‘This is what I travel for, Rose. To see history happening right in front of us.’
THE DOCTOR, ALIENS OF LONDON
‘But you can’t rewrite history! Not one line!’
THE DOCTOR, THE AZTECS
‘The events will happen, just as they are written. I’m afraid so and we can’t stem the tide. But at least we can stop being carried away with the flood!’
THE DOCTOR, THE REIGN OF TERROR
‘Crossing into established events is strictly forbidden. Except for cheap tricks.’
THE DOCTOR, SMITH AND JONES
THE DOCTOR: Are you quite mad? You know as well as I do the golden rule about space and time travelling. Never, never interfere with the course of history.
MONK: And who says so? Doctor, it’s more fun my way. I can make things happen ahead of their time.
THE TIME MEDDLER
‘Rose, there’s a man alive in the world who wasn’t alive before. An ordinary man. That’s the most important thing in creation. The whole world’s different because he’s alive.’
THE DOCTOR, FATHER’S DAY
‘Now listen to me, both of you. There are some rules that cannot be broken even with the TARDIS. Don’t ever ask me to do anything like that again. You must accept that Adric is dead. His life wasn’t wasted. He died trying to save others, just like his brother, Varsh. You know, Adric had a choice. This is the way he wanted it.’
THE DOCTOR, TIME-FLIGHT
‘My dear Steven, history sometimes gives us a terrible shock, and that is because we don’t quite fully understand. Why should we? After all, we’re all too small to realise its final pattern. Therefore don’t try and judge it from where you stand. I was right to do as I did. Yes, that I firmly believe.’
THE DOCTOR, THE MASSACRE
‘This moment, this precise moment in time, it’s like . . . I mean, it’s only a theory, what do I know, but I think certain moments in time are fixed. Tiny, precious moments. Everything else is in flux, anything can happen, but those certain moments, they have to stand. This base on Mars with you, Adelaide Brooke, this is one vital moment. What happens here must always happen.’
THE DOCTOR, THE WATERS OF MARS
AMY: But it could help us find Rory.
THE DOCTOR: And if you read ahead and find that Rory dies? This isn’t any old future, Amy, it’s ours. Once we know what’s coming, it’s fixed. I’m going to break something, because you told me that I’m going to do it. No choice now.
AMY: Time can be rewritten.
THE DOCTOR: Not once you’ve read it. Once we know what’s coming, it’s written in stone.
THE ANGELS TAKE MANHATTAN
‘You may know where you are, my dears, but not when. Oh, I can foresee oodles of trouble.’
THE DOCTOR, THE SMUGGLERS
THE DOCTOR: Three o’clock, June the 11th, 1925.
TEGAN: I haven’t been born yet.
THE DOCTOR: It’s interesting, isn’t it? And no jet lag.
BLACK ORCHID
‘Time isn’t a straight line. It’s all bumpy-wumpy. There’s loads of boring stuff like Sundays and Tuesdays and Thursday afternoons. But now and then there are Saturdays. Big temporal tipping points when anything’s possible. The TARDIS can’t resist them, like a moth to a flame. She loves a party, so I give her 1969 and NASA, because that’s space in the Sixties, and Canton Everett Delaware III, and this is where she’s pointing.’
THE DOCTOR, THE IMPOSSIBLE ASTRONAUT
ROSE: It’s so weird. The day my father died. I thought it’d be all sort of grim and stormy. It’s just an ordinary day.
THE DOCTOR: The past is another country. 1987’s just the Isle of Wight.
FATHER’S DAY
‘The point of archaeology is to carefully recover the past, not disintegrate it.’
THE DOCTOR, BATTLEFIELD
MARTHA: I’m not going to get carted off as a slave, am I?
THE DOCTOR: Why would they do that?
MARTHA: Not exactly white, in case you haven’t noticed.
THE DOCTOR: I’m not even human. Just walk about like you own the place. Works for me.
THE SHAKESPEARE CODE
BILLY: Where am I?
THE DOCTOR: 1969. Not bad, as it goes. You’ve got the moon landing to look forward to.
MARTHA: Oh, the moon landing’s brilliant. We went four times.
BLINK
‘Roll back time, I see. Can Whitaker really do that? . . . Do you realise what’ll happen if they succeed? . . . There never was a golden age, Mike. It’s all an illusion.’
THE DOCTOR, INVASION OF THE DINOSAURS
‘Don’t mess with Egyptian queens.’
THE DOCTOR, DINOSAURS ON A SPACESHIP
‘Definitely Jurassic. There’s a nip in the air, though. We can’t be far off the Pleistocene era . . . It’s times like this I wish I still had my scarf. Better watch out for the odd brontosaurus.’
THE DOCTOR, TIME-FLIGHT
LYNDA: A hundred years ago? What, you were here a hundred years ago?
THE DOCTOR: Yep!
LYNDA: You’re looking good on it.
THE DOCTOR: I moisturise.
BAD WOLF
THE DOCTOR: I’m a time traveller. Or I was. I’m stuck in 1969.
MARTHA: We’re stuck. All of space and time, he promised me. Now I’ve got a job in a shop. I’ve got to support him!
BLINK
SCARLIONI: Doctor, how very nice to see you again. It seems like only 474 years since we last met.
THE DOCTOR: Indeed, indeed, yes. I so much prefer the weather in the early part of the sixteenth century, don’t you?
CITY OF DEATH
YOUNG REINETTE: Monsieur, what are you doing in my fireplace?
THE DOCTOR: Oh, it’s just a routine fire check. Can you tell me what year it is?
YOUNG REINETTE: Of course I can. Seventeen hundred and twenty-seven.
THE DOCTOR: Right, lovely. One of my favourites. August is rubbish though. Stay indoors. OK, that’s all for now. Thanks for your help. Hope you enjoy the rest of the fire. Night, night.
THE GIRL IN THE FIREPLACE
THE DOCTOR: Oh, smell that air. Grass and lemonade. And a little bit of mint. A hint of mint. Must be the 1920s.
DONNA: You can tell what year it is just by smelling?
THE DOCTOR: Oh, yeah.
DONNA: Or maybe that big vintage car coming up the drive gave it away.
THE UNICORN AND THE WASP
‘Oh, the Lake District’s lovely. Let’s definitely go there. We can eat scones. They do great scones in 1927.’
THE DOCTOR, THE RINGS OF AKHATEN
‘1979. Hell of a year. China invades Vietnam. The Muppet Movie. Love that film. Margaret Thatcher. Urgh. Skylab falls to Earth, with a little help from me. Nearly took off my thumb.’
THE DOCTOR, TOOTH AND CLAW
THE DOCTOR: A chemical reaction in a primeval swamp can create life on a planet. Why couldn’t the universe be created by a similar chance factor, hmm?
KARI: But exploding fuel in space? It’s almost too simple.
THE DOCTOR: It only appears simple because the circumstances were exactly right.
TERMINUS
JAMIE: Ach, here’s you saying you’re a doctor, you’ve not even bled him yet.
BEN: What’s he on about?
THE DOCTOR: Bloodletting.
BEN: Yeah, but that’s stupid.
JAMIE: It’s the only way of curing the sick.
BEN: Killing him, more like.
THE HIGHLANDERS
TEGAN: 1851. The Great Exhibition?
THE DOCTOR: All the wonders of Victorian science and technology.
TEGAN: Well, the TARDIS should feel at home.
TIME-FLIGHT
THE DOCTOR: A monastery. Thirteenth century.
AMY: Oh, we’ve gone all medieval.
RORY: I’m not sure about that.
AMY: Really? Medieval expert are you?
RORY: No, it’s just that I can hear Dusty Springfield.
THE REBEL FLESH
THE DOCTOR: I had this friend, once. She called me spaceman.
CHRISTINA: And was she right? Do you zoom about the place in a rocket?
THE DOCTOR: Well, a little blue box. Travels in more than space. It can journey through time, Christina. Oh, the places I’ve been. World War One. Creation of the universe. End of the universe. The war between China and Japan. And the Court of King Athelstan in 924 AD.
PLANET OF THE DEAD
THE DOCTOR: The Blitz.
LAZARUS: You’ve read about it.
THE DOCTOR: I was there.
LAZARUS: You’re too young.
THE DOCTOR: So are you.
THE LAZARUS EXPERIMENT
CRAIG: Oh, that was incredible. That was absolutely brilliant. Where did you learn to cook?
THE DOCTOR: Paris, in the eighteenth century. No, hang on, that’s not recent, is it? Seventeenth? No, no, no. Twentieth. Sorry, I’m not used to doing them in the right order.
THE LODGER
THE DOCTOR: What Paris has, it has an ethos, a life. It has . . .
ROMANA: A bouquet?
THE DOCTOR: A spirit all of its own. Like a wine, it has . . .
ROMANA: A bouquet.
THE DOCTOR: It has a bouquet. Yes. Like a good wine. You have to choose one of the vintage years, of course.
ROMANA: What year is this?
THE DOCTOR: Ah well, yes. It’s 1979 actually. More of a table wine, shall we say.
CITY OF DEATH
LEELA: In a house this size there must be protection. The professor will have weapons in fixed positions to guard the approaches.
THE DOCTOR: I brought you to the wrong time, my girl. You’d have loved Agincourt.
THE TALONS OF WENG-CHIANG
‘Look, sorry, I’ve got a bit of a complex life. Things don’t always happen to me in quite the right order. Gets a bit confusing at times, especially at weddings. I’m rubbish at weddings, especially my own.’
THE DOCTOR, BLINK
MICKEY: What’s a horse doing on a spaceship?
THE DOCTOR: Mickey, what’s pre-Revolutionary France doing on a spaceship? Get a little perspective.
THE GIRL IN THE FIREPLACE
ROMANA: Well, there’s one called Zolfa-Thura. That’s in the history books.
THE DOCTOR: Well, they’re all in somebody’s history books.
MEGLOS
GRACE: You know, Freud had a name for that.
THE MASTER: Transference.
THE DOCTOR: Yes, very witty, Grace. At least Freud would have taken me seriously.
GRACE: He’d have hung up his pipe if he’d met you.
THE DOCTOR: Actually, we did meet.
GRACE: Oh, that’s right. He’s a Time Lord.
THE DOCTOR: We got on very well.
DOCTOR WHO (TV MOVIE)
‘Look after this. I love that coat. Janis Joplin gave me that coat.’
THE DOCTOR, GRIDLOCK
THE DOCTOR: You know, I haven’t seen a coronation since Elizabeth I’s. Or was it Queen Victoria?
JO: Name dropper.
THE CURSE OF PELADON
THE DOCTOR: If Horatio Nelson had been in charge of this operation, I hardly think that he would have waited for official instructions.
CAPTAIN HART: Yes . . . a pretty impulsive fellow. If one can believe the history books.
THE DOCTOR: History books? Captain Hart, Horatio Nelson was a personal friend of mine.
THE SEA DEVILS
‘I was on board another ship once. They said that was unsinkable. I ended up clinging to an iceberg. It wasn’t half cold.’
THE DOCTOR, THE END OF THE WORLD
MORGAN: Something you want, sir?
THE DOCTOR: Yes. A telephone that works. Yours is out of order.
MORGAN: Likely it is.
THE DOCTOR: So is the village call box.
MORGAN: There was a gale last night, sir. Brought all the lines down.
THE DOCTOR: Ah. I always told Alexander Bell that wires were unreliable.
THE ANDROID INVASION
THE DOCTOR: The sun’s gone wibbly, so right now, somewhere out there, there’s going to be a big old video conference call. All the experts in the world panicking at once, and do you know what they need? Me. Ah, and here they all are. All the big boys. NASA, Jodrell Bank, Tokyo Space Centre, Patrick Moore.
MRS ANGELO: I like Patrick Moore.
THE DOCTOR: I’ll get you his number. But watch him, he’s a devil.
THE ELEVENTH HOUR
‘All I care about is getting back to the TARDIS, where it’s nice and warm. No wonder they forced him to sign Magna Carta. Bet there was something in it about underheated housing.’
TEGAN, THE KING’S DEMONS
‘Agatha Christie. I was just talking about you the other day. I said, I bet she’s brilliant. I’m the Doctor. This is Donna. Oh, I love your stuff. What a mind. You fool me every time. Well, almost every time. Well, once or twice. Well, once. But it was a good once.’
THE DOCTOR, THE UNICORN AND THE WASP
THE DOCTOR: Attaboy, Charlie.
CHARLES DICKENS: Nobody calls me Charlie.
THE DOCTOR: The ladies do.
THE UNQUIET DEAD
DONNA: No, but isn’t that a bit weird? Agatha Christie didn’t walk around surrounded by murders. Not really. I mean, that’s like meeting Charles Dickens and he’s surrounded by ghosts at Christmas.
THE DOCTOR: Well . . .
DONNA: Oh, come on! It’s not like we could drive across country and find Enid Blyton having tea with Noddy. Could we? Noddy’s not real. Is he? Tell me there’s no Noddy.
THE DOCTOR: There’s no Noddy.
THE UNICORN AND THE WASP
SARAH: It’s probably been vandalised.
THE DOCTOR: That’s a very unfair word, you know, because actually the Vandals were quite decent chaps.
INVASION OF THE DINOSAURS
CORDO: Each Megropolis was given its own sun.
THE DOCTOR: In-station fusion satellites. Galileo would have been impressed.
THE SUN MAKERS
SARAH: Oh, it’s no good, Doctor. They won’t budge.
THE DOCTOR: Hmm? I used a tangle Turk’s Head eye-splice with a gromit I picked up from Houdini. It should work.
REVENGE OF THE CYBERMEN
LEELA: Where did you learn to shoot like that?
THE DOCTOR: Shoot like what? Oh, like that. In Switzerland. Charming man. William Tell, he was called.
THE FACE OF EVIL
STOKER: It’s only to be expected. There’s a thunderstorm moving in and lightning is a form of static electricity, as was first proven by . . . Anyone?
THE DOCTOR: Benjamin Franklin.
STOKER: Correct.
THE DOCTOR: My mate, Ben. That was a day and a half. I got rope burns off that kite, and then I got soaked.
STOKER: Quite.
THE DOCTOR: And then I got electrocuted.
SMITH AND JONES
MARTHA: I didn’t know you could play?
THE DOCTOR: Oh, well, you know, if you hang around with Beethoven, you’re bound to pick a few things up.
THE LAZARUS EXPERIMENT
‘I’m telling you. Lloyd George, he used to drink me under the table.’
THE DOCTOR, ALIENS OF LONDON
‘French picklock. Never fails. Belonged to Marie Antoinette. Charming lady. Lost her head, poor thing.’
THE DOCTOR, PYRAMIDS OF MARS
ROMANA: Newton. Who’s Newton?
THE DOCTOR: Old Isaac? Friend of mine on Earth. Discovered gravity. Well, I say he discovered gravity. I had to give him a bit of a prod.
ROMANA: What did you do?
THE DOCTOR: Climbed up a tree.
ROMANA: And?
THE DOCTOR: Dropped an apple on his head.
ROMANA: Ah. And so he discovered gravity?
THE DOCTOR: No, no. He told me to clear off out of his tree. I explained it to him afterwards at dinner.
THE PIRATE PLANET
‘Pity about the scarf. Madame Nostradamus made it for me. A witty little knitter . . . Never get another one like it.’
THE DOCTOR, THE ARK IN SPACE
THE DOCTOR: I met him once, you know.
SARAH: Who?
THE DOCTOR: Shakespeare. Charming fellow. Dreadful actor.
SARAH: Perhaps that’s why he took up writing.
THE DOCTOR: Perhaps it was.
PLANET OF EVIL
COUNTESS: Hamlet. The first draft.
THE DOCTOR: What? It’s been missing for centuries.
COUNTESS: It’s quite genuine, I assure you.
THE DOCTOR: I know. I recognise the handwriting.
COUNTESS: Shakespeare’s.
THE DOCTOR: No, mine. He’d sprained his wrist writing sonnets. Wonderful stuff. ‘To be or not to be, that is the question. Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles and . . .’ ‘Take arms against a sea of troubles’? That’s a mixed . . . I told him that was a mixed metaphor and he would insist.
CITY OF DEATH
THE DOCTOR: Come on. We can all have a good flirt later.
SHAKESPEARE: Is that a promise, Doctor?
THE DOCTOR: Oh, fifty-seven academics just punched the air.
THE SHAKESPEARE CODE
‘Trust yourself. When you’re locked away in your room, the words just come, don’t they, like magic. Words of the right sound, the right shape, the right rhythm. Words that last for ever. That’s what you do, Will. You choose perfect words. Do it. Improvise.’
THE DOCTOR TO WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, THE SHAKESPEARE CODE
‘Perhaps it is time we were leaving. We don’t want to be blamed for starting a fire, do we? . . . I had enough of that in 1666.’
THE DOCTOR, PYRAMIDS OF MARS
‘And Picasso. What a ghastly old goat. I kept telling him, “Concentrate, Pablo. It’s one eye, either side of the face.”’
THE DOCTOR, VINCENT AND THE DOCTOR
ROMANA: ‘To the Doctor. A souvenir with love and thanks for all his help with the Minotaur. Theseus and Ariadne.’
THE DOCTOR: Yes. If I hadn’t produced that ball of string to find a way out of the labyrinth, they were going to unravel my scarf, the wretches.
THE CREATURE FROM THE PIT
‘I remember watching Michelangelo painting the Sistine Chapel. Wow! What a whinger. I kept saying to him, look, if you’re scared of heights, you shouldn’t have taken the job, then.’
THE DOCTOR, VINCENT AND THE DOCTOR
THE DOCTOR: Poisson? Reinette Poisson? No! No, no, no, no, no way. Reinette Poisson? Later Madame Étoiles? Later still mistress of Louis XV, uncrowned Queen of France? Actress, artist, musician, dancer, courtesan, fantastic gardener!
SERVANT: Who the hell are you?!
THE DOCTOR: I’m the Doctor, and I just snogged Madame de Pompadour.
THE GIRL IN THE FIREPLACE
THE DOCTOR: Oh, it doesn’t work like that, Winston, and it’s going to be tough. There are terrible days to come. The darkest days. But you can do it. You know you can.
CHURCHILL: Stay with us, and help us win through. The world needs you.
THE DOCTOR: The world doesn’t need me.
CHURCHILL: No?
THE DOCTOR: The world’s got Winston Spencer Churchill.
VICTORY OF THE DALEKS
THE DOCTOR: Rory, take Hitler and put him in that cupboard over there. Now, do it.
RORY: Right. Putting Hitler in the cupboard. Cupboard, Hitler. Hitler, cupboard. Come on.
LET’S KILL HITLER
GRACE: Did you know Madame Curie, too?
THE DOCTOR: Intimately.
GRACE: Did she kiss as good as me?
THE MASTER: As well as you.
DOCTOR WHO (TV MOVIE)