LIFE CRISES AND COPING

Crises are inevitable. In fact, life could be described as a series of crises. We all experience crises of varying types and degrees of intensity throughout our lifetime.

Webster defines a crisis as a “turning point.” A crisis, then, comes about because of a change, usually one perceived as hazardous. Before a crisis begins, a person is in a relative state of equilibrium. Picture a triangle, sitting on its base, a flat surface. When the crisis hits, our life triangle tips up on end, no longer on level ground. As caregivers to those in crisis, we have the privilege of being used by God to help restore a sense of equilibrium.

Life-changing events, which set the stage for crises, may come because of the natural maturing process, or they may come as a surprise. While circumstances may have been building for a time, the precipitating event marks the actual beginning of the crisis state.

Crises that develop because of unexpected happenings are called accidental crises. These result from events that bring too much change over too brief a period. If this change is perceived as a threat (and it frequently is), then a crisis is likely to develop. Examples of events that may precipitate an accidental crisis include:

  • Serious illness
  • An automobile accident
  • Loss of a limb
  • Getting fired from one’s job
  • Death of a child

The intensity of the crisis will depend on several factors, including:

Common emotional responses to a crisis include crying, anger, guilt, and remorse. Common physical reactions include stomach pains, tightness in the throat, numbness and tingling in the extremities, headaches, and a stiff neck. Behavioral disorders, such as difficulties in sleeping, eating, and working are also common. Obviously, the crisis state, which yields disorganization and confusion, can affect many aspects of a person’s life at one time.

For the most part, people experience the crisis state with all its intensity for a limited time, usually four to six weeks. That six-week period is a window of opportunity that opens the widest in the first twenty-four hours of the crisis. Whoever jumps in first has the greatest opportunity to affect the direction of the change that will result.

As a caregiver, it is important that you recognize your own capabilities and limitations in crisis care and that you have other people available to share the load. This involves a team — usually acquaintances of the individual in crisis — who can come around the person in crisis, carrying various parts of the load.

Scripture offers us insight into how to help those in crisis. According to Galatians 6:1-5, when there is a burden too big for another to handle alone, we are to help carry that burden. Later on in that same passage we are told that each should carry his or her own load. Others must share the burden; the load involves those areas of personal responsibility that the individual must work through with God.

Another crucial guideline for crisis work is not to accept a third party’s definition of a situation. Check out the facts! This is especially significant in referral situations, when a third party defines the crisis of someone else. All crises have the characteristic of urgency, but not all crises are emergencies. People often take an urgent situation and convert it into an emergency, resulting in irrational response. An urgent matter requires immediate attention. An emergency requires immediate action to prevent dire consequences. A crisis may involve an emergency, or it may not. Check out all pertinent information when asked to become involved in a crisis.

As an intervener in a crisis, you may not have to do much to provide the needed help. Simply being there to listen and to assist in exploring the options may be what is needed to help a person turn a crisis into an opportunity for growth. Without intervention, the hurting person is likely to opt for the course of least resistance, which all too often results in inadequate adjustment to the event.

Don’t forget to pray and to ask for God’s help. I can’t emphasize enough how imperative it is to pray with and for people through the course of the crisis. That is where the real power is. The apostle Paul declared that we are weak but He is strong: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Our confidence comes in understanding that God’s purposes and ways are much higher than ours, regardless of life’s difficulties. There is purpose in our suffering:

In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith — of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire — may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls. (1 Peter 1:6-9)

It is a rare privilege, indeed, to be allowed to intervene in another’s crisis.