The only thing that didn’t make Charlie lock the door and pretend not to be home for his date with Dean was the fact that the food had turned out so great.
He’d barely slept after the encounter with Bryce. He kept replaying it over and over in his mind, wondering what he had done to mess up. Bryce had been so compelling—It feels good. It’s fun. I’ve been having fantasies, too. So where did it go wrong? They had acknowledged a mutual desire when Charlie had come out to him in the first place. They were both grown men. They had known the score before moving out of the dining room. His fears about it affecting their friendship shouldn’t have factored in since Charlie had had little chance to reciprocate.
Charlie couldn’t figure it out. The only answer that made sense was that maybe Bryce had discovered that it wasn’t as satisfying or exciting as he’d dreamed about. Charlie was practically a virgin in a lot of ways. Virgins were only desirable in fairy tales. In real life, they forgot when not to use their teeth, or they gagged when they swallowed too much, or they whined about it hurting. His inadequacies had obviously been enough to compel Bryce to forego an orgasm for himself, though it didn’t escape his attention that the closest he’d gotten to sucking the other man’s cock was biting his neck.
When the knock came at the door, he almost dropped the wine he had been pouring. He had no idea which tasted best with the fish. He didn’t even want to drink any after the previous night. But a plan was a plan, and he was going to see this date through, one way or another. He just had to get himself together long enough not to require emergency medical treatment before the night was over.
He had expected Dean’s charming smile, not Bryce’s green eyes and furrowed brow. “Dean’s not here yet, is he?”
Charlie shook off his surprise with a, “No, no, not yet.” He pulled the door wider, though he didn’t know if extending the invitation was welcoming disaster. “Come on in.”
“Good, because I wanted to talk to you before he got here. And if I had to wait until after he left, I’d probably lose my nerve.”
The panic that had stricken Charlie at Bryce’s hasty exit the night before returned. This was the explanation he now realized he didn’t want to hear. From the way Bryce couldn’t meet his eyes, there was no way this was going to be good.
“Whatever you want.” He took a half-step toward the kitchen and stopped. “I guess offering you a glass of wine would probably be a bad idea, huh?”
“Maybe later. Wine apparently doesn’t agree with my head.” Bryce ran his hand through his hair, looking distracted and more uneasy than Charlie had ever seen him. “Look, I don’t want you to have this date with Dean tonight. I don’t want you to see him at all. I wish you had never met him.”
His eyes widened with every word to come from Bryce’s mouth. “You’re the one who insisted on getting me out there. Unless…do you know something about him I don’t?”
“No, I don’t know anything about him except what you told me. He sounds like a great guy. And anybody with eyes could tell you that he’s hotter than hell. But I thought I could do this, and I was wrong. I thought I could help you find a few boyfriends, and help you with your dates, and encourage you to go out in the world. I can’t. Because then I’ll just stay up all night, every night, wondering why you’re dating the Deans of the world. Instead of dating me.”
It wasn’t what he expected. He hadn’t anticipated that maybe the reason Bryce ran was because he’d felt like he had an ulterior motive. At least his comment about being an asshole made sense now, though Charlie still disagreed with it. But the last thing he’d ever thought to hear from his best friend’s mouth was a desire to date. He’d been so helpful about Charlie’s need to adjust, willing to be there for endless questions and even more insecurities. Charlie had assumed that came from a place of friendship, and maybe it still did mostly.
But the fact that he would even confess as much as this meant there was more.
“Is that…is that what you want? For us to be…more than friends?”
“It’s what I’ve wanted for a long time. I didn’t want to put that on you right now because you’re still working stuff out. But these feelings aren’t going anywhere, and I thought it was only fair to let you know. You can tell me what you want from me or if you want anything from me at all.”
Though he wasn’t talking fast, Charlie still had to race to keep up with everything Bryce was saying. His mind was having too much difficulty processing it all.
“But you didn’t even know I was gay. How long have you felt like this?”
“It doesn’t matter that I didn’t know you were gay. You’re easily the best looking guy I know. You’re smart. You’re a great cook. You’re a great dad. You get so flustered when you feel out of control and I just think it’s really…cute.” He paused for a moment before adding. “Since before your divorce.”
Years. Bryce had felt like this for years. And of course he hadn’t acted upon it because they were friends, and Charlie was presumably straight, and Bryce was too good of a guy to ever do anything Charlie didn’t want. Even the night before…
It struck him then why Bryce had stopped. Because he’d wanted just a taste of what he thought he couldn’t have and convinced himself he could probably keep it fun. Only he couldn’t once things started heating up. And he’d done the honorable thing and walked away.
“I didn’t know.” It sounded lame even to him. “You’re my best friend, Bryce. You’ve been there when I needed you most. You were fantastic about my coming out. It never even crossed my mind that you’d be interested in something else.”
“I know.” He moved like he was going to go to the door, then paused and sighed. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come over here now. I really don’t want to make things unnecessarily awkward for you, but I didn’t want to have a repeat of last night either. You know, the last part that wasn’t any fun.”
Charlie shook his head. “It’s not awkward. It’s just…” He laughed unexpectedly. “Apparently, you’re a lot better than I am about handling surprise announcements. It’s just taking me longer to absorb it. But I don’t want you to go. If you don’t want me to see Dean, then I won’t.”
“And see me instead?”
He swallowed against the tightness of his throat. “I might have underplayed my attraction to you when we talked about it before. I didn’t want to freak you out because I think you’re utterly amazing.”
“Really? Utterly amazing?”
Though there was a faint tease in his tone, there was even more delight, like Charlie had said the magic words. “I was completely serious when I said I thought guys would fall into your lap. When you’re around, I have a tendency to forget other guys are even there.”
Bryce closed the space between them, taking Charlie’s arm to pull him close in a half-embrace. Charlie didn’t resist him. “I didn’t want to leave last night, but I honestly didn’t know if either one of us were ready for what I knew would happen.”
“Maybe we need a real date to be ready.” The force of Bryce’s gaze took his breath away. “I’m willing to try if you are. If you don’t think it’s going to ruin our friendship.”
“I think if it’s what we both want, it won’t ruin anything.” He leaned in, like he was going for a kiss, but diverted at the last moment to nuzzle against Charlie’s neck, inhaling deeply. “What time are you expecting Dean here?”
“Within the half hour.” The hardest thing he had ever done was let Bryce go, but he did, if only to keep from touching him in ways that were going to get both of them in trouble. “Is there someplace public I can take you for a real date? Where we don’t have to hide the fact that we’re on the date together? Like dinner and dancing or something.”
“Yeah. Why don’t you come pick me up in an hour? I’ll make myself all pretty for you and we’ll go out.”
Smiling at Bryce’s suggestion was the easiest thing he’d done all day. “It’s a date then.”
* * * *
Fifty-six minutes later, Charlie walked up to Bryce’s front door with a far lighter heart than he’d had an hour earlier. He hadn’t actually been able to catch Dean before leaving for Charlie’s house, but after the young man had arrived, he’d done the only thing he could. He told him the truth. Everything had gotten infinitely easier when he’d reached the part about Christian and Dean’s confused face had shifted into horror.
“You have a kid?” Like Charlie had some contagious disease or something.
After that, Dean couldn’t leave fast enough. And Charlie still had enough time to dress to the nines and get to Bryce’s before his time ran out.
Bryce had apparently had the same thought, because Charlie had never seen him looking so nice. He wore black trousers and a black shirt with a dark blue tie. He also had a slightly shy smile that made his already handsome face even more charming and boyish.
“I’m glad you’re early.”
Charlie smiled. This was already easier than Dean. This was his best friend, the man who knew him in and out. “I’m glad I guessed right about to wear.” He swept his gaze over Bryce, hungrier than he expected. “You look fantastic.”
“Thanks. It feels like it’s been a long time since I’ve had to dress up for a first date. Though I guess it’s been even longer for you.”
“Everything’s been longer for me.” He stepped back and waited as Bryce locked up. “Do you mind driving? I don’t know where we’re going.”
“I don’t mind driving at all. Come on. I was able to get reservations at a new Italian place I like a lot. Apparently, it was the last table for the night.” Bryce opened the passenger door of his truck and smiled. “So I guess it’s a good thing I decided to storm over to your house when I did.”
“I’d say it was a very good thing.” He slid in and watched Bryce walk around the front to get in the other side. As soon as the door was shut, Charlie leaned across the gap and grasped the back of Bryce’s neck. “And I’m going to do this while I still have an ounce of nerve left…”
He closed the distance between them and sealed their mouths together. Darkness blanketed them from neighbors’ scrutiny, but right then, Charlie didn’t give a damn who saw them kissing.
Bryce moaned and cupped the back of Charlie’s head, threading his fingers through the hair at the base of his neck. He held Charlie so tight that, for a moment, he wasn’t sure Bryce had any intention of letting go before they really gave the neighborhood something to talk about.
But then it was over, Bryce’s breath warm across his mouth. “You’re pretty good at that.”
“I think I’m going to need a ton of practice, though.” He slid back to his side of the seat, achingly hard now. Discreetly, he shifted his erection in order to get more comfortable. “I’ve got fifteen years to make up for, after all.”
Bryce started the engine and put the truck into gear, exactly as he had done the last time he took Charlie out. Except, this time it was completely different. He had never been in the truck as anything more than just a good friend. But he didn’t know what they technically were now. Still just friends? Or were they already more?
“Then maybe it’s just a natural talent. Because it sure doesn’t feel like you need more practice.”
“Well, I think I need practice. But hey, if you don’t want to be my practice partner, I’m sure I can figure something out…”
“I’ll be your practice partner and anything else you need.”
“Good.” He smiled into the darkness, though his reflection gleamed against his window. They drove along in comfortable silence for a few minutes before he said, “Though you know, it doesn’t really feel like a first date. Dates are for getting to know one another, aren’t they? I think you know everything interesting about me already.”
“Oh, I doubt I know everything interesting about you. For example, I have no idea if you’re a morning person.”
The slight suggestion in his voice brought Charlie’s arousal back in full force. He was very glad he’d worn a suit that allowed a little more room to hide it.
“I work at a bank,” he replied, ignoring the implication. “I have to be a morning person or I’m late. So now it’s my turn to find something out about you, right? Like…boxers or briefs?”
“You know, it’s more fun when you to get to discover the answer to that question for yourself.”
His smile returned. “Well, I can’t argue with that. The only downside is I have to wait until the date is over to get my answer.”
“That’s not very fair, I guess. Commando when I can get away with it, boxers the rest of the time.”
Charlie dared a glance sideways. “And tonight?”
“No, that’s definitely an answer you’re going to have to find on your own.”
Their shared chuckles felt good. Right. More comfortable than anything had a right to be. It was a relief to know they could joke about kisses and underwear just as easily as they could about barbecues and baseball. It made the rest of the drive to the restaurant all that much better.
When Bryce pulled into the lot, Charlie looked the building over. “So Italian, you said?”
“Yeah. You like Italian, don’t you?”
“Love it.” He waited by the truck for Bryce to join them. “Are they going to freak out if we walk in like this?” To illustrate what he meant, he slipped his hand into the other man’s, curling their fingers together until they were interlocked.
“No. This place is a lot like the bookstore. Gay friendly. I know the guy who is dating the head chef. I won’t take you anywhere you’ll feel uncomfortable.”
“And dancing?”
“They have a nice little dance floor and a guitar player on Saturday nights. I’m going to claim at least one dance.”
“At least,” Charlie agreed.
He let Bryce lead him into the cozy restaurant, wondering if he looked like a smiling fool. He couldn’t seem to stop. Everything about this night already felt like everything he’d always wanted; it boggled his mind to think Bryce had been there the whole time. He barely noticed the warm décor, the soft lighting making the dark wood fixtures glow. He simply followed where Bryce and the hostess led, not once letting his date’s hand go.
Not one person they passed gave him the evil eye. Charlie almost sighed in relief when they took their seats.
“So far, so good,” Bryce murmured as they settled at their table. He leaned over, giving a new air of intimacy to their tiny space. “I do want to apologize for the way I left last night. I just wanted to get that out there.”
“You thought you were doing the right thing. And you were. So don’t worry about it. Tonight is about new beginnings and old friends.”
Bryce smiled. “Good.”
The waitress arrived and took their drink and appetizer orders. Charlie opted for wine, and expected Bryce to order a beer, but he requested nothing more than water with a slice of lemon.
“I get insecure when I drink,” Bryce explained as their server left.
Charlie’s brows shot up. “Trust me. You have absolutely nothing to be insecure about. I am hooked, good and proper.”
“Maybe now, but that’s not the way I felt last night.”
“Which we’re not talking about. We’re moving on.” He paused. “Unless you think we need to talk about it.”
“No, no, we don’t need to talk about it. You’re right, we should move on. I just…still feel a little bad about it.”
Charlie leaned closer. Beneath the table, his knee pressed into Bryce’s. “Please don’t. It’s my job to be the anxious one, remember? You’re the hotshot pro here. If you get nervous, we’re doomed.”
“Honestly, I’m not a hotshot pro. I just wanted you to think I was. You know, so you’d be impressed with my obvious prowess.”
“Well, it worked. And I found out firsthand about your prowess last night, so I say that makes us even. Okay?”
Bryce inclined his head. “Right. We’re even. I still intend to make you get out of the house and have fun, though.”
Laughing, Charlie sat back and unfolded his napkin into his lap. “We’re out. We’re having fun. I think your nefarious plan worked wonders.”
“We’re going to have a standing date. Every Saturday night.” Bryce smiled. “I’ve had plenty of time to think about all the things I want to do with you. And at least a quarter of those things involve leaving the house.”
A standing date. They already spent a fair amount of their free time together anyway—being single men in a neighborhood of families and older couples had long ago driven them in that direction—but this was different. This was deliberate. A statement of, “I want to ensure I have this time with you.”
There was nothing Charlie could do but agree.
The hours passed quickly. Conversation got easier once they got past the anxiety of the night before, and in many ways, it was like any other time they spent together. It was easy. Comfortable. The primary differences lay in contact. Charlie never moved his knee away from Bryce’s, and more than once, Bryce reached across to touch him, his hand here, the corner of his mouth when he had marinara sauce clinging there. Appetizers came, entrees came, and still, all Charlie wanted was more of him.
When the waitress arrived to clear their plates, Charlie wiped his hands and mouth before placing his napkin on the table in front of him. “I’d like my dance now,” he said, rising to his feet. He held out his hand for Bryce, his skin suddenly hot. “May I?”
Bryce took Charlie’s hand without further prompting. When he stood, he didn’t avoid invading Charlie’s personal space. A beat passed, and Charlie forgot where they were. He forgot everything except the sudden proximity of Bryce’s solid form and warm breath that smelled vaguely of garlic.
They crossed to the small dancing area, walking side by side. Charlie glanced around the room, watching for anybody staring at him. But nobody stared. Everybody was too caught up in their own romances, their own highs and dramas.
“My guess is that you’ll want to lead,” Bryce murmured.
Everything came down to those brilliant eyes, gazing into his. “I want to hold you,” he said, drawing him close. He took the lead anyway, folding their arms in order to erase the last of the distance between them, and bowed his head to kiss the soft spot below Bryce’s ear. Now he had the added scent of Bryce’s cologne, and his body went hard in an instant. “But don’t worry. I’ll give you the chance to lead later.”
“I hope so.” Bryce wrapped his arm around Charlie’s waist, following Charlie’s steps easily. It soon became apparent that Bryce knew how to dance, knew the best way to move his body. It also became apparent that they moved well together. Not that Charlie could concentrate too much on dancing. Most of his attention was on the erection pressed against his hip, and the regular rhythm of Bryce’s breath.
One song bled into two. Charlie didn’t even stop when the music paused in between. He couldn’t get over how wonderfully they fit. Bryce molded to him in all the right places; there was no awkwardness or clumsy adjustments in order to be able to touch as each so obviously wanted.
By the end of the first verse in the second song, Charlie grew bolder. His mouth moved along the soft stubble at Bryce’s jaw, back and forth so their cheeks nuzzled, his breath fanned down the side of Bryce’s neck.
“God, I love the way you feel,” he whispered.
He felt Bryce’s smile, a twitch of muscle against his cheek. “I love the way you smell. Your cologne. Your sweat. Even your laundry detergent.”
Charlie chuckled. “So have you been secretly smelling me every time we’re together?”
“Well, yes. That’s not too creepy is it?”
“Not any creepier than me wishing I could sink my teeth into your ass every time I see it.”
“Every time?” Bryce chuckled softly, his arm tightening around Charlie. “God, I wish you would have mentioned that sooner.”
“Yeah, well, fitting ‘please let me eat your ass’ into everyday conversation isn’t as easy as you might think.” The second song ended, but the guitarist must have taken inspiration by their continued dancing because he launched immediately into the next. Charlie sighed with satisfaction. “I don’t want to stop.”
“I know. Me, neither. But I think we should continue this back at your place, because honestly, I don’t think I can keep my hands in safe places for much longer.”
“On one condition. You spend the night.”
“You would have to bodily throw me from the house to make me leave.”
A thrill went through Charlie. Though it was the last thing his body wanted, he broke the contact between them and stepped back. “Let’s go home then.”