13.

Tuesday, April 13, 2004

It was nine thirty in the evening. Paulo sat on the verandah leaning against the wall of the annex. His stomach growled but he ignored it. The night sky was clear and the stars had come out to play. The man in the moon still held up his axe—to chop firewood—the way he did when Paulo was a boy. Images and words and gestures from his childhood came and went as he searched for clues and hints about his incestuous birth. Ruth sat weeping under the palm tree near the steps to the road. Paulo had reverted to his childhood habit of calling her Ruth. Uncle Job stood over her, his hand on her shoulder. Now, even such an innocuous gesture seemed incestuous. Paulo felt the urge to go over and toss his uncle’s hand off his mother’s shoulder. His eyes met Uncle Job’s. Uncle Job stared back steadily. Paulo looked away in disgust.

Faisi was as unshaken as granite. Amidst the confusion, she was focused. It was as if she had known that one day Kanani would let her down but there was no anger. When Kanani’s body arrived from hospital at around midday, neighbors had streamed in to console her but her lack of grief threw them. Not knowing what to do with a cheerful widow, they sat for a polite while and then left. All inquiries about Kanani’s death—How could he die so quickly?—were met with a clipped, “One moment he was alive, the next he was dead.”

Soon after, the twins had arrived and Faisi sang louder to drown Ruth’s sobs. The twins did not go to her for soothing. Instead, they hugged each other. Paulo realized then that the thin thread that had tied mother and twins together had snapped. Faisi looked childless already. Yet he could not go to the twins and comfort them in their moment of pain. He walked out of the house and stayed in the annex on his own until his girlfriend and other friends came to keep him company.

The Awakened had turned out in large numbers. They were all the same age as his grandparents. They sang of seeing Him over the other side when He would wipe their tears away. From time to time, Faisi interrupted the singing with a testimony from her marriage. She called Kanani the “calm and cool breeze” that had soothed her life. She talked about his patience, of his unwavering love for her, and of his devotion to God.

By the time Paulo arrived home from the reunion at midday on Tuesday, Kanani was dead. Ruth had rung him several times in the morning before he plucked up the courage to talk to her. When he did, she told him that Kanani had been to see her late Monday evening to tell her what had happened at the reunion. On Tuesday morning, Kanani was found dead on the Cathedral’s grounds—heart failure. Perhaps what he did broke his heart. Paulo, who had by then run out of emotion, felt nothing for his grandfather’s broken heart. He told Ruth that he was OK with her but he did not want to see Uncle Job. To him, Ruth could not have been a willing partner. Even when Ruth told him that she was as much to blame as Job, Paulo would not listen.

“What can we do to ease your pain?” Ruth had cried down the phone.

“Nothing.”

“You have no idea how we love you, Paulo. It was wrong and we’re ashamed, but you’re here and you’re ours.”

“You’re right. I don’t understand you two.”

“Back then me and Job, we saw ourselves as one person,” Ruth tried to explain.

“Hmm? So you are saying that it was only masturbation?”

“What can I say to make sense?”

“Don’t make sense, Ruth.”

She hesitated at being called Ruth then carried on. “Not giving you away was the only kind thing they did to us. Now they’ve taken you.”

Paulo did not reply.

“Poor Job—now you hate him.”

“I am not part of your world where a mawemuko can escape himself.”

“He did not call you that!”

“Hmm.”

“He used to be the easy one. Now he’ll not even find the salvation he’s been slaving for.”

Thirty minutes later, a large group of clan people led by Bweeza arrived. They came to the annex where Paulo sat and fussed over him. That was the moment when Paulo broke down and cried and the elders took turns holding him. Afterwards, when Elder Kityo asked, Paulo led the group to where Ruth and Job sat. He said, “These are the twins.” There were hugs and “Welcome into the clan,” and Bweeza called them her own children. There was relief among the clan people that they had finally met Elder Kanani’s twins. Kitooke whispered, “We’ve come to be with you because you’re ours.” Even Job’s angry face cracked and he wept. Paulo wondered whether he was crying with shame. Faisi watched the group anxiously. When Job broke down, she stood up and went behind the house. She had not seen him cry since he was a child.

Paulo pointed out the Awakened to the clan so they could avoid them. Nonetheless, the elders went to Faisi and offered her their condolences. Faisi must have warned the Awakened about the presence of these relatives, for soon the vigil fell into three camps: Paulo, the twins, and the Kintu clan in one, Faisi and the Awakened army in another, and then the villagers who had no idea there were camps. Uncle Job seemed to have established a rapport with the elders Kityo and Kitooke while Ruth and Bweeza reminisced through the night about old Nakaseke. Paulo relaxed. He could even bear Uncle Job’s presence a little.

When the clan inquired whether Kanani would be “returned home” to Kiyiika, the Awakened pointed out that he had divorced all his worldly kin. He would be buried in the Cathedral’s cemetery. The Awakened brethren also said that they would meet all the funeral costs and make all the necessary arrangements.

Despite the long weekend they had spent at Kiyiika, the clan sat through the funeral service at Namirembe Cathedral on Wednesday. The Awakened gave Kanani such a dignified funeral that Uncle Job thanked them in a brief speech. After burial, the clan elders told the twins about the rituals in Kiyiika. They also told Job that he was now an elder and should attend the council meetings, which put a smile on Job’s face. The twins said they would let Bweeza know when they were ready to do the rituals.

Faisi did not come home after Kanani’s burial. The Awakened had booked her into Namirembe Guest House for a month. Paulo visited her twice but both times he found her in the company of the Awakened. They seemed to be taking good care of her. Paulo feared that her gulu-gulu kind of strength would collapse as soon as the Awakened support stopped. However, after her return and cheerful resumption of sowing, Paulo gave up. The main house remained in a darkened silence.