SUICIDE THREATS — WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?

If someone tells you he or she is considering suicide …

Do

  1. Take all plans and threats seriously (even if you suspect this is “merely a plea for attention”). You cannot take the risk that you may be wrong.
  2. Be direct. Talk openly and matter-of-factly about suicide. Inquire about a suicide plan and the means to carry out that plan. For example, “Are you considering harming yourself?” If the person says yes, follow up with “Do you have a plan?”
  3. Be a good listener. Make an open-ended statement, such as “I am so sorry that you hurt so much.” Allow expression of feelings and accept those feelings.
  4. Help the person understand that the consequences are permanent.
  5. Get involved and take action. Remove the means by which the person has planned to commit suicide, such as a gun or stockpiled pills.
  6. Affirm there is hope. Discuss other difficult times and remind them they have gotten through those times.
  7. Set up a plan for help, which includes you as the caregiver having a professional you may call for help. In introducing the help plan to the suicidal person, say something like “We’ll go together to talk with … ” “I will help you sort this out.”
  8. Get help from hotlines or agencies (Boys Town National Hotline — 1-800-448-3000 — or National Suicide Prevention — 1-800-273-8255).
  9. Ask the person to tell his or her parents, spouse, best friends, and so on. (If the person is underage, call the parents.) Have the person make the call right then. Tell the person if he or she refuses, you must alert family members and friends, because the person’s safety is very important to you.
  10. Have the person commit to call you first (make sure he or she has your number) if seriously contemplating suicide. You must be available 24/7.

Don’t

  1. Don’t dare the person to follow through on his or her threat.
  2. Don’t act shocked with what the person tells you. This will put a distance between you.
  3. Don’t be sworn to secrecy.
  4. Don’t be judgmental.
  5. Don’t debate, either about the issues involved or the need to get help. It is better to have a person angry with you, the caregiver, than to have him or her dead.