir?” the reporter asked, alarmed. “Sir!”
“Well, well, well…” Jacob heard a girl say behind him.
Jacob turned around and saw Catalina Penelope Cassandra Crackenarium, princess of the universe, dressed in a smart pantsuit and wearing sensible pearl earrings. Her brown hair was pulled back into a bun.
“Wow, Cat… Hi. I’m…”
Sarah suddenly appeared at Jacob’s elbow. “What are you doing here?”
“Sarah Daisy!” Catalina shouted. She grabbed Sarah in a tight hug, air-kissed her cheeks, then held her by the shoulders. “Now let’s get a look at you.” She looked Sarah’s outfit up and down, raised her eyebrows, and then shrugged. “Enh,” she said.
Sarah’s face flushed and Jacob stepped in between them in case Sarah was considering an attack. “It’s good to see you, Cat. Are you here because of Mick?”
Catalina laughed merrily and tapped him on the nose. “Don’t be silly! I’m here because of you, sweetie.” She spread her arms. “I’m going to be your running mate.”
Sarah sputtered. “You! Don’t be ridiculous.”
“And your vice president when you win.”
“That’s really nice,” Jacob said. “But I think we’re doing fine with what we—”
“Jake…” Catalina said. “Oh, Jake, honey. That”—she pointed to the podium where Jacob had delivered his speech—“was not fine. You two don’t know the first thing about Astrals or how you can win.”
“We know enough,” Sarah said.
“Oh really?” Cat said. “What are you doing for communications? Do you have Astral Tellys so you can make calls to the press? Let alone keep up with Astral television stations?”
Sarah and Jacob looked at each other.
Catalina laughed. “Did you think your pitiful Earther phones were going to work in outer space?”
“No,” Jacob said. “But…”
“Population centers. Sarah darling, why don’t you share with Candidate Wonderbar the five most populous planets and how you plan to campaign there for votes? What about the three Battles Supreme? Have you thought about your strategy? We have less than a starweek to prepare for the first one.”
Sarah was silent. Jacob hadn’t heard anything about any battles.
Catalina grabbed Jacob’s tie and flipped it dismissively. “And look how you have my future husband dressed. The poor dear!”
Jacob looked down at his red tie. He didn’t think it was so bad.
“You need credibility. You need Astrals to trust you. And what better way than with the Astral princess as your running mate?”
“What’s in it for you?” Sarah finally managed to say.
“Me?” Catalina looked scandalized. “Why, I couldn’t be thinking less about myself at a time like this. I just want to help Jake win this election.”
“Right. Sure. Like I’d listen to a stupid alien,” Sarah whispered furiously. Catalina’s eyes widened in shock. She started to say something back, but then stopped.
Sarah grabbed Jacob’s arm. “Let’s go.”
“Sarah, look…”
Sarah paused and stared daggers at him. “Jacob Wonderbar, if you go along with this…”
Jacob wasn’t sure he had ever seen Sarah quite as angry, but he also knew that Catalina was right. He didn’t know how to run this election and he did need someone like her to give him credibility with the Astrals. It was the only chance he had at rescuing his candidacy, especially after the terrible speech he had given.
“We have to,” he said.
Sarah pushed Jacob’s arm away and stomped off. “I’m taking Lucy and I’m going to find Dexter,” she shouted over her shoulder.
The reporters sensed a conflict and swooped in, camera bulbs flashing, video cameras rolling. “Mr. Wonderbar! Mr. Wonderbar! Would you care to comment on your friend Sarah Daisy leaving your campaign? Mr. Wonderbar!”
“Um…” he started.
Catalina stepped confidently in front of the cameras. “Jacob Wonderbar has decided that he needed to shake up his staff in order to energize his campaign. Sarah Daisy has resigned her position and acknowledged her abysmal performance as chief of staff.”
Jacob frowned. He started to defend Sarah, but Catalina continued, “The campaign will be heading in a new direction. Mr. Wonderbar has offered me the opportunity to be his running mate.” She flashed Jacob a dazzling smile. “And I couldn’t be happier to take it.”
