Chapter Nineteen

Frankie

After the rest of the weekend dreaming about Phantom—and recalling that he promised to tell me his name but he didn’t—I arrive at work Monday morning, only for my boss to ask me how the story’s going.

The BDSM-in-Manhattan story.

If she only knew.

The problem is my nondisclosure agreement. That’s also the problem with talking to Isabella about the story. Has Isabella ever been to the club I went to? I’ll never know because she can’t tell me. And I can’t tell her I was there.

Because of the NDA, I resort to an ad on social media asking for people to contact me—people who frequent leather lifestyle clubs in the city and are willing to speak to me confidentially.

I don’t expect to get a lot of responses because these things are confidential, so I’m more than surprised when I check my inbox during the afternoon and I find over thirty.

About two-thirds of the respondents are women, and the remaining third are men. That doesn’t surprise me. Women are more likely to talk than men are, but I want information from both.

I reply to each of them, asking if any of them would be willing to come into a private chat room with me and answer questions. Within five minutes, one man and four women respond affirmatively, so I set up the chat for the next day.

Then I think about Phantom.

I have a date with him at the bar next Saturday night. I still have the card he gave me, and I’ve been tempted to call him, but…I can’t. I can’t ruin the fantasy.

I have another hour to kill before I leave for the day, so I reach out via direct message to one of the female respondents who didn’t agree to a private chat.

Frankie: Do you have a few minutes to talk now?

Candy: Yes.

Frankie: Can you tell me your age?

Candy: I’m forty-seven.

Hmm. Surprising. I expected her to be in her twenties.

Frankie: Are there a lot of people in your age group at your club?

Candy: We have all ages. But most people are in their forties. Some in the late thirties, early fifties.

That’s a surprise.

Frankie: I know you can’t tell me the name of the club, but can you tell me a little bit about it?

Candy: I can try. I’ve been to a few here in the city.

Frankie: Which one is your favorite?

Candy: I don’t know that I can say I have a favorite. They all offer different things. For example, one of the clubs I like gives you a lot of privacy for your scenes. I’m not an exhibitionist by nature, so that’s what I prefer.

Frankie: Do you know a lot of exhibitionists?

Candy: I know a few. But I never see them in my favorite club, because there isn’t a lot of exhibition there.

Frankie: I understand. What kind of activities do you engage in at the club?

Candy: I’m a submissive by nature, so I play with Dominants.

Frankie: Men or women?

Candy: Mostly men, but I’ve played with a few women Doms. I prefer men, but once in a while, it’s fun to shake things up a bit.

Frankie: Is there anything specific that women do differently from men?

Candy: Honestly, it depends on the Dom. They’re all different, male or female.

Frankie: What about sex? Men and women have sex differently.

Candy: The female Doms I’ve played with used strap-ons, so it’s pretty similar.

Huh?

Frankie: You mean…

Candy: Yes. Exactly what it sounds like. A strap-on dildo. They come in all shapes and sizes.

Frankie: All shapes?

Candy: Yes. Most are normal shaped, but some of them are differently shaped, which allows for fantasies of aliens and such.

That comment would freak me out had I not been in the role-playing room just last night. I know what some people like to do.

Frankie: So you prefer men. Any particular reason for that?

Candy: Probably because I’m straight.

Frankie: Okay, that makes sense. So you prefer to play in private. With just one partner or multiple partners?

Candy: Usually with just one partner.

Frankie: Have you ever played in a public setting?

Candy: Once or twice. It’s not really my jam.

Frankie: I understand. When did you first find out you like this kind of play?

Candy: I’m a late bloomer. I’ve only been doing this for a few years. I got a divorce five years ago, and I just wanted something different. I wanted to try something I’d never tried before, so I got online and looked around. When I found a BDSM chat room, I was intrigued.

Frankie: How long after that did you actually get into the lifestyle?

Candy: I kind of dived right in. That’s not really the norm for me, but like I said I had just gotten out of a marriage, and I’m not getting any younger, so I wanted to try things.

Frankie: Do you have a specific partner you play with?

Candy: No, I’m not interested in a relationship. But there are people out there who play only with each other.

Frankie: I see.

Candy: I’m happy to talk again, but I’m running late for a meeting.

Frankie: That’s okay. Thank you so much for your candor, and I’ll definitely be in touch with you again. Is there a certain way you’d like to be credited in my article?

Candy: Yes, call me Candy.

Frankie: You got it, Candy. Thank you again.

Next, I reach out to one of the men who didn’t want to take part in the group chat. He agrees to message with me.

Frankie: I understand that all the clubs here in the area require confidentiality agreements, so you can’t tell me the names of the clubs or where they are, and you probably won’t want to use your real name, either. Is there a name you’d like to use in my article?

Erik: Yes. Erik.

Frankie: Very well, Erik. How long have you been involved in the lifestyle?

Erik: About ten years at this point.

Frankie: May I ask how old you are?

Erik: Of course. I’m thirty-five.

So that means he started when he was twenty-five. Interesting.

Frankie: How long have you known that you’re interested in this kind of thing?

My heart beats rapidly as I watch the three dots move.

Erik: I think subconsciously I’ve always known. I like regular sex as much as the next person. It’s great. And I enjoy it. But I always felt like something was missing. I crave danger. I crave the forbidden. I crave taboo.

Frankie: Why do you think that is?

Erik: I don’t know. Maybe because my life is a little bit mundane without it.

Frankie: It is? What do you do for a living?

Erik: I’m a medical doctor.

Frankie: What kind of doctor?

Erik: I prefer not to say.

Frankie: Why? Because you think it would make you more recognizable?

Erik: Maybe. Maybe I just don’t want to say.

Frankie: Does anyone in your life know that you participate in this lifestyle?

Erik: No. It’s very private to me.

Frankie: I understand. So does that mean you have a specific partner that you play with? Or do you play with multiple partners?

Erik: Multiple partners, but not multiple people at the same time. I play with only one person at a time, but I’m not in any kind of relationship.

Frankie: Why?

Erik: Because I choose not to be.

Frankie: Are you a Dominant or a submissive?

Erik: I’m a Dominant.

Frankie: What do you like about being a Dominant?

Erik: You’re probably looking for some kind of answer that makes sense. Like I love having control over my partner. But that’s not really it, at least not in my case. My sub is my equal in every way, more so than in a conventional relationship in some ways.

Frankie: I’m not sure I understand.

Erik: My submissive consents to everything I do. We talk beforehand about what her limits are and what my limits are. About what I expect out of the scene, about what she expects out of the scene.

Frankie: So in that respect, you’re both getting what you want.

Erik: Exactly.

Frankie: What kind of activities do you engage in with your partners?

Erik: Bondage, flogging, sometimes nipple torture, labia torture.

Labia torture? Good thing he can’t see my face about now.

Frankie: Can you elaborate?

Erik: Bondage is pretty self-explanatory, I think. I like to use leather bindings, sometimes silk. I don’t use ropes very often because I never took the time to learn the intricacies of it.

Frankie: And flogging?

Erik: What about it?

Frankie: What instruments do you use?

Erik: It depends on my partner, but most of them like what I do with a riding crop.

I gulp audibly.

Frankie: And the rest?

Erik: What do you mean?

Oh, God. He’s going to make me say it.

Frankie: Nipple torture.

I can’t bring myself to type “labia torture.”

Erik: Right. Nipple torture. Most submissives love that. Especially if they have sensitive nipples. I use clamps for the most part.

Frankie: And the rest?

Erik: Labia torture? Again, clamping mostly.

Frankie: And women enjoy this?

Erik: You’d be surprised.

God, yes, I’d be surprised.

Frankie: Anything else that you engage in?

Erik: I’ve tried a lot of things. These are the things I enjoy the most. But if there’s something that a submissive wants that I don’t normally do, I will entertain the idea if I feel I can do it without putting either one of us in any danger.

Frankie: Danger? What could be dangerous?

Erik: There have been times when my partner has asked me to draw blood.

Blood sports. Isabella mentioned that. So did Phantom. Still…acid crawls up my throat.

Frankie: Drawing blood? Is that safe?

Erik: Absolutely, when done correctly. And I will not engage in it unless I feel that I can do it with absolutely no danger to my partner or myself.

Frankie: How do you do it?

Erik: There are many different ways. Needles probably are the most common.

I’m afraid to ask him to elaborate. But this is research for work. I have to ask. Before I can, though, another message pops up.

Erik: All the instruments are sterilized beforehand, and an antibiotic ointment is applied when we’re done. I also make sure that she checks in with me both twenty-four and forty-eight hours later.

Frankie: And clubs let you do this?

Erik: Actually, not all clubs do. But some will. Then of course you can do anything you want if you have the privacy of your own dungeon.

Frankie: Do you have your own dungeon?

Erik: Not at the moment.

Frankie: I see. Thank you so much for your candor. May I contact you again if I need more information?

Erik: Absolutely. And remember it’s Erik. Erik with a K.