The Last Laugh
Morbidius Ultimatum was a magnificent horror to behold. Like a king attending his coronation, he had carefully selected his costume for this occasion. The head he had chosen for his final victory was the skull of a white rhinoceros encrusted with rubies; its magnificent horn plated with gold and polished to a high gloss. In its eye sockets rested two identical black pearls.
He had chosen his clothing with the same attention to detail. Protruding from the sleeves of his white silk robe were painted nails on the ends of skeletal human hands and feet. To finish his gruesome wardrobe, he had chosen his favourite piece of clothing – the long cloak of white ermine fur. But there was one particular thing that caught the children’s attention: around his neck was the crystal heart dangling on a thick gold chain. It was the Arrowheart they had been forced to leave entangled in the giant spider’s web!
On either side of Morbidius stood his faithful henchmen - Lieutenant Detritus and his seargeant-at-arms.
“Congratulations you two” Morbidius snarled, “I didn’t think you interfering little troublemakers would ever make it this far. It would seem that I underestimated you, yet again. I had hoped the Power Eater would have frightened you both to death and I would not have to waste any more time and energy on you.”
“Well, you were wrong!” Chilli spat the words at him.
“Mmmm, still feisty, eh? If I were you, I would be careful how you speak to me. After all, you are hardly in any position to be rude to me. Eh, young brat?” He walked up to her and tapped her nose with a sharp red fingernail.
“Leave her alone!” demanded Ty, struggling to get out of Boris’s grip.
“Or else what?” Morbidius turned his attention to Ty, relishing having the children at his mercy.
“I’ll... I’ll...” Ty stammered. But he had no answer. He knew they were powerless. He and his friends had failed in their one and only chance to destroy Morbidius. Ty clamped his mouth shut and stared at the crystal heart around Morbidius’s neck. Maybe I could... an idea started to formulate in his mind.
“Aahhh, I see your beady little eyes staring at the crystal heart” grinned Morbius, caressing the Arrowheart. “You still wish to try and fulfil the legend to destroy me, eh? It would seem that your last feeble attempt failed pathetically. Let’s put that idea to rest for once and for all, shall we?” Morbidius mocked Ty. He yanked the crystal from his neck and held it out for the children to see. “Time to say goodbye, children. Gracious, I think that’s a song, isn’t it?” Morbidius growled as he slowly closed his bony fist around the stone.
“Don’t...!” yelled Chilli. Morbidius flashed a grin at her as a sickening crunch came from inside his claw. The stone disintegrated as he applied more pressure until, finally, a fine dust trickled from between his bony fingers. Then he opened his skeletal hand to let the powdery remains of the crystal fall to the floor.
BOOM!
The giant heart jerked violently as another surge of liquid was thrust through it. The coagulator was now smoking heavily as it struggled to keep up with the production of the tablets. The countdown read ‘two minutes to zero hour’.
“All of this is academic in any event” said Morbidius haughtily as he swept past them, flinging the hem of the cloak into their faces. “If you will excuse me, I have a world to destroy. Boris, let the humans go! They are powerless. They cannot harm me any longer. I will allow them the pleasure of watching the demise of their beloved planet up close and personal. Say a final goodbye to your dear mummy and daddy, Chilli,” he snarled maliciously.
Morbidius was revelling in his ultimate moment of glory. He stood under his heart and lifted his skull to the source of his power. Spreading his arms wide he shouted: “I shall soon reign supreme over planet Earth and there is nothing anyone can do to stop me! I shall so enjoy adding you three to my collection. I think I shall label you The Village Idiots.” He cackled at his grim joke.
Krrzzzk. The public address system crackled into life once more.
“Attention! One minute to zero hour! Comrade workers, secure the release mechanism on the loading bay door. There are now fifty seconds remaining... forty-nine, forty-eight...”
“We’ve got to do something Ty!” Chilli shouted desperately.
“It’s no good Chilli. We’ve lost.”
“Ha! So you finally admit defeat, do you?” smirked Morbidius.
Plink! A small sound froze Morbidius mid-speech. A drop of liquid had leaked from the sac and landed on his skull. A whisp of black smoke rose from the spot where it had hit him.
“Aaaargh!” yelled Morbidius in pain. “Boris! Detritus! The sac! It’s leaking! Do something!” He grabbed the edge of his cloak and frantically wiped away the liquid from his skull, dislodging some rubies and exposing a patch of singed bone.
Boris released Chilli and Ty and slithered to the heart as fast as he could. He reached up and frantically tried to staunch the leak.
BOOM!
The heart lurched drunkenly in the sac. Another drop of liquid leaked out of the housing and plopped onto the floor.
Weeee-oooooooo-weeeeeee-ooooo! Vida’s whalesong was now one long, keening sound as her life started slipping away.
“Repair the pouch! Immediately!” thundered Morbidius, holding his skull in pain.
“Ty! Our plan worked!” yelled Chilli as the sac suddenly split open and a steady stream of liquid splashed onto the floor.
The Mutandii raced to help Boris stop the leak. The three of them desperately grabbed hold of the edges of the tear and tried to pull it closed. But no sooner had they closed one side than it split on another corner.
BOOM-A-BOOM-BOOM!
If the heart had been anybody’s chest, they would have been having a major heart attack.
“Release the tableeeets!” Morbidius thundered. He watched in horror as the liquid started to creep around the edges of the tablets. As soon as it hit them they dissolved in a hiss of green steam.
“We’ve got to stop them releasing the tablets!” shouted Chilli as she ran towards the loading bay.
“Oubaas! C’mon, lunch is served” shouted Ty, swinging the Bow at the crabs to keep them away from the loading bay. The baboon scampered over to join his friend. He wildly grabbed hold of as many crabs as he could and crunched their claws in his powerful jaws.
“Thirty seconds”, blared the public address system urgently.
“Detritus, stop those infernal children!” screamed Morbidius. The Mutandii let go of the sac and lurched over to the children.
“Let me go, you...” Chilli squirmed as Detritus grabbed her. Ty waded in to protect his friend.
“Hey! Pick on somebody as ugly as yourself” shouted Ty, clouting Detritus against his head with the Ivory Bow. He was just about to hit him again, when his arms were pinned to his sides by the other cockroach.
“Hey, leggo, you stinking...” He kicked furiously in the air as the cockroach lifted him off the ground.
“Open the loading bay! Now!” roared Morbidius.
Some crabs managed to dodge past Oubaas and they scuttled to the loading bay. They quickly grabbed the release lever and began pulling it into the open position. However, the lever became stuck, leaving the door only half open. The crabs, realising that they were in danger of becoming chowder, abandoned their post and made a dash to safety. They weren’t about to waste time feeding the tablets into the ocean. They would let the ocean take over where they left off. It was every crab for itself.
But they may have done just enough for Morbidius to fulfil his mission: the Effluvian Ocean started flooding through the half-opened door. As it swept over the tablets, they dissolved into the murky sludge.
“Victory shall be miiiine!” roared Morbidius.
“Chickens!” Chilli screamed at him.
“Chickens?” asked Morbidius, puzzled.
“Yeah, you creep! You’ve counted them too soon!” jeered Chilli.
“Twenty seconds.”
BOOM-A-BOOM-BOOM-BOOM! RRRIPPP!
“What the...?” Morbidius swung round and watched in horror as the heart broke from its moorings, leaving it hanging precariously on a single bolt.
The sac tore wide open and fluid was flung in every direction.
“Nnnooooooooo!” Morbidius howled as he watched his life’s work disintegrate.
Then pandemonium broke out.
The crab cadres, realising their own shells were in danger, scuttled helter-skelter for the exit. Their comrades, Lieutenant Detritus and his sergeant, decided they weren’t about to hang around and find out if the slush was lethal to cockroaches. They let go of the children and headed for the airlock hot on the heels of the crabs.
Comrade Boris realised that the Glorious Cause wasn’t nearly as important as his own cause - namely staying alive -and quickly followed the Mutandii to the exit.
Above the chaos, Vida’s mournful cries were joined by that of another whale. But nobody was listening. Everybody was only interested in staying alive. But Morbidius stubbornly stood his ground, refusing to admit defeat.
“Stop! You can’t leave me! I’m your leader! I...” he yelled at his troops. But his cadres weren’t about to obey the orders of a fallen leader. They had more important things to attend to – saving their own shells!
“Fifteen seconds.”
“Chilli! We’ve got to get to the ferry!” Ty grabbed her arm and started running for the exit.
“NO!” roared Morbidius. “If I am to die, then I will have the pleasure of seeing you die with me!”
The two friends backed away from Morbidius as he advanced towards them. The pearls in the skull’s eye sockets gleamed dimly as he raised his claws to slash their throats.
“You’re already dead. You just don’t know it, Morbidius” mocked Ty.
“The time for words is over!” roared Morbidius. He towered over them, his claws drawn for death. He took a step closer to them but his legs refused to move. “What...?”
“It’s over Morbidius. Give up!” sneered Chilli.
“No, I... I” Morbidius looked at his legs. “How... what?”
“You forgot to stay away from the liquid. That’s what!” jeered Ty.
It was Morbidius’s turn to be terrified. He stared down in horror at his legs that were dissolving in the fluid from the sac.
Sssssssss. A sickening hiss rose from his bones as bitter smoke filled the air.
“Nyyaaaaaaaaaargh!” Morbidius screamed in agony and tried to take another step. He stumbled again and fell forward onto his skeletal hands. The second his hands hit the liquid it began to devour his hands and arms.
“Aaaargh!” Morbidius howled as his skull sank into the fluid.
“Gotcha!” grinned Ty.
A disgusting gurgle came from what was left of Morbidius’s head as the liquid slowly ate him alive. A piece of skullbone floated briefly to the surface and then disappeared. The last piece of Morbidius, the rhino horn, sank under the slush with a sickening sssshhhhh. Blood leeched from the horn as it disintegrated.
“You’ve lost Morbidius!” jeered Chilli.
BOOM-A-BOOM-BOOM! CRRRAAAACK!
“Ty! The heart! It’s falling! Run!” The final throb had wrenched the last bolt from its socket, sending the heart plummeting towards them.
Sploof! The three friends scattered as the heart hit the ground with a sickening thud. It collapsed like a deflated balloon and floated uselessly on the surface of the liquid.
The generator’s sphere was now rapidly filling up with ocean water. The sac fluid and toxic tablets merged with it to form a noxious concoction, creating a dense cloud of smoke.
Chilli panicked. She had been separated from her friends in the confusion and it was impossible to see them through the thick smoke.
“Ty! Oubaas! Where are you?” she screamed. She stumbled through the muck that had risen to above her thighs. She could hear Oubaas’s terrified shrieks as he paddled furiously to keep his head above the surface.
Then, “Over here! Follow the sound of my voice!” Ty yelled out to her.
“Ty! Help!” Chilli sobbed desperately. She was treading the sticky goo to stay afloat.
“Hang on! I’ll...” But Ty’s words were drowned out by the intercom.
“Zero hour!”
With that, the loading bay door burst wide open and the Effluvian Ocean flooded into the generator room like a tsunami.
“Eeeek!” Chilli shrieked as the massive wave tossed her around like a cork. She flailed about wildly, desperately trying to keep her head above the surface. “Heeelllp!”
“Chilliiii! I’m behind you! Grab hold of the Bow!” Ty shouted, holding the Bow out to her. Chilli reached out, grabbed hold of it and pulled herself towards Ty. Oubaas, who had followed the sound of his friend’s voice, joined them and hung onto Ty’s shoulder.
“You okay Chills?” Ty panted as they bobbed up and down in the ocean’s heaving waters.
“I think so. But I don’t know how much longer I can keep my head above water” Chilli gasped breathlessly.
“Hang on. We’ll be okay” said Ty. He glanced over his shoulder to check on Oubaas.
O-o-o, the terrified baboon murmured.
“We’ve got to get out of here!” Chilli gasped.
“I don’t...” Suddenly Ty’s head hit something hard. The dome! They were trapped against the top of the glass dome!
“Ouch!” complained Chilli as her head banged against the roof. There was now only enough space for their noses and mouths between the sludge and the dome.
“Ty,” she murmured, staring at her friend in terror as she realised they were going to drown.
“Take a deep breath before you go under!” cried Ty. Chilli took a huge lungful of air. Tears filled her eyes as she looked at Ty one last time before she sank beneath the surface.
The three friends held onto one another in a final act of defiance until finally, the last of the oxygen escaped from their lungs. Then their struggles stopped. The darkness on the outside matched the darkness in their minds as they used up the last of their oxygen. Then all was silent.
Outside the dome, a massive shape loomed out of the darkness of the Effluvian Ocean and swam to the dome. Then suddenly, it powerfully propelled itself towards the glass and struck the dome with enormous force, shattering it into thousands of pieces.
Out of the gloom, more dark shapes appeared. Together they swam through the destruction, searching for something. It didn’t take long for them to find what they had been looking for.