Bridie

‘Wake up, idiot,’ Bridie hissed, giving Emmet a discreet nudge.

Her brother straightened, tried to blink away the desire to sleep. They were facing Alex and Fitz in a seat of four. Their parents were further up, across the aisle, hopefully unaware that Emmet was struggling to keep his eyes open.

‘Here, have some of my water.’ She passed him her bottle.

‘Thanks,’ he mumbled and took several long gulps. ‘Damn, I’m so thirsty.’

‘That’s because alcohol is a diuretic and dehydrates you.’ Bridie heard her sanctimonious tone and immediately apologised. ‘Sorry, I sound like Miss Wallace.’ Miss Wallace was one of the PE teachers at school, whose remit included alcohol, drug and road safety.

Alex, who was diagonally across from her, didn’t look very alert either. Glazed eyes, head lolling to one side. Fitz was the only one of the three who seemed to be able to handle his drink. His face was slightly flushed but his brown eyes were watchful, bouncing from Emmet to Bridie.

Her phone buzzed. Another text from Amy, her godmother; she had already sent several this afternoon.

You guys on your way? Send me a pic.

Bridie had already sent a photo, from her bedroom as she was getting ready. Amy could be a bit intense, treating her like the daughter she’d never had. Bridie nudged Emmet awake again, and took a selfie of them both.

Amy’s reply came instantly. Ooh lovely. Where’s Mum and Dad?

One of Amy’s earlier messages had implied that Bridie’s parents were having a difficult time. Bridie had assumed it was because of Uncle Sean coming to stay. Now, she began to second-guess herself, which was one of her specialities along with visualising worst-case scenarios. Was something more serious going on with Mum and Dad? Mum’s cancer returning? Or divorce? At school she regularly heard about parents splitting up. It was nearly always out of the blue.

They’re sitting a few rows ahead. The train is packed, she eventually typed, shaking off the negative thoughts.

Emmet guzzled some more water and promptly closed his eyes: it was impossible to keep him awake. Her phoned buzzed yet again.

Fitzboy_Fit: Want a drink from my water bottle?

Bridie looked up from her phone, startled, thrilled. Fitz was staring at her in an open challenge. Emmet and Alex were oblivious, in la-la land.

BridieSull: Your water bottle doesn’t have water in it, does it?

Fitzboy_Fit: Nope.

BridieSull: What’s in it? Vodka? Bourbon? Some deadly mix?

If there was one thing she had learned from those PE lessons, it was to at least determine what it was you were drinking.

Fitzboy_Fit: Vodka with a minuscule dash of lemonade.

Bridie thought about it for a few moments, weighed up the risks and benefits. Risks: getting caught, the vodka making her feel sick. Benefits? Well, she had Fitz’s full attention for however long this went on. She was going to have her first drink at some point, so why not now? And, frankly, she was sick of being a good girl.

She nodded, and he reached across to hand her the bottle. Their fingers brushed and Bridie felt the response reverberating through her whole body. After double-checking that both Emmet and Alex were still asleep and her parents were not looking her way, she put the bottle to her lips, sipping cautiously. The vodka was both strong and surprisingly tasteless: it left a feeling of heat in her throat, and a sense of recklessness deep in the pit of her stomach.

Smiling, she passed the bottle back to Fitz. He swigged, then his gaze immediately dropped to her mouth. She knew what he was thinking: that his lips had been where hers were only moments before. Another response jolted through her body.

Bridie imagined what her friend Lily would say if she were here. The old Lily would be aghast: underage drinking, flirting with an older boy, taking crazy risks in a public place, with her parents just metres away. But the new Lily had leapfrogged past these milestones: the alcohol experimentation, relationships with boys, and other activities that Bridie could only guess at.

Fitz passed the bottle back and she took another, bigger, sip. They locked eyes for what felt like a long time. He really had the most gorgeous brown eyes, which were somehow both warm and daring. If she were describing him in a narrative, she would call his hair dirty blond, and she would portray the crisp clean look of his white cotton T-shirt, and his grey jeans with rips in the knees.

Bridie took two more sips from the bottle before returning it with a decisive shake of her head. She wasn’t stupid. Each sip was probably close to a standard drink; she’d been paying attention in those PE lessons. Besides, she wanted Fitz to see that she had a backbone, that she was mature enough to say no when she wanted to, that she could be his equal.

Emmet rallied as the train neared Central Station; Alex was still dead to the world. Her brother sat up straighter in his seat, looked around him with hooded eyes.

‘You okay?’ she asked.

‘Yeah. All good.’

The atmosphere in the carriage was electric. Everyone seemed drunk, from either excitement or alcohol or – like her – a cocktail of both. She and Fitz continued to steal glances and smiles as the train sucked in even more passengers at Sydenham and Redfern stations.

Fitz tugged Alex’s arm. ‘We’re here. Wakey-wakey.’

Bridie shared one last smile with him as they stood up from their seats. He was standing behind her as they pushed through the aisle. His hand briefly touched her hip before she stepped onto the platform: the touch felt like a promise.

Hordes of people streamed from the platform towards the exit. Adrenaline and alcohol pulsed through Bridie as she was carried along by the fast pace of the crowd. She could see her dad’s broad shoulders up in front and she kept him firmly in sight.

On reaching the street outside, they stopped and waited until everyone had caught up.

Mum turned to Fitz and Alex. ‘Sorry, boys. Our booking at the restaurant is for four people. I doubt they’ll be able to squeeze you in.’

‘No worries,’ Fitz replied. Alex was still out of it, staring into the far distance. ‘Hey, Sullivan, we’ll see if we can find you later.’

Even though Fitz’s eyes were trained on Emmet, Bridie knew he was speaking to her. He was going to find her at the concert, and something was finally going to happen between them. Something that would obliterate the pain and loneliness of the last few months.