On the day of the vote that would decide the fate of the first presidential election in Astral history, Jacob Wonderbar felt squishy dirt under his feet, couldn’t see anything exciting on the horizon, and had never felt so glad to smell burp breath in his entire life.
He wasn’t home, but at least he was on Numonia.
The monkeys weren’t sure how they felt about the lack of gravity, but soon took to engaging in ever-more-spectacular wrestling matches. Dexter picked up a clump of Numonia space dust and hurled it at Rufus, which introduced an entirely new weapon into space monkey warfare. Princess Catalina stepped daintily around and tried to lock a smile on her face and be a good sport.
Jacob just wanted to introduce Sarah Daisy to Moonman and Stargirl.
“They’re just…” Jacob said. “Well… I probably can’t do them justice, I’d—”
They heard a whoop, and for a brief moment Jacob saw Moonman and Stargirl illuminated against the ever-so-brief Numonian sunset, their large bodies conveying pure joy. Then night came and they were plunged into darkness.
“It’s them!”
He ran in their direction, and caught up to them just as they were awakening from their thirty-second slumber.
Stargirl grabbed Jacob into a powerful and long hug, and he felt so happy to be with them. She held him by the shoulders and Jacob saw tears of happiness in her eyes.
“I told Moonman you’d come back,” Stargirl wept. “I knew you would, Jacob. I just knew it.”
“I’m so glad to be here,” Jacob said, and he really meant it. They were so nice and they cared about him so much, and all he wanted to do was show Sarah how amazing they were.
“Now hold on there,” Moonman said, noticing Sarah. “We haven’t met this lovely young lady.”
Jacob said with pride, “Moonman, Stargirl, I’d like you to meet—”
Just then the sun set behind the horizon, Numonia was plunged into darkness, and Moonman and Stargirl fell fast asleep.
Jacob laughed and said, “Yeah, this happens.”
“They seem so nice,” Sarah said.
Jacob nodded. “They really are.”
Jacob smiled at Sarah in the Numonian darkness, but he wasn’t sure if she saw it. They waited patiently until Moonman and Stargirl awoke, then Jacob was finally able to introduce Sarah.
“Any friend of Jacob Wonderbar’s is a friend of ours,” Moonman said proudly. “And I suspect you’re going to like it here.”
After they had eaten a Numonian feast, during which even Jacob was able to slowly choke down some morsels of Numonian space dust, they all filed over to the spaceship Swift, where the Numonians had created a makeshift voting booth hidden away by a mound of Numonian dust.
“Not that we need any privacy,” Moonman said, puffing out his chest and slapping Jacob on the back. “We all know who is going to win on this planet.”
When Jacob faced the presidential voting buttons, he stared at his name, knowing that on that very day many billions of Astrals were all looking at his name on a button too. All the campaigning, all the speeches, all the interviews, it all came down to a bunch of people pushing a button with either his or Mick Cracken’s name.
Jacob braced himself and said, “Conference” to his Telly and suddenly he was surrounded by reporters shouting his name and taking pictures. One last photo shoot as Candidate Wonderbar.
Jacob pushed the voting button. It registered, and he had cast one more vote for saving Earth.
He gave a confident thumbs-up to the reporters, made sure they got some good footage, and then said, “End conference.” He was alone again.
Jacob tuned in on his Telly and watched the coverage as people voted all around the galaxy. There were polling stations in trees, in bus stops, on construction sites, and atop skyscrapers. Everyone was voting, even kids Jacob’s age, and they did it with a sense of purpose, seeming to know that even if any one person probably wasn’t casting the vote that was going to decide everything, they were doing something important together. They were choosing their leader, rather than just following whoever was next in the Crackenarium family tree.
And even as Moonman and Stargirl and old man Bartholomew and the other Numonians fell asleep every thirty seconds during the coverage, they all huddled in front of a screen on the spaceship Swift and watched the final results.
On Planet Royale, amid a great fanfare of trumpets blaring, colorful birds flying, and a giant new tapestry swinging down from the ceiling to commemorate the election, they saw the king of everything step up to a dais and begin to speak. Moonman told everyone to hush, then fell asleep and started snoring.
“For the first time in their history, Astrals have chosen their own leader,” the king said. “The first Astral leader was Father Albert, my many-many-times-great-grandfather, who led our people into the stars. And now, for the first time in our storied history, Astrals will decide for themselves who will lead them to a safe and prosperous future.”
Jacob’s heart was pounding. It was time for the results. He only had one thought. President of the universe or nothing. President of the universe or nothing.
“The votes have been counted. The will of the Astrals has been written.”
Jacob closed his eyes. President of the universe or nothing. President of the universe or nothing.
“You have chosen your leader.”
President of the universe or nothing. President of the universe or nothing.
“And it gives me a great deal of pleasure to announce… that Mick Cracken will be the first president of the universe!”
Jacob let the news wash over him. He had to replay the moment in his mind several times to be sure he had heard correctly, and every time he played it back in his head, he heard the king say Mick’s name.
President of the universe or nothing. President of the universe or nothing.
Jacob wasn’t president.
But he didn’t feel like nothing.