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Maggie looked at Rose. Tears streamed down her cheeks and onto the stack of letters she held in her hand.
“You were friends with my mother.”
“The very best of friends,” Rose replied. “We were roommates all through college. We were so different from one another, but became as close as sisters. I have yet to meet another person as special as she was. We were only able to write for a little while. When I came across a copy of her obituary I cried for months. My husband wasn’t even able to console me.”
Maggie had so many questions, but she wasn’t sure where to begin.
“I don’t know what to say. What do the letters mean?”
“Well, in the beginning, Caroline was protecting me. In the end, she was protecting you, and herself.”
“You? How was she protecting you?”
“Because I’m your birth mother, Maggie. If anyone had found that out, my life and your mother’s would never have been the same.”
*
Today I found Rose in the cafeteria crying. She can be somewhat emotional at times so I wasn’t worried at first. But then she looked at me. I can always tell when something is really wrong by how dim her eyes get. I thought for sure it had something to do with her parents. But it didn’t. Danny is being stationed overseas. Her worst nightmare.
I’ll admit I thought maybe they wouldn’t make it once school got going. I mean, they don’t see each other much as it is. But I was wrong. I think they’re in it for good.
I tried to comfort her but I wasn’t really sure what to say. I just held her hand across the table and let her cry.
My heart is torn. Literally. Patrick and I are planning our wedding and I couldn’t be happier. He’s so perfect for me. Such a leader who takes control of every situation. Someone I can count on – a solid, steady presence in my life.
But my heart aches for Rose. She got news today that Danny was killed in a helicopter crash while serving overseas. She’s devastated. To be honest, neither one of us can stop crying.
Rose told me a secret today. She’s pregnant. Honestly, it’s as if the world is spinning out of control and we have no clue how to make it stop. Rose’s parents are basically disowning her. I want to help her so much. But I just don’t know how.
*
“Maggie, I can’t even imagine how much this must overwhelm you.”
Maggie hugged herself while rocking back and forth. She found the courage to ask the only question that seemed to come to her mind at the moment.
“Why did you give me up?”
Rose sighed. “I didn’t want to. Believe me, I didn’t. If Danny had survived, I knew my parents would eventually get used to the idea of us having a child before we were able to get married, and we were going to get married. But once he was gone, I just couldn’t see myself raising a child alone and I knew my parents wouldn’t support me. Truthfully, I wasn’t sure I could handle the reminder every single day of Danny and all that I’d lost. That’s extremely selfish of me, I know, but I want you to know the truth.”
Maggie stood and began pacing the floor.
“So how did I end up with my mom and… dad?”
“Well, it was your mother’s idea. She knew that with she and Patrick getting married, they could raise you as their own, and I would know that you were with someone I loved and trusted. However, after you were born and Patrick and Caroline adopted you, Patrick’s ugly side began to show. He didn’t like anyone knowing you weren’t his child and said the only way he would continue to keep you was if they moved to California and your mother and I were never to speak again. Patrick was never crazy about me anyway, and I think it was his way of getting me out of Caroline’s life for good.”
Maggie sat back down. Her tears had stopped as if the flood of information was some sort of dam to her system. She was thinking so hard that it hurt.
“What happened to you after all this?”
“I met and married Michael, Kate’s dad, and we built a life for ourselves in Boston. Your mother was able to write to me in secret for a while, but that was it. When I met Gwen at your Christmas party and heard her last name, I had to leave the table. I realized she was the woman who had helped me write to your mother all those years.” She stopped for a moment and looked down at her hands. “Maggie, I regret a lot of the choices I made before I met Michael. But I never regretted my choice to have you. I only wish that I could have raised you and seen you grow up. I’ve prayed so much for so many years about all this. You were put with Patrick and Caroline for a reason. Maybe it was to help Caroline endure the heartache Patrick caused, or maybe for both of you to keep each other strong. I don’t know.”
She took a sip of her tea and continued.
“Kate told me about meeting you when she moved here. I wondered if it could be you, but when Kate came back for Michael’s funeral and showed me a picture of you with Kate and Hannah, I knew it was true. You look exactly like your father. Then when I got here and saw you and heard you knew of your adoption, I prayed for wisdom and felt that God wanted me to set us both free by telling you the truth. I only hope that you can someday forgive me.”
Maggie listened intently, tears forming again in her eyes. “Wait a minute. If you’re my birth mother, then Kate is my half-sister. And Drew and David are my half-brothers.”
“Yes.”
“Do any of them know this yet?”
“No. I felt I should tell you first.”
The two women sat in silence. Maggie’s shoulders sagged. The puzzle pieces she’d been trying to place now fit together, yet her mind still couldn’t process the picture they created. She spoke first.
“I’m sorry if I am not saying much, Rose. This is a lot to take in. I knew that I had a mother out there somewhere, and maybe siblings too, but to find out that you are and Kate is….”
“I know.” She looked down. “I know.”
“Do you have a picture of my …dad?”
“Yes, I have one right here.” She reached into her purse again and pulled out two photographs. Maggie noticed the shape that dated them, along with the worn edges. She took them from Rose and saw in the young man in a Marine Corps uniform the same brown eyes she saw when she looked at herself in the mirror. She had always thought they were her mother’s eyes. Caroline’s eyes. Her heart broke again. She looked at the other photograph. It was a shot of Caroline and Rose at college. They both looked young and alive. Caroline looked so happy.
“It’s hard to believe sometimes that we were ever that young.” Rose smiled through her tears. “It feels like a lifetime ago. I thought I would never love again after Danny, but Michael was so understanding and kind. He never judged me for all that happened.”
“Did he ever encourage you to try to find me?”
“No. He knew that it would only cause more pain, and he didn’t ever want Patrick to hurt you or your mother.”
“Did he know my father?”
“No. I met Michael after Caroline and Patrick moved out here. But I had told him about our history, and he agreed that letting go and letting Caroline love you and raise you was best.”
“I have a feeling, Rose, that my mother…,” Maggie stumbled. “Caroline, wanted me to find you after she and my father were gone. I think she wanted me to know you.”
“I hope so.”
Maggie reached over to return the photographs to Rose.
“You go ahead and keep those. I have a few more, and I have the memories that are still so clear. I only regret that you don’t. I’m so sorry, Maggie. I hope you can believe that I did what I did because I love you.”
“I understand that, Rose. I really do. I just hope you can give me some time to let it all sink in. I have a lot to think about.”
“Of course you do. I have no intention of pushing you into something you don’t want. I simply needed to tell you the truth.”
“When are you going to tell Kate?”
“I was going to talk with her tonight.”
Rose took a Kleenex from her purse and wiped her face.
“You take your time and think about things. I’ll go now, and when you’re ready to continue talking, you know where to find me.”
Before Maggie could protest, Rose had moved through the room and out the front door.
*
Rose’s feet moved back towards Kate’s house, her shoes like they were filled with lead. Her chest hurt as if she’d held her breath going into the conversation with Maggie and didn’t breathe again until she walked out the door. She was panting like she had run a marathon when she reached Kate’s front porch. Sitting down on the steps, she let the sobs take her over. She cried for Danny, she cried for Caroline, for Michael and for the baby she never knew until now. She cried until she didn’t have a drop left.