Action is the antidote to despair.
Joan Baez,
American folk singer, songwriter, and activist
The effects of living in a continuous state of high alert, helplessness, or restlessness can seep down into our deeper consciousness, with destabilizing influences on our social interactions, our psyches, and our souls. When there are big problems, as there are with many of the societal and global issues that contribute to emotional inflammation, and no one has easy answers, it’s natural to wonder, Is there anything that I can do personally that really matters? The answer is a resounding yes!—for your own well-being and for the world at large. Taking any action to help make the world a more humane and equitable place can have a profound effect on your own sense of well-being and empowerment.
Indeed, one of the most effective antidotes to the frustration and sense of helplessness that many of us are feeling is to roll up our sleeves and take action in some way. In his famous Nicomachean Ethics, the great Greek philosopher Aristotle declared that we reach our highest purpose and our full potential when we fill our lives with meaningful action—and pursue that action with a passion to do it well. For Aristotle, this reflects moral virtue. Taking action also provides us with a sense of control. But this does not mean that we must accomplish a big, heroic action that “saves the day.” The goal is to do what you can that’s in sync with your values, skills, or talents to improve matters in some way. Each of us makes a difference every time we speak out against social injustice, assist someone who needs a hand, help to educate other people, contact lawmakers, volunteer for social outreach programs we believe in, and, in this era of climate consequences, reduce and offset our carbon footprint.
As far as you’re concerned, taking action can provide an immediate mood boost and sense of relief because it lowers the effort expended in trying to bury or ignore the anxiety you’re feeling. Bringing the source of anxiety out of the shadows lets you see its component parts in the light of day and turn your attention to what you can do about it. This is a homegrown version of possibility therapy, a humanistic practice that focuses on discovering or generating solutions to your challenges and fears, rather than getting hung up on the causes of your emotional discomfort. By taking conscious action, feelings of vulnerability can be redirected into useful, concrete remedies. Working toward upstream solutions to distressing issues can feel exhilarating, especially because positive results can improve the lives of so many. Becoming an agent of change also dials down your emotional inflammation because the positive ripple effects of being proactive offset the feeling of helplessness. An additional bonus is that the process activates the reward centers in your brain, reinforcing your desire to stay involved. The net effect: you will feel not only empowered but more psychologically resilient as well.
The inclination to take action on the enormous and varied issues we are collectively facing doesn’t always come naturally. Some people tend to stay on the sidelines, as observers. This is mute testament to the power of the bystander effect. The concept of the bystander effect was popularized by social psychologists John Darley and Bibb Latané after the murder of twenty-eight-year-old Kitty Genovese in New York City in 1964. Genovese was stabbed repeatedly on the street where she lived, in front of a crowd that had gathered and witnessed the attack, but no one immediately called the police or came to her aid. The tragedy launched serious soul-searching in society, leading people to wonder, Was the anonymity of the city, and society in general, leading us to feel so detached that we were becoming indifferent to other people’s suffering?
In studying the bystander effect, Darley and Latané came to a stunning conclusion about human behavior: in a time of crisis, the larger the crowd, the less likely we are to respond. In addition to the size of the crowd, other factors contribute to the bystander effect, including the diffusion of responsibility (If we’re all witnessing this, the responsibility isn’t just on me), the relative sense of anonymity in a crowd (No one knows me), and unconsciously deferring to other people’s judgment (No one else is acting so why should I?). This kind of social paralysis or relinquishing of responsibility has tremendous implications not only for intervening during a crime but also for standing up and speaking out against a variety of injustices.
Anxiety-laced inaction is contagious. If it is witnessed often enough it becomes the social norm—that is, our (mostly) unconscious tendency to automatically buy into what we perceive is socially expected in given circumstances, based on what everyone else is doing. But inaction can add to our feelings of trauma because it is preventing us from doing the very things that would reduce our anxiety.
Fortunately, this herd mentality can be turned around and put to good use. Two things that help break through the bystander effect are recognizing the urgency of the situation and identifying specific, effective actions that can improve or remedy it. When we recognize the force of the herd mentality, we can turn it into an opportunity by capturing its broad power: if one person chooses to take action, others will likely follow that person’s lead. Then, the script changes from No one else is taking action, so maybe I shouldn’t, to If I lead by example, others will follow or That person is taking a stand; I should, too. In this way, the social norm is flipped so that it involves action that is expected and drives interventions to take place with the appropriate or required sense of urgency.
As proof of the power of flipping this switch, imagine what would have or could have happened if passenger Todd Beamer hadn’t been on United Airlines Flight 93 on September 11, 2001, and he and a few other men hadn’t formed a plan to storm the cockpit to take control of the hijacked plane. Beamer led the charge with his now-famous courageous cry, “Let’s roll!” inspiring a handful of other passengers to jump in to help. So instead of hitting the intended target, the US Capitol in Washington, DC, the plane crashed into an empty Pennsylvania field. By flipping the social-norm switch, Beamer galvanized the others to wrest control of the plane from the hijackers. It cost them their lives. It saved countless others.
Looked at another way, a powerful remedy to these anxious, turbulent times we’re experiencing is to consciously recognize and confront inaction, to move from being a bystander to being an upstander, someone who recognizes that something is wrong and speaks up or stands up to work to make it right. It’s about moving from observing in silence to making good noise.
While the upstander concept was originally applied to children who were standing up to bullies, it can apply to taking action on any form of social or environmental injustice—from the Me Too Movement to protesting the burning of fossil fuels. As Martha Minow, a professor at Harvard Law School, explained in a 2014 lecture called “Upstanders, Whistle-Blowers, and Rescuers,” “An upstander may speak out publicly against bigotry and injustice. An upstander may be a whistle-blower, who exposes wrongdoing in the hope of stopping it. An upstander may resist the temptations of silence and passivity by expressing and offering support directly to victims of bigotry and injustice.”
Besides being personally empowering, becoming an upstander helps enhance the principle of fairness that is fundamental to a free and ordered society—and the well-being of our communities and our country. Anyone can become an upstander. In countless ways, both large and small, we have the power to take empowering actions, to speak up, or to stand up for what we believe in—without having extraordinary capabilities or trying to be a superhero.
Upstanders come from all walks of life and among their key characteristics are that they:
Everybody can take action. If you are taking action, you are an upstander. To inspire yourself to become an agent of change, take some time to determine what issues or concerns are close to your heart. Look back at the triggers you identified in chapter 5 that are having the biggest impact on you and review your word cloud from chapter 4. This may help you define your unvarnished feelings, which are not based on what others may think of you or what you think others want you to do, but rather on your personal, authentic emotions and interests. This, in turn, will help you find and form the personal energy and efforts that are needed to become an agent of change.
It also may be helpful to think about the planetary legacy we’re leaving for our children, especially when it comes to climate issues, environmental threats, human rights erosions, and other social injustices. The next step is to evaluate how the situation is perceived and then to identify a constructive action you can take to address it. This two-step process is critical because it captures your attention and directs it toward action, which in turn can help relieve your anxiety.
Though her home was spared damage in the 2017 wildfires in Sonoma County, California, sixty-two-year-old artist Lily, along with just about everyone she knew in her town, was traumatized about the possibility of a recurrence. “The loss of 7,000 homes in one night to fire changed the paradigm here,” she said. “No one thought that could happen in a heavily populated area—trees and forests, yes, not homes. But as we’ve learned, homes are better fuel bombs even than dying forests.” To try to ease the grip of this anxiety, in the spring of 2019 Lily and her husband attended a disaster-preparedness fair hosted by the local fire and emergency services department. There, they got a serious education about how to better protect their home and pets, use a ham radio, outfit their home with “a trauma pack” (a specialized first-aid kit), and create a personal wildfire action plan. Lily also met neighbors she hadn’t known, people who could end up becoming primary first responders if another disaster were to sweep through the area. “Between the threat of earthquakes and wildfires, the feeling of anxiety about the possibility of natural disaster never really goes away here,” Lily says. “But the fair helped me to feel better prepared.”
Once you have chosen the issue you want to act upon, read extensively about it so you feel confident that you know what you are talking about and can address opposing views. Then look for an existing group (or a local chapter of a national organization) that’s working on behalf of that issue and see how you can get your feet wet by volunteering for activities the group is sponsoring. Show recognition and appreciation for the work they’ve been doing, learn from them, and let them know what skills you have to offer or how you can help in other ways. Sometimes volunteers come to a new group feeling uneasy about whether they can be absorbed into the culture smoothly. Be patient! It often takes a while for people to know that you can be depended upon.
It’s an outcome worth waiting for because teamwork can be transformative. Working shoulder to shoulder with kindred spirits for a cause you believe in reduces the feeling of being alone with and in your concerns and replaces it with the uplifting feeling that comes from being, at least momentarily, a part of something bigger. In that way, teamwork is almost a version of awe.
In recent years, fifty-six-year-old Hannah, a teacher in New Hampshire, has experienced these positive effects firsthand. After the 2016 elections, she felt shaken up about what the future would bring, especially for health care, reproductive rights, voting rights, and education. “I started feeling depressed, anxious, scared, and angry—and I hated feeling that way,” she said. To help herself get out of her own head, she started volunteering for Planned Parenthood, which included doing canvassing where she and other volunteers would knock on voters’ doors, talk about the circumstances behind their own abortions, and ask what had shaped the voters’ thinking about the issue.
“It’s been life-changing,” she said. “I’ve had some amazing, meaningful conversations, even with people who are completely against abortion. It reminds me that even the people who are against the issues I believe in aren’t so very different than I am.” Besides enhancing her sense of compassion and connection to others, working to try to effect positive change has been empowering for Hannah, helping her go from feeling helpless to hopeful.
In addition to having a beneficial effect on the community, volunteering can help relieve stress, anxiety, and frustration and improve one’s mood. In a study involving more than 66,000 adults in the UK, researchers found that volunteering to help another person, group, or organization is an especially powerful contributor to our emotional and physical well-being. Volunteering broadens our social networks, which gives us an additional layer of social support. It gives us a feeling of accomplishment, and most precious of all, it gives us an invaluable sense of purpose. Other studies have produced similar results. What’s more, volunteering on a regular basis has been found to buffer the effects of stress. Helping others—by feeding someone who is hungry, sharing your knowledge when it is needed, or being kind to someone who is down and out—brings a sense of dignity and respect to both the giver and the receiver. Plus, looking into the eyes of someone who legitimately benefits from your kindness brings a distinct kind of peace and satisfaction.
An interesting twist comes from a study by researchers at Cornell University. They found that adults who volunteer on environmental projects—what they call “environmental stewardship”—end up with more physical activity, better overall health, and fewer symptoms of depression over a period of two decades. As the researchers noted, in addition to the benefits of increased physical activity, these perks likely stem from spending more time in nature and from “a sense of generativity,” working to achieve something (in this case, helping the planet) that will benefit future generations.
Many different contributions can be made to produce a difference for the health of the planet, your community, and your own life. Every action can have traction because small changes do add up and because what you do sends signals to the people around you that they should do their part. Here are some small steps you can take to contribute to the issues you care about:
Here are some bigger steps:
For more ways to get involved and take action on specific issues, see “Resources.”
One of the easiest and most effective ways to exercise your power is to speak up or stand up, to say or do something if you see something happening that’s clearly wrong. That means being willing to intervene as an upstander if someone is being harassed, bullied, or abused. It means speaking up and pushing back if someone makes a racist or sexist joke or comment in your presence. Or if someone litters in front of you on the street, you could simply say, “Excuse me—you dropped something.” These are small, everyday opportunities that add up and collectively create change.
Meanwhile, don’t be afraid to bring distressing or frightening topics out into the open. As long as they are handled appropriately in the right company, there’s more potential for benefit than harm. For example, talking to kids about their fears or concerns related to gun violence, gender politics, or other current issues can help them build their own psychological scaffolding—and learn from you as you model healthy ways to cope with or adapt to these issues.
Whether you’re sharing your views with one person, five people, or a crowd, pay attention to the tone, style, and content of your message, because these factors can mean the difference between being heard and being ignored. A leading expert on persuasion, Robert Cialdini, PhD, author of Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, contends that the key to getting others to listen and to foster long-lasting changes in behavior is to describe the gravity of the problem (don’t sugarcoat it), using clear language and terms that are easily understood, then to pivot to what can be done about it, describing empowering actions that can offset the feeling of helplessness, ignite resolve, and promote resilience. The more likely we are to imagine a dreadful loss, the more likely we are to take action, especially if we’re presented with ideas for how to take action. We may be reluctant to show emotion when talking to others, a phenomenon that’s referred to as “affect phobia,” for fear it will turn people off. But what people want to hear and what creates sustained behavioral change are most often two different things. Messages that pair why it’s imperative to take action with the specifics of what we can do are most likely to lead to action.
The beauty of these approaches is that while you, as the speaker, may ratchet up other people’s emotional inflammation when you discuss a particular threat or issue, you can then capture the energy of those feelings and drive it toward the solution, which lowers people’s anxiety, thereby strengthening their commitment to addressing the issue. Social psychologists report that the most effective way to change behavior is to use messages that portray the actions we want to see, not what we don’t want to see. With our innate desire to fit in, social approval reinforces our choices. So focus on how others are engaging in positive action—perhaps by noting that more and more people are advocating for stricter gun laws instead of saying that too many people still don’t care about gun safety and reform. In other words, when addressing a recommended action, swing toward the positive.
But don’t confuse swinging positive in order to drive other people’s behavior with downplaying real threats. It’s an important distinction to keep in mind. A colleague of mine once criticized me for being negative when I described climate threats, saying I should emphasize the positive. He pointed out that when American civil rights activist Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. gave his iconic speech at the 1963 March on Washington for Jobs and Freedom, he didn’t say I have a nightmare. Dr. King didn’t need to. His audience already knew the nightmare, the emotions of which he captured and directed into a galvanizing call for justice. His immortal words, “I have a dream . . .” told them what should be expected: “that one day this nation will rise up, live out the true meaning of its creed . . . that all men are created equal.”
A lot can be achieved by knowing and using the power of words—and capturing other people’s emotions to guide them toward collective action. Saying things once rarely works. Before a message is finally heard, it has to be repeated many times. Building the infrastructure to creating change can take a long time, but once it happens things can go quickly. There’s value in repeating the message in order to change other people’s actions, just as there is when trying to get kids to clean up their rooms. Don’t nag and don’t become shrill. Simply continue to provide the call to action, based on credible insights, so that eventually people are encouraged to join you in exercising their power.
If you can tap into and draw out other people’s good natures and good intentions, it helps you find common ground and creates trust and enduring commitment to the action you’re taking. As the old proverb goes, “Nothing breeds success like success,” and that’s true in an unpredictable world, too. Hearing stories and seeing images that connect with us emotionally, that give hope by illustrating how things are improving—such as nearly extinct animals surging back to life, illiteracy giving way to the pride of knowing how to read, and diseases being cured with ingenious, cooperatively shared research—can work like magic, restoring optimism and energy and renewing your commitment to being an agent of change. Keep your eye out for what we as human beings are doing right, and how we are and can continue turning things around.
When it comes to emotional inflammation, or anything that’s distressing, taking steps to correct or modify a troubling situation is a healthy coping mechanism because it replaces the feeling of helplessness with one of empowerment. When you appreciate that taking action is therapeutic, you can begin to regain a sense of refuge that resonates for you. Instead of simply feeling vulnerable and unsteady, you can redirect your energy into working to change the upstream conditions that fuel your worries, while finding like-minded people to be at your side.
For these reasons, it’s worth considering for a moment that emotional inflammation could be a hidden asset, rather than simply a burdensome weight. After all, it can set in motion your interest and inspiration to take action, in which case your passion for evoking positive change may become contagious. By seeing you exercise your power and put your skills to good use, others are often motivated to follow your lead, even without being aware of it. While one person can’t usually make a substantial difference in changing the state of the world or humanity, our individual actions are counted together. On a personal level, by capturing the energy of your outrage, fear, and perhaps at times, despair, and channeling it into potential solutions, your life can be smoothed over with the sense of purpose that is the best salve for emotional inflammation.
As an example, consider fifty-two-year-old Tim, a science writer in Maryland. He spent years suffering from emotional inflammation, largely triggered by worries about climate change and environmental destruction, and often had images of disaster flowing through his mind. After trying to suppress them somewhat unsuccessfully, he decided to capture his anger and frustration and direct them into concrete action by becoming an activist, protesting the building of fossil fuel infrastructures, vigorously fighting fracking, and organizing communities and building coalitions to do the same. He has chosen to lead a life that reflects his values, and that knowledge provides him with considerable solace, as he continues to fight for our very survival today.
Becoming an agent of change and exercising your power to alter or modify the issues that are troubling you is a means of coming to your own emotional rescue. Rather than succumbing to your feelings of distress, forging ahead and thinking strategically about how to make things better can help change the course and quality of your life. It can provide a greater sense of meaning and a sharper sense of clarity about your values and how you want to conduct your life. Exercising these action-taking, confidence-building steps—by tactfully expressing your views and altering your behavior in life-affirming ways—produces a cycle of positive reinforcement, making it more likely that you’ll continue these constructive actions and inspire others to do the same.
So keep looking up and moving forward, directing your energy and determination into thoughtful, deliberate action. Reclaiming your emotional equilibrium, and helping others to do the same, doesn’t have to remain a wish or a dream. It can become your new reality, with every step you take in the right direction. You have already embarked on the journey.