IT WAS all right for Mags to say don’t worry – it was always fine when he was with her – but he had to go home.
It was so late when he got back that he was surprised to find his dad was still up, sitting there with a face like a rainy day. He yelled at Robbie about how worried he and Sheila had been.
‘Sheila’s so worried she’s in bed asleep, Dad, I can hear her snoring,’ Robbie replied.
His dad hated that. Robbie meant him to.
Next morning Robbie came downstairs singing softly to himself. Like Mum. She always used to sing, no matter what she was doing. He pulled on his jacket to go out. The kitchen door opened behind him.
‘I don’t think you’ll be needing that, Robbie.’
Robbie turned to see his dad blocking the way. He stopped singing.
‘I’m going out, Dad,’ he said. ‘’Scuse me.’ He went to push past and they scuffled, because his dad was trying not to unfold his arms and lose his dignity. His dad let his body sway to one side to narrow the gap, and, too late, realized that wasn’t going to be enough and had to make a lunge at the last moment. But then Sheila sailed out of the kitchen where she had been listening and Robbie was outnumbered.
He knew what was coming next. A round-the-kitchen-table-what-shall-we-do-about-Robbie session. He pushed back a lock of black curling hair and narrowed his eyes, running his tongue over his lips. For all his misgivings, there was a determined look about him, a wiliness, almost a slyness. He had dark eyes, good cheekbones and a chin that didn’t look as if he would take no for an answer. He stuck his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans, planted his feet in their mud-caked blue-and-white Air Max trainers well apart, and waited.
‘We just don’t know what we’re going to do with you.’
‘Frankly, I’m nearing the end of my tether.’
‘Personally, I’ve reached the end of mine.’
‘We thought that bringing you here would help you, but it doesn’t seem to be having much effect. We only came for your sake.’
That’s a lie, Dad, thought Robbie. You grew up here and Sheila wanted to start over.
‘Maybe the new school is the problem.’
Of course it is, he thought. It’s full of kids I don’t know and I don’t understand a word they’re saying. I don’t understand their accents and I don’t get their world.
‘I thought the countryside would have a calming effect.’
‘Half the time we just don’t know where you are.’
‘Out till all hours,’ said Sheila. ‘And we know where that kind of behaviour leads.’
‘We just can’t go on like this.’
‘We get nothing back from you, despite everything we’ve done.’
‘You don’t seem to care about other people, especially your family.’
‘Arrogance, that’s all it is. Pure and simple.’
‘And immaturity.’
‘And immaturity.’
He had been convicted of arson and sentenced to a Youth Rehabilitation Order, he deserved better than this.
Sheila was the choker in everything. She filled the house like a cloud, pressing against the walls, clogging the stairs, rubbing against the ceilings, curling down pipes, seeping under the beds and coiling round his throat. She made him feel breathless. Lots of things can make you feel breathless: excitement, terror, unhappy situations. Sheila was an unhappy situation. Sheila was an unhappy situation that wanted him out, out of this house, out of her life.
She got up and put her hand on her hip and arched slightly, grimacing with pain. His dad gave her a worried look, then his face softened and he tilted his head as if to ask if she was all right. To Robbie’s disgust she stood behind his dad and placed both hands on his shoulders to take the weight off her feet, then stroked his head and hobbled over to the kettle.
‘This sort of thing’s no good for my back,’ she said.
‘Hypochondriac,’ said Robbie, going too far and conjuring a firestorm of angry retribution. The result was predictable, in fact, inevitable. It had been coming all along. Not allowed to leave the house without telling them where he was going. Curfew at six etc.
‘The garden?’ he asked wearily.
‘What about it?’ said his dad.
‘Can I go into the garden?’ He couldn’t stand the house, he couldn’t stand the fields; he had to go somewhere.
His dad said yes before Sheila could intervene. Robbie leaped from his chair and ran to the back door.