| |
––––––––
JOSH AND DECO WATCHED the front door being pushed open, and waited to see if the latest visitor was anybody worth their while. Suspecting the new arrival might be Emily, come to participate in Hawaiian evening, Deco tried hard to keep his breathing steady. It was not Emily but Dylan who appeared. His bulk filled the entrance and, with a flick of his wrist, he closed the front door as if it weighed the same as a teabag. He saw the boys watching him and nodded warily.
‘The chief gave me the whole weekend off,’ he said by way of explanation. ‘I’m not used to having weekends to myself which means I’m at a loose end. Some of the guys are here tonight so I thought I might have a swim if the boss doesn’t mind.’
‘Jack and Harry are hanging out in the basement,’ Deco told him. ‘Marco’s hosting Hawaiian Night on the top floor, but it’s really only for gays and women, so you might feel a bit uncomfortable up there. Those fellas would like nothing better than to explore an extra-large bod like yours.’
Dylan took a step back and swallowed nervously. ‘I guess I’ll give the top floor a miss and see if the Dog wants a game of snooker or something,’ he replied somewhat lamely.
Josh and Deco snorted in derision and Josh said, ‘Where’s Jane this fine evening? Is she not enough entertainment for you?’
‘She’s working a wedding,’ Dylan replied quietly. ‘I think she’s going off me. She made a few mean comments about neediness this week which I’m pretty sure were directed at me. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. I’m sort of hoping the Dog might be able to advise me.’
Josh and Deco leaned against each other and guffawed heartily. A voice spoke behind them and brought the jollity to an abrupt halt. Keith said, ‘Dorian Ganley is a guest here this evening. I don’t think your mother will appreciate the pair of you braying like constipated donkeys in the hall while she’s trying to entertain him. Is there no place else you can be?’
‘Sorry, Chief,’ Deco grinned cheekily. ‘The Dog will only give us a very limited pass. He wants us to stay away from all our usual haunts and avoid the city centre like the plague. We’re at a bit of a loss to know where to go or what to do.’
‘Why don’t you try the new place that’s just opened near the Aviva Stadium?’ Dylan suggested. ‘You could stay at the Falcon apartment tonight. The security is tight there.’
Josh and Deco exchanged a look and then Deco addressed Dylan with, ‘You’d better come with us. We can’t be trusted alone.’
Yet again Dylan stepped back, this time in shock. ‘I can’t go drinking with you guys,’ he said.
‘Why not?’ Josh asked. ‘Do we stink? Afraid we’ll cramp your style?’
‘We’ll let you have first choice of the really big girls,’ Deco informed him kindly. ‘We prefer our women lean and mean, but something tells me you don’t object to a few pounds of extra meat on the bones.’
‘More cushion for the pushin’,’ Josh added helpfully. ‘Let’s go, man. I’ll drive. You can leave your car here.’
Dylan cast a frantic look in Keith’s direction although the managing director remained silent and appeared to be thinking of something else. The look in his eyes was bleak, as if his thoughts were not happy. Dylan knew Rosa was in the house, and a little voice told him she was the reason the chief looked like a man on the verge of tears.
Josh saw the direction of his eyes and intervened with, ‘Don’t make me pull rank, Young Bull. Prince Joshua is urgently in need of a protection officer this fine evening. Quit arguing the toss and get your giant hiney into my car.’
‘Your car’s way too small for me,’ Dylan protested. ‘What possessed you to choose a Mini when the boss would have bought you anything you wanted?’
‘Is that what you’re going to buy with the big reward she gave you for your heroics last week?’ Deco enquired slyly, and surreptitiously elbowed his friend in the ribs. ‘An enormous vehicle with plenty of shoulder room? Maybe a van?’
Dylan took the bait and flushed. ‘The boss told me that reward was strictly between me and her,’ he said defensively.
Josh and Deco chortled happily and high-fived each other. Deco said, ‘A tenner says we know exactly how much she gave him by midnight.’
‘You’re on,’ Josh replied. ‘He’s a stubborn bollocks. It might take a few hours longer.’
Keith awoke from whatever abstraction had taken hold of him and said, ‘I’m glad to see you’re wearing your kevlar, Dylan. I don’t suppose you thought to wear a tee under that shirt?’
‘I don’t own a kevlar tee, Chief,’ the young man looked surprised. ‘Only the Dog has a full bulletproof wardrobe.’
Keith grunted and unhooked the radio from his belt. He walked away and spoke a few words into it. He replaced the radio and walked even further away, as if he felt the urge to be alone.
‘Do you know anything about canoeing?’ Josh suddenly addressed Dylan.
‘I did plenty of it when I was younger,’ Dylan eyed Josh warily. ‘Are you considering taking it up?’
‘We certainly are,’ Deco replied cheerfully. ‘We’ll discuss it over a few drinks. I’m already looking forward to hearing some of your water sports stories. Did you ever get laid in one?’
Before Dylan could explain he had not been sexually active at the age of sixteen, Jack opened the basement door and erupted into the hall. ‘Which of you guys needs to borrow this?’ he brandished a black T-shirt at the group of assembled men.
‘The chief says Young Bull needs to be fully armoured if he’s to accompany us to Charlotte’s Quay for a few civilised drinks,’ Deco explained cheerily.
Jack transferred his gaze to Dylan, who waited for his reaction. ‘While we’re all still young and have our health, kid,’ he said impatiently. ‘Get out of that kit and into this armour. You’re no good to man nor beast if you’re laid up in the hospital with a bullet hole in your abdomen.’
Still looking uncharacteristically listless, Keith wandered back over. ‘What does it mean when a woman says she’s about to be vajazzled?’ he asked Deco.
Deco moved closer to his best friend but found little support there. Josh froze in place, determined not to be dragged into the conversation.
‘You must know what that is,’ Jack unexpectedly answered the question. ‘They stick all the little crystals and shit like that south of the border to make themselves look fancy.’
‘It gives the vajayjay a bit of sparkle,’ Dylan added. ‘It’s all the rage.’
‘Does it hurt?’ Keith was frowning. ‘Will it leave a scar?’
‘Chicks wouldn’t be so keen on it if it left a scar,’ Jack replied impatiently. ‘It’s no worse than slapping on that stuff they use on their face.’
‘Cosmetics,’ Dylan supplied the word in a bid to be helpful.
‘Yeah, that cosmetics shit,’ Jack agreed. ‘The tall chick I used to date got it done once. She said it didn’t hurt.’
‘Imogen O’Hara,’ Deco was moved to speak. ‘The model you used to date, who said you were emotionally unavailable.’
‘I can never remember her name,’ Jack shrugged. ‘I didn’t mind the smoking, but it was fierce fucking annoying the way she refused to eat.’
‘Such a bitch,’ Josh murmured.
‘So it’s harmless then,’ Keith was still puzzling over the issue. ‘The little homo won’t hurt her if he does it to her?’
‘No way, Chief,’ Dylan said reassuringly.
‘She’ll have a real pretty pussy by the time the queer’s finished with her,’ Jack added for good measure.
‘Why would a pussy need to be improved?’ Keith’s brow furrowed. ‘Why mess with perfection?’
‘Can we save the pussy related existential questions until later?’ Jack growled. ‘Kid, get into this tee before I totally lose patience.’
Dylan immediately unzipped his SBA jacket and removed it. Under it was a dark green shirt that was a snug fit against his substantial torso. Looking uncomfortable at the level of attention he was receiving, he slowly unbuttoned the garment and peeled it away. A wolf whistle sounded behind them and Simone ran up the men.
‘I think I just experienced a hetro moment,’ she grinned. ‘That’s one fit body you have there, big fella. There’s enough of you for two women to share.’ With that she was gone again, rushing to the nearest bathroom. Looking flustered, Dylan held out his hand for the kevlar shirt but was interrupted yet again before he had a chance to cover his modesty.
‘My goodness,’ Dorothy’s voice was full of admiration. ‘I never thought to see a body that would rival Jack’s. How did you get your arms so big?’
‘They’re naturally big, Boss,’ Dylan’s voice quivered as he absorbed her diminutive frame in the Stella McCartney dress. ‘I don’t have to do much to keep them this way. Just a few hundred push-ups every day and chin-ups when I have time. I only run five miles a day, mainly to get a bit of fresh air.’
‘Is that all? Only five miles a day and a few push-ups?’ Her eyes roved across his body, making him feel unnaturally warm. ‘I see you’ve been working your obliques,’ she purred. ‘That v-shaped yoke is coming along nicely.’
‘I appreciate you noticing that, Boss,’ the young man gulped.
‘Have you ever had a woman walk up and down your body wearing high heels?’ Dorothy sounded deeply curious.
Dylan swallowed hard and manfully stood his ground. ‘Not yet, Boss,’ he croaked.
‘Well, if you ever decide to experiment, make sure you video the big event,’ her eyes twinkled at him. ‘I’d love to see it. I shouldn’t be standing here chatting when DG’s waiting for a brandy. Are you boys okay?’
‘Grand, Ma,’ Josh smiled at her fondly. ‘We’re heading out for a drink. Dylan’s coming with us to keep an eye. Make sure we don’t get mugged or any of that shite.’
‘We’ve promised him first crack of the whip with the bigger girls,’ Deco added helpfully.
‘That’s wonderful,’ Dorothy beamed at Dylan. ‘I know it’s a challenge, but do your best to keep them out of trouble.’
Simone came out of the bathroom and, with a casual wave, the women headed for the kitchen, loudly discussing the size and strength of Dylan’s body as they walked. Jack made eye contact with Keith and said, ‘Now might be a good opportunity to grab five minutes with DG. We should invite him down to the basement and get Roy on the horn. The women might be glad of the break.’
Keith mulled this proposition over for a full minute then nodded once. He pointed at Dylan, Josh and Deco. ‘Get dressed and beat it,’ he ordered. ‘The big boys have work to do.’ Then he turned on his heel and headed for the dining room.
Dylan used the distraction of his chief’s departure to pull the tee over his head, followed by the shirt. He only had one arm through the sleeve of his jacket when he opened the door. ‘I’ll drive,’ he told Josh and Deco. ‘Let’s hit the road, pronto. And you guys needn’t think I’m taking any of your crap either.’
‘We thought you loved us,’ Deco grinned, as he followed the larger man. Josh saw Jack was frantically texting. Rather than interrupt, he silently followed the other two and pulled the door closed behind him. Keith emerged from the dining room with Dorian Ganley in tow.
‘Good evening, Jack,’ Dorian greeted him amiably. ‘Keith says you lads have news for me.’
‘It’s best to show you what we found in private,’ Jack nodded. ‘It won’t take long, and the women won’t miss you for five minutes. Let’s head to the basement.’
‘After you, Commander,’ Dorian looked amused. ‘Am I to assume the news is good?’
‘That very much depends on your overall attitude to the human race,’ Jack replied darkly and opened the door. He ran down the stairs and, after first glancing around to see if Dorothy was in view, Dorian followed suit, with Keith bringing up the rear.
