23

—

“Sweetheart,” Mina told Nicola that night. “I know it’s sad. But it had nothing to do with you. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Yes, it was!”

And now that Nicola had finally lifted her face out of the pillow, June Bug began kissing away her tears and snot. Nicola pushed her off.

“I should have written a letter the first day I went to Shady Oaks! Then they would have come in time to save him!”

“Who?”

“The Patient Quality Care Office!”

“Nicola, even if you had written them earlier, it can take ages and ages for anything to happen. Years, sometimes.”

“Years?”

Mina nodded. “And, sweetheart? The people at Shady Oaks? They’re old. They’re at the end of their lives. You cheered up Mr. Milton in his last days. You did a good deed. We’re proud of you.”

It wasn’t good enough. Not with the others still locked in there.

“Do you believe in angels, Mom?”

“In actual angels? No. But I believe in being good and helping others. Every time you do that, you’re an angel.”

Nicola sat up cross-legged and flung back her braid. “You mean I could be an angel?”

“I think you already are one,” Mina said, gathering Nicola in her arms for a hug.

All at once Nicola understood why Mr. Milton kept asking if she was a stranger. If you entertained strangers, some of them might turn out to be angels. He was asking if Nicola was an angel come to help.

“Angels give off a sweet perfume when they’re near,” Nicola said.

“You would too if you’d take a bath more often. Did you learn that in those books you were reading?”

“And from Lindsay. She did her project on angels. They leave signs for us to find so we know they’re there. Most of the time, though, we don’t notice the signs.”

“What kind of signs?” Mina asked.

“Like when I found Shady Oaks. I found it because someone had made a snow angel out front. That could be a sign, right?”

Mina half-nodded. “I guess it could. It would be lovely if it was.”

“I keep wanting just one more sign.” Nicola stroked the little dog in her lap. “I have to keep my eyes open. And I have to use my head. That’s what they want us to do. That’s why they glow.”

Terence tapped on the open door. He had Jackson by the hand. “Someone wants to say goodnight.”

Jackson came in and hugged Nicola, which he hadn’t done for a long time. It felt good. Her father did the same, like every night. He said he was sorry for her loss.

And Mina smiled. “You could be an angel now, Nicola, and brush your teeth and go to sleep.”

Back in bed, Nicola lay for a long time with the light on, thinking about Mr. Milton. How his eyes were so blue under his spiky eyebrows. How the things he’d said only seemed crazy.

Get them out. Not him. Them.

Nicola switched off the light and had a little cry again. In the middle of it, she sat up and turned the light back on.

There it was, where it had been since New Year’s Eve, perched on the shade of her bedside lamp. The sign she’d been waiting for, unnoticed all this time.

A little angel-winged blob of wax.