Oh boy! We are going to solve mysteries! We are going to be tough! We are going to uncover secrets! We are going to sneak and spy and follow the clues! We are going to nab the suspects, discover the answers, and know too much! We are going to have a blast! Why? Because we are private investigators, that’s why!
Now, everyone knows that private investigators wear hats. Or sunglasses. Or both at once. Partly, they do this to look tough and cool, but the real reason is to hide their eyes. They don’t want other people to know where they’re looking. If you’re spying on Sammy La Barba, you don’t want him to know it. So you pull your hat low or you put on sunglasses, and Sammy La Barba doesn’t have a clue.
But what if you don’t have a hat or a pair of sunglasses? Easy-peasy! Learn how to walk with a book in front of your face. You can spy over the top of it, and other people will think you’re reading! Also, grown-ups love to see kids reading, so they’ll be happy.
Here’s what to do: Get a not-too-heavy book and hold it up in front of your face. Keep the top edge of the book just below your eyes. Start walking, very slowly (or you’ll smack into something). Look over the top of the book most of the time (or you’ll smack into something), but every three steps, glance down at the book super-quick, so you’ll look like you’re reading. The more you practice, the easier it gets. So start practicing!
All private investigators have to learn how to snoop. Snooping is the same thing as noticing, especially noticing things that other people don’t want you to notice. To get good at snooping, you need to train yourself to look and remember. So here’s a fun game that gives you practice at looking and remembering.
Here’s what to do: Set out at least twenty little things on a tray or table. Nothing fancy, just stuff like nickels and raisins and combs. Also get out a towel and a clock and a piece of paper and a pencil. Look at the little things for 30 seconds (half a minute), and then cover them up with the towel. Now, write down as many as you can remember. Did you get them all? Wow, you’re practically a spy already.
You can add more things or you can shorten the time to 20 seconds if you want to make it harder. You can also take turns with another person if you like that kind of thing.
Did you know that everyone in the entire world has different fingerprints? It’s true. Private investigators often nab their suspects by dusting for fingerprints. What they really do is powder for fingerprints, but they call it dusting for some reason. It’s pretty fun, and you can do it, too.
Here’s what to do: For once in your life, you don’t need to wash your hands before you begin. It’s better if your hands are kind of dirty and sticky (not wet, though). Get some baby powder and a soft paintbrush. Then get something smooth and dark, like a dark plate or mug or plastic bottle, and press your thumb hard into it. Sprinkle a little powder over the place where you pressed your thumb and then brush the powder off with the soft brush.
Oh my gosh! Do you see the thumbprint? You’ve found your suspect!
Oh. Wait. It’s only you. But still, it was fun.
Here’s a secret: Grown-ups have pretty boring lives. They get up, go to work, eat dinner, and fall asleep, day after day. No wonder they think sleeping is fun. But you can help them by making their lives more interesting. You can make a mystery for your grown-up.
Here’s what to do: Your mystery can be super-easy or super-complicated or somewhere in the middle. You don’t want to scare your grown-up, you just want to make them wonder. For example, moving something in your house is an easy way to make a mystery. Take something that’s right out where everyone can see it (but not something that your grown-up is touchy about): a picture, a vase, a book, a coffee mug. Now, move it.
Turn it around or put it somewhere else. Grown-ups don’t pay a whole lot of attention to what’s going on, so you might have to be patient, but eventually, they’ll notice. And then, they’ll wonder.
You can make a more complicated mystery by putting odd things together. Like, for example, putting a fork in the mailbox. Or blowing up a balloon and putting it in your grown-up’s car. Or you can make a super-complicated mystery by leaving notes in odd places. For instance, you can write “Must see Fred about” on a piece of paper and leave it in the refrigerator. Then write “the can, and Mabel wants to know” on another piece of paper and put it under the soap. Then write “if the secret is” and drop it in the middle of the floor. It’ll drive them bonkers! What a laugh!
If you do all these fun things, you’ll practically be a private investigator, just like Bean, P. I., and her assistant, Ivy.
Congratulations—and don’t be a stooge!