After two hours spent pressing the “Banana now” button, the space monkeys had eventually grown tired of their antics and fallen asleep in a heap in the cockpit. Dexter thought about trying to determine where the spaceship was heading, but he was so tired and so grateful that the monkeys were finally quiet that he huddled in a corner and wrapped his arms around his knees. He put his head down and began to nod off.

The young chimp that had been watching Dexter when he was in the cage scrambled over to him. He chirped quietly and then rested his head on Dexter’s shoulder.

Dexter didn’t have the heart to move away from him, though he was thoroughly terrified at the thought that the monkeys had begun to think he was one of them.

“What’s your name?” he asked the monkey.

The monkey didn’t answer, but Dexter decided to call him Rufus until he could get him to press the buttons on the wall. Dexter yawned and was feeling very drowsy…

Dexter heard a crash and realized he had fallen asleep. The monkeys all leaped up at once and began swinging around the cockpit, crashing into things and screeching and causing a horrible racket.

As he began to regain his senses, Dexter realized they weren’t flying through space anymore. He looked out the cockpit window and saw what looked like a giant airplane hangar. They had landed on another planet.

He heard another crash in the hold, and the monkeys scrambled around, clearly terrified. They backed into a corner, and Boris paced in front of them.

Suddenly men wearing army uniforms and body armor scrambled into the cockpit. They were carrying blasters, and as they drew closer Dexter could see that they had an unbelievable number of knives and weapons hanging from their belts. Dexter’s heart leaped. He was finally being rescued.

The men charged in, diving and rolling on the ground, leaping up, and shouting things like “Cover me!” and “Move! Move! Move!” They looked like hyperactive martial arts experts with guns. Dexter wasn’t sure why the men needed to employ such complex maneuvers to board an unarmed spaceship, but they seemed to be enjoying themselves.

Boris charged at one of the soldiers and they knocked him back with a stick. Dexter suddenly became worried for Boris’s safety. “Boris, don’t!” he shouted.

The monkeys all ran at once out of the cockpit, and the soldiers followed them with their guns at the ready. Dexter scrambled after them and reached the hold just in time to see the monkeys being herded safely into a nearby bunker. Dexter was relieved that they hadn’t been hurt. He was even more relieved that he was finally free of them.

“Thank you!” he shouted to the soldiers. “You don’t know how long I’ve been…”

“Freeze!” one of the soldiers shouted at him, swinging his blaster around. Dexter raised his hands.

“It’s fine, I’m—”

“Silence!” the soldier shouted.

After a tense moment, a beefy kid with bright yellow hair stepped into the hold. He looked like he was about Dexter’s age, and he wore the same uniform as the soldiers, though he had far more decorative ribbons and medals. His nose was very crooked and it gave his face the appearance of being locked in a perpetual sneer.

“Good work, men,” the boy said. He paced in front of Dexter for a little while. Then he stepped up and sniffed at him. “So, what’s it like being a dirty Earther?”

Dexter blinked in confusion. He didn’t like the way this rescue was unfolding. “Um. Well, I don’t know, I never really thought of it like that, I guess I don’t…”

The boy punched Dexter hard on the shoulder.

“Ow! What was that for?” Dexter yelped.

“My dad said to punch first and ask questions later.”

Dexter rubbed his shoulder. “But you asked me a question first and then punched me. You didn’t even have the order right!!”

The boy grunted. Dexter didn’t have the sense that he was very bright.

“Splendid operation, men!” Dexter heard a voice outside say. He turned and looked as an adult version of the yellow-haired boy strode into the hold. His uniform could barely contain the ribbons, medals, and badges that poked out from every available space on his uniform.

“Did you punch him, Patrick?” the man asked.

Patrick shot Dexter an evil smile. “I sure did.”

“That’s my boy,” the man said. He loomed over Dexter. “General Gravy is the name, and you’re coming with me.”

“This wasn’t a rescue, was it?” Dexter said, sighing.

“A rescue?” General Gravy said. “Dear bombs no, this was a training exercise. I wanted my men to have experience rescuing high-value targets and…” He looked closer at Dexter. “You’re not Jacob Wonderbar.”

Dexter stared in shock for a moment before he was able to say, “Why would I be Jacob Wonderbar?”

“I told them to get Jacob Wonderbar!” General Gravy shouted. He threw his hat to the ground, and Patrick shrunk back.

General Gravy’s face was red as he stomped away. “Never send a monkey to do a man’s job,” he muttered. He turned back before he exited the ship and shouted, “Lock this Earther up!”

Patrick gave Dexter a gleeful poke and led him off the ship. The soldiers marched him into the giant bunker and down an industrial hallway with metal floors, lit with circular headlamps with bulbs that flickered occasionally.

Patrick pushed open a door that led to a room full of monkey cages. Dexter’s throat caught when he saw the space monkeys all locked up, shrieking and banging on the walls.

One of the soldiers unlocked the door to one of the cages and pointed. “In you go.”

Dexter’s heart sank. “Not again.”

The soldiers pushed him in, and Dexter found himself once again in a monkey cage, this time with the little chimp who had befriended him on the ship. Rufus crawled into his arms and gave him a hug. He was much heavier than Dexter expected, and he struggled to take a breath.

He patted the monkey on the back. “I guess we’re in this together.”