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HORACE GROANED LOUDLY and buried his face in his hands. He began to rock back and forwards. Sensing his master was in distress, Trotsky came padding over to investigate. He nudged Horace with his head but received no response. Looking woebegone, he sat on his haunches and began to whine. This stirred James in a way nothing else seemed to. He raised his head from contemplation of his mug and poked his brother in the arm.
‘Buck up, Nellie,’ he said sternly. ‘You’re upsetting Trotsky.’
‘Sorry, old chap,’ Horace instantly ceased rocking and instead stroked the dog’s head. ‘Why don’t you go and fetch your hat?’
The pooch wagged his few inches of tail and shot off like a puppy.
‘Please excuse Trotsky,’ Horace addressed the assembled group. ‘He gets upset whenever he hears Diane’s name mentioned.’
Before any of them could enquire further into this, Trotsky was back with something in a shade of dusky pink clamped between his jaws. He dropped the item onto his master’s lap and sat down on his haunches looking eager. Horace gently pulled the hat over the dog’s right ear. Trotsky put his head on one side and seemed to be inviting the guests to admire his head attire.
‘That’s one of Diane’s beanies,’ Simone said. ‘I was with her the day she bought it. She has a matching one in green.’
‘Yes,’ Horace nodded as if it was the most natural thing in the world for his pooch to be wearing it. ‘Trotsky misses her a lot.’ He turned to the dog. ‘Why don’t you put it away safely, old man,’ he suggested kindly. ‘You don’t want anything to go amiss with it.’
The dog lowered his head and the hat fell onto the floor. He picked it up with his teeth and trotted off again, presumably to stow it safely away. Simone eyed Dorothy out of the corner of her eye, but her friend’s gaze remained firmly riveted to the hairy man at the end of the table. She decided to keep schtum for another minute and see how things panned out. Dorothy had other ideas.
‘Simone,’ she said quietly, ‘do you remember the day we discovered Diane’s feelings for Horace? The day after his twenty-ninth birthday?’
Simone snorted. ‘I’m hardly likely to forget it,’ she said harshly. ‘What a Charlie Foxtrot.’
‘Why don’t you tell us about it,’ Dorothy suggested gently. ‘I think it will help to clear things up if the men understand precisely what occurred that day.’
‘Okay,’ Simone shifted uncomfortably, ‘although I want it on record that I’m doing this under duress. In my opinion, we should let sleeping dogs lie. There’s no reasoning with Dottie when she’s in one of her crazy moods. Quite frankly, I don’t know how any of you can tolerate working for her.’
She stared hard at the men, challenging them to argue. They remained silent and she saw she was not going to get a rise out of them.
‘Fine,’ she muttered rebelliously. ‘Why not lay it all bare while we’re sitting here so cosy? When Diane was younger, Horace used to tutor her in chess. When she turned eighteen, he started giving her grinds in English and modern languages as well. She used to spend a lot of time over here, but neither Dottie nor I ever suspected anything was going on between them.
‘For starters, Horace is ten years older than Di, and, no offence intended, he’s not exactly a pin-up. Diane was always attracted to clean-cut, high achieving types, and she had a lovely boyfriend called Matthew at the time, who was perfect for her. There was no reason for us to worry, or so we thought. About a month before the Leaving Cert exams, Horace turned twenty-nine. Dottie was at work all day so she didn’t see him, but the next morning he showed up on her doorstep looking as if he’d seen a ghost. He told her Diane had offered herself to him as his birthday present. She wanted him to be her first.’
‘Lord a mercy,’ Clive mumbled on the other side of the table.
‘Yes,’ Simone nodded at the protection officer emphatically. ‘To be perfectly honest, I was quite surprised she managed to hang on to her virginity for so long. She was almost nineteen years old at the time. Especially as Josh lost his so young.’
‘That might be a story for another day,’ Dorothy cut in.
‘Sorry,’ Simone said apologetically. ‘Horace let Diane down as gently as possible and as soon as the coast was clear he went rushing over to throw himself on Dottie’s mercy and beg for help. At first, Dottie thought he might be winding her up. Worse still, she was worried Diane might be playing a cruel joke on the guy. Don’t forget the girl was in a relationship with the captain of the chess club, and seemed blissfully happy with the boy.
‘Initially, Dottie didn’t take what Horace was saying too seriously and, after he calmed down, she promised to sort it out and sent him home. Diane was out with Emily at the time. When she got back, Dottie sat her down and told her they had to have a serious chat about playing games with other people’s emotions. She told Diane she knew all about what she had been up to with Horace.’
Simone paused and stared down into the dregs of her tea. ‘I can’t believe you’re forcing me to repeat all this, Dottie,’ she said without looking at her friend. ‘It’s not right. I’m clearing this table.’
She abruptly stood up and spent a minute transferring the empty mugs and cutlery to the worktop near the sink. Then she removed the teapot and trivet and gave the table a quick wipe with a scrap of cloth. Nobody spoke or moved while she did this, and she resigned herself to the fact she could delay no longer. She reclaimed her place next to her friend and took up the sad tale where she had previously left off.
‘Instead of Diane denying any of it, or admitting she had played a nasty prank on Horace, she was pleased to hear her mother wanted to chat about it.’
‘She was?’ Clive looked puzzled.
‘Oh, yes,’ Simone sounded bitter. ‘She informed Dottie that herself and Horace were in love. She said he was being coy about the whole thing because of the age gap, and because he had some weird notion that everybody would disapprove of their relationship. Diane assured her mum that Horace wanted nothing more than to marry her.’
‘The fuck,’ from Clive.
‘Dottie got a terrible shock,’ Simone watched the Welshman. ‘She called and asked me to come straight over. Fortunately, I was working nearby that day so I got here pretty sharpish. She explained the situation and asked me to talk to Diane. The three of us sat down and I tried to explain to Di that she had made a mistake. I told her Horace wasn’t in love with her. I assured her he had no desire to marry her, and he certainly didn’t want to be the beneficiary of her virginity. She refused to believe us. Dottie and I were at our wit’s end.
‘Then Dottie had the brainwave of describing the terrible state Horace was in over the whole episode. She explained to Di that he had been over to see her and begged for her help. When Diane heard this, she was confused. Why would Horace ask her mother for help with getting rid of her? He loved her. In point of fact, he adored her. He was her future husband and the father of her children. Why would he go running to her own mother just because she was trying to move things along between them? She was almost nineteen and he was twenty-nine. Did I mention Diane decided they couldn’t wait forever, and chose his birthday as a way of giving Horace a little nudge?’
‘But when she heard he’d been over to tell the boss what occurred, she began to have her doubts,’ Clive guessed.
‘That’s exactly it,’ Simone sighed. ‘The rot began to set in and she realised she had misconstrued their friendship as something very different. We explained to her it’s the easiest thing in the world to misread that sort of situation. We assured her people do it every day of the week, and there was no need to blame herself for getting it so wrong. But the damage was done.’
‘We watched her heart breaking,’ Dorothy spoke in a dead voice. ‘I never thought I’d ever see that happening. You expect your children to have to suffer through certain events in their lives, and you understand you can’t protect them forever, but I actually witnessed my baby’s heart breaking that day. It was as if she shattered like a mirror in front of my very eyes.’
‘She withdrew into herself,’ Simone fought back a tear, ‘very like she’s doing right now. She hardly spoke for days and refused to leave her room. We were at our wit’s end again, but then Dottie had another brainwave.’
‘I promised her she would never have to see Horace again if she pulled herself together and got her life back on track,’ Dorothy told them sorrowfully. ‘I raided the college fund and rented an apartment for the twins in Santry. They left Shankill without Diane and Horace ever coming face to face again. She hardly came back to visit, and when she did, she was jumpy and couldn’t relax. It began to affect our relationship.
‘At Christmas, she begged me to sell the house and move away from the area, but I was worried about getting into debt. I promised her I would think about it, but I honestly didn’t feel at all comfortable about trying to carve out a life for myself away from here. Two weeks later, along came the lottery and I took it as a sign I should move. The first thing I did on the day I collected my winnings was draw out some cash for Horace, and the second thing I did was make an offer on Falcon. I knew Horace would be disappointed when he heard I was leaving the area, and hoped the money might go some way towards cheering him up.’
‘That’s how you could afford to glaze the back wall,’ James addressed his brother directly. ‘The boss gave you some of her winnings.’
Horace’s eyes were boring holes in Dorothy’s face and he ignored his sibling. ‘Why are you telling us all this?’ he asked croakily.
‘You know why, you hairy sonuvabitch,’ she replied calmly.
‘I’m not sure he does, Dottie,’ Simone said doubtfully. ‘I’m not sure any of us do.’
Dorothy pointed a finger at Horace which had a brightly polished blue nail on the tip. ‘The not-so-honourable Nelson Kirwan-Taylor knows,’ she said in a hard voice. ‘If he’s man enough to admit the truth.’
‘What’s going on, Nellie?’ James poked his brother in the arm. ‘Tell the truth and shame the devil, as Nanny used to say.’
‘I can’t talk about it, Dam,’ Horace replied pitifully.
‘Did you hurt the girl?’ James suddenly looked worried. ‘Physically I mean. Did you force her?’
A great roaring bear of a creature came up out of his chair and grabbed James by the neck. Horace threw his brother onto the kitchen table and wrapped his hands around his throat. Simone gasped with horror and jumped to her feet, knocking over her chair. Clive also stood up, minus any of the drama. Marco and Dorothy remained seated and watched the brothers impassively.
‘Don’t you dare come into my house, Damerel Kirwan-Taylor,’ Horace roared at his brother, ‘and accuse me of raping my angel girl. Who the fuck do you think you are, you sick fuck?’
‘Don’t hurt him, Clive!’ Dorothy said sharply.
‘Let your brother go and put your arse back on that chair or I’m going to beat the living crap out of you,’ Clive gave Horace an unflinching look. ‘The only reason you’re not writhing in agony right now is because of your family connections. Cease and desist. Try to remember you’re not confrontational.’
Horace slowly released James and reclaimed his seat. Clive assisted his friend off the table. James rubbed his neck and regarded his brother ruefully. ‘Good to know you still have the same beastly temper, old man,’ he sounded amused. ‘What the fuck was that all about?’
‘You as good as accused him of raping Diane,’ Simone said sharply. ‘Oh my God!’
‘What?’ James looked at her. ‘What’s oh my God? What’s going on?’
Simone’s right fist unexpectedly shot out and caught Horace a smack in the jaw. ‘You sonuvabitch,’ she hissed. ‘You broke her heart for nothing.’
‘You need to work on that right hook,’ James told her. ‘He didn’t even blink. What was for nothing? I’m confused.’
‘It was all true,’ Simone hung her head and groaned. ‘He was madly in love with her. He wanted to marry her and be the father of her children. He totally desired her as a woman and wanted to be her first. He was holding back because he thought he wasn’t good enough for her, and was afraid of all the opposition to the relationship. Everything Di told us that day was correct. We spent two hours convincing the girl to believe a pack of lies.’
‘We really put our backs into it,’ Dorothy nodded in agreement. ‘We were so convincing, she fell for it. She believed us when we said he didn’t love her, but of course it wasn’t true. He was madly in love with her and would have married her in a heartbeat. Wouldn’t you Horace?’
He hung his head in shame and nodded. ‘Yes,’ he said hoarsely. ‘She’s the only girl I’ve ever loved. You see, for a long time I believed I was alone in my madness,’ he raised his head again so they could see his face.
‘There was never really a time when I didn’t love her, and as she grew older, I began to fantasise about us settling down and spending the rest of our lives together. As you so rightly point out, I’m not much of a catch, and never expected her to return my feelings. I was hoping to enjoy a few more years of her company before I had to let her go completely. Imagine my shock when she announced one day she was well aware of how I felt about her, and told me my feelings were reciprocated. She laughed at me. She said when we were married, I would have to keep my hair under some sort of control because she wouldn’t want everyone to think her husband was some sort of wild beast.’
‘Good Lord,’ James regarded his sibling in shock.
‘Why didn’t you go for it?’ Clive was puzzled. ‘You’re the son of an earl for feck sake.’
‘Diane was unaware of that salient fact,’ Horace replied sadly. ‘And I hadn’t thought about that part of my life for many years. I don’t think about Nelson for months at a time. In many ways, he has been as dead to me these past ten years as he has to the rest of the family. There was never any question of approaching the governor and throwing myself on his mercy so I could marry Diane. The notion never as much as crossed my mind.
‘I had nothing to offer the girl, and was not prepared to watch her life being destroyed by her association with me. Besides, she was far too young to know her own mind. Therefore, I let her go. I went to see Dorothy and asked for her assistance. I didn’t tell her my true feelings, of course, because at the time it seemed to be the wisest course of action.’
‘Wuss,’ Clive muttered.
‘You don’t think about us?’ James looked taken aback by this admission.
‘Not for many years,’ Horace replied gently. ‘Until I saw you at Liam’s funeral that day, I had almost forgotten I ever had a brother called Damerel.’
‘It kind of makes sense when he explains it like that,’ Simone said begrudgingly. ‘I can sort of understand he felt that Di was too young and would be throwing herself away on him.’
‘Yes, it sort of makes sense,’ Dorothy agreed sadly. ‘Tell me this, Nelson, if you could turn the clock back and return to that fateful day in May 2010, would you do anything differently?’
To their combined astonishment, a fat tear escaped from Horace’s eye and rolled down his cheek. He dashed it away impatiently. ‘Always been a tad wet,’ he explained apologetically. ‘It used to drive the governor nuts.’
‘What would you do differently?’ Simone rubbed his arm compassionately.
‘Everything,’ he gave an almighty sniff. ‘I would have whisked her off and married her before she had time to change her mind and discover she didn’t love me after all. I’d be D-Ly’s son-in-law now if I had followed my heart and not been such a wuss. You see I made the mistake of assuming I would get a second chance. I hoped when she got a little older and knew her own mind better we might be able to forge some sort of relationship. It never crossed my mind that she would walk away from me without looking back even once. I was a complete and utter fool, and I’ve paid a heavy price for my ineptitude. I blew my one chance at happiness and I only have myself to blame.’
‘How long have you been aware of the truth, Dottie?’ Simone was looking a little teary eyed herself.
‘I visited Horace here on the night I collected my winnings,’ her friend replied. ‘I used to blame him for the twins leaving. It was hard for me to forgive him for hurting Diane, even though I knew he didn’t mean to do it. I felt sorry for him because I used to believe he had worked as a teacher and lost his career over a scandal. I assumed that was the reason he was so freaked out over Diane’s infatuation with him, because it brought back all the trauma associated with that time in his life. It just goes to show how easy it is to invent a story about somebody and tweak the facts to fit your invention. Anyway, I came around that night to tell him that I was leaving Shankill and give him the money and I saw the chair.’
‘What chair?’ Simone frowned.
‘There’s a rocking chair on the other side of the fireplace,’ James told her. ‘It’s tiny.’
‘He designed it to suit her measurements,’ Dorothy said. ‘As soon as I laid eyes on that rocker, I knew something wasn’t right. I sent the inscription off to Josh and asked him to translate it.’
‘There’s a Latin sentence carved into the back,’ James explained to a confused Simone.
‘What does it say?’ she sounded impatient.
‘A home and a pleasing wife,’ James replied in a hollow voice. ‘Roy texted me the translation earlier. I assumed Nellie had fallen for the boss, but clearly I was mistaken.’
‘You knew he hadn’t made the chair for you,’ Simone looked at Dorothy, who shrugged.
‘Horace and I go way back,’ she sighed. ‘He’s been a good friend to me over the years, and quite frankly there were many times when I don’t know how I would have coped without him. I know he loves me like a sister, or even a mother. But he’s never harboured any romantic feelings for me. I don’t know much, but I know that with absolute certainty. It didn’t take me long to work out who the chair was for. But by then it was too late to do anything.
‘Diane had been living in Santry for months and as far as I was aware she had a new boyfriend. She was making a real effort to get her life back on track, and I certainly wasn’t going to tell her she had been right all along, and Horace was desperate to be the father of her children. Even if I had told her my suspicions, what good would it have done? She never mentioned his name and she forbade us all to discuss him within her hearing. To this day, Josh and Deco have to sneak over here to visit him. After that horrible day, Diane acted as if she hated him.’
‘Bad luck, old chap,’ James murmured sympathetically. ‘You really screwed up.’
Horace regarded his brother with something akin to hostility and said, ‘You’ll be forty in December, Dam. You must have a wife and family of your own by now. What’s the lady’s name?’
James squirmed and shifted his body on the chair. ‘I’m still single,’ he said curtly. ‘It would appear you’re not the only one who’s lacking a certain address in his dealings with the fairer sex.’
Seeing he had made his point, Horace unexpectedly chuckled and thumped his brother on the arm. ‘Never mind, old boy,’ he said cheerfully. ‘She’s bound to be back soon.’
‘Who’s bound to be back soon?’ James looked startled.
‘Horace,’ Dorothy spoke in a warning voice. ‘Please be careful what you say next. He doesn’t know her name or where she is.’
‘Who?’ James looked thunderstruck. ‘Who don’t I know about?’
‘You really don’t know,’ Horace smiled sadly. ‘I couldn’t believe it when I realised the woman of your dreams is a friend of Dorothy’s. It seemed like such a bizarre coincidence. But I suppose that’s life with D-Ly. One never knows what the cosmos might deliver into her orbit.’
‘He’s talking about the woman from the dream,’ Clive said in an undertone to Marco. ‘Jimmy’s future wife.’
Would somebody mind telling me what the fuck you’re all ranting about,’ Simone said crossly. ‘In all honesty, the bunch of you sound as if you should be committed.’
‘I’ll explain the whole thing to you and Charlie later,’ Dorothy placed a hand on her friend’s arm. ‘You might not get a chance to meet her. I doubt she’ll be back until closer to Clive’s wedding.’
‘You had better explain it to me,’ Simone grumbled. ‘In my condition, it’s not right to be torturing me like this.’
Horace instantly perked up. ‘You’re pregnant?’
‘Five months,’ she smiled shyly at him. ‘It was a turkey baster job.’
‘I’ve often wondered about the process,’ he seemed more than happy to become embroiled in a discussion about artificial insemination, and Clive felt it behoved him to interrupt before they got carried away. He elbowed his partner and said, ‘Jimmy has a recent pic of Diane if you’d like to see it.’
Horace immediately forgot about semen and turned to his brother. Desperately trying to focus in the face of so many distractions and disclosures, James extracted his phone and flicked to the photos folder. He brought up an image and held up the gadget so Horace could clearly see it. A large hairy finger gently touched the screen and a pair of hazel eyes filled with tears.
‘Why is she wearing a ball gown?’ he sniffed.
Simone leaned over so she could see the picture. ‘It’s the dress Dottie wore to the gala dinner with Dorian Ganley,’ she explained. ‘We all tried it on. It looks amazing on Diane; it could have been made for her. That girl was made for emeralds.’
Horace raised his eyes and stared accusingly at his brother. ‘Why are you taking photographs of Diane trying on clothes?’ he asked in a hard voice.
‘I let her into the master suite,’ James replied coolly. ‘Whoever’s on duty always has to take a pic of her. How else is she to know what she looks like? The mirror might occasionally lie, but the camera never does. Would you like to see one of her wearing her mother’s pink bikini?’
They all distinctly heard the growl deep in Horace’s throat. James’s mouth twitched as if he had gotten the response he expected. Looking amused, he ran his thumb along the screen and brought up the next picture.
‘She wanted to try on the matching set of jewellery so I fetched it from the safe,’ he sounded quite cheerful. ‘Care to see your little girl in the full ensemble?’ He held the phone facing outwards so Simone could also get the full effect.
‘What do you mean, you fetched the jewellery from the safe?’ Horace sounded exasperated. ‘What sort of a house are you running, Dorothy? You appear to have surrounded yourself with a right motley crew, if you don’t mind my saying. Opening safes any time the fancy takes them and photographing girls young enough to be their daughters wearing next to nothing.’
‘It’s truly shocking,’ Dorothy nodded gravely. ‘We don’t stand on ceremony in my house, especially not where the twins are concerned. I was chatting to Dorian that particular evening, ergo James kindly retrieved the jewellery for Diane. When I got off the phone, I was delighted to see her looking so happy, to say nothing of beautiful. Despite all the money, things haven’t exactly been a bed of roses for the girl these past few years. She occasionally suffers from what might be described as moments of melancholy. And that was before her father conspired to have her murdered.’
Horace narrowed his eyes and it was clear to all that his mind was racing. ‘How do these bouts of melancholia manifest?’ he enquired, sounding as if he wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer.
‘Usually in a string of one-night stands,’ Clive replied with a certain brutality. ‘We have to keep a close watch on the chick when the madness is upon her. When she runs out of steam, she goes back to normal dating for a few months until the whole thing starts all over again. There have been a couple of occasions when your brother and I have had to deal with young men who seemed incapable of taking no for an answer. Some of them get quite excited at the prospect of becoming D-Ly’s son-in-law. It’s up to us to make them realise the pocket-sized princess hardly remembers their names the morning after.’
Horace bowed his head in sorrow. ‘She always was a precocious little minx,’ he said in an undertone. ‘How much of that behaviour is down to my deplorable treatment of her?’
‘Considering the girl was a virgin until she was nineteen, I’d say pretty much all of it,’ Clive answered harshly.
Seeing that Horace was genuinely upset and worried he might start crying again, Simone hastily intervened. ‘You can’t go back and change the past, but you have a chance to make up for it,’ she told him warmly as she rubbed his arm. ‘We need you to explain the truth to Di so she understands she didn’t make a total fool of herself. Talking to you might be just what she needs right now. Anything that snaps her out of the zombie-like state can only be a good thing.’
‘You surely don’t expect her to listen to anything I have to say,’ Horace looked flabbergasted. ‘You said yourself, she hates me. After everything she’s been through during this past week, how is the poor girl going to react when she sees me? She’ll be horrified.’
‘Maybe she will and maybe she won’t,’ Dorothy responded quietly. ‘I’m willing to take that chance. Anything is better than the coma she’s in at present. She doesn’t even seem capable of expressing anger, and from what I can gather, she hasn’t shed as much as one tear. This can’t go on. I need you to come home with me and talk to her.’
‘I’m sorry, Dorothy,’ Horace looked shamefaced. ‘I’m not prepared to do that. If I believed it would do the slightest bit of good, I promise you I would go with you in a heartbeat. However, I know Diane won’t hear me out, and the very sight of me might push her over the edge. I can’t go with you.’
There was a heavy silence and Simone looked at her friend out of the corner of her eye. Dorothy did not react and instead watched James.
‘What about me?’ James asked his brother in a dangerous voice. ‘Are you coming home with me?’
‘I’m sorry, Damerel,’ Horace said wretchedly. ‘I can’t go with you either. I don’t belong at Little Badger anymore. This is my home now and I don’t want to leave. I’m sure the family will understand if you explain it properly. Make sure to send them my best, and tell them you found me well.’
