MAGS WASN’T moving, her head was on the ground as if she’d given up at last. She’d gone too, far away.
What had she said? Follow her? How can you follow something you can’t see in a field in moonlight? But the moonlight was very bright now. It was pure, very white.
The flames were inching towards Billy. They had reached the truck. The tyres started to go one after another, the truck jumping as they blew. Billy stomped through the fire, gunning the engine into reverse so the truck slewed away fast.
Robbie looked down at Mags. The stubble didn’t reach this far, so if he went she’d be okay. It was her or Fleet, but Fleet was nowhere to be seen, so he didn’t need to make any decisions yet. He bent down to touch her neck.
No response. She was warm, at least.
This was how she’d said it would be, how she’d known it would be. So quick, so sharp, so neat.
People would be coming soon.
‘Mags,’ he hissed. ‘Mags.’
There was a faint movement, a flicker of her eyelids. He stroked her hair, then rolled her over so the moonlight fell full on her face. Her eyes opened.
‘Where am I?’
‘How long have you got?’
‘Is it over?’
Robbie looked up over her head.
‘Not yet.’
Fleet was in the field again.
Mags followed his gaze.
When Fleet started to run he didn’t think about staying. It was as if a voice in the back of his head was commanding him to go, go now. She didn’t run too fast, because of the damage to her left leg. Even so, keeping up wasn’t easy. Everywhere was light, it was like running along the underside of the surface of the sea in sunshine. Her whiteness blended like camouflage, but she was lolloping not belting, and she was going down the road between shining hedgerows, down past fields and crossroads. There was no one about, and soon they were among the outlying houses of the village. Robbie could see his house on the right, then the Allardyces’, then he was down the road and passing the store, all the time wondering how long this was going to go on for, feeling like it could be forever. He didn’t think he could do forever.
He saw her turning uphill, up the road to the church, and they were climbing again. He felt a surge of energy. He didn’t know where it was coming from, but suddenly he thought maybe he could do forever after all.
The lights were on in the church, though it was empty. The door was wide open.
A movement caught his eye. In the graveyard among the moon-washed tombs were three solemn brown hares, sitting in a circle, their eyes on him. There was a feeling in the air, not kind, but not frightening either, like a stilled heartbeat, a suspension of things.
The universe was full of things he didn’t understand. Dark energy. Dark matter. Dark matters.
And something was ending here, Robbie realized, in this churchyard, in this church, which was full of good old human light. Something that had happened many times before in the same place. A story that rolled like a wave or the curl of a whip though time and space, through seen and unseen, and there had never been anything anyone had ever been able to do to stop it.
He went into the church. The candles were lit. It felt warm and smelled of the benevolence of time.
Was he expecting to find Fleet sitting under the cross looking pleased with herself, or sorry for what she’d done?
She was nowhere to be seen. Maybe she hadn’t come inside in the first place. Why would she? But he was sure he had seen her run in, and he was sure she was here somewhere.
He took his time walking up the aisle, squinting along the pews. In front of the altar he stopped. He thought about saying a prayer, but he’d never done that before, and he wasn’t going to start now. Then he saw the vestry door was open, and the light was on. And he remembered Mags, radiant in the long mirror.
There was someone in the mirror this time too.
‘Fran,’ Robbie said.
She didn’t say anything, she just looked at him. She was wearing a white dress, like the first time he’d seen her, and her left shin was covered in bright red blood. Robbie was shocked by the sight of it. It was a bad wound, but her face was peaceful and calm, not angry or sad or even happy. She wasn’t locked in the past any more, and she didn’t seem to be in any pain. And as he recovered himself, he remembered Mags’s words when he’d seen Fran by the pool, about mirrors and dimensions and twinning. Fleet must be behind the door, he thought, but he knew he wasn’t going to see her again in that shape. He could only see her reflection in the mirror, her original self, for a little while. And even as these thoughts came to him, Fran began to fade, but as she did so she was replaced by another woman, then another, just like outside the garage, and so many came so fast, a hurricane of faces, Robbie couldn’t keep up with them, until one stayed.
His mum.
She looked peaceful too, and healthy. No illness wrinkles, no wrinkles at all. She was smiling at him.
And as they looked at each other, there was something new, a new feeling he experienced, and he didn’t know what it meant, but it was as if she was telling him something. It was a feeling, and it was a thought.
It doesn’t have to be this way, Robbie.
He didn’t know whether she was saying this to him, or whether he was saying it to himself. But a deep peace spread through him, even as he raised his hand towards her, hoping to touch her, to stop her from going. Step out of the mirror and be with me again.
It doesn’t have to be this way.
He knew what she meant, because he was remembering her letter, and he was no longer angry. As she faded away she smiled slightly and blew him a kiss, and in the church the lights began to dim. The candles were going out one by one, leaving the smell of wax heavy in the air. Slowly they were extinguished, and the lights were switching themselves off, and soon Robbie turned and he ran, through the darkening church that smelled of love into the warm bright night.