I
f there is one man in London who knows more about the strip clubs of Europe than anyone else, it is the writer Ernst Graf (or The Marquis de Shard, as he is known on Twitter, where you should follow him: @ernstgraf).
Graf has written thirteen memoirs about the red light scenes of London’s Soho, Berlin, Vienna, Brussels, Munich and Nuremberg, several of which are available on Amazon
As a man who has spent a great deal of his life in strip clubs, his perspective on them, and on the changes that have taken place in them over the years, is enlightening.
The interview has been lightly edited for clarity and print.
Troy Francis: You have been intoxicated by strip clubs for a long time. When did you first discover them?
Enrst Graf: 8th or 9th September 1992, a windy grey day in Dean Street, paid my £5 or whatever to Fred Bass on the Sunset Strip counter and down the steepling stairs into the Sunset Strip basement. Curtain squeaked open and on came some English girl dancing to Tallulah. “I take what you give me and I won’t ask why.”
The first naked woman I had ever seen. I may have started to cry, I am not sure. I have always been an emotional person. I had an unrequited love for some girl at the time and I desperately needed something to take my mind off of her and it did the trick nicely. Thus my career in infamy began.
TF: How has the strip club scene changed in London and Europe since you have been visiting it?
EG: In those days in London there was no private dancing, it was all stage show which I greatly prefer. A proper 3-6 minute artistic performance of beauty and sexiness. Now it is just that endless hustle “you wanna private dance, you wanna private dance?” No, fuck the fuck off, and kindly do not ask me again (I am actually more polite than that, as I am an English gentleman).
Private dancing was for me the death knell of striptease. If I opened a strip club there would be no private dancing, stage show only. And big girls! And no silicon! Natural bosoms only!
In Europe, and Europe for me means Brussels, Munich, Vienna and Berlin, it is incredible that strip clubs are topless only and the knickers never come off. When you think how repressed we are in England it is amazing fully nude striptease is still de rigueur here. We are lucky in that respect.
Also, in those days London strippers were almost always British, and the stage shows had a real element of burlesque about them, fans, feathers, boas. The swamping of the strip clubs by Brazilians and Romanians put an end to all that.
TF: Have you ever dated a stripper or had a personal relationship with one?
EG: Yes, several, and I still have the scars to prove it. I understand some men take stripper girlfriends/wives and then want them to stop their dancing; it never bothered me. When they are up on a stage I think they look so beautiful, I loved what they did and was always proud of them. I think there is NOTHING more glamorous and sexy for a woman to be than a dancer, a “sex dancer”.
TF: Do you think stripping attracts a certain type of girl. If so, how would you characterize her?
EG: No, I don’t think so. Just anyone trying to make a living. You get every personality type among strippers, same as among nurses, accountants, anything else I would presume.
TF: Who do you think strippers generally date - customers, or people who work in the clubs, or others?
EG: Barmen, bouncers, probably a lot of that. It must take a bit of trust otherwise they fear the boyfriend will “expose” them. Rich, older customers who can help support them. Sugar daddies.
TF: Have you seen many stripper-customer romances in your time?
EG: Not sure I have. Probably because they are usually not supposed to get involved with customers, and boyfriends are usually not allowed in if they do. Sure it happens, but they keep it discreet out of necessity.
Me being a naturally quiet, secretive, person who never talks to anyone anyway, perhaps put them at their ease. I am not the type to crow about my many conquests, Troy, you know that.
TF: Do you have any key ‘stripper game’ advice for readers?
EG: The idea of me offering any man advice on getting girls is rather laughable. Just be polite, respectful, I suppose, same as with anyone else. Let them know very clearly they turn you on, if they cannot see that already, but in a polite way. I think any girl is always flattered by a massive erection, so that is a great ice breaker.
TF: You always describe strip clubs in a very romantic way. Do you still feel that same romance today?
EG: No, because of private dancing and the need for girls to hustle to get private dances to pay their house fee to survive. If you are not going to have a private dance they will usually not want to waste time to talk to you, they simply cannot afford to. Men are walking cash machines in strip clubs these days; nothing at all romantic about that. The romance has gone. In the old days you would sit there in the dark puffing on your pipe, reading your Times newspaper or Evening Standard if you could see it, curtain would squeak open, anonymous girl would dance, you’d have a pleasurable fumble in your trousers, curtain squeak shut and so on and so forth. That was sexier. No one constantly trying to hustle more and more money out of you.
TF: Are there any strip clubs that are no longer open that you miss?
EG: As you very well know! The Flying Scotsman in King’s Cross was the greatest strip pub, because right up until the end (three years ago?) they still had no private dancing. Therefore, the girls were happy to sit at bar with you chatting, as there was no reason not to. Nothing else for them to do between stage dances. Lovely warm relaxed atmosphere. Top 10 sexiest dancers I ever saw were all at the Scotsman. A rich broth. Some naughtiness was always possible there.
I did actually make love with one of the strippers at the bar. There was a massive fight going on the other side so no one was paying attention. The strippers were always grabbing my crotch, one time one got down and bit my bottom. Wonderful place. We will never see its like again.
TF: What is your favorite strip club now? Where would you recommend readers go?
EG: Almost all gone, isn’t it? The Axe in Hackney Road or the Woolpack in Hayes perhaps. Sunset for nostalgia’s sake. There is a great little club in Nuremberg actually, La Bella Napoli. Appreciate that is a bit off the beaten track though.
TF: Would you describe yourself as the poet laureate of the strip clubs?
EG: No, that is too much. The Samuel Pepys of strip clubs perhaps. That would do.