With her ankles resting on her thighs, Taylor interlaced her fingers and pressed her palms together.
“Breathe in,” she instructed in a soothing voice. She sucked in a cleansing breath and tried not to wince as the sharp gust of cold air cut through her.
Hot yoga seemed to be all the rage these days, but maybe she was in the midst of creating an entirely new trend: freeze your ass off yoga. She should embrace the goose bumps popping up along her forearms.
There were at least a dozen more suitable places she could have held this pop-up yoga class, but she needed to be here in Zilker Park and she refused to change the location. She hadn’t expected anyone to sign up after that cold front blew in yesterday, but to her surprise there were six brave souls willing to endure the elements of this chilly morning.
An even bigger shock, Samiah and London were counted in those six.
Their presence calmed her nearly as much as the asana yoga poses she’d guided the class through. Her mind and body needed this today.
“Stretch your hands to the sky,” Taylor guided, lifting her hands over her head. “And now back to your center.” She brought her palms together in the resting pose. “Another breath in. Feel your chest expand. Then push out everything that’s troubling you. Let the wind take it.”
She opened her eyes and glanced out at the class.
She was pretty sure London had fallen asleep. Her head was bowed low, her chin on her chest. Taylor couldn’t be upset. London had warned her this might happen.
She took the class through several more poses before bringing their session to a close.
After thanking them for joining her and passing out business cards, she walked over to where London and Samiah were rolling up their mats.
“Did you enjoy your nap?” she asked London.
“It was perfect,” she answered with a dreamy sigh. “Exactly what I needed before starting the marathon of surgeries I have today.” She tipped her head toward Samiah. “I’m happy she convinced me to come with her.”
“So am I,” Taylor said with a laugh.
“Have you gotten a phone call yet?” Samiah asked.
Taylor shook her head.
“It hasn’t even been twenty-four hours,” London said. “Maybe he’s still working up the nerve to call, or he’s meeting with lawyers to set up that foundation, or he drank away his sorrows over having to retire and he’s too hungover to use a phone. He’ll eventually call.” She hefted the mat strap over her shoulder. “My shift starts in an hour, so I need to get out of here.”
She gave them both quick hugs before taking off in the direction of Strafford Drive where she’d parked.
“She’s right, you know,” Samiah said. “Not about the hangover, although she may be right about that too. Lord knows he has reason to get drunk. But I think if you give him time, he’ll call.” She clamped a hand on Taylor’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “I need to get going myself. I have to go into the office.”
“On a Saturday?”
“Gotta make sacrifices if I’m gonna be the boss one day.”
“You got that right.” Taylor held her hand up for a high five. “Gimme some.”
Samiah obliged, but then her eyes grew wide and a smile drew across her face.
“You’ve got company,” she said.
Taylor turned in the direction she indicated.
Her breath caught.
Jamar leaned against the front of his parked Range Rover, feet braced apart, hands stuffed in the pockets of his tan corduroys. Taylor fully embraced the longing that swept through her. She’d spent most of the past week avoiding any mention of him, but ever since yesterday’s press conference, her heart fluttered like hummingbird wings within her chest just at the thought of him.
“Told you,” Samiah said. She gestured to several students from the class who still lingered. “Why don’t you finish up with these folks and then you can go to him? And you’d better text us to let us know how things go,” she added.
“I will,” Taylor said. “I’ll see you Friday night.”
“It’s next Saturday, remember? We’re getting together for Daniel’s birthday.”
“Oh yeah, right,” she said. “I knew that. See you next Saturday.”
As Taylor fielded questions about yoga poses from the two women who remained, she was hyperaware of the fact that Jamar stood less than thirty yards away. She didn’t have to look over her shoulder to know that he’d started walking toward her. She felt him in her bones.
“How much do you charge per hour as a personal trainer?” asked the woman with curly brunette hair.
“I’m sorry, but I won’t be taking on any new clients for a while,” Taylor answered. “I will continue to hold classes like this one. Keep an eye out for announcements on my Facebook page and Instagram account.”
“I will! This class was great, although I’d rather be somewhere warmer.”
So much for her new yoga trend.
“We’ll definitely be indoors next time,” Taylor said.
The smiles on both women’s faces grew wider as they looked past Taylor and waved.
“Hi! I’m a big fan, Diesel,” the brunette said.
“Thanks,” he answered.
The deep timbre of his voice caused more goose bumps to pop up along her skin. Taylor kept her back to him, even after the two women withdrew from the area she’d commandeered for this morning’s class. She needed a moment to gather herself.
“Taylor,” he called.
Anxiety knotted in her stomach as she turned to face him.
He still had his hands in his pockets. Any passerby who saw him would presume he was the epitome of relaxed and unbothered, but she noted the strain in his broad shoulders, the lines marring his forehead and bracketing his mouth.
“Hey,” she said, her heart pounding steadily against her rib cage.
“Hey,” he returned. He nudged his chin in the direction of the two women who’d just left. “Did I hear you say you aren’t taking on any clients?”
“Not anyone new.” She picked up her yoga mat and rolled it up so that she’d have something to do with her hands. Tucking it underneath her arm, she said, “A couple of my old regulars contacted me. I’ll be working with them and offering a few popup classes here and there, but I don’t want to take on too much.”
“Because of your ankle?” he asked. “Is it healing properly?”
“My ankle is fine,” Taylor said. She straightened her shoulders, any vestiges of modesty floating away on the wave of pride that swelled in her chest. “I don’t want to take on any new clients because if I do as well as I think I will do on the college entrance exam in a few weeks, I’ll be starting classes full-time when the winter semester begins.”
A small smile lifted one corner of Jamar’s mouth. “You registered to take the exam.”
“And I requested testing accommodations: extra time to complete the test and a proctor to read the questions out loud.”
“Good.” He nodded, his throat undulating as he swallowed.
Intolerably tense moments ticked by as they stood there facing each other. Disquiet filled the space between them, a cloud of unspoken words weighing heavy in the air.
“Did you see the press conference yesterday?” he asked.
“Yes. I think the foundation is a wonderful way to honor Silas’s memory.”
“Yeah, I think so too.” He glanced at the ground, then brought his eyes back to her. “I’m sorry, Taylor,” Jamar said, the words exiting his mouth on an achingly soft whisper. “I know sorry isn’t enough. There’s no excuse for the way I spoke to you the day you left, especially because you were right.”
Her brow arched. “Was I?”
“I was never going to accept a contract from any team. I’d made that decision while I was still on that call with Micah. But it was irresponsible for me to even consider going through with the workout after feeling that pain in my knee.”
“Were you the one who called it off?” she asked.
He nodded. “I had Micah contact the teams yesterday morning, about an hour before the livestream was supposed to start.”
“What made you cancel it?”
“It’s like you said, it wasn’t worth the risk. Knowing I wouldn’t play ball, no matter the outcome of the workout, it just didn’t make sense to put my body through that.” His gaze caught hers and held it. “I realized performing for those teams wouldn’t give me the one thing I’ve truly been seeking: Silas’s forgiveness.”
Taylor pulled her trembling bottom lip between her teeth, her throat tightening with empathy over the anguish she heard in his voice.
“Everything else I said I wanted, it was all bullshit,” Jamar said. “This was about Silas. It’s always been about Silas, about me trying to make up for what I stole from him. I’ve always known that in here,” he said, tapping the center of his chest. “But when you pointed it out that day in my office, it just . . . it hit me in a way I wasn’t ready for.”
“Hurting you was not my intention,” Taylor said, but then she stopped. Shaking her head, she admitted, “That’s a lie. I did want to hurt you. I was so furious that you let Micah talk you into going through with that workout. I didn’t think past my own anger. I should have, and I’m sorry.”
“No, I needed to hear it,” he said. He cast his eyes downward and toed a thin branch that had been carried by the wind. “I found out that Andrea, Silas’s sister, has known this whole time that Silas left the party to look for me. She knows that I ignored his calls that night, yet she doesn’t blame me for what happened. I figure if Drea can forgive me, maybe one day I’ll be able to forgive myself. I’m not there yet, but I’m working on it.”
He lifted his head and looked at her, his imploring eyes full of remorse and longing.
“But I’ll never forgive myself if I’ve messed up things with you, Taylor.”
The aching tenderness in his voice shattered her. She reached for him.
Jamar captured her hands and brought them to his lips, pressing a firm yet gentle kiss to the backs of her fingers.
“I’ve spent the past eight years existing, but not really living. I didn’t think I deserved a life. I definitely didn’t deserve happiness.” His mouth tipped up in the barest smile. “And then one day I came to this very park and found you, and my entire life changed.
“You showed me what it means to be happy, Taylor.” He bowed his head and with an anguished plea said, “Just tell me what I have to do to make this right, and it’s done. I’ll do anything. Everything. As long as I don’t have to let you go.”
A fierce rush of emotion surged through her, its intensity so powerful it took her breath away. Taylor captured his face in her hands and tilted it up so she could look at him.
“Damn you, Twenty-Three. How dare you make me cry in public,” she said with a tearful laugh. She ran her thumb over his lips before brushing her own against them. “You don’t have to do anything more,” she whispered. “Because I’m not letting you go either.” Taylor rested her forehead against his. They stood there for several moments before she said, “Now that you won’t be spending five hours in the gym every day, what are you going to do with all your time?”
He squinted as if contemplating. “Hmm . . . I think I’m going to Disney World. Care to join me?”