And Now a Word from Our President . . .

JANUARY 7, 2004

(12 years, 10 months, and 1 day until the election)

Howard: You don’t drink?

Donald: No.

Robin: Not at all?

Donald: No. Never had a drink. That’s one of my good things. Never had a drink, and I never had a cigarette. Other than that, I’m a disaster.

Howard: No glass of alcohol? Never? Wine?

Donald: Never had a drink or glass of alcohol.

Artie: No weed or anything like that? No dope?

Donald: I never had any of that.

Howard: No hillbilly heroin?

Donald: It was always women, Howard. For me, it was always women. . . .

Howard: So you’re telling me, you haven’t banged any other chicks since taking up with Melania?

Donald: No. I’ve been very faithful.

Howard: Really?

Donald: Yes.

Howard: I know you’re lying. . . . How much money do you make a day?

Donald: Hey, look, I’m the biggest developer in New York by far.

Howard: You think you’re worth two billion right now, right? Or more?

Donald: Honestly?

Howard: Honestly.

Donald: Much more. Honestly, much more.