In the two months before the summer eclipse Charlie and Alan drove up to the three large fields on the west side of the farm. They were cleared and ready with an extra standing tap which had been linked to the mains from the old piggery. Charlie had had another one put in the lane, beside one of the farm cottages. The mobile toilets had been ordered as well as litter-bins for all four corners of the fields.
Alan disapproved. ‘You’re taking a risk, Charlie. You’ve seen the papers, there are too many locals prepared to rip visitors off. I really believe a lot of people will stay away. Some of the prices being asked for cottages and camping spaces are abhorrent. Word has got out that Cornwall is in for a killing and if people don’t come in the numbers expected, if you’ve misjudged the cost of hiring all this, it’s going to leave you with a red face.’
‘Of course they’ll come, Alan, it’s a once in a lifetime experience. Every one of the cottages are booked, have been since Christmas.’
‘Yes, because Nell took the bookings and asked a perfectly reasonable price; above the norm, but not excessive.’
‘Don’t you understand, Alan? The farm is in an absolutely perfect position for the eclipse. People will come in their thousands and I want to be ready and organized, not to have to chase people from my land.’
‘Charlie, I warn you, you are putting the land at risk. Very few people can afford to pay what you’re asking, especially the kids. Last-minute travellers will pitch anywhere, whether you like it or not. You are advertising your fields widely. This land will already have been spread all over the Internet as available. Charge a reasonable price and you will at least fill one or two fields with people who you won’t have a problem with …’
‘Alan, how often does a chance like this come along? I could clear the remainder of my overdraft … We’ve had a pretty good financial year, this is the icing.’
Alan stared at him. ‘You’re the boss, Charlie, but I disapprove of what you are doing.’
‘You’re my accountant as well as my farm manager. What problem can you have with me hiring out my fields to those who want to see something they will never experience again in their lifetime?’
‘You could say it was their right to see a natural phenomenon without getting ripped-off. You know the problems, Charlie, as well as I do. You are going to have horrendous litter and noise and drugs, and that equals trouble. Hawkers will descend with vans, selling environmentally hazardous food, and worst of all, what about the travellers who will not leave at the end of the weekend …’
God, what an old woman he is, Charlie thought.
Charlie had had numerous rows with Nell over this. In fact she was as angry as he’d seen her for some time. She had called him greedy and irresponsible and now Alan was going all tight-lipped on him.
They got into the Land Rover and headed back to the farm in silence. Nell came out of the back door and called, ‘Charlie, Josh has been on the phone, he wants you to ring him back.’
‘What did he say? Is he in trouble?’
‘No, he’s being posted. Ring his mobile, Charlie.’
Charlie was concerned. Josh never rang him during the day. He dialled Josh’s number as he walked across the yard.
‘Hi, Charlie.’
‘Hello, son, what’s up?’
‘Just to tell you I’ve suddenly been posted. Gabby isn’t going to like it, so I thought I’d better tell you first.’
‘Where?’
‘Well, you know I told you I was with Joint Helicopter Command? It’s an attack and observer squadron. We are just off to the Gulf. It’s more or less a training exercise really. We’ll be based on an aircraft carrier monitoring the no-fly zones.’
‘A bit dodgy out there, isn’t it?’
‘It’s safe enough, Charlie. I’m not flying jets!’
‘Do you have time to come home before you leave?’
‘I doubt I’ll have time, there’s a lot to do. I’m replacing someone who suddenly got ill, so they jumped me into his place.’
‘When do you leave?’
‘Saturday morning. Four days’ time.’
‘How do you feel about being “jumped”, Josh?’
‘I’m excited, Charlie, it’s great to be picked. It’s what I joined up for. I don’t want to sit around on my arse!’
Charlie felt uneasy. ‘Isn’t it a bit early to send you on that sort of mission?’
‘If they didn’t think I could do the job, they wouldn’t be sending me.’
‘True.’
‘Gabby’s still in London, isn’t she?’
‘Yes. She’s due home on Friday, why?’
‘Well, I thought if I couldn’t get home I might get up to London to see her before I leave.’
‘Nell will know exactly where she’s working this week, I don’t, but you’ve got her mobile, haven’t you?’
‘Yep. Charlie, I have to go. I’ll ring again, soon. OK?’
‘OK, son.’
He looked at Nell’s face and saw Josh had already told her.
‘Nell, it is no good you and Gabby getting all female and jumpy every time Josh is posted to a trouble spot.’
‘Have I said a word?’
‘Actually, I have every faith in my grandson to take care of himself. After all, he’s not going to war.’
Charlie didn’t answer. He was sure Josh would be all right, but those damn helicopters occasionally had a habit of falling from the sky.
The following day Josh drove to London with another pilot who was also bound for the Gulf and wanted to say goodbye to his parents. They parked in Chelsea Barracks, and when Josh had finished finding some equipment he needed he set off to meet Gabby, who was working on a private commission in a little gallery near the Portland where Elan exhibited.
He found her alone and she showed him into a back room where she was cleaning an early oil of a young girl on a horse. Josh peered at it.
‘I’m always amazed that women managed to stay on, riding side-saddle. I can’t see how they didn’t fly over the horse’s head.’
‘Someone once told me that they had a pummel to hold on to which made up for not being able to grip the horse, but I’m not convinced either. Imagine hunting, side-saddle!’
‘Great painting. He could certainly paint horses, makes me long to ride again. Have you just uncovered all that detail, Gabby, with the reins and the girl’s fingers?’
‘Yes. It’s fascinating, I don’t think this painting has ever been cleaned and I’m uncovering little treasures everywhere. It’s a lovely painting to work on. Anyway, let’s go for lunch. I’ve just got to lock up as Arabella’s also at lunch.’
Josh looked around the small trendy gallery with the latest mod lighting and mooched round studying the paintings on the walls while Gabby got her jacket and fixed the alarm.
Josh grinned. ‘You’re getting to know an awful lot of girls called Lucinda or Arabella …’
‘Mmm, and Catriona and Minty.’
They walked along the street and Gabby hugged Josh’s arm.
‘This is so nice, me taking you out to lunch.’
Josh looked down at her. Gabby looked very pretty in linen trousers and a light jacket. Different, somehow. ‘You’re getting really established up here, aren’t you?’
‘I am getting quite a lot of work, thanks to Lucinda who refers people to me. But, you know, restoring comes in fits and starts so I’m not complacent … I thought we’d eat here in this little Italian place, it’s the only one I’ve tried and it’s pretty good, I think.’
When they were sitting down, Josh said, ‘It’s quite weird having lunch with you in London. I always picture you at home, even though I know you work up here quite a lot.’ He looked at her closely. ‘I’d never have thought you could live in a city away from the sea, Gabby. When I was small it was a major deal getting you to Truro!’
Gabby laughed. ‘I surprise myself sometimes, but I’ve made good friends and work contacts here and I enjoy London, mostly, and …’
‘… You know you can always go back home to Charlie and the sea.’
Oh Josh. ‘Yes,’ Gabby said. ‘Now concentrate for a moment, darling, what are you going to have? Choose anything.’
They both stared at their menus. We are skirting the Gulf. I don’t want him to go. I want to pretend we are just having lunch because he happens to be in London.
Their drinks arrived and they ordered their meal. Josh noticed Gabby had white wine. Gabby drinks now, he thought fondly.
Josh sipped his cold beer and said, ‘I’m out there for such a short time, Gabby. No more than a training exercise really. Pilots have to gain experience in the climate they might have to work in. When I’ve gone you mustn’t go reading the papers and believing everything you read if there is a lurid article on Iraq. Servicemen are in and out of the Gulf all the time …’ He watched her. ‘I’ll probably spend a lot of time sitting around with the Navy guys getting drunk.’
‘No change there, then?’ Gabby said lightly, smiling. ‘Josh, don’t look so worried. This shooting off to places I’d rather you didn’t go is something I’m going to have to get used to, isn’t it?’
Josh laughed. ‘That’s what Marika said.’
‘Will you have time to see her before you go?’
‘We’re going to drop in to see her on the way back. She’s home at the moment. Gabby, I’ve written names of the various officers to contact in case of any emergency. I might have occasional access to a computer and I will e-mail you, but you might not be able to e-mail me back.’
‘You’ll have cabins, will you? Are there barracks or a mess or anything in Kuwait?’
‘I’m not sure what the form is yet. I haven’t really been briefed properly. I won’t be swinging in a hammock from the masts, Gab!’
Gabby felt suddenly anxious. ‘Those photos of helicopters you e-mailed me, they seem so huge and complicated. You haven’t been flying for five minutes. Why can’t they send someone more experienced?’
‘Gabby, how would I gain experience if I didn’t fly? This is part of my training. Stop worrying, these new helicopters are amazing machines.’
Their food came and Josh said, ‘Wow, I’m going to enjoy this! Not sure what the food will be like out there …’
‘Josh,’ Gabby said abruptly, ‘what about jabs, what about malaria tablets?’
‘It’s OK, we all had to have the injections as a regiment, in case we got suddenly posted, and I started my malaria tablets as soon as I knew I was going out there.’
‘We could rush and get you stuff you’ll need from Boots. We could do it after lunch … Josh, you should take soap and sun stuff and Imodium and mosquito repellent, talc, you know, and foot things …’
‘Gabby, stop! Eat. You haven’t touched your food. If there’s time, thanks. But don’t worry, Marika is also getting stuff for me, it’s giving her something to do …’
‘Please take care, Josh, please.’
‘Of course I will. You know me!’
As they walked back towards the gallery, Josh said, ‘Gabby, would you mind if I shot off now? It’s just Marika … I won’t have much time with her.’ He hugged her. ‘I promise I’ll take a crate full of medicine out with me … half of Boots!’
Gabby held Josh tight. ‘Love you lots …’
‘Love you, too. Thanks for lunch. It was great seeing where you work. I can sort of imagine it now while I’m away …’
‘I’m going home on Friday. Will you be able to ring before you fly out?’
‘Of course! I’ve had my orders from Nell. I’ll talk to you all on Friday, Gab. Take care.’
‘’Bye, darling.’
Josh turned and started to walk away, and as he did so Gabby was seized by a terrible, irrational fear. She started to run after him, stifled, ‘Josh, wait!’
She stood watching his figure until it disappeared into the crowd, her heart beating absurdly in the crowd of a city afternoon. She went back to the gallery which Arabella had opened and told her she was going to finish for the day.
On the way to the tube she started to ring Mark and then remembered he was giving a lecture. She thought of Nell, hesitated, but did not ring her. She made her way to the National Portrait Gallery and Lucinda gave her coffee and made her laugh.
That night Gabby said to Mark, ‘It’s so illogical and childishly superstitious, this need to be in Cornwall when Josh leaves, as if Josh is going to be any safer whether I am here or at home …’
‘Go home, my sweet. Superstition does not come into it. It’s perfectly understandable.’
Mark turned to Gabby. Mahler was playing, beautiful but achingly sad. A mistake, he thought, and got up to turn it down.
‘No,’ Gabby said, ‘leave it, I love it. It is my favourite piece.’
‘But sad, my darling, very, very sad.’
In bed, in the dark, they made love to the echo of the music and afterwards Mark said, ‘We don’t talk about the future, Gabriella. Are we afraid of it?’
‘Yes.’ Gabby held Mark’s face to hers in the dark. ‘It’s frightening. I love you so much I dare not talk … in case you’ve changed your mind … in case it spoils this life we’re living …’
Mark laughed quietly. ‘Change my mind. Oh my darling Gabriella, that is not going to happen. But it is easier for me, my ties are across an ocean, yours are five hours away …’
‘But they are there, Mark, in exactly the same way.’
‘Yes. It’s just gathering the courage to hurt …’
Mark sat up and pulled a pillow behind his head. He felt his age suddenly. Old and wise and … resigned? He was not sure whether resigned was the word, but he was aware that he could lose Gabriella any moment. There was a pull for her of a life unfinished. His children were older and leading their own lives, totally independent of him.
That was not quite true. It was what he thought when he imagined himself leaving Veronique permanently for this life he had with Gabriella. He had known since Christmas that he wanted to share his life with this woman, but if she went back to her own life he would not go back to his.
‘Have you … changed …? Do you feel different, Mark?’
Mark smiled in the dark. ‘Oh, no, Mrs Ellis, I haven’t changed. I am just as irresponsibly besotted as I was that first time in your funny little museum.’
‘You stared horribly and embarrassingly.’
‘I couldn’t help it.’
‘Of course you could!’
‘I could not. I was expecting a very earnest, rather large Cornish lady in socks and sandals with fierce iron-grey hair pulled up into a bun, or with an ethnically long plait down her back …’
Gabby giggled. ‘Why? Is that what Canadian restorers are like?’
‘I’ve only met fierce ones who gave me nightmares.’
‘You do talk a lot of codswallop, as Nell would say.’
She kissed his wrists, which she found incredibly sensuous.
‘But you are very good at diversion tactics … I will go back, tomorrow. It’s not just Josh; Nell and Charlie have had another huge row about the eclipse and she sounds very depressed. It’s unlike Nell.’
Gabby paused in the dark then said it.
‘I can’t live without you, Mark. I love the people in my other life, but I love you more. For the first time I feel I am living the life I want, not dictated by circumstances, but by me.’
Mark did not move in the dark. The life that I want. The life that is me. Rilke?
Then he said quietly, ‘To do what we intend to do takes an amount of selfishness and a certain fixed ruthlessness. It is not going to slide into place with anyone’s blessing, my darling.’
‘I know.’ Gabby wrapped her arms around him. ‘I know.’
Mark, sliding down into the bed, his mouth on her hair, thought, I don’t think you do, wonderful little person. I really don’t think you do.