I follow Tony out of the Pine Hills district all the way to North Albany to an old brick apartment complex that looks more like the dorms at Harvard or Brown University. My grandmother kept a semi-studio apartment here before she died. By semi-studio, I mean, she had a bedroom, a living room, and a small galley kitchen. The old brick buildings surround a large quad with an immaculate lawn, or green, accented with old oak trees. My mother used to drop me off here for the day, and I’d play on the lawn while Gram would make us a picnic lunch of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches which we munched on while sitting on an old cotton blanket. Simple times, long before Everest took everything over.

Tony parks in the small lot in front of building number eight. I pull up beside him in an empty space. We both get out.

“I haven’t been here in years,” I say, gazing upon the four-story old brick structure, some of which is covered in ivy.

“Remember when your grandmother lived here in building one?” he asks. “She was a hoot.”

Back in the day, Tony and I loved to visit gram when we were dating. She loved beer, and she would allow us to have a couple during our visit. If only my parents knew.

“Brings back a lot of memories, Tony,” I say.

“Yeah,” he says, while grabbing his laptop shoulder bag. “It’s memory lane day.”

He heads for the door on the left, and I follow with my own leather bag clung over my shoulder. He uses his key to let us in, and he heads down one flight of stairs to a terrace level apartment. Opening the door, I’m pleasantly surprised to find that it’s the exact layout of Gram’s. Makes me feel at home and at peace.

“Just like your old Gram’s place, right?” Tony says. “Mi casa, su casa.”

He heads into his bedroom where he’s no doubt depositing his laptop. I head into the living room and laugh out loud at the set up. Typical Tony Smart. Sure, there’s a couch and TV mounted to the opposite wall, but the rest of the space is filled with gym equipment. A weight bench takes up the majority of the space. It’s set on top of rubber mat flooring. A rack of free weights has been placed under the TV, and another tree of iron plates is positioned opposite the weight bench. A chin-up bar has been installed in the opening between the living room and the galley kitchen, and the couch, instead of being a place to sit and relax, has become a storage space for all varieties of chains, leather belts, rubber resistance bands, wrist and knee wraps, and other torture devices.

“Tony,” I say, as he comes back in, “are you sure you’re not hosting BDSM parties in this apartment?”

“BDSM is so twenty-teens, Tan,” he says. “Get with the program. This is the late twenties. I can date a robot that’s hotter than you if I want. She also cleans the place, doesn’t drink my beer, and never a complaint about my sexual performance.”

“Oh my God,” I say, “you’ve got one in the closet, don’t you?”

“You never know,” he says with a grin and a wink.

He takes my hand for the second time, and for the second time, I feel dizzy.

“You wanna meet her?” he says with a wink. “Her name is Rosie.”

“Ha, Rosie the robot maid from the Jetsons. Perfect.”

He holds up his right hand.

“I was talking about Rosie Palm,” he says.

We enjoy a good laugh together, until the laughter suddenly subsides, and we once more find our eyes locked together. He slowly gravitates toward me and me to him. Our lips embrace. For the first time in decades, I find myself passionately kissing the one man I have ever truly loved with all my heart. The one man I will love forever. His lips feel soft, and our tongues play. If only I could somehow physically get inside Tony and curl up beside his heart, then everything would be perfect with the world.

When we come up for air, he holds me close with a tight hug that makes me feel entirely secure . . . entirely wanted and loved. I am doing the same to him, but just feeling his still solid muscles wrapped around me gives me the sensation that this very moment in time is what I have been waiting for all my adult life.

“I still love you, Tanya,” he whispers into my ear.

It is a statement that is neither forced nor faked. I know it to be true. Not because I can hear it, but because I can feel it. God, how I’ve been longing for this day for a very long time, whether I’ve been conscious of it or not. We release our hold on one another, but somehow, we’re still holding on. Or perhaps that’s just what I want to believe.

Silence surrounds us. But it’s not really silence. It’s the birds chirping outside the open windows and the cicadas humming. It’s an industrial sized pilotless lawnmower cutting the grass and two squirrels racing up one of the big oaks just outside the apartment. It’s the beating of our hearts and the breathing of our lungs and the blood racing through our veins.

Do I risk being shattered again if I tell him I love him in return?

You know the answer to that one, Tanya . . .

I do my best to work up a smile and get my head in gear.

“So what’s for lunch, Chef Boyardee?” I ask to change the subject.

His brown eyes say he wants me to say I love him in return, but they also tell me he knows he’s not going to get it right now. Maybe not for a while.

“Let me see what I can rustle up, Maw,” he says in his faux Texas Ranger drawl.

He heads into the kitchen, opens the refrigerator. I stand in the opening between the living room and the galley kitchen, both my hands now grasping the pull-up bar. My eyes gravitate to a public school-produced photo of a pre-teen girl mounted to the side of the fridge with a magnet. She’s got Tony’s eyes, his pronounced cheek bones, the same thick dark hair he had as a teenager, and of course, his sweet smile.

“That Claudia?” I say, already knowing the answer.

“My pride and joy,” he says. “Wish she was happier with me.” He says it with genuine sadness.

“A child that adorable can’t hold out for long,” I say. “She’s a pre-teen. She’s going through some weird emotions right now. Her body is changing physically. Give her time, Tony. Don’t pressure her.”

He nods, bites down on his lip.

“That’s exactly what her mom says.”

For a time, everything goes still and heavy, until he resumes his search inside the refrigerator.

“Pickings are slim, Tan,” he says. “That’s the problem when you live the bachelor lifestyle.”

About-facing, he opens up the cabinets above the sink.

“Hmmm,” he says. “Looks like I gotta place an Everest Garden-Fresh Market order for some foodstuffs. In the meantime, we’ve got two choices. Tuna sandwiches or bacon, eggs, and toast.”

“How about Gus’s Hotdogs,” I say, enthusiastically.

His eyes light up.

“Oh my God,” he says. “They were our absolute favorites, Tan.”

“The place is still there, Tone?”

“Far as I know,” he says. “I know they are about to close now that everyone is becoming a Primary Member.”

“It’s illegal for us to go there, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Tanya,” comes a voice from out of the blue. A voice I recognize as much as my own mother’s voice. Jacquie. “It is indeed illegal for an Everest Primary Member to visit Gus’s Hotdog Stand, or any other private business, service, and/or enterprise not currently associated with Everest dot com either as a direct seller, vender, fulfillment associate, or affiliate associate. I hope this satisfactorily answers your question.”

Tony gives me a look.

“Well then,” he says, his eyes wide. “Bacon and egg sandwiches it is.”

Twenty minutes later, we’re sitting outside on the lawn in the bright light of the mid-day, eating breakfast for lunch and washing it down with a bottle of red wine. Pinot Noir to be exact. A very good pinot I must say, from the same vineyard that Mom’s wine came from the night before. The bacon and egg sandwiches taste delicious, and the wine is giving me a nice, happy buzz. It’s the perfect way to spend a late summer Sunday afternoon.

“Do you worry about Everest sometimes, Tony?” I ask after a while.

“Whaddaya mean worry, Tan?” he asks. Like the Tony I knew from the past who could eat an entire double cheeseburger in about three bites, his egg sandwich is now history.

“Rumors, I guess,” I say, still nibbling on the corner of my sandwich half.

“Such as?”

I find myself gazing over both shoulders, as if Jacquie were standing on the lawn in range of our voices.

“That anyone who goes against the Primary membership pays dearly,” I say, my voice hardly more than a whisper.

He also looks one way, then the other.

“Listen, Tan,” he says, his voice also low. “There’s better things to talk about.” He looks up at the sun while squinting his eyes. “I’d rather talk about us than discuss silly rumors.”

Why do I get the feeling he’s not only trying to change the subject, he’s trying to shut me up about it? He takes hold of my hand again, squeezes. I drink some wine and so does he. He then leans in for another kiss, and I swear my heart feels like it’s about to burst out of my chest.

“Eat faster,” he says not without a laugh.

That’s it then . . . You know what he wants, Tanya. So how are you going to play this one?

“Maybe I’m just nervous about the whole thing, Tony,” I say. “Being dependent on Everest for my life. I guess I’m not feeling the whole stress-free nirvana thing yet. They’re literally taking over the world, every aspect of our lives. It’s a bit unnerving.”

I finish one half of my sandwich. It’s about all I can stomach right now while Tony starts running his finger up my bare leg. Not that I’m trying to stop him. I drink more wine and feel my insides convulse. I also feel something else responding. It’s between my legs, and it’s been a while since it’s awakened like this. That enough of a hint for you?

I down my glass of wine, as does Tony. He grabs both glasses by the stems, along with the bottle and stands. Holding out his free hand for me, he helps me up off the blanket. Without his having to ask, I know precisely where he’s leading me.

“What about the leftover food?” I ask.

“Our gift to the squirrels,” he says. “It’s the least we can do for our collapsing, overpopulated climate.”

We head into his bedroom. He sets the wine and glasses on the nightstand and then together, we fall onto his bed. It’s not like it happens in one of those romance novels where we slowly remove each piece and parcel of clothing. Instead it’s a race to see who can get naked first. Initially, we start undressing one another, but when that turns out to be an exercise in futility, we just remove our own clothing. I actually make an effort for him to see my new black underwear, but I’m not entirely sure he cares all that much. For Tony, it doesn’t seem to matter much what the present is wrapped with. He just wants to get at the present.

Our mouths connect so hard we’re lucky we don’t break our front teeth. For certain, I feel like I’ve split my bottom lip, but there’s no blood. Tony runs his hands through my hair while I lie on my back and wrap my hands around his shapely ass. We’re both breathing so hard we can barely speak. But there ain’t a whole lot to talk about while he slides into me and fills me in every possible wonderful way. It’s been a while, and it hurts a little at first, but I don’t really care as he slowly moves his hips.

“Don’t stop,” I tell him. “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

His pace quickens with each stroke. Already, I can feel myself coming to that special place and judging by how excited he is, I know he’s there, too. His face tells the entire story. It’s tight and the artery in his neck is throbbing while a vein on his forehead is pulsing, his wide eyes never blinking but staring into my own. I don’t think it takes even a full minute before the two of us release. I can’t help but scream, until I bite his shoulder. Not hard enough to break the skin, but it’s hard enough to make him utter, “Ouch.”

We then break out in laughter and roll onto our backs.

“Was it good for you, too, Tony Smart?” I ask.

“Never better, Tanya Even Smarter than Me,” he says, in between breaths. He laughs some more. “So much for foreplay.”

“We’re middle-aged,” I say. “Who’s got time for foreplay?” Then, “Jacquie, you don’t have to answer that.”

“Everest dot com offers an array of sexual enhancement products designed to arouse both sexes especially during foreplay. Does this answer your question satisfactorily?”

Okay, now Tony is curled on his side. He’s laughing so hard he might pull a muscle. In terms of AI, Jacquie is as smart as they come, but boy oh boy can she interject some weird shit at the most awkward of times. Taking hold of Tony’s hand, I turn to him, kiss him gently on the mouth.

“Yeah,” I say. “I still love you, too.”