MOONLIGHT SNACK

Two legs smelled different than the others. He was tangy. Almost citrusy. Instead of entering through the gate like the others usually did, he expertly scaled the fence and dropped into the enclosure. Four security lights and the moon guided his way. He carried nothing. No meat. No pointy items. No pain. He was furless, and his dark skin glistened seductively under the full moon.

The young man wore some sort of implement around his neck which he now grabbed and held away from his body. He threw back his head and began to dance in circles, all the while yelling at the full moon.

‘King Khan, I am your loyal follower,’ he bellowed.

They called him Khan. The two legs. It meant nothing. He was the Alpha. That was all any of them needed to know. Not sensing fear emanating from the unexpected guest, Khan slowly rose to his feet and approached the yelling man, while the rest of the pride looked on curiously.

‘I am your loyal follower,’ the naked man suddenly dropped to his knees, perspiration beading on his high unlined forehead. ‘Bestow your blessings upon me, Mighty Warrior. Make me worthy.’

In response to this garbled request, Khan ducked his head slightly and licked the man’s torso, his sandpaper tongue rasping across dusky skin. The salt tasted pleasant. The man gasped at the sensation and leaned back. Khan slowly turned his giant head and regarded the pride.

‘I think it wants to play,’ he rumbled at them.

Now well and truly awake, the females jumped up and strolled over to investigate.

‘He smells funny,’ the one they called Ceely remarked. She moved closer and head butted the kneeling visitor on the shoulder. ‘Why is he screeching? It is resting time.’

Kara, the oldest female, now approached and sniffed the newcomer. ‘Make the noise stop,’ she begged Khan. ‘It hurts my ears, and I am tired.’

‘Perhaps this two legs knows where my cubs are,’ Ceely unexpectedly licked the man’s face. ‘Ask him.’

‘I don’t speak two legs,’ Khan replied quietly. ‘But I shall try.’

He flung his head back and roared the question at the guest. An answering screech was heard from the cages next door.

‘Those dratted chimps,’ Kara sounded fretful now. ‘Why must they make such a hullabaloo?’ She rested her front paws on the man’s shoulders and pushed him over so he was lying supine.

‘Please stop making that infernal racket,’ she snarled into his face.

The man’s face twisted in fear and he began to scream louder than ever, struggling on the ground below Kara. Ceely and Kara backed away and began to growl in earnest. A low-level rumble sounded from the east as the elephants woke up. Upon hearing this, the chimps took their crescendo of noise up a notch, and began to screech at full capacity. A tiger snarled from the west.

In the distance, the disharmonious reverberation of human voices reached the lions’ enclosure.

‘The two-legs are coming for you,’ Khan informed the shaking man. ‘You can cease making that racket now.’

To his frustration, the creature refused to be quiet.

‘This one is stupid,’ Kara snarled. Ceely nodded vehemently in agreement.

Khan felt old and tired. He needed his rest. Shaking his head in disgust, he slowly bent over the recumbent form. Taking care to be gentle, he took the young man’s neck between his mighty jaws and squeezed until the screaming stopped on a watery gurgle. Blessed silence.

‘Should we rest now or eat?’ Cara enquired timidly. ‘I am tired but I feel peckish after all that excitement.’

‘We may as well,’ Khan rumbled. ‘Since the food is here, it would be wise not to waste it.’

The pride settled down to enjoy the feast while in the nearby enclosure the monkeys continued to chatter and wail in a most annoying fashion. The sound of agitated human voices grew steadily closer.