Kate finished filling Liam in and took a sip of her hot chocolate. She had been dying to tell him. She’d just known he’d understand and be sympathetic. He was the one person she wanted to confide in when anything happened, these days.
‘Wow! Never a dull moment in your house,’ he said.
‘I’m forty-two, and I’m going to be a grandmother.’ Kate laughed bitterly.
‘Not ideal, I grant you that. But if I could try to point out some positives? At least you like Piper, her parents are on board to help out, Maggie’s chipping in as well, and Luke’s standing up and being a responsible young man. That’s something to be very proud of, you know.’
Kate raised an eyebrow. ‘It’s a pity he couldn’t have been more responsible when he was having sex. Then he wouldn’t be in this mess.’
She was sick with anxiety about it. As if worrying about Jess wasn’t bad enough, now she had to worry about Luke. The awkward meeting with Piper’s parents on St Stephen’s Day had been made less awful than she’d expected because Piper’s parents were lovely. Well, the mother was lovely. The father was quiet, clearly angry and devastated.
Luke hadn’t told Nick about the meeting and had begged Kate not to. He said he didn’t want Nick ruining it by trying to force them to have an abortion in front of Piper’s parents.
Thankfully, it quickly became apparent that Piper’s parents were fully on board to help out and be supportive, a huge relief to Kate. She promised them that Luke would be a good father and would not renege on his duties, no matter what happened between him and Piper.
Every time Kate saw Luke, she wanted to cry. He’d had such a bright future and now it was going to be a mess. Maggie kept saying it would be okay, that they’d work it out so he could go to college, but Kate still worried. It was a mammoth responsibility on young shoulders.
‘Come on, Kate, we were all young once, and were we responsible all the time? I doubt it. Luke was unlucky, very unlucky, but it doesn’t mean his life is over. With both families and their friends supporting them, they’ll be fine. They sound like a lovely pair of young people,’ Liam said.
Kate leant forward, so Nathalie, who was clearing up, couldn’t hear her. ‘Is it awful to wish they’d had an abortion and put it behind them?’
Liam shook his head. ‘No, it’s human nature to want the best for your kids and to protect them from struggles. But this may not be the worst thing in the world. We both have kids and we love them. Would we change a hair on their heads? No. Is there ever really a right time to have children?’
‘After school would be a good start!’
Liam grinned. ‘You have a point there. Will she be able to sit her exams?’
‘Yes. Her due date is early July, but the poor thing will be doing them hugely pregnant.’
‘Tough, but not impossible.’
Kate looked at his kind, open face. ‘Are you always this optimistic?’
He smiled. ‘Only when faced with someone desperate to see light at the end of a dark tunnel. You’ve had a huge amount to deal with, but you’re strong. You’ve raised wonderful kids. It’ll all work out.’
Kate smiled and squeezed his hand. ‘Thank you for listening and for making me feel better. Thank God I went to the mindfulness class. I hated it but I met you.’
Liam blushed and focused on sipping his cappuccino.
Nathalie came over. ‘I am finished with the cleaning. Are you okay for drinks? Would you not prefer to ’ave a glass of wine?’
‘I think if I open a bottle I may never stop,’ Kate said.
‘Poor Kate.’ Nathalie patted her shoulder. ‘She is ’aving the very stressful time. Why Luke could not put on the condom? I understand Piper not taking the pill, it make girls fat. I say non to the pill, but I always use the condom.’
‘If only all young people were as sensible as you,’ Liam said, winking at Kate.
‘It’s not sensible. It’s fear. I never want to be ’aving the children. I ’ate babies – crying, sheeting and doing the pipi everywhere. Non, merci. I like nice clothes and beautiful rugs and books not ruined by chocolate hands or the snotty nose.’
Liam threw his head back and laughed, a kind of joyful hooting. Kate found it infectious and soon joined in.
Liam wiped tears from his eyes. ‘Nathalie, you are too much. Babies do more than just secrete all over the place. They’re great fun too.’
Nathalie shrugged in her nonchalant French way. ‘Maybe fun for you, but for me a nightmare.’
‘I won’t put you down for babysitting duties then,’ Kate said.
‘When the baby can go to the toilet and wash their own ’ands, I am ’appy to ’elp.’
‘So, about fourteen if it’s a boy, then!’ Liam chuckled.
Even Nathalie laughed. ‘Yes, and two if it’s a girl, non?’
Liam nodded. ‘Yes.’
Nathalie studied Liam’s face. ‘You know, if you cut this beard short or maybe shave it off, you could be quite good-looking.’
Liam put his hand on his heart. ‘From you, Nathalie, that backhanded compliment means a lot.’
‘Seriously, you should cut it and put on a shirt that ’as been ironed. This look as if your dog sleep on it.’
Liam laughed again. ‘He probably did.’
‘Well, if you want to impress a lady,’ Nathalie grinned, ‘you need to be a bit better with the grooming and the fashion.’
It was Kate’s turn to blush. ‘Thanks, Nathalie. That’s enough advice for one evening.’
As she was leaving, Nathalie said to Kate, ‘I like this one. ’Airy, but funny and kind.’
When she’d gone, Kate looked down at her cup. ‘Sorry, she can be a bit too free and easy with her advice.’
Liam stroked his beard. ‘You know, she’s right, I should do better with “the grooming and the fashion”.’
Kate laughed. ‘You’re fine the way you are.’
‘I’d like to be more than fine.’ Liam stared straight at her.
‘I didn’t mean it like that. You’re great.’
Liam beamed. ‘You’re pretty great yourself.’
Kate wasn’t comfortable with the way the conversation was going so she changed the subject. She really liked Liam. In the short time she’d known him he had become someone she trusted and whose company she enjoyed, but she just didn’t find him attractive and, in any case, she had no space for any kind of romance. She could barely breathe with all that was going on.
‘So, how’s work?’
‘Work is fine. I’ve got some very intense students eager to get firsts. It’s amazing how much more focused kids are, these days. When I started out teaching Spanish, the lectures were only ever half full on a good day. Now, every lecture is almost eighty per cent full and the kids are killing themselves studying. I don’t know if it’s better or worse. More importantly, how’s Jess?’
Kate poked at a small marshmallow that was stuck to the bottom of her hot chocolate cup. She’d have to stop drinking it or she’d put on the weight she’d lost due to stress. ‘To be honest, I’m worried about her. Larry dying has really set her back. She’s heartbroken, and he was so good at cheering her up and making the days less long. It’s just awful that he’s gone. She’ll miss him so much. He was so young and a really lovely boy. It really scared me. He’d been in remission three times, but it came back and … Well, he’s gone now. I’m trying really hard not to think about it. I’m just focusing on the fact that, in two days’ time, Jess is having the tests done to see if the bone-marrow transplant has put her into complete remission. I’m sick with nerves.’
‘I’ll pray it all goes well. How does she seem?’
Kate tried to swallow the fear that rose in her throat every time she thought about it. Jess didn’t look well. She was constantly exhausted and slept a lot. Kate didn’t even want to allow herself to think about it, but Jess had seemed worse in the last ten days. The results had to be good. They just had to. ‘I don’t know, really. She looks so frail. I’m a bit worried, to be honest.’
Liam put his cup down. ‘I know it’s frightening for you. Look, I’m here day or night, so just call me. I remember nights being the worst time, when you wake up and it’s four a.m., and you know you’re not going to get back to sleep and you start thinking very dark thoughts. Honestly, call me anytime. I’m not a great sleeper anyway – chances are I’ll be awake, reading.’
He got it, Kate thought. Only someone who had been through this could understand. That was exactly how she felt when she woke up – terrified. She often wished she could talk to someone to calm herself down. One night, in complete desperation, she’d called Nick. Jaden had been woken by the noise of the phone ringing and Jenny had gone mad. Nick had tried to be nice to her, but had hung up after a minute because Jenny was shouting at him.
She smiled at Liam. ‘You may regret that offer.’
He smiled back. ‘I won’t.’
Kate glanced at the clock on the wall. ‘Shoot! I have to go. I had no idea it was so late. I want to try to get Jess to eat something.’
‘Good luck and keep me posted. I’m crossing all fingers for good news.’
Liam leant down and gave Kate a bear hug. She kissed the side of his scratchy beard and said goodbye.