in Jet City, a trailer park in Seattle. I got my baseball glove for two bucks at Goodwill and found my Mariners cap in a garbage can by the RapidRide E bus stop on Aurora Avenue. I don’t have baseball cleats or an authentic jersey. I’ve never been to a major-league baseball game, and we don’t have cable TV. I follow the Mariners on my radio.
My mom has worked as a custodian at Northwest Hospital for so long that she has her name—Timmi—stitched on her uniform. She named me Lazarus because I almost died while I was being born, and there’s a guy in the Bible named Lazarus who came back from the dead. I’m not good at school, and I’m not good at talking, probably because I was born two months early. When I get nervous, I tilt my head sideways and my eyes roll back, and that’s how I stay until something frees up and the words move again. I went to speech class all through grade school, and that helped some. Still, if I’m with Antonio, my younger brother, I let him do the talking for both of us.
When I’m on my game, none of that matters, because my pitching speaks for me. The hitters all look more like baseball players than I do, but their fancy gear does them no good. My arm is free and loose like a whip, and everything slows. Everything except the ball coming out of my hand. The batter might slap a soft ground ball or manage a pop fly, but squaring up one of my fastballs and driving it far and deep?
Not happening.
When I’m in the zone, I know I’m good enough to get drafted by a major-league team, and maybe even good enough to make it all the way to the major leagues. But to take even one step down that road, I need a scout to see me when I’m on my game. Until that happens, nothing happens.
My school, North Central High, is a tough school. The kids are poor like my brother and me. Some are immigrant kids who don’t speak English at home. Some are in gangs, or are gang wannabes. Teachers and coaches desert North Central first chance they get.
Mr. Kellogg coaches our baseball team, and he does it alone. No assistant coaches, no parent volunteers. Just Mr. Kellogg. He was a third baseman in high school, so he knows hitting and fielding, but not pitching.
That’s nothing new for me. I’ve never had a real pitching coach. I’ve had games when my stuff is unhittable, but when I’m not in the zone, I guide my pitches instead of letting them fly. I don’t know if my stride is too long or I’m releasing the ball too soon, and there’s never been anybody to ask. My fastball comes right down Main Street, and it isn’t all that fast. Then I get hit, and hit hard, which is why my overall stats are mediocre.
Major-league teams don’t draft mediocre pitchers.