To consider taking a taxi in London you either need (a) a trust fund, or (b) to be drunk. If you are both, congratulations: prepare to be taken for a ride in more ways than one.
Dating back to the mid-17th Century (kind of), London’s ‘black cabs’, or ‘Hackneys’, are the world’s oldest taxi service and are as representative of London as Routemasters, Big Ben and robbery. They are the most visible, the most iconic and probably the most expensive taxi service in London. While this flag-down option is great (they are the only company licensed to pick up on the street) budgeting for a black cab is tricky. Their prices are designed to confuse passengers into parting with huge wads for what often feels like a round-the-block trip. A whole range of metaphysical problems contribute to that huge sum waiting to be paid at journey’s end; all fares start at £2.40 and are based on three types of tariffs—higher tariffs apply on evenings, weekends and late nights. Fares are also affected by traffic. In general, as a very broad guideline, expect to pay around £9 for up to one mile, £14 for up to two miles, and £22 for up to four miles. Fares between Heathrow and Central London are anywhere between £45–£85. A £4 surcharge applies during the days around Christmas and New Year. There’s also a ‘puke charge’ of £40 if you soil the cab and the driver has to take it out of service to clean it; keep it in!
Black cabs are operated by many different companies who are all regulated and licensed by the Public Carriage Office (PCO). Generally speaking, the service you receive doesn’t vary much from company to company, though some boast little add-ons to capture your fare. Big, well organized companies like Dial-A-Cab (www.dialacab.co.uk; 020 7253 5000) and Radio Taxis (www.radiotaxis.co.uk; 020 7272 0272) offer online booking, carbon neutral trips, and friendly service. All black cab drivers must pass ‘The Knowledge’ test to get their license, so every driver will have a labyrinthine understanding of London and most will not be shy in sharing this with you.
Though a cheaper option, going private can be a minefield. Since 2001 all taxi services in London are required by law to be licensed by the PCO: this includes the city’s thousands of private-hire minicabs. Private hire companies are everywhere you look and often take the form of nicotine-stained, shoddily built little offices with lots of bored men milling about. Every neighbourhood has plenty of local services and it’s really trial and error to find one that doesn’t rip you off or drive barely roadworthy chariots of rust. The drivers of these little companies can be pretty eccentric—you can be regaled by tales of times past, given essential life advice or simply receive the disdainful silent treatment. The ‘private taxi sector’ does do upmarket, however. By far the most efficient and elegant service is that offered by Addison Lee, (www.addisonlee.com; 020 7407 9000) who text you twice, have huge gleaming six-seaters, and perfectly-manicured drivers. Fares are pretty cheap over longer distances but the minimum is around £10. Transport for London (tfl.gov.uk) has a useful online tool for locating licensed black cabs and minicabs, as well as an app (Cabwise). Another option is Uber (www.uber.com/cities/london), with its handy app and account-based system.
A word of warning: London is awash with rogue taxi-drivers who are not licensed and who will attempt to pick you up from outside a club or theatre. These guys will either charge you more than you agreed upon, not know where they are going, or they will be driving beat-up death-traps. If a ride hasn’t been booked with a licensed minicab company, then there is no record of your journey, meaning also that if there is a problem, your driver cannot be traced. There are also many stories of attacks on women, so if in doubt, don’t get in!