CHAPTER THREE

“To whoever finds this letter, I’m sorry. I couldn’t keep living with the guilt. Drix risked his life to save me. He was such an inspiration to the crew and he could never be replaced. I tried moving on but I can’t. I hope those who knew me can one day understand why I couldn’t continue on. Don’t mourn for me. Mourn for Drix and the others who sacrificed themselves to save us. All I ask is that my body be cremated and scattered into space. I do not want a funeral….Elizabeth.”

After reading the letter, which Elizabeth Montablo wrote on actual paper, Julie looked down at the botanist. She was lying on her bed with her arms crossed. It was painful having lost so many crew members, to lose another one…

“She looks so peaceful,” muttered Julie.

Doctor Myers took passed his medical scanner over Elizabeth as Captain Roberts and psychiatrist Neeman Harthy looked on. Elizabeth had sent a time delayed message to Professor Harthy notifying him of her intentions. By the time he got to her quarters it was already too late.

“She couldn’t get over her guilt.” Neeman was feeling guilty himself for not being able to save his patient. Since the attack his workload had tripled, providing therapy to crew members scarred by the attack. Elizabeth was particularly upset. Blaming herself for Drix’s death. The professor focused hard on her, wanting to ensure that Drix’s sacrifice would not be wasted. For Neeman, this was a personal failure.

Julie patted the psychiatrist on the back, trying to reassure him. “You did what you could for her. It’s not your fault.” She looked over at John. The captain showed no reaction to any of this. He hadn’t utter a word since he and Julie were called to Elizabeth’s quarters.

“I’m picking up high levels of fronixa,” announced Myers. “She took enough to suppress her metabolic functions.”

“Did she pass away peacefully?” asked Julie.

Myers nodded. “She never felt a thing. She just drifted off to sleep.”

John finally spoke up. “Since it’s obvious she committed suicide there’s no need to conduct an autopsy. We’ll obey her wishes and cremate her.” The coldness in his words did not go unnoticed by Julie. Since the attack almost five months ago, John’s demeanor had completely changed. He was no longer the personable individual she remembered. He stopped interacting with the crew and kept to himself in his quarters. He only emerged when it was absolutely necessary to handle ship business.

“I’ll still need to conduct a non-invasive autopsy to verify the manner of death,” said Myers.

“Fine, take care of it.” John abruptly walked out without acknowledging anyone else. Julie could only shake her head in despair. She felt like she had already lost her good friend.

It was Neeman’s turn to try and comfort Julie. “I tried setting up a counseling session with him but he refuses every time.”

“We can’t do anything for him until he’s ready to deal with his grief,” said Julie. With the discovery of his sister’s death at the hands of Admiral Johnson, plus the loss of Alex’sis, Drix, and so many crew members, John had been dealt an emotional blow. But rather than reaching out for help, he had internalized his pain and closed himself off from the people around him. Julie was afraid that it would only be a matter of time before he could no longer keep his grief buried.

“I want to help him but the captain doesn’t view me favorably,” added Myers. The captain blamed the doctor for having a hand in his sister’s death. The doctor had treated Admiral Johnson for several years for his dementia. John felt Myers didn’t do enough to prevent the admiral from murdering his sister.

“You two remain focused on the crew,” Julie advised the two doctors. “I’ll keep my attention on the captain.”

Myers looked at Elizabeth’s face. “I’ll let Chris know about Elizabeth. I’m sure he’ll want to do something to honor her.”

********

Chris Anne was down in the botanical gardens on deck seventy-four. He was planting some fresh roses for his friends as several bots were tending the gardens around him. Although the environmental systems filtered out any dust in the air, he gently brushed his hands over the adjacent tombstones in front of him.

“Sorry I haven’t been by lately, sweeties,” as Chris looked at the names of Drix and Sulix on the tombstones. Sulix was the female Cresorian whose ship was found by PHOENIX. Drix had hoped to mate with her. Unfortunately, she was already dead on her ship when they found her. They brought her back to PHOENIX so she could rest in peace on the ship rather than be left alone on her ship.

It was decided Drix would be laid to rest next to Sulix. It seemed only right and many of the crew believed Drix would have wanted this. Chris Anne had faithfully come down here weekly to plant fresh flowers at the graves and to talk to his friends. For him, it was his way of coping with the loss of his friend.

“You should see the ship now,” continued Chris. “Parts of it are almost unrecognizable now. It runs on all sorts of different alien technologies. The stuff’s over my head so I won’t bore you with the details. Luckily, Central still looks the same. I also made sure they left The Lounge alone. Luckily, it suffered very little damage in the attack.

“Mu’s done really well as Mario’s assistant chef. He’s even created some of his own dishes, although the Quix keep complaining none of the food is salty enough. The three Aldarian women are doing well running Beverly’s shop. She’d be proud if she was here to see some of their creative fashion designs. She taught them well.

“Julie’s really stepped up to the plate. Between overseeing the ship’s repairs and keeping crew morale up, she’s come into her own as a commander. The captain’s been spending all his time getting the ship ready for launch. I don’t see much of him anymore. No one does. I know he misses Alex’sis but he won’t talk about her. I’m the morale officer but that doesn’t mean much if I can’t help the captain.”

“When he is ready he will reach out to us.” Chris turned around to see Thresha standing behind him. The Aldarian leader gave the singer a comforting smile. “Unless Drix and Sulix have provided any insight on what we can do for the captain.”

“Unfortunately, they’re not much conversationalists.” Chris stood up and brushed some grass and dirt off his blue dress. “They’re just being nice and letting me ramble on, which is ok. It’s good therapy for me.”

“It is considerate of you to keep them up to date about the ship,” said Thresha.

“A part of me doesn’t want to accept Drix is gone,” admitted Chris. “If I keep him and Sulix in the loop about what’s going on, it feels like they’re still a part of the crew. I know it sounds silly…”

“It does not,” reassured Thresha as she looked at the tombstones. Drix’s death had a profound effect on everyone. Not only was he the first alien encountered by PHOENIX but he had become an integral member of the crew.

“I’m surprised to see you down here,” remarked Chris. “I thought you’d be consulting with your people on appointing the next Yearden.”

“Unfortunately, our meditation has yielded no answers.” It was customary for a group of Aldarians to come together and mediate to determine who should be the next spiritual leader. The crew had affectionately named the group the committee. The Aldarians liked the term and officially adopted it as their own. The meditation process usually took only a few days but after months of trying to come to a consensus, the Aldarians were no closer to a decision.

“Maybe you’ll find the answer a different way,” said Chris.

“I did not consider that,” replied Thresha. “Perhaps if we step back from our meditation we will find the answer elsewhere. In order to help move us forward, I have elected to step down from the committee. Perhaps one less individual will give us the answer.”

“I’m sure it’ll work itself out, sweetie. With the ship launching in two days, maybe getting out into space again will get the committee unstuck.”

Thresha was surprised by Chris’ statement. “I thought you already knew. The launch has been delayed for five days.”

Chris was caught off-guard by the news. “Since when? Everyone I’ve talked to today still says we’re launching in two days.”

“I crossed paths with Jacks who informed me that the Senfo contacted the captain this morning,” explained Thresha. “They are sending thirty of their military officers to serve on PHOENIX.”

“Well I’ll be…” That was good news. The Senfo had continuously stated they could not offer any assistance in repairing and retrofitting PHOENIX while they were still rebuilding their homeworld. It was John’s opinion that the Senfo had become scared after the attack on PHOENIX and the destruction of the Cresorian homeworld. He discounted them from actively participating in the alliance.

“The captain has set aside the extra three days to train the Senfo in ship operations and teach them human units of measurements,” added Thresha.

“That’s great,” said Chris as they headed out of the gardens. “Now we’ll have representatives from the entire alliance serving on the ship.” With the alliance agreeing to have their military officers serving on PHOENIX to replace the crew members lost, the ship could still be operated. Everyone recognized the importance of keeping the human starship running.

********

Up in the board room, John was sitting with Commander Olson and the senior staff, which now consisted of a Ni, Quix, and Onixin. They were seated in a larger board room. It was redesigned to accommodate aliens of most shapes and sizes, particularly the slug-looking Quix, who stood over seven feet tall.

“The Senfo transport will arrive here by tomorrow morning,” explained John as they went over ship business. “I’ve already informed them that they’ll begin training as soon as they come aboard.”

“I’ve evaluated their qualifications and have assigned positions based on their skills,” stated Vish, whose humanoid holographic representation was hovering over the table. The Senfo planetary computer was delivered to PHOENIX to act as the new ship computer. The modifications the computer techs did to it back when PHOENIX was at the Senfo homeworld helped to integrate the artificial intelligence into the ship’s computer core without much trouble.

“I concur with Vish’s evaluations,” Julie said to John.

“The Senfo will also be unloading twelve shuttle class vessels,” added Jacks, the Ni who now served as the operations officer. After only a few days on the ship, Julie asked the Ni to give itself a name in order to facilitate communication with the crew. People who talked to the gaseous alien felt awkward when they would inadvertently address the Ni as it. The alien agreed to a name but was unable to come up with one on its own as the concept was foreign to it. Somehow, the name Jacks came up and stuck.

To further facilitate working with organic based life forms, the Ni constructed an artificial humanoid suit for Jacks to operate in. The crew was amazed how natural Jacks moved in its black casing. It made people forget that a gaseous based life form was in the suit. Tiny white lights were dotted around the suit that flickered when Jacks moved.

“With the auxiliary craft provided by the Onixins, Quix, and Ni, we’ve replaced all our lost shuttles and transports,” said Kevin, the senior navigation officer.

“Good.” John was satisfied to hear that the hangar was fully stocked again with support vessels. “How’s the retrofit of the Interceptor launch tubes proceeding?”

“We’re only about halfway done,” answered Julie. “We had to reroute a lot of the secondary n’quadrin pathways to get to the tubes and upgrade them. Our engineers have a hundred more tubes to convert. They don’t anticipate completing the project for at least another month.”

“And for the tubes that have been completed, the fabrication department is still constructing fighter drones for them,” added Korifluxinina, the Quix science officer. She conceived of the idea of using the abandoned Interceptor tubes to house autonomous fighter drones. Only six fighter pilots survived the Screen assault and only four of the Interceptors were salvageable. With no more trained pilots to establish a fighter group, Korifluxinina’s idea was a perfect solution. Unfortunately, the primary and secondary n’quadrin networks had already been constructed, inhibiting progress on the project.

“Our primary and defensive systems have been tested and are ready to go,” reported John. “There’s no reason to delay our launch any longer. They’ll just have to continue the work as we resume our mission. What’s the status of engineering?”

Bret, the ship’s head communications officer, spoke up. “I was there earlier. Postun and Exquinidunadurana report that the interstellar drive has passed all diagnostic tests and is certified for service.” The Ni interstellar drive replaced the hyper drive that was destroyed when the engineering section was severed from the ship. A new engineering section was built on deck fifty-three and the new engine was located there. The Ni technology was based on highly complex physics. Only the Onixin and Quix engineers were able to comprehend its workings enough to develop a maintenance schedule for it. As Postun and Exquinidunadurana were the ones who best understood how the drive worked, John elected them to share the title of head of engineering.

“What about medical?” asked John.

“We’ve perfected the serum for the Onixins that will extend their injections to weekly intervals,” reported Myers. The Onixin’s sun provided a crucial component Onixins needed in order to regulate their metabolisms. They included the component in all their light sources on their homeworld and ships. For some unknown reason the n’quadrin rendered the component inert. After studying the problem, the ship doctors developed a serum that would provide the component the Onixin crew members needed to survive. They would have to receive regular injections to maintain their body functions while living on PHOENIX.

“I’ve added a subroutine to the Onixins’ pips to alert them when they are due for an injection,” added Vish.

“We shouldn’t have a problem,” assured Myers.

“Good,” replied John. He never once looked at Myers. “I want the entire crew at peak performance when we get back out there. If there’s nothing else, everyone is dismissed. Jacks, please remain.”

The staff filed out of the board room and John spoke up once he and the Ni were alone. “I received a message this morning that your people want to meet with me in person.” All of the Ni’s correspondence with the crew had been through communication terminals. No one was ever allowed to go to the planet. For the Ni to be requesting John’s presence on their homeworld after five months was odd.

“The whole notified me of the request,” said Jacks. “You should be honored John Roberts. You will be the first organic life form to set foot on our world.”

John was blunt in his response. “I don’t feel honored. I’m worried. They didn’t say why they want to meet with me. We’ve covered everything of importance in our alliance meetings. What’s there to talk about that requires me going down there?”

“I am sorry. I do not know their reason for the meeting request,” admitted Jacks. “As a condition to serve on PHOENIX, I had to agree to sever my connection to the whole. I have not been privy to their thoughts since joining your crew.”

John was surprised by that revelation. Although the whole was comprised of individual sentient beings, they constantly maintained a connection to one another. Collectively, they knew each other’s thoughts and no secrets were kept among them. “I didn’t realize what you had to give up to join us. I’m sorry.”

“Do not be sorry, John Roberts. I spent many years disconnected from the whole as I explored the galaxy. Although the sacrifice is extreme, I was reminded that I am a unique part of the whole. They would not have asked me of this if they did not believe I was capable of being separated from them again.”

“But I need to ask you, as your captain. Can you endure another separation from them? Will it interfere with your duties as senior operations officer?”

“I have reflected on this and have even sought out the guidance of Thresha,” replied Jacks. “Although I did not agree with how the whole treated you when you returned me here, I was happy to be home. I forgot the serenity the voices of the whole provided. But as you chose to leave your world to save your species from the Screen, I too must make that sacrifice in order to ensure the whole remains safe.”

John wanted to tell Jacks that it wasn’t the same thing. John’s primary reason to leave the solar system was to live in space. Looking for the Screen just happened to be a condition of fulfilling that dream.

John got up from his chair. “As long as you can handle your duties, that’s all I need to know.”

“Thank you, John Roberts,” replied Jacks. “There is one thing I would like to ask you. You may decline to answer it, as I have been told not to bring this subject up to you.”

“What’s that?”

“Since assuming my post as operations officer, several individuals have asked me how I feel about replacing Alex’sis Brandus in the position she once held. I understand there was a connection between you two and do not wish to inflict any discomfort on you.”

“Lieutenant Brandus was a good officer who performed her duties well,” replied John. “Someone has to assume her responsibilities and you’ve proven you’re the best one for the job. So no, you don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine with it.”

“I am happy to hear this. Thank you, John Roberts.”

“Not at all, Jacks. Dismissed.”

As the Ni left the board room, John brought up a holographic display over the table showing the local space and the marked sightings of Screen vessels. As he studied the chart, the face of Alex’sis popped in his head. He quickly dismissed thinking about her. He didn’t have time to dwell on the past. There was important work to be done. He looked at the scars on his hands. They were reminders of when he destroyed everything in his quarters in a fit of rage when he learned that Alex’sis was pregnant with their child. He could have easily had them removed with a trip to medical but he wanted the scars. They were a reminder of what the Screen cost him.

“Vish, bring up the Screen physiological file I’ve been working on,” ordered John. “Access per voice authorization.”

“Voice authorization confirmed, captain,” said Vish. “Would you like to see the file on your DAT or shall I display it on the table?”

“Put it on the table overlaying the star chart,” replied John. “And lock the door to the board room.” Yes, there was much work to be done.